Why These Black Men Don’t Date Black Women | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network

-Who are you? MICHAEL ANGELO: Michael Angelo.
-OK. Nice to meet you, Michael.
-Nice to meet you. How are you? I’ve been out with black women
or approached a black woman. And before they
even knew me, they said, how many kids you got? How many baby mommas you got? Dating outside my
race, I haven’t had no issues like that at all. -OK, and you are?
-I’m Koro. Koro. I’ve been practicing
abstinence for three years. Three years with no sex. I’m looking for someone
that can respect my views on this, someone
that can love me for me. -And you are?
-Bo. -Bo?
-Yeah. I don’t date black women now
because of past experiences. They like to place their
strong personality on you. And sometimes you
just kind of– you’re just like, stay in
a woman’s place. So do you have any
idea why you’re here? We share some of
the same opinions. About? Why are black women so angry? Was your mother angry? To a certain degree, yes. She had that anger
inside of her. But she made sure that she
didn’t pass it on to me. I see how she handles that. And she gives off that vibe
that I get from women here. But when it came
to me, and how she approached me and taught
me about women, she said, don’t deal with this. That’s interesting. Because as a black
mother, my work was to help my son
understand it so that he would know how to
stand in it with a black woman. Why are you here? My situation’s a little bit
different because I traveled a lot when I was a kid. Very talented, very
gifted musically. So because of that, and when I
came back to my neighborhood, when I was dealing with certain
black women, you’re different. You talk funny. You dress funny. The music you
listen to is funny. I don’t like being–
because I had flip-flops on or had a turtleneck, I’m gay. The problem I’m having is just
because you’re my culture, and you’re black,
you don’t get a pass. All of the women
in my family– I’ve got a side of cousins that
made me feel weird about that. How can anybody make
you feel anything? You get to choose how you feel. You don’t know that
when you’re a kid. It’s a psychological imprint. What does that have
to do with today? Now, with a black woman,
I have this in my mind before I even talk to you. She’s going to think I’m weird. And that bothered me a lot. When I went to
junior high school, I got bussed from Ocean Hill
Brownsville to Flatbush. And they spit on me
and called me a nigger. They spit on me. And I was 13. And these were adults,
not the children. So my point is this. That don’t have nothing
to do with who I am today. [MUSIC PLAYING] What is your experience? A lot of black women, they
don’t want to talk to me. Some of them won’t talk to me.
-Because? Some of them won’t talk
to me because, number one, I’m a God-fearing man. I don’t believe– like right
now I’m practicing abstinence. I’m not having any
sex whatsoever. Why you ain’t in the church? I am in the church. I’m going to talk to you
about the church women. If you don’t have a collar,
they don’t want to talk to you. I’m going to be straight up. But do you know what. the
collar represents, though? I guess it’s purity, or
leadership, or divine. How about power? Yeah. How about power? That’s what it represents. But let me tell you why
I’ve called you here today. I’ve invited you here
because my intention is to dismantle the myth
of the angry black woman. I believe it’s a myth. As a black woman, I
believe it’s a myth. I invited you here
for a mixer tonight, just to be with some women. All kinds of women. All ages of women. We all have a story. We all have an experience. And we all get to choose. Tonight you get to
choose how you’re going to experience these women. But I do also want to
thank you for being here. Thank you for being
a demonstration. Because I know there are
hundreds of thousands of black men, all ages, who
have had these experiences. And I believe. And it’s my intention
for us to heal.

100 thoughts on “Why These Black Men Don’t Date Black Women | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network

  1. Becky's had black men killed throughout American history over nothing and some of you idiots wanna be with that cave beast and not our own women?! I would never trust any black men or women that chose to be with their historical enemy

  2. black women don't want black men,
    white women don't want black men,
    asian women don't want black men,
    black men are like flies, they procreate with as many females as the can,

    then they attack in great numbers.

  3. When I was in kindergarten, a white girl in my class would like to go in the little play houses and kiss each other. When I was eight or nine years old, a teenage white girl kissed me in the mouth While we were playing truth or dare. I am 31 years old now, and ever since then I have been sexually attracted to and preferred non-black women in general. Childhood happenings do shape your future

  4. Something I can say is, the generation of uncles and aunties we have (me being age 21) I am so glad I was not born in their time because the self hate and stereotypes are so deep. Generations after our parents, uncles and aunties are changing, we don’t think the same as they do. And thank goodnes too. Ofcourse in our generations and some ti come, we still have people with this toxic mindset because that is what they grew up around and what they were raised under. Instead of changing for the better and making their past experiences a way of learning, they stay ignorant. THAT is where these future generations make a change. I am sooo thankful for it too.

