WTF? TUESDAY Dating and Relationship Advice Questions & Answers (7/23/19)



[Applause] my aura is so bright today that I had to wear my dark glasses so I just you know you guys might want to put yours on too so you don't get blinded you know there's like greatness happening here see the pep talks I give myself this is me in the morning every day I'm like girl you just gonna kill it today you gonna get out there you're gonna make the damn thing happen that's the kind of stuff that's the way I talk to myself let's see this is how I go out and about in the world and I'll be looking at them dudes I love these little sunglasses so I have about five pairs of them with different shade of frames and different lens colors and this is my fave my signature move when I see a honey Hill by what your name is they always laugh they always laugh okay what am i doing okay what's up ladies I wasn't here clownin I know and just screwing up stuff man I saw the thing was supposed to start didn't said starting in six minutes I was like what's going on here what happened well hey what had happened did it but whatever it came on and so I'm not gonna be too worried about it welcome everybody to the show you know you have time to extend the link out and get some more ladies up in here for this this amazing amount of you know what eree I'm gonna really try really hard to be clean mouth today let's see how long I can do it you know we can take bets I know lady boss to me like I give you ten minutes last time I didn't even last to first letter I was like oh but I would try really hard this time okay so to get rid of these things oof for us are thinking I'm Rachel or somebody but I win case you just wandered in and you aren't sure where you are this show is called what the fuck Tuesday we come here every Tuesday responding to advice questions that people have sent in that make you scratch your head in amazement and say what the hell what's going on what the fuck was that and so that's how his name came to me used to be called something else I forgot what was because we the name didn't last for too long we changed it to this like within a couple of weeks yeah you say three sentences twenty minutes I see the vets are coming in the vets are coming in and the disbelief is being displayed so I should Nicky over right hey I would try really hard i'ma try really hard but you know these people be sending me places that I don't be trying to go that's why I got my aura up so that I would be you know in a psychic space to be able to deal with it without losing my mind that's my hope anyway now for those of you who know the routine I wear a different t-shirt every Tuesday with some kind of crazy saying on it this one says you smell like drama and a headache please go away that's what it says you smell like drama and a headache please go away so I think there's got to be you know a lot of people that could get that received that message today from their significant others let me get a swig of water man the allergies have been so high so we are going to get rolling here I've been coughing man it's like it rains then a sunny then is cold then a sunny so the grasses and everything are just like knee-high it's ridiculous so people like me are struggling struggle in all right let's get started with this what the fuck Tuesday caller of July 23rd 2019 we have looks like 15 letters that's not a letter that's just junk on my desk yeah we got 15 letters today so let's go question number one this is from a young man in the 30 to 35 age group from Los Angeles I've been dating a girl from work since she was separated she's 37 I'm 33 now completely deaf divorced they have two kids together four and two man she has a physically abusive ex-husband who she has a restraining order on but he violates it and I showed up to her place physically hit her and then he beat her whoa idiot has a newborn with the girl he cheated on her with too he has done this in the past in front of the kids hold on you guys I have a cough drop I need to suck on for a few minutes for a second give me like 30 second okay let's see if that helps uh he's done this in the past in front of the kids and now they're going through DCFS it's just a mess she's filed police reports and oh he's taking her phone multiple times and has messaged me and I've held my tongue I have not said anything he has tried to come to my place once before and I wasn't home what sucks is how it gets stuck she feels and I wish there was something I could do but I'm not trying to fight and get involved cause I'm not jeopardizing my freedom because I have a son to raise I myself have an eight-year-old and give along with my ex great and I just can't believe the mess that's going on with them too I care about her a lot but not sure if I can deal with the drama she's pretty much my counterpart we get along well and just get each other she's an amazing person and mom and she just doesn't deserve to go through all that she's going through before I do something I may later regret I wanted to run this by you death to question number one am i right for not getting involved am I supposed to be her Savior and number two is it worth it you have to deal with this for life I do I run away now let me start by sharing a story I read sometime last year a girl in a similar situation and a guy you know he was like you know a big old dude and he thought you know any kind of scrapping happened he could handle himself I don't recall if he was the father I think he was though but I think his kid was even younger than yours and yeah I think they remember saying four or five or something but anyway dude the ex rolled up on the two of them when they were going into her apartment and he shot the woman he shot his own son and he shot dude all three of them are dead why did he do that because he's an idiot and idiots don't have like a frame of reference like normal people do I am going to suggest I don't care how much you love this woman you like this woman you think this great she's older than you that's you know I mean I'm not saying that's a horrible thing she's 30 she's four years older than you and she got two kids as younger than yours so this dude is gonna be in her life causing her drama for way longer than your ex is gonna be in yours my suggestion is that you put immediate and plenty of space between two of you tell her that you sorry that you really liked her maybe once her she'd get straight you know you can hook back up but right now it's sounding like her ex is not wrapped too tight and you have to take put space between the two of you because you need to protect your child dudes coming to your house and shit see that's that to me is the warning flag right there that he's crazy who goes go to somebody else's house knocking on the door about your ex nigga that your ex see how many minutes was that so it's like you know that your ex you don't had that to do it or no more why are you trippin on who she's with go be with somebody himself and you should have been beating on her Stephanie maybe she wouldn't have left you but it just shows he's stupid so I you know right so he's got a new baby so he gotta you know the woman he cheated on her with so he cheated on she got a lotta nerve trying to control what she does with herself after their divorce and but this is a very dangerous time for her I really do feel sorry for too bad she can't hire like a bodyguard that would be her best bet but you need to step far far away from this don't call her change your number move that's what I must say because there dude knows where you live now let's hope you don't know where you work or where your little boy go to school stuff like that because it's you know these guys sometimes they follow you their stalkers and they want to know stuff so they be following you and you don't even know it because they change vehicles they borrow friends cars and all kind of stuff so they're not in the car that you looking for them to be in keep this Ollis in mind and do what you can to protect your son and leave this this crazy situation along he's lowering your ass ain't bulletproof you ain't Superman okay keep that in mind you do you down there in LA with these nuts let me suck on my cough drop some more well he don't love her see that's a common thing people say that oh that's a love that's not love that's the desire to control that's why he beat her you don't try to hurt something that you love come on now you got the wrong mentality Juan if you up in here with that kind of shit we don't play that here there's no kind of abuse that demonstrates love that's some sick twisted fucked-up thinking that you just typed in the chat this man just wants to control or he sees her as property he sees her something that he owns his toy and so nobody else has the right to play with it he can break the toy he can bend the toy pummel on the toy cheat on the toy hurt the toy breaks toys hard he didn't under that matters he don't want nobody else to have a toy and that's what this is all about there's no sign of love anywhere in this scenario yeah he need to move so I was him I move out there with the white people I don't you know out of LA because you move out there with the white cops need to do to come up there acting a fool if you want to it'll be Rodney King part 2 and then you'd be just like oh maybe you shouldn't come to my house and then this wouldn't happen let's move on to question number 2 we got 15 questions on what the fuck Tuesday today we're doing live advice here on the depths tourism channels what we do here every Tuesday I will be intermittently sucking on a cough drop to keep from blowing everybody's eardrums off with my coughing fits but um yeah it's allergy season is high allergies in California I tried a new color lipstick as a side attraction this is kind of an orange e some kind of stuff and then I tried to see I was planning to make up my daughters like mom are you playing your makeup again I'm like yes I sure AM but you know let's try something different see what it look like all right yeah want rolling hit that like that like button and be quiet all right over here question number two female 25 to 30 from Alberta Canada sue probably know where that is to me it's just a name hi Deb I'm having some real issues that need a bit of help I've been with my boyfriend for five years I'm 26 and he's 36 five years I mean she got him when she was only 21 he was divorced a year before we met we lived together with our two dogs but a past year I've been unhappy I've been unable to put my finger on what it was until I started thinking it's my relationship and situation making me feel trapped we get along fine other than the usual arguments couples have from time to time and get past them I started realizing I was so miserable all the time because I spend all of my time with him and don't get time for myself so I started seeing friends that aren't mutual friends and spending time focusing on things I like to do but this caused an issue as he would get jealous of everything I did and always try and get involved here we go here we go we talked about a nice play what I was doing and he seemed to accept it as giving me a lot more space I'm just still not happy I don't know where this going and what the point is he recently asked a friend of mine whether it's time to promote propose to me I've talked to her about my feelings so she told him not to but I just don't understand how he can love me like that that's an interesting statement there's no obvious issue with our relationship everything is fine we're together I just can't get past my need for freedom and feel so selfish I feel like our age gap is now an issue because he's so settled and I just feel like I'm wasting my life away I thought about suggesting we take a break spend some time apart I wouldn't be interested in dating other people I just want to see if it's really what I want but I can't help feeling so selfish unfair to put him through all of that when he's so happy this is stressing me out and I feel so lost I understand how two people can be on such different pages in a relationship what different pages you know what I mean let me just rewind here a little bit number one you got with this dude who had been married and divorced when you were 21 years old probably you know that's like still in college age you're just graduating from college age just getting out into the world and you've already tied up and tied down in a relationship with a man ten years older than you I don't know what you were thinking that 21 well actually like yeah well twenty-one cuz most things you gotta be that age – drinking cold bars and whatnot so that 21 to 30 age period is when you just do all your traveling with your girlfriends going to parties go on vacations weekend trips just acting as if damn folk that's what you do during that period of time starting your career trying to figure out who you are as a woman what you gonna do with yourself all of those exploratory actions and thoughts that go on in that developmental period of the early to mid-20s you didn't do it because you was in relationship with some old fucker so what you need to do and I mean I'm like you know thirty whatever he was 31 when y'all got to give us a nice 36 it's not like that's really Oh but it's too old for you that's what I mean so you that's what's going on with you you want to spread your wings and do your own thing but you can't because you feel like I need to be this perfect person in this relationship that he wants me to be so you're trying to meet his expectation to his needs while you're not meeting your own and you that's what's may give you all this conflict angst and frustration so what I'm gonna say no you don't take a break break it stupid what you do is tell him you want to break up just say I can't do this right now I need to be something I need to go and find out who I am and I know it sounds cliche but that's exactly what it is that's going on you do you know you've been like the perfect girlfriend the fiance the live-in mate you haven't been yourself you don't even who the fuck you are you sitting up here talking about you know you to feel stifled and all that yes you do the things that you like to do evidently you gave all of those up so you need to tell these try to explain this to him but you don't listen to this break it down for him think about it break it down from as well as you can and then pack your stuff and move out move in with one of your girlfriends or something and tell them that you know you just can't do this you're not ready for marriage you're not ready to be a mama you're not ready to be a wife you're not ready to do any of those things you want to do some kicking up your heels and be young and you need to do it now before you get too old and that's exactly what's going on bye Felicia [Laughter] Frederick whatever his name is just say bye that's all you have to do fourth thing all right question number three it's basically because with you guys what she's looking for here is permission to do what I just told her to do she wants to do it but she's scared because it's the unknown you know she's been with this man like most of her so far adult life and so she'd be striking out on you know new territory and it's scary but it's just what she really wants to do she just needs some very you know somebody to support her in doing it and you have my full support so let's move on to question number three male 21 to 28 from Ohio my girlfriend's dad doesn't approve of me because I'm an atheist and he comes from a conservative religious upbringing Oh nada and plus he's her father doesn't that so dude what were you thinking my girlfriend's mother isn't as religious than he is and my girlfriend says that she quote kind of believes in God but I honestly feel like she only says so to put up with the dad anyway he's not exactly keen on being around me and he doesn't like whenever I come over to their house so I've done what I can to avoid him but just last week I ended up going on vacation with my girlfriend her family her dad was against but the trip was to their summer rental house and it's an annual trip in North Carolina with that they take and the house was paid for by my girlfriend's mom's brother that uncle actually likes me he was more than happy to let me join a trip and the dad didn't have any say dude you wrote a fucking book the trip consists of nine people me my girlfriend her parents brother girlfriend see do I need to know all of these details the dad ruined it for everyone we avoid each other on the first day and it was easy since I drove my own car with my girlfriend but the next day we all went out to eat and I ordered a salad since I want to eat healthy her dad was sitting right next to me and he ordered himself a full plate of prime rib yeah he began criticizing me for eating a salad and he started bragging about his manly meal he told me to man up and stop eating woman food Wow okay let me stop in it's a joke what I would have said and when your fat ass kills over from a heart attack of clogged arteries don't say nothing with all that dead animal all over your plate you need to shut up people eat vegetables live longer but you'll never know that something rude like that okay now back to the letter he's okay he told me the man of a stop eating woman food and I just sat there and took it in to keep the peace never the next day he suddenly barges into the room that me and my girlfriend were staying in and start yelling at me to pick up my clothes and stop leaving them all the floor wow I told him he's not paying for the house he has no right to be saying anything I then argued of my room and I can do whatever I want in it I even said to him I could take a dump in my hand and smear it all over the walls and they'd be fine this is my room okay you just went ignorant didn't you her dad simply said don't push it and then came dinner we barbecued and again I just chose to have some salad and a bowl of fruit my girlfriend's dad saw and he said you ruining this vacation little why don't you okay there at the end of oh and then the father said this guy's not ever gonna be a part of my family and I he looked up and I asked him what he meant by that and he says you're not gonna every welcome to my family I'm just doing what Jesus would do what I snapped grab one of her mom's homemade pies and threw it at her dad he was covered in fire and yelling at me to leave and that's what I did I went out in the front yard and followed by everyone else I got in my car and drove off I drove to my own house I've been ignoring my girlfriend's calls check some voicemails that trip was last week and I'm still avoiding all of them part of me wants to never contact her again and just leave things there they are but another part of me wants to try and make things right I just really hate her dad I don't know how much more this I can put up with he's always like this when I'm around but he just gets along fine with my girlfriend's brother's girlfriend I do really care about her but I'm trying on how to handle it oh no you delete it alone right now you know why cuz you left like a G that's what I'm talking about made that motherfucker wear a pie I love it it's aggressive but it's not too aggressive it's not let's gonna put him in hospital anything but he definitely you left your mark so then you not talk to any of them now including your girlfriend that's a good thing stay far far away from her and her wacky is dead and that crazy mama cuz I'm with some crazy Betsy bug type folks leave them alone before you end up hurt or you and I've hurt the dead and I both y'all end up in jail just leave – just leave it just don't change your number as a matter of fact no sauce or maybe blocker just make it over you know she never was when I'm looking for her to step up and say dad you know leave him alone dad get out room dad what are you talking about stop being rude dad that kind of stuff and she just sitting there and she didn't say nothing I would have been checking my daddy right and left it's like you don't be talking that we leave in there I'm not gonna be say we're not gonna be subjected to this kind of stuff you know but some people they just sit there and they just take it yeah he using religion but he's not even that religious and if they're toxic talking to people like that you know Jesus wouldn't be doing a stink rule like that to somebody you're bullying somebody you know and talking about you ruin his vacation although you know you are weird because you have a salad food that's lunch food or breakfast or something and you someday have an F for dinner that was just kind of odd but whatever let's move on that relationship is over okay next time find somebody who believes the same has the same moral and values that you do so that this is not even an issue I learned that lesson the hard way because I'm pretty you know tolerant of other people's religious beliefs and other stuff I'm not tripping don't push your Jesus down my throat and I won't push my lack of it on down yours we can coexist peaceably okay that's how I do like weeds in a garden okay it's just that's just what's gonna happen you know caterpillars they guys go eat your shit doesn't follow there is to it so you know you just got to learn to deal with each other but this dude he was like a Catholic and just so foul I was like wow and his behavior did not match what he was supposed to be preaching you know there was a lot of hypocrisy in him and so when we split up it was because he was crazy in my mind he was something's wrong with him and so that was that and after that I vowed I was never gonna date another religious man again well um I'm vegan sir and I would still not have fruit and a salad for dinner that's lunch that's a very light meal that'll be through you in about an hour and a half that's not a dinner should be heavier and uh that's like you know something to do you for breakfast or lunch like I said not dinner so he was just kind of bizarre but I'm telling you you go on my black's going vegan vlogging you see the kind of stuff I cook and eat and it ain't no damn salad and fruit bowl we have food all right let's move on to question number four that was just really bizarre man pies being thrown poopy wipe Tom wall oh okay all right this is for female 30 to 30 60s out of Boston all right so let me paint a picture of my life right quick I've been married for 10 years we are both 35 we have two kids once eight one's three I work for home and my husband's been unemployed for like eight months so we're together practically all the time well I don't mind it I also want to preserve my friendships I don't have a lot of friends anymore I used to have a lot and through the years things change so the little amount of friends I have now I want to make sure I keep them but this the but just the drama if my friends that I go out we go have sushi which my husband hates or go drinking day drinking home by 10:00 p.m. at the latest or go to our local coffee shop to gossip my husband has argued that I should invite him to spend time with my friends like he advised me but I feel like I need to keep that separate there my therapist free of charge naturally I don't want to mix them so I could I could invent freely anyway he says that I need to stay at home and take care of our kids like he does I don't think that's right he doesn't have any friends so when I push him to go out and have time for herself you guys apply to go out with who what friends this however is not my fault he chooses to not have