  5. Of ALLLLL the desperate black women in churches he can’t find 1….there are literally singles ministries of JUST women looking for a husband lol

  6. When is this woman going to start listening to the men….and stop justifying the black woman attitude symdrome…..

  7. Ok my black coworker said the diferece is the white women when mad will hit you over the head with plastic ketxhup bottle the black will hit you wirh glass bottle.

  8. I understand how you get to this point but it's a huge mistake. Whoever hurt you WAS NOT MEANT FOR YOU period. I wish people would grow enough to understand that and have the intelligence to not blame the world for their and 1 or however many peoples mistakes. One of them clearly said he likes weak women not strong women. He'll regret saying that on camera later. I'm a black female that has been through it. I've been beaten, I've been raped, I've been lied on, purposely stalked and preyed on, forcably impregnated only by black males but I don't equate those experiences to EVERY black male. That's the character of the person not a people as a whole🤦 Those experiences dehumanise you and of course make you angry if someone is forcing something bad on you and you can't stop them. We all have to be more sensitive to each other's pain. I still love black men and it took me a while to get here, I just had to learn the right ones to love. I understand Iyanla's hurt, I understand the males hurt, it's just a very sad thing. Also males can't process hurt as well as females so these are the results.

  9. They've got the most beautiful women on earth and some of them don't want them?? Well that'll be more for me I guess lol



  11. I feel like black women are angry and dominate because they have to take one the role of both a man and a woman at the same time more so than any other race does but that’s just my thought

  12. Lol this black woman is wearing a weave. She herself is not comfortable being a black woman herself with her natural hair. This a joke.

  13. White women attitude are different. Ask Michael Jordan, O.J. Simpson, Richard Pryor, Charles Barkley, Todd Bridges, etc. These financially successful brothers dated black women and never looked back

  14. Look, I got love and respect for black men and my people in general, but my dudes, you don't have to bring down a whole group of women to justify your dating preferences. It's ok.
    Tearing each other down isn't a solution either, and no one is better than anyone else.

  15. I need to have a hit and 1 hour our spill about us labeled “Black African American Men” our USA experience and how the system one came to attack us and our seed through who? The Black American woman. All my human problems started at home with my black Babylonian parents

  16. Bo – What woman would allow you to say women should stay in a women's place and still want to be with you? I don't care what race you are….

  17. I don't care anymore honestly, im dating a white guy, I've been attracked to white guys at a young age anyways. Even if black men liked us i still wouldn't date them, that's just my preference i date whoever tf i want. Bye

  18. She is devaluing their life experience. I love black women and dated plenty of black women but my wife is Latina/mixed. This lady can introduce them to as many black women as she likes but these guys may still end up with another type of woman.

  19. Why would a black man ask why are black women angry? Your mother is black, you know the level of hate, stereotypes, and racism black women and men dealt with period!!!!!!! Blacks not understanding each other is a problem, stop letting other cultures use your women against you and learn to understand each other to get along. If America don't understand blacks, then we should understand each other!!!!!!! Change these images of hate.

  20. 1:07 but why should he have to stand in anger with a black woman why cant he just be in a calm loving and nurturing relationship?🤔

  21. When my son was in elementary school the black girls in this school would say he's too dark mind you he's the complexion of Denzel Washington, so that hurt him deeply, so I explained to him that all black giris don't have a color complex issue with black men, he told me he was done with black girls, so he started dating Hispanic and white girls only he's 32 now, hasn't looked back and still doesn't want to date a black woman due to the hurtful and damaging words he endured when he was in 5th grade, I know your past shouldn't Outlast future but words can/do hurt, just as much as sticks and stones. I'm just saying. ✌

  22. My personal preference is not to date, have any relationship or be friends with African American and Black Women!!! When I look at them I see a QUALIFIED SUPREME ENEMY.

  23. These negros are lost. All black women aren't the same. Believe me. I dated all different type of sistas. I mess with a couple white chicks. Nothing special about it. Black women have always been my first choice. That is why I'm married to one.

  24. Its black women out there that dont date black men I am one of them I have never been with an African American man in my life and now I kind of regret it I have tried everything else except my own people and nothing to do with childhood my daddy was the very best I was just always attracted to something different that's all

  25. Why not just say you don’t date ghetto people or aggressive women just because of the color of your skin doesn’t justify how you act that’s straight up bs.