friends and now he is mom shaming me for trying to keep my is that a thing mom Shamy that's new to me I have tried to reason with him I just don't know what to do specifically how to get through to him I feel like I'm trapped in a cage don't get me wrong I love my family life and I'm very grateful to have it I just don't think I'm solely a mom or a wife I'm still me well this is the thing you tell your husband with his unemployed ass that a bunch of women don't feel like looking at him you need to be blunt I just don't understand these women truck well you know I don't want to hurt his feelings you know I just met he knows don't know bunch of women woman look at him I want to look at somebody's husband sitting there looking like a bump on a log all hairy and sweaty and stuff oh go somewhere with yourself go do something go to a movie or to the hardware store or some manly shit do something with yourself but you sitting up there under a bunch of women that's not cool and what we're all those other husband say about him always want to come around they're women you know what I mean you can put it like that to say you caught some problems and other people's relationships because these other men are wondering why you guys want to be around their wives you gonna stay your butt at home and watch your kids this is not gonna have you not gonna be causing problems and even if it's not true like how you gonna prove that it's not true the second point is you need to just start walking out the door I mean he's there in the house with the kids go you don't need his permission you're a grown woman they're there with their father you know if you need to put your stuff what outfit at your girlfriend's house or something earlier and then change over there and go out with your friends and then come on when you get good and damn well ready this is ridiculous you acting like you a teenager would occur whew mm-hmm but I don't know you know why he doesn't have any friends you right that's his that's his choice has nothing to do with you and you shouldn't have the burden of being his only friend and you definitely as a woman need friends but let me caution you about one thing I notice here you were talking about there your therapist free of charge that means you telling all kind of business about your marriage that your big-ass mouth don't need to be talent okay probably to know your business some people are just too free with their mouths you talk about stuff that concerns you you don't talk about stuff that concerns him give him that respect I can just see you now just running off at the mouth and the more alcohol you get in anymore you share you know there are certain things that certain boundaries as a woman woman you need to maintain and that is you don't be letting nobody else up in your marriage now if you have in a situation where he's abusing you or something abusing the kids well that's different you might need an emergency respite care or something like that but then yeah their friends would need to know about that is there some danger to you are the children so case something happens to you they don't know what's up and they can get in touch with the law enforcement that's different but I'm just talking my everyday little you know stuff that happens in people's marriages you need to keep your mouth closed that goes for the rest of you too they'll be mouthing off telling women are your business you get off free with your lips and start flapping telling people yeah he needs a job that's what he should be doing instead of worrying about where she is she bears some local employment agencies or something looking for some work once he did that then he would have something she would be too busy to – you know to be all up in your mix like that okay let's move on to number five we got a male in the 30 to 35 age group he's in the UK he says I have been with my girlfriend for two years and we have lived together for most of our relationship Wow these folks be moving in together early I don't want to live with nobody she has kids and I'm never included in any parenting decisions and really any sort of decisions even though their father is deceased and I have fully stepped into the role of loving guiding and assuming responsibility for them I haven't given up I have given up on setting boundaries with them because if we come up with plans together like behavior contracts or chores she invariably fails to follow through on them oh one of them weak Mama's a recent example of not including me decisions is that we have been planning a camping trip for a long time and right at the last minute she announced that she told her teenage son that he could bring two of his friends along and our neighbor is also coming along this is supposed to be a family camping trip I was the one who actually booked a cab and paid for it so it's not like I'm just tagging along and no she's not using me financially she makes three times as much as I do I just want you to know that I was at least on some level involved in planning and making the trip happen okay we are supposedly a all that functions like we are married isn't inviting three more people to a family cabin trip something I should have been run by me first shouldn't I be included in such a decision my girlfriend doesn't have great communication skills she's extremely defensive quick to anger and uses sarcasm and mocking laughter she will say things like everything I do is wrong and you're always right nothing's ever fair to you et cetera in this way she is like my ex-wife and my mother oh is that you telling on yourself she makes me feel like she doesn't respect me like I don't matter do you have any thoughts let me go back to the tapas you say it so much and you so few words see just the kind of letter I like those the shit is concise you get to the hard core fact you don't wander all down west through China and come back good job all right as far as you know this thing about the chores and all of that that's the problem because I've seen when people have blended families like that there has to be a consensus on how the children are going to be you know what responsibilities they're having the household as well as any rewards and discipline they have to be both people parenting need to be on the same page when there is a conflict or you agree but what profession does that passive-aggressive thing where they don't stand up for it you know to it and let them want to be the kids friend well that creates a problem you don't have any children and she just doing what the fuck she want to do that's what I'm saying okay so let's move on and talk about this camping trip she now she'd bring in her teenage sons of two teenagers and a neighbor or any of these folks paying for stuff some food some gas or is it expected that you know even though she might make three times as much as you I mean even if you're there as one of the adults if something happened to me you've assumed a responsibility for these minors okay that's you know something maybe you didn't want to do all that you didn't want to be responsible for other people's kids so she removed that choice from you so you outside and the boys are outside and the girl ladies are inside and something happens to one of them teenagers then what but you're supposed to do they can be looking for you to step in and step up okay and then shouldn't you have been included in that decision absolutely and just sarcasm and all this whole stuff that she does hmm I will tell you is you know you feel like you feel disrespected and like you don't matter I would feel the same way but you know what I would do about it when it came time to go for them to go on this camping trip they would go and I would go somewhere else by myself I would not be bothered with that shit at all and if I had paid my money I would be calling that cabin saying cancel the reservation and give me my money back that's what I would be saying and then they could figure out where they gonna go and they can't be true because it's not gonna be worth I paid my money and it's not gonna be where my you know anything is tied to me because obviously I don't have no say-so over the trip that I'm supposedly parent planning so y'all make the magic happen in any way you can now see that's how I am and that's when I would rise to my highest level of petty all of it would come out I would not be there I'm not gonna be looking for nobody else's brats I don't want to hear today I'm not trying to entertain no other adults I'm not trying to do all of that I don't wanna be bothered if I want to do it I could just stay at the house and they all look over here anyway even if I sell out how someone was making all that noise a neighbor next door I'm running in downtown no a vacation means you get away from all of those people you don't bring them with you so you better than me cuz I'm telling you I know me and I know that's what I would do I would be so played out I cancel that reservation first and then I would go somewhere else once that money hit my account I'd be out to wherever it was I wanted to go by myself and let them figure it out no they're not married but that's not the point the point is that they living together and he's not broke he just said she makes three times as much Ishita he did not say that he was broke come on now stop jumping to conclusions putting stuff in people's mouths that's not he said are you making you know you making $70,000 but somebody's a corporate attorney and they make it 200 and whatever times okay they make it three times as much as you but are you broke no so stop that that's not what that means it just means she makes more money a lot of women do these days but anyway that's what I would do sir so you need to rethink this relationship because it doesn't show any signs of being a partnership which sounds like what you're looking for and she just want to do her own thing and run shit and just you know make her own do everything the way that she wants to do it and so that's aside for you that what you're looking for in relationship as a partner a team it's not gonna happen not with this woman not happening and you need to accept that and move on let's move on to question number six we got we own six of a number 15 today six of a number 50 yeah 15 questions today Oh all right this one's from a guy 25 to 29 he says USA I have a friend that I've known for a few years now he's like a brother to me we've always had a good time and never really had problems or conflicts one thing about him is that he's a ladies man probably the biggest that I've ever met the guy is always talking to multiple different females at once and has serious game he has never had an issue with picking up girls and usually every weekend he meets a new one or two at bars clubs and online apps he usually likes to brag by showing me the next the next day of pictures are dirty conversations that the girls will send him and I usually just laugh and tease him about it lately though it's been kind of catching up to me my game has been offered with women as of late and I'm by no means an ugly guy I'm up there with him and have the same level of confidence but yet when we hang on and go places I can tell the girls I was looking at him and are interested in just the way girls will smile with him upon meeting us would give me just a mere reaction when I introduced myself it frustrates me on the inside and it happens almost every time we hang out and go out together okay well then obviously you ate on the same level as him I'm sorry but that's just the way that it is the other thing is that he's very flaky if it means him getting rid of chick I don't blame him at public places but here and he'll knowingly leave me on my own if he's with a couple of girls they want to introduce him to their larger group he'll also cancel plans a lot of a girl wants to meet with him at the same time we're going to hang out sometimes it can be literally be five minutes before we were supposed to meet up one time I want concert tickets on the radio and we were gonna go and like four hours before the concert he flakes in favor of meeting up with this girl that he had met on tinder today before he's a good guy but lately I really haven't been talking to him because I think I'm getting jealous of the amount of attention he gets from women and his flaking which is really annoying I feel like a piece of shit friend and almost want to tell him that he cares more about chasing tail than his brothers am I wrong for thinking slash feeling like this is there anything I can do to better the situation so it's not like this and it vices we appreciate yes all you have to do is tell him like look man you know I know all this you know you are young 25 to 29 right now he's sticking with his little head instead of the big one and you know you can tell him that just like you know I understand this what's going on with you but I'm telling you that you know you not a good friend if I'm making plans with you and you drop them and chase chasing after some tail do you know what that just is a kind of interesting dilemma especially when it's something that costs money or something I could have used like some tickets I could have used with somebody else if that's what you wanted to do so now I didn't get to go and nobody got to use the tickets it was just a waste of time while you chase them tell that you probably don't even talk to anymore today see these are talking to it's like you know you need to choose if you gonna be trying to have a friendship then there's certain things if you make a commitment and a promise you're gonna do something then you need to come through if you're not gonna do that and you just want to change tail didn't go over there and chase it but don't get me involved in it it's just made you try to mess up my world and I'm really not I'm not feeling that at all and that's what you tell him as far as you've been jealous about him and what his ability is the pool I mean what I mean what's he getting you just want quantity I mean you just want some women that would be like chasing after some strange dude in the club that excites you is that what it's all about for you young people you're not looking for no kind of quantity quality you just want sheer numbers and volume like he does he's not trying to be with none of them girls he don't see him as anything valuable he doesn't see himself as anything valuable their lives either so what exactly is it that you're jealous of this is this a bunch of bullshit you trippin you're highly immature so both of you really are just kind of messed up but that would be what I suggest that you do at least have a conversation with him like a grown man find your nuts talk to him about it and then y'all result you know resolve it either you gonna still be friends are you not are you just gonna be you know numb sometime he friends you see them when you see them you're not gonna ever make plans with them know that friends like that I have is bad way up in here oh my god yeah I have friends like that and do you know I just had to put them on ice because you know you you're not gonna flake on me so it's like if I like they will say well you know finally got to this well you know let's do this and this and this together I would say no I'm gonna be doing this over here it would be something I wanted to do I'm gonna be over here so if you want to come through and join me you certainly welcome to but I'm not gonna make any specific plan not with you not no more cuz you just too flaky and stupid for me to be bothered with so if I see you when I see you if you show up there and we'll talk if not didn't you know whatever and that's how I had to handle them and that worked out well for me because I was doing what I want to do what pleased me and then I wasn't you know messing over them and neither was I allowed them to mess over me was the key thing you miss us man went wrong we miss you too we'd be over here talking all kind of smack especially on Tuesdays so you know all right let's move on to question number seven we're on 7 of 15 today if you were just rolling in here and – what the fuck – that you don't miss after show you don't miss half the letters but you gonna be in – in time for the rest of them these are wild these people who they just making some very bad decisions I'm sure there's probably worse to come this is a young lady in the 20 to 25 age group from Montreal my boyfriend are having together two and a half years and I hate his two best friends ah well there's an introduction for you she just like BAM his childhood best friend is a jerk and his eyes been rude to me he insults my personality and talk to me like a child I'm 24 the first time I met him he was sleeping at my boyfriend's house in another room and like most couples do we started quote cuddling hearing us he proceeds to come into our bedroom and make fun of me and I ended up crying over it after me and my boyfriend moved in together he got to the point where I would not come out of my bedroom if he was there because I couldn't deal with being treated so badly when it finally hit me that he was a guest in my house and started sticking up for myself my boyfriend would constantly tell me to leave his friend alone and not to drag it out okay your boyfriend and his friend are lovers see I'm trying to be polite they love each other you're the beard that's what that is they're going on that reaction right there is so abnormal and okay to the two things that's why I'm stopping the letter cuz I don't even really need to read the rest you are in a relationship with calling yourself in a relationship with a man who's in love with another man nowhere in the world does a man into a room with a couple who are getting busy what you call cuddling unless he is jealous of what's happening because it's not that he's likes you because of the way he talks you he's jealous of you being with this boy that he likes that was living there before you moved in that's what you got us you got and that's why he's like he's like a jealous woman you know calling you names and you know being mean to you and rude to you and insulting your personality you say and he's a jerk to you and he talks to you like a child just all the things that you said in the first paragraph and you ended up crying he's making fun of you see that would have been my opportunity to say look you little faggot ass punk what the fuck you doing coming into the room with a man and a woman and it's like you acted like a jealous bitch get the fuck out nobody wants you up in here there's nothing for you here there's nothing for you to see take your happy ass back to the other room and if you don't like thank you for fuck out the house all together because what we doing up in here never had nothing to do with you and so you know that's what I would have said to him it's like and then he would've got upset of course but you know what I wouldn't care and then that would have been a time when you turn and you look at your boyfriend and see if he defends what you said which would be a normal man react yeah man what the fuck you doing man you know my lady's here dude you know what you're doing what you do that's would be like they're not gonna like get to gully with it with their friend but they are gonna check him and they're gonna make sure he understands that what he did was inappropriate but if he sides with the dude over you like your boyfriend did girl I'm not even gonna read the rest of your letter because I already know what time it is you need to break up and move on cuz you in a situation with two dudes who have an admitted they in love with each other yet but it's coming alright so let's move on to question number eight yeah I know I tried bear which I swore at the top of the show I was comforted but you know is there certain situations that just press my buttons and this is one of them I wish a motherfucker would come into the bedroom where I'm with my man what the fuck what you doing ain't shit in here for you get out and it wouldn't just be get out it would have been get the eff out you blankly blank blank blank blank blank blank blank and a whole bunch of other stuff but it come out of my mouth because I know me that's just like with that who does that where they do that at I never heard of no man doing oh shit like that mmm yeah we got 15 questions yeah I'm not dealing well with those no no that would navitat wouldn't it I mean she went on and I don't know you know what else she wrote but that to me that was you know whatever other problems she's having that's the answer right there it all emanates from that the fact that she said the boyfriend checked her for checking his friend and did say nothing would do busted into the room that's all I need to know two paragraphs you know the 18th area she wrote we just let that go let's move on to question number eight this is from a female 26 to 30 from New Jersey I keep hearing stories about men covering for their buddies when they cheat on their wives or girlfriends some know their friends have personal ads or actual side girlfriends while lying to their wife or long-term partner if your partner husband wife girlfriend boyfriend etc supports their best friend cheating on his or her partner and lies to cover them for their friend would you would that make you feel like your partner lacks character or morality would you care what would you do that yeah I would that would make me highly uncomfortable because there's a certain thing called integrity if you don't understand what that means I did a whole video on it here on a channel that talks about how people live and how you present yourself and you can't just talk to talk you have to walk the walk what you do and what you say should match okay now if you saying I love you I'm gonna commit a relationship this and that but you busy covering for your friend who's dipping and dodging and doing stuff that is the opposite of being loyal and true and blue well then you're printing the presenting a mixed message and that's not something there's some integrity missing there and a lot of people don't think like that but I you know I you since you wrote to me and you asked my opinion I'd give it to you that is a mixed message you can't have you know believe in fidelity honesty and true blue love and commitment on stuff while you're steady making supporting loopholes for someone who you know is hurting someone else by lying to them and you're assisting your full participant in that nonsense well they I couldn't stay with a man like that I couldn't do that I couldn't I couldn't be that um that friend you know that just wouldn't work for me now my cousin tried to see me in a setup like that till told me her husband she had told her husband that she was at my house her husband was always very nice to me I mean he worked on my car when I didn't have any money put brakes on he paid for it out of his pocket and did the work you know he always made sure this is after my husband died you know and I was in you know just in a bad space and you know he was one of the people who stepped up to make sure that what I needed was taken care of so I didn't write to me that's family I mean he might have married into it but he showed me that my best interest was important to him and my daughter was important to him just like he is were important to him because I'm his wife's cousin and he's gonna you know make sure that we take care of so I mean I've always respected him for that you know he didn't have to do that but he did so here she comes with her