  26. The current reality show with all the insane loud mouth females is absurd. My brothers keep looking you have experienced the wrong kind of women.

  27. She's going to dismantle the myth of the angry black woman after unloading her anger on them.

    I'll bet those guys can't wait to get out of there.

  28. If Black Men could swap out black women for ANY of the women from other communities, the Black community would rise overnight.

  29. I kinda get what these guys are saying. I got treated like crap by black guys and black girls when I was a kid because I was different. “Not black enough” in some ways, and in other ways “too black”. It affected me. It still affects who I choose to date too.
    I get it.

  30. I uploaded a video about my experience on this topic. Warning before you go to link below
    If you're easily offended by uncomfortable truth do not watch my video. My points are water tight and causes a deafining silence among those guilty of what I speak of. Watch @ your own risk .see link below

  31. So that granny told the first guy you should tolerate angry black women.. and the second guy got told don’t let them boss you around ok I get it but I’ve never been told gay for wearing a turtle neck as a white guy

  32. 2:24 yes it does. today your bitter at these men because the don't date in their race And I don't mean do offend

  33. There are also black women who don't date black men… I wish society just stops constantly making black men the bad guy in every situation.

  34. Let's be honest look around at our environment look at our upbringing! All women are not this way just like all men are not deadbeats. If you're one who subscribes to negative stereotypes about men why do you get angry when it comes the other way. ACCOUNTABILITY is the key for ourselves, for our kids, and for the representation of US as a whole! WE all have something to fix most of us have been affected by cycles of miseducation, misinformation, learned behavior etc. WE dislike our unity almost as much as our oppressors. It may not be so but sometimes it gets displayed enough to be televised! Black men lowlifes, pan handers, deadbeats, drug dealers and thugs. Black women loud, obnoxious, thots, money hungry, bossy, attitude, ghetto. This is what they put on tv and social media and if you're reading this and have ever said something negative, listened to a disrespectful song about women and liked it, talked about, slept with someone's partner etc…. ACCOUNTABILITY! WE ALL need to fix this! At least listen to each other make a list and see do we fit some of these descriptions. Be HONEST and if so it starts with YOU not getting mad at someone's opinion of a generalization. YOU can only represent you and for the people you love. Are YOU being the best you can be that's what matter now you should be with someone who is the best they can be. Can't do that without out being 100 percent YOU! WE need to all do better as a collective!

  35. Why do black men complain so much? It's not attractive. I don't see white, Asian, Latin men complaining about their women, I gurantee that not all of them are as nice as these deluded males think.

  36. Homeboy in the overalls looks like he makes moonshine, plays the banjo, and traps fur somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains.

  37. I have a friend who quit dating black women 3 years ago, he started dating Latinas, he told me that he didn't like who he was when he dated black woman. He's so much happier with Latinas

  38. Black people have so much pride it's Racist. Let go of your black card and start acting as an individual not a "Black person" you will be more respected.

  39. i Can Answer why Black Women are Angry. The Black Man has FAILED Since day 1! We Allowed Our People & Women 2 Become ENSLAVED!! Hoooow Can the Blk Woman Respect the Black Man after that & what came along with it?? You Ultimately Can't!!

  40. Black woman's anger is not a myth I have just been a strong black man I am only attracted to black women preferably jet black however in 2019 I find that I don't even want them to know where I live but I only want a black woman now sisters tell me what I'm supposed to do

  41. Correction Afro americans. In Africa women are not put into trying to fit in stress, employment discrimination stress, having to raise kids alone stress… the truth is any race seen as inferior in media and discriminated everywhere even when it comes to
    Money nobody want to approach them and they end up trying to fit in and angry. It’s just a vicious circle. In countries where there are only black people the women are mostly calm and know their place as women. The men take care of them financially too. Ask these men how they would feel having to raise kids and search for a man and be discriminated on the work market. And the angry black woman is a stereotype that is not so real.

  42. Women respect women, for a woman to respect a man its like a invasion like wild animals, black women are busy with other black girls or looking for fabulous white Hollywood women who happen to have blonde hairs stylish, etc.. in rural big areas there are huge stereotypes, and I wish women and other men alike should look beyond the hysterical fakery and stop the bs and engage rather then being thrown in courts and the sharks would obviously feist 👨🏾‍💼

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