heifer ass oh you know I'ma be down in Oakland and I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that and you know if he calls just tell them that I'm there I said what what what you're talking about so she's like well you know I'm just I'm like okay let me turn I'm not gonna call him and bust you out cuz you know I'm not trying to be in the mix in a marriage like that but I said but let me tell you how this is gonna go if that man calls here to see if you're here I'm gonna tell him the truth because you're not gonna get me to cover for you in life for you I'm not doing that I'm just that's not gonna happen and she was just so upset at me well how come you can't cut myself because I'm like I'm your cousin but I'm a bitch I don't love you that much to where I'm gonna fuck up my relationship with him and what he's done for me and just like throw sand in his face after all that man did for me and my child you are you know the fact that she even fix her lips to ask me that was just some amazing stuff to me and so lucky for her he didn't call and I avoided them before in a while after that because I just felt really I don't know I just felt like I couldn't really look him in the face you know knowing what she was doing I mean I was she just had to told me it just left me out of it altogether they put me in a really bad position and I wouldn't lie to him if he asked me I would have told him the truth but I wasn't gonna volunteer and it just was a weird situation I didn't like it I didn't like being in that position and I was forced into it you know so yeah that's our that's my answer to you question number eight all right let's move on to number nine this is a female nineteen to twenty five out of London damn we getting a lot of like Canada the UK London okay this is interesting all right so I met this guy last month because of my busy schedule we finally got together for the first time last Saturday as we watched a movie together and then talked he held me close okay here we go another Danielle Steel novel list he held me close during the movie as it was a horror movie we met again on Monday at a nearby park we just went on the playground and walked and talked he then tried to lean in for a kiss but I was so shy because I have a crush on him and he's so handsome I couldn't even look him in the face he also kept holding my hands I kept telling him I was scared plus I don't know what we are currently I didn't say this but I don't he wants to be FWB situation shit relationship I just hugged him multiple times when I got home I clarified to him that I was shy he said he understood we didn't plan to meet on Saturday but when I reminded him yesterday he tell me he didn't know if he could be free I just told him to let me know I'm wondering if he took my being too shy to kiss him as rejection he knows I'm a V as well okay first of all how would he know that and you just met him last month and then you finally hooked up and you only had one date with him but he know all about what's going on in your nether regions how did that conversation happen I'm confused that should have never been discussed that's not his business okay you was dude you messed up I can see you need some lessons here with your 19 to 25 year old behind you don't be talking to me in about that kind of stuff you know if they screw you then they gonna know the answer to that you just barely getting to know somebody you telling them all of that what's wrong with you and the rest of you don't be doing that you don't be talking about what's going on between your legs with no motherfucker okay that don't be doing that it's not as business how many you didn't slept with whether you slept with any or none I mean a hundred it's none of his business last night last week last month last year no discussion about that at all with any man okay keep your mouth shut y'all be blabbing too damn much oh my god yeah she told him that I'm like okay and she said we met last month we got together for the first time last Saturday then we went to the movie so they said the dark and watched the square movie and then they went on Monday to a park okay these are not like great fanciful dates these are just you know basic things a little cheap-ass date in the playground at the park what am i six they could what and so um he you know what he was just going after some booty and you wasn't giving it up he was gonna make it too challenging for him so he moved on don't worry that it's nice that he's handsome but that's what he's been using them you know get women so it's great that you shy because now you're not in a situation right and me talking about so nice to me and then we slept together now he won't call me and how you figured you got a relationship for anything or you don't have nothing when you're only been with somebody that was somebody twice what is wrong with you this girl needs to spend some time on this channel obviously she's one of these new people you know they come here I'm glad you came I met you this is where you need to be but you need to listen to some of these videos before you just just mess yourself all cars up because this is ridiculous you know you don't think you don't know nothing about this dude and you have to talk about are we in the FWB a situation shit bar you know what we are you ain't nothing okay cuz you didn't have no you ain't nothing to him he just wanted to have some bedroom action and then it didn't happen and so he left he didn't want to spend no money that's why he went to a tree date at the park and he went to some some little freaking movie I hope he at least got you some popcorn let's move on who these girls these young girls how old is she she in the 19 to 25 age group probably 19 alright let's move on to question number 10 male 19 to 21 from Sarasota Sarasota isn't that in Florida so I've been meeting I've been seeing this girl I met at a college party she doesn't go to my University though something happened the other night that would have been the third time I seen her and I want to run it by you so we were chilling at her house and all that and she said my Adam's apple was odd I told her I was self-conscious about it and we and then we was okay so later on in the night she said that I had a fivehead referring to big forehead oh I say that to people too then she asked if I washed my face which I replied I get showered every days and so not really my skin's not that bad and she replied I think you should the oily these comments did make me feel uncomfortable granted you can see the the five head thing as a joke but I felt like it was a bit much since it's only the third time seeing her do I confront her about it or what it really made me take a step back from her I see I have mixed feelings about this number one was she showing you is that she's got that kind of personality where you know in her group of friends or her family or whatever they talk about people and stuff she's probably a Sagittarius cuz that's how they do they just be shooting people with them little barbs and they don't mean nothing by it not really they're just you know just say what comes down they mind they just comes out their mouth like diarrhea no filter I have too many Sagittarians in my life and they're all like that you know they just say whatever I didn't want time oh my god I was Micah and we in our 20s now I wasn't my cousin we downtown this is my cousin's house I go to all the time love her to death she's like more like a sister than a cousin and she'll go to this lady and the lady had like a rash now we don't know this woman okay we never talked this woman nothing my cousin Cesar and she'd see them bumps on her stuff she walk up to the lady what's going on with she waiting out on the bump on your face and she's looking like peering in a woman's face and stuff and it was it's so innocent it's like you could you know she doesn't mean she just genuinely wants to know right and I'm sitting there just wanting to crawl underneath something to hide and just act like I don't even know who this person is she just happened to walk by and it's unfortunate that you come it looks like me but as seriously was an accident but we sitting there and the lady was just like haha you know but she actually answered her and then my cousin was like oh okay well you should get that taken care of right and so we walk away and I'm like will you stop don't do that to people and put some on the spot well you have the cousins did you see them bumps on her face that she like nasty and she's just going on and on okay so that's why I'm reflecting on that that's how Sagittarians do now um you know but if it bothers you that's the only thing that really counts you have two things that you could do about it right because that's her personality so either you can fire back at her which would mean that you're on her level that you understand what's happening that y'all gonna be you know throwing Barb's at each other in the friendly kind of way or you're going to take offense and you're going to leave her alone so those are only two options personally I probably would have fire back on her and say well I might have a five year but you got some chicken legs up there you said you do not D some feathers in a beacon you just make the cut or something I mean I whatever's going on with her imma take our opportunity you gonna talk about my cuz I do have a five head and I know it but you know what there's a lot of sense up in his head and so my head has to be big because otherwise how would all this information fit you know it has to be big that's all I can say you got one you got lucky shoes I don't know you don't know what the Wooster was look for girlfriend but either I would try not to look at the lady detector too because I didn't want to be grossed out the way Mike is was going on and on about these bumps on this woman so you know I'm just really like I can't look at you stuff so I I just no but yeah that's look those are your two options sir either you you know tell her but be prepared if you tell her you know why you say all that crazy stuff to me she's gonna be like well what you know you can't take it I'm just having fun by blah and wish you case you can tell her that it's not fun to you but then if that's her personality then it just looks like you two aren't really compatible that's what I'm getting so you just should move on from that all right oh wait a minute do I skip some oh yeah yeah this is the part of the question okay question number 11 of 15 this is from a female 30 to 35 from plunk some place called Pembroke my men have been together nearly a year although we met at school 50 years ago and had an obvious connection back then but him being in a relationship and moving to Hong Kong meant that nothing was ever pursued over a year ago he moved back to a city much closer to me but it's still an hour away and a good time after separation from his previous we met up again while he was home visiting family as any relationship we have our ups and downs but I truly believe he is the one he and my son of taking a liking to each other like they are blood they are perfect and he perfectly complements my parenting here we go however dot-dot-dot my mother who I live with and seek separation from my dad is not keen at all she reckons he is disrespectful for putting his hand on my knee in front of friends he is over-the-top and attention seeking she says because he's playful and not shy she has said a lot of hurtful and petty disrespectful things about our relationship next he has taken the leap to buy a place in the same town as me to be close and ultimately for us three to live together my big issue how the hell do I break this to my mom who's totally dependent on me for company and friendship is she unfair and her total shut down when it comes to my partner I know for a fact my son would be over the moon I would have every intention of seeing my mom regularly and letting my son stay with her on a regular basis our mother-daughter friendship is suffering so much at the minute and we are both snappy to each other is me leaving home the push she needs to regain her independence or am i pushing her into a depression I've always been too busy pleasing others while letting myself feel miserable how do I stop you stay too young wait till you know he got the house right when this tiny house is closed and it's time for y'all to move in you start packing your stuff and then your mother's gonna be like what you're doing and you're gonna be like I'm moving in with so-and-so and then she's gonna be like well that's horrible and you're gonna be saying well that's your opinion and I really don't care to hear it so what else you got and then she's gonna be like well you know that makes no sense isn't that Baba what you have to understand is your mother scared okay I don't know if you're connecting all of these dots but you said that she's seeking I did at the same time that this is happening with you she's seeing a separation from your father now you don't say how long they would be married but if you and a 30 to 35 age group it's very cool you know conceivable that they'd bench marry didn't marry for however those many years are plus nine months right so she's gonna be like her first time on her own and she's a mature lady she probably doesn't feel you know that sexy and attractive anymore if you know how she's kept herself up she's a turmoil of emotion she may have a broken heart she's suffering from a lot of disappointment in the fact that her dreams did not you know happily ever after came crashing down she's dealing with a lot so what I would suggest that you recommend for her is some therapy cuz she's gonna need it people don't understand that when you get a divorce it's just like somebody dies it's an entity but it you know you have a lot of hopes and dreams and and things tied up in that and so when it when it fails it's like it's like a death that you have to deal with and not only that you any dreams that you had tied up with that that marriage in that family lifestyle and you know that man is your husband and the dreams you had to be with him when you two were old and awesome okay all of those go up and smoke so you got to recreate all your dreams people I don't think really appreciate what people go through especially if they're the one that didn't want the divorce it's hard so that's what your mom is dealing with so you're gonna have to help her in some way you know maybe sign her up for some meetups for stuff that she likes get her in a class of some senior center or something so she can start socializing with people her own age and have interesting activities like her and you go traveling with some other you know divorced or widowed women there's all kind of options you know where do you live Pembroke I don't even know where that is but every what size the city is or what resources there are sorry student in the dark there but just investigate some stuff for her and then you give her the list and say these are some options that I figured out that might be helpful for you but mom it's time for us you're gonna not be you're gonna be single now I'm gonna go over here and I'm gonna start my life with this man and so I'm you know it's time for me to leave the nest and you're gonna have to figure out what you're gonna do with yourself I'll help you as I can but I'm not gonna be here and I don't want you depending on me to the point where it interferes with what I'm trying to do over here so there's gonna be some barriers and parameters around what I do and where how much time I spend with you it's time for you to find your way by yourself and give her a big hug and then pack your stuff on a moving truck and get the hell out of Dodge that's what you're gonna have to do and it's gonna take a lot of strength for you since you are that kind you're people-pleaser but I'm telling you you better do it are you gonna live the rest of your life enraged that you gave up a dream that you wanted and sacrifice it for her and she's still gonna be miserable anyway because she's not gonna be fighting any dream for herself she's gonna be trying to fuck up yours so you need to really give this some thought I know you know I'm this format does not allow me to go into like super super detail but those are the highlights of what you need to do and you need to get started on it right away so we're out of time your house closes in a few weeks or whenever they do close closings in Pembroke you will be ready okay you have everything in place all right let's move on to question number 12 this is Kristen 12 of 15 what the fuck Tuesday where we do livestream relationship advice people write letters I read them on the air and I respond to them right off the top of my head I hear them when you hear them and so this isn't like a you know rehearsed thing but it's something that I can do because I have 30 years of experience down there well 28 and a half of experience doing this and so there's a lot of information in this giant dome I know my head is big you know what I don't care people used to call me a shuttle big hand I'll say yeah better than having a new head like you got well she's not even married yet so it's nothing to tell she's still single she just met that she's dealing with the guy after their relationship broke up and he went to Hong Kong but he's back and so they hooked back up and they're dating so she's not married it's no reason for her to tell her to get a divorce when she's still single somebody missed part of the letter all right let's move on question number 12 I am a mother of an 8 year old young man and have been dating a guy for the past 5 years he doesn't have children and I'm not really sure if I ever want if he ever wanted them we typically don't fight but when we do if usually have something to do with my son we've been talking about me moving in with him for some time now and the only problem I have is that he doesn't want my son to live with us he would rather him live with his father I don't want that for many reasons I love this man so much and I want him in my life but I'm like the feeling I'd be giving us and a silent ultimatum my mother my mother gut says move on but my heart says find a way to make it work I don't know what to do please help I'll help you all right but you're not gonna like my answer either at 18 that is a grown man okay he's a legal adult now now let's walk through this cuz you sound like one of them kind of mothers did like to suffocate your kids and that she gets on my nerves okay first of all let's make let's figure this out okay you moving in with dude are you moving in just to shack up are you moving in with the goal of y'all getting married you know soon after that I mean you left that part out so I don't know if that's the issue here also let's talk about your son he's an 18 year old young man what 18 years already in college does he have a job is he contributing to his life financially does he pay his cell phone bill he has a car does he buy his gas and make his own car payment what does he do around the house does he do chores does he help contribute with any bills as he helped buy some food what does he do as an 18 year old young man that you say you have to so let me see what else you wrote here do you as your son go to school it seems to the student or did he you know decide he just want to be at home on the couch playing video games and eating a pile of food what's going on with the son that you really just kind of glossed over you conveniently left all that part out and you know that's what makes me ask these questions because historically when women have a son who's together they can't wait to tell me about it oh my son is on the honor roll and he's a straight-a student and you know he plays sports and he does this he does that and I'm so proud of him and yes he's 18 but you know I want to help support his girls in it okay they can't wait to tell me all the wonderful things about their son and all the stuff he did yo do you really say it shit about yours I wasn't in fact he's 18 and you want him to live with you that makes me very suspect that your son is a bum your son is a dusty 18 year old and that's why the man don't want to live with him and let me explain something to you too you know cuz like specially like he's your son like if you two kind of got to be nagged to do stuff or does he do stuff you know because he sees it needs to be done does he do drugs are you a drunkard does he you know just want to sit around play the I mean there's so many possibilities here about what this boy could be and you know none of it is good based on the fact that you didn't really say too much about him that's my main thing that makes me know that I'm right you took just glossed over all of that so what I'm gonna tell you is this call up the daddy cuz see no man even if I his father's not gonna want to support him unless he's contributing that's like a Man Thing you are supposed to be a young man now that means you need to get off your ass and do something okay you either gonna go to school and work part time or you're gonna work full time or if you can't make that happen then you're going to go into the army the Navy the Air Force the Coast Guard or the Marines those are your your five choices you gonna do one of them or you going to school and work part-time or are you gonna work full-time those are your choices and that's the only choices that you get if you're going to stay in this house see but you want to support him and have him treating like a baby uh uh I don't blame dude I wouldn't want to be living with me either just useless waste of damn time I know a lot of people that have these sons you know that's my baby you know this in an embalmer boy he's not a baby no more what was that I was question number 12 god I dropped my papers and I don't know had no page numbers on them oh my god brah okay I think this is right that looks like that flows yeah all right you know yeah Ricky okay it's you know but let me just think about it though Asch think about you guys just reflect on the letters that we've had from parents and just as yourself a fewer parent right and you're talking about your child what is the number one thing that you do if you're proud of your kid you start bragging right you start paying you start telling the people what accomplishments your child has why your child is stellar why your child is so wonderful what makes your child stand apart notice she she don't say nothing about that all she said was he was 18 so she got a dusty bum child that's what that is oh I don't live for mopping my daughter when she was little I did but you know when she got about 13 you know I still protect mode of course I would that's why we moved like it's it that some people earlier you know she was like 11 so you know I moved about of Oakland it was just too many dusty people looking at her all kind of crazy I'm not having it I don't have it be in prison but you know once they get to the point where they you know can get jobs and stuff babysitting all this kind of stuff man you keep a you know watch on them I'm not saying that but you're just your role switches and it becomes that of teacher and not so much you know like caretaker and all this they have to usually step back and let them bump their head sometimes gonna make some stupid decisions while you still there to help them thick teach them how to fix it but by the time your kid is 18 years old you need to know how to cook clean shop do laundry balance a checkbook you know save money in the bank get a job do they resume all the kind of stuff they should have adult skills and they should not be dependent on a mama especially if you have a boy he needs to be a man and that means you get to he needs to be unleashed from your apron strings and get out there and hit it you still holding onto him and treat him like a kid giving him money to go on dates and stuff like that then he just appeal my brother's left when I was 17 I was the only one lagging around there but they was gone they left to go to college and they never came back and so you know that's uh but they you know we're raised to be young man so so let's move on we got two more questions we got 12 questions 13 oh no actually we got three more 13 14 and 13 okay question 13 this is from a male 40 to 45 he's from Chicago oh no I've been with my fiance for four years and we've been living together and engaged for three why you got such a long engagement your answers in your 40s what are you doing okay I'm a 42 year old male and she's a 40 year old female I just caught her in line for a second time this time she said she was at her parents but she was actually helping her ex-boyfriends mother find a new home a year ago I caught her talking to him several times for about 20 minutes she says they didn't talk in awhile and wanted to see how things were she apologized and said it wouldn't happen again to me this seems like low-level BS but I don't need to accept or tolerate it and really have no proof she isn't hiding anything else I'm not gullible but really do believe she isn't cheating on me as a good person we were happy all of which is why I am with her we are married have no kids and I own the house we live in I'd be willing to work through this but it's just something I should break up or break up or take a break over or when is enough enough your time and advice is appreciated oh so your ass never lies nigga for real startup shut up and this is kind of stuff do you know why she said and this is kind of little innocent and not he was nothing's you are just jealous that she was talking to her ex we'll see I'm I don't really want to talk to mine either so I mean but I wouldn't be tripping because somebody else did because I understand that I'm rather unusual that way like I said I'm the one who tried to run my ex over with my car so I'm not trying to have a conversation with that fool it just would not happen so but everybody's not me and especially like sometimes the people's breakup is friendly you know they part ways you know kindly they have mutual friends they families know each other I mean they're going to talk I mean so it just depends on the situation you can't make a blanket statement like you know my ex but they better never talk you know you can't do that life happens okay then the second thing was she was helping her ex boyfriends mother find a new home well she you know why she didn't tell you cuz she knew he was gonna flip the fuck out Thanks get Betty she knew you was gonna flip out just like you doing throwing a little jealous temper tantrum at 42 years of age you know what all you had to do how you could have fixed this and turned this around you don't have no game all you had to do is say babe you know you don't have to hide stuff like that from me you know I'm pretty good at finding housing I could know how to look and make sure you don't have termites and holes in the wall and the Plumbing's good and stuff like that you know and that is pretty safe you know check doors and windows and stuff like that so next time you know if she needs do you know she needs some help and so just tell me I come with y'all okay what did that just do that made you seem like a partner it makes me Luke removed any element that you could be jealous and it gets you in around so you get to see what's happened it what's really going on but under the guise of you know helping which you probably could really do but you wouldn't have to do somebody else could do it but why not be you you said I mean that's game honey you don't Hannah that's why she's writing this bullshit ass letter whining talking about shit I break up over this you dumb if this is what you want to break up for that means that's what you really want to do is break up which is why you've been engaged for three years with your 42 year old crusty dusty ass okay I hope you like that advice because that's how I really feel you're just trippin you need to go on and get married and then stop and some active stupid yeah he is but you know he's just looking for an excuse to run no excuse all right female 21 to 26 this is question number 14 this is the next to last question today I'm glad everybody hung in here to listen to what the fuck Tuesday she's a young woman 21 to 26 from Memphis I'm a 22 year old black female and recent graduate soon I'm going back to pursue my masters and eventually a PhD okay I'm writing to ask what's the appropriate age to enter the dating pool and what qualities I need to be successful wow that's a big question for this format though I'm young I have health complications including PCOS and hyperthyroidism which makes weight loss difficult people around me especially my family male and female are all dusty comment on my weight and desirability I am a solid size 14 and carry myself well I've immersed myself in education however ingesting content on YouTube that privileges femininity and hypergamy makes me to leave I shouldn't waste time in school if I lose weight and don't lead with my accomplishments I'll be successful by finding a man that can provide oh I had a girlfriend with a model physique but was not driven and her feminine allure allowed her to find a man with those qualities later she devotes me that she felt no one valid her opinion and when they did it was because she was pretty also she had some self esteem and she was dealing with that on though my family on the whole values marriage 90% of the relationships are toxic just to maintain financial stability there are so many conflicting messages I'm not sure how to go about love how to go about romance I haven't seen healthy examples of love when I see what's expected of women and the misogyny enforced by both sexes it makes me want to deny my knees forgo relationships altogether cuddle up with my degrees travel or look into lesbian oh you've probably dealt with cases similar to my but I'm a new listener so forgive me if I'm being repetitive oh my us so you've brought up so many issues in such a short letter let me let's start with the health issue the PCOS there's this woman patricia of Krasnow ski or something crawling across something like that anyway she wrote this book about a diet about PCOS and I used to refer to it when I worked as a trainer that's the only reason I remember it and you should look into that I think it spelled k-ras in OWS ki but I'm not positive but it's probably on Amazon it just right Patricia PCOS and there should probably pop up I would recommend that to deal with that you know what else also helps with with weight loss and PCOS is veganism because of all the hormones androgens and stuff that is makes that you know what makes you get a lot of women get up what am I trying to think of endometriosis they have problems with their cycle facial hair growth or Neil gross on other parts of the body you know you want to eliminate as many hormones and and as many stress hormones as possible so you might want to look into that you'll see a dietitian and look into you know adopting a plant-based diet that will really help you to and secondly you're talking about this girlfriend who is a model I mean what's that got to do with you why is that even in the letter that's irrelevant you were talking about content on YouTube that privileges femininity and hypergamy it Fenneman it privileges it from those stupid me and they talk about it do you want one of those types of min if not then why are you listening to that drivel you be who you are be who you want to be and you have you know femininity is already in you you know you don't really need to like try to like pretend to be like this super fashion diva girly girl or something like that I mention women to me that's also effective and fake it's like you know but you can't start something you're not gonna be willing to keep up for the rest of your life I already know I'm a bum when it comes I mean I put on this makeup for the show and you know do my hair occasionally and stuff like that but in general I just like a bomb and I'm just not gonna be trying to be oh is that what it's called it also it does a keto diet I don't know how would all that put their hormones and meat like that she didn't say hypo she said hyper which is different but well I forgot I lost my train of thought now and you have Family Values marriage but it's they're toxic in the snap so that means but you don't want don't want to do is have a relationship like there's you're only 22 and you in Memphis do you understand the big world out there that you're about to see you recently graduates that you're gonna go back and pursue your master's degree that's really good somewhere between the master's and PhD you'll be what about 2425 you need to get your passport working and then to go to some other countries and see how other people live in places that are not niphas tennessee and you will see how Bama and Contra fight the people that you grew up around are as you don't need to be like them you don't need to use them for any kind of example except for what not to do and you know make yourself more cultured and expose yourself to different people and languages and foods and lifestyles and art in music and buildings architecture I mean they're just this world is so big so you know this this what you wrote now is very limiting you're putting limits on yourself at 22 and this is horrible for me to read this you got all these people talking to you all kinds of crazy the main thing you need to do is shut them out okay you don't don't even hear that and stayed through your schooling like you planned get your career and get but don't wait till you get your doctorate to do this go between you know I mean you could even go now if you have some money but you need to start expanding your horizons and meeting different kinds of people so you have a different perspective on this whole thing this is very small this is very little and just you're very constrained and narrow thinking that's in this letter and I don't want you to do that to yourself but yeah that's my suggestion but that laid that PCOS TCOs diet I was telling you about it I've seen it work you know personally right up front face you know with with my clients like hands on and people lose weight easier on the idea in the gym to working out with me as their trainer and then they lose weight and it gets their PCOS under control you know a lot more easier control yeah no it's not that well it depends on how tall she is c14 size 14 if you five nine versus five four five 14 if you forty in totally different so let's move on to question number 15 it's the last one today we're here every Tuesday though so that you know don't feel bad and you know on Fridays we do the dusty news network so if you have seen some dusty stuff that you want to include in the dusty news network so means some posts some graphics somebody made a crazy comment that you want to share make sure you know you have to show not just their comment but the original post that they're commenting on I need both some people are just sending the comments I'm like okay but I had let me connect it to they forgot that part just send it here to surviving dating at gmail.com makes the subject line dusty news dusty news so we'll filter into the folder I have set up for the show and you know just share your your good great great findings for the show we're doing this every Friday night through the summer so we got another six eight weeks of this and then we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming on Tuesdays and Thursdays but right now we're doing the dusty news network so I you know you guys just send it on in there yes D in in I'll bet when Jane heard about the dusty news network yes girl we started doing that about I don't know six weeks ago or so you should check out some of them videos they're hilarious alright last question of the day question number 15 lady from 2125 age group and she did not say where she is from alright okay so our relationship ended over two years ago it wasn't a dramatic breakup or anything like that I would just say that we reached our expiration date yeah there was no hard feelings we still talk every now and then fast forward to present day I've moved on with my life and I'm not attracted to it all to my ex and he brutally honest part I really don't enjoy his company part of the reason why we broke up was because we had nothing to come and our relationship was dull he's a sweet guy don't get me wrong but he should have we should have remained friends a relationship should never ever have happened we hang out once in a while maybe once or twice a year contact is very minimal here's a meeting potatoes of the situation the other day my ex started freaking out about itself his friend recently died from an illness and other friends got diagnosed with cancer and his mom had to go to the hospital just cause my ex to look at his health and freak out he refused to go to the doctors though I honestly think he's overreacting but now he thinks he's next in line to get sick game I don't believe this for a second he confided in me because he's lonely he doesn't get out he down looks down on himself I can empathize because I too have that problem so I made it a point to call a little to see how he was doing and feeling I agree to go over to his house to watch a movie I just want to be a good friend after he confided in me oh did you now yeah I had no game you can't even see when you get played why out of all the people in the world he's all these horrible things happen he gonna reach out to you his ex you don't find that suspicious you don't think why why are you calling me don't you have some friends and family to talk to that never crossed your mind you just come running for joke details and say keep out the closet and put it on and go fly over there and try to be his friend that's what he wanted you to do cuz you done y'all need to stop trying to save everybody you can't save nobody but yourself and you got some old loser bum dude that you can't stay in no way you don't even like his company and you over there trying to be all Nurse Ratched taking care of somebody he made it extremely uncomfortable by squeezing my legs on occasion si would try to make it known that I didn't like that by moving my leg when he would ignore that I left and thanked him for his time okay see I knew it I was right now he's been texting me all throughout the week for weeks he's asking me to hang out at first I would say no back to back but now I won't even respond yet every single day without fail he'll have a full-fledged conversation with himself I'm starting to get annoyed but I don't want to be a jerk how do I tell him to chill out without hurting his feelings how do i word this how can I let him know that I do care about him but he needs to back off I know he's lonely but I can't be the only person he talks to see you got yourself in this trap by not being a bitch by caring about what some loser ex felt and worried about and all this stuff he was talking about I'm the next gets do you know I think I'm the next to get sick I'll admit like I hope you do I hope you die I hope you catch cancer just like your friend click see that's how you get rid of a dusty bomb you don't feed into their stupid and play the game with them run it over there to play video game watch movies and be his friend cuz he's lonely please die loneliness you can but loneliness between two slices of bread and some ketchup and have a good lunch but that don't bother me with it I don't care what you are I don't care what you do I don't care if you lived I breathe eat bathe work nothing I don't care what's that got to do with me so and then he's gonna touch you see that's what you supposed to give a slap the shit out of him and say I can't really watch a movie cuz I was was stupid enough to believe that your behind was lonely and worried but I was dumb and so now I'm gonna leave don't you call me no more your sick pervert you just think you're trying to play get out of here and you left you know he kept doing it right so he kept pushing your boundaries and you just you know you didn't cuss him out and now you still worried about his feelings talking about well you know how do I tell him without hurting his feelings you supposed to find every feeling he ever had and they'd heard of all just lining up like some dominoes and just press the thing and gosh all this in so just like Domino's do falling that's what you're supposed to do and you sitting up there worrying about his feelings since you don't want to text this is what you need to do you don't text them back and you're gonna say fuck you I eat shit and die that's what you're gonna say don't call me anymore don't text me anymore I don't care what goes on with you in your life we're through that's what you do and then you block his number you block him on social media he shouldn't be able to call you a reach you text you nothing be afraid you sitting up there letting all of this stuff happening and then wasting my time right me with this simple bullshit I told you she's not a dust magnet she just stupid you don't have no game if you don't have no game oh my God if you don't have game don't come out here trying to mess with these men you just gonna get yourself steamrolled it's just don't make no damn sense well I don't know where that example came from Lotus but that's just with the image I had in my mind because they used to have these commercials where they had to lose like thousands of dark like 10,000 dominoes behind them and I found that fascinating and the dude we could book and then they were all you know they returned they would go and loops and does and they were all falling in my mind I was like yes that should be his feelings all hitting the deck like that that would be so beautiful I would just love it I would film it I make a youtube video and say look look at my neck nificent video of all the feelings I heard in one tap that would be me but you know a little girl you better get your act together because that situation there could have been dangerous for you you know that could have been very dangerous luckily he's not stupid but don't you dare go take your behind to no man's house like that ever again when you know he's in a situation and you wanna be there by yourself what's wrong with you you don't know kung fu and you don't even have a stun gun over there talking going over to this house what's wrong with jail that's just stupid god damn it yeah just like dumb just like oh my god just putting themselves into situations unnecessarily with some old dusty fool that's running game on you and you don't even see what's happening you just walking into the trap you know my mom's in the hospital what hospital – bitch and I'll go up there and see her oh no no you don't have to do you don't know see they start backpedaling are you a friend I wish where's he buried it when's the funeral y'all gonna be asking them questions and then you guys well let's go to the funeral then so you can say your goodbyes I'll support you why did you grieve and then I but then I got to go to work something like that and so you see how quickly they backpedal and the story's gonna change y'all don't have no game it just makes me sick this is terrible anyway goof man and I didn't even get no wine today I was trying to cut back on my liquor intake but guess what Betty said to me some money so BevMo here I come anyway you guys I know my channel is crazy I understand that I'm just I would never ever try to deny that I'm not gonna pretend otherwise but you know if you want to send your letter if you are brave enough to have your letter read on the air and to hear me like you know check you if you stupid order echt you if you dumb then send your letter in at the top of the YouTube channel you'll see a little button that says get advice it's got a little icon next to it click that and it'll take you to the submission form alternatively you can go down into the show description below scroll down and there'll be something that says you know get advice and then you um you know click that link it's gonna take you to the same form and and then you fill that form out and that's the only way that I take advice questions or do not answer questions on the wall and I do not answer questions by email there's releases in those in that submission form that I need you to electronically sign so that I have the right to do what we just did today okay you know broadcast it change it edit it you know whatever we need to do that release gives us the right to do the legal right to do that so I just I just stopped you know doing it as Ronnie probably would be fine but I don't care I just want the you know that that the electronic signature on all the stuff that goes on on this show that's right hit that like button as you get ready to transition on out of here and be sure to become a subscriber to the channel will be here again on Friday evening for the next dusty News Network show you can you know come on through it's always a good time we get a lot of laughs and honey you're gonna see some wacky wacky crazy stuff thank you guys for showing up thanks my moderators and bad wench to guest the guest mods showed up to data to bring some joy and sunshine lady boss in the house a nerd suit so all y'all thank you very much I'll see you on Friday bye

13 thoughts on “WTF? TUESDAY Dating and Relationship Advice Questions & Answers (7/23/19)

  1. Hey SQUAD🤩🤩😘😘its WTF TUESDAY 🎉🎉 Unbelievable relationship & dating questions answered LIVE ON AIR😤🤯😵🤪😳🤢🤬🤕Comment. share. subscribe & like.💖💖💖SUBMIT your question @ survivingdating.com

  2. I came back to watch and Im cracking up at "WHHATSS WRONG WITH CHUUUUUUUUUUUU, GOD DAMN" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM LITERALLY CRYING TEARS.

  3. That one lady better learn a thing or two from her pretty looking model friend because men value a womans weight and looks and women can't change that about men. The healthier and younger you look the more attractive you are to men.

  4. Last Letter: when she went to his house, that could’ve ended badly! It’s obvious he was trying to get sex from her by trying to play on her heart and sympathy strings smfh. Idk why women always make the mistake of thinking “ oh it won’t happen to me “ or “ he would never rape/hurt me cause he’s my ex” I’m glad she’s okay .

  5. How in the hell is an unemployed nignog going to tell a woman she can’t go out? Not in my world. She needs to leave that bum. Next in line to get sick? he’s thirsty trying to get some tail. I’m at work dying at your commentary near tears.

  6. You're awesome
    Watching with a mate who I thought might appreciate your advice and she agrees the fuck out of it

    Maybe though if a woman says things to her female friends about her bloke that seem normal to her, they'd be able to say isn't that a bit weird/unhealthy? Or at least if she still doesn't realise he's dodgy, if it escalates later on they could remind her of what she said, especially if it was a pattern of behaviour couldn't that be helpful?

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