The Silent Influencer

okay hello everyone I hope you guys are doing well it has been quite some time since we sat down and chatted I really have refrained from wanting to do any talk throughs because I just feel like my life right now there's been so much going on behind the scenes and so much intense stuff it's just the change that's happening in my life right now is beyond anything I've ever experienced in my life fernette is not a place I feel like to you know go through something like this one of my fears of social medium one thing that I always have struggled with rate from like getting like a hundred views on a video in the minute that people actually started to pay attention to me I was like oh god oh god like you know it was terrifying it's been very difficult for me to kind of get tossed in to this social media life because ultimately that's how I feel like it happened I know so many people always say to me they're like they're like well you have to put up with this because this is what you wanted and it's like no no no no no I started this with that like I hope like you know like it was there was a hope there but I never thought this was gonna happen and so for where I'm at today I'm just like my mind is blown I can't believe it's turned out the way it has like I you just you don't know what something is like until you're in it you don't know any of that is it's like trying a new food you're not gonna know if you like it until you stick it in your mouth and so when it came to me becoming an influencer yeah it looked tasty I wanted the dish and I was like yes I would like some of that please bring me over a little piece and you know I put it in my mouth and it was really sweet in the beginning but then it you know there was there's some beets in there that I had to kind of like get past before I could swallow and that's kind of what my career has been it's been something that I just didn't know what was going to be required of me until I did it and so it's been very unfair for people to criticize my my how I go about my career when they really have no idea I have a really shy person I'm super outgoing and super you know like CRA's Matic and fun and all those great things once I get to know you but like I'm pretty quiet and kind of I think some people might think I'm a bit of a bitch actually when they first meet me because I am so kind of like just I hold myself back I really do get it like a very good sense of people just from like listening to them and like watching them and it sounds so weird but it's just how I interact with people and how I figure out for myself if it's safe to proceed and you know like letting yourself be see and so the hard thing about the Internet is that there's a ton of people on my YouTube that I am more than happy see me see me see me you know like I want to interact with you I want to have deep in-depth conversations with you I am somebody who really likes to learn from other people I am very well aware that I don't know like I need like so much more grow so much more learning so I need to make way more mistakes and I think in conversations real conversations with people that's where growth and your learning happens and where people can really open your eyes to other ways of looking at things and I think that that is how we can grow is that you have to be open to that and and I am so nervous to sit down and have in-depth conversations with an audience in which I can't have the actual conversation with and so I guess a lot of the times it does feel very one-sided in terms of the the communication between myself and everyone who who watches me it's difficult because when you're really putting yourself out there and you're not gay able to gauge how people are reacting how they feel about it they're not able to tell you and what you're able to respond in the moment better express yourself I mean I feel like I'm always tripping over my words and finding the right word that doesn't make something sound the complete wrong way the Internet's a good place to go if you want to see people really spin your words until like the worst possible way at the end of the day I am an influencer I'm gonna be judged as an influencer and people are going to come for me in that regard there's people who try and come for you they try and drag you down they see you make one mistake and they're like aha you you do have to form some kind of I'm not saying persona but you have to bring a certain level of yourself to the camera to be able to handle what it is that gets thrown at you and so that does involve wearing some armor if that means being overly happy when you're like I literally have just been crying in a closet for like two days but I'm gonna go on camera I'm gonna put a smile on my face and I'm gonna be happy because I'm gonna tell you guys that that was the scenario this morning I was crying in that closet over there sobbing my eyes out earlier today and now I'm on camera and you know I'm gonna sit here I'm gonna smile I'm gonna be happy because quite frankly one I don't want to bring that girl to the camera and to that girl's fragile she doesn't need to be judged by everybody else and why she feels the way she feels what she's going through and so the thing is for me to protect that girl who's fragile in there yeah I have to bring a different girl to this you know scenario and protect myself I am genuine through and through but I'm not going to show you by it's the really like the the private ship and then I'm also not always going to share it either so people are like will don't come on and talk about your problems but just talk about makeup it's like it doesn't really matter what I'm talking about there's always gonna be somebody who really wants to spin it into whatever way that they want to spin in for me I'm really trying to lead my life in a positive direction and I can't do that with people trying to drag me down and it's also nerve-racking to put yourself out there No as well because you know that anytime you put yourself out there that there's something that you could say that could be used against you you know I'm growing I'm learning I'm like I said still have so many mistakes to make and it terrifies me to do that on camera and so that's why I've been gone is because throughout the last like six months the stuff that's been going on behind the scene and the stuff that I've been going through and everything I've been learning and they've been such hard lessons and and I just really wanted to just have the space to like learn and grow from that on my own without having anybody judge that journey and so for me I've backed away from YouTube and from talking to my audience because of that yeah I I can't speak to the positivity I feel from everyone the support and just all of the kindness it's been an incredible couple of years in a lot of ways on social media it's definitely made me really connect with such like a broader part of the world like that's the thing for me is I am learning and I've had the opportunity to talk to so many different people from so many different places and and really opened my eyes to what the world has to offer I know that I've been sheltered I know that my my world views are very limited and that I need to grow in that regard and that's what I'm doing and I find it so scary to try and do that kind of work and then be criticized along the way for the little mistakes that you do make because that's the thing it's like nobody's allowed to make a mistake now like you're just not allowed if you make a mistake your career is like good luck it's one of those things that it's so terrifying to put yourself in that position I have so much respect for everybody you know doing what they do because this is not easy and it's it's even harder when you're not allowed to make the mistakes that are kind of required in life to be able to grow it really does leave everybody having to walk on eggshells and they think that's why it's come to this place where it's so dramatic now and everyone's like oh like influencers it's not even about makeup anymore no it's not because everybody else made it not about makeup anymore you know like there's so many people that wanted to pick it apart and twist people's words and make it something it wasn't I feel like that influencers aren't to blame here I feel like what influencers want to do is sit down do some makeup chat with you guys and just be done with it you know like have that amazing interaction share your creativity and like you know enjoy it together we're not putting this stuff out there so then we can have people pick us apart and like feel shitty about ourselves and then ultimately have our careers ruined by some troll who like twisted our words and made us sound like bad people it's been a hard thing to do and I don't really talk about it very often because I never want to sound like I'm complaining because people will turn this into being like oh well you're just being ungrateful again put it in your mouth and see how it takes the thing is there's gonna be things that you didn't expect in there and you might like them and you might not this is everyone's individual journeys through life that they're sharing with their audience and I think there needs to be so much more kindness so much more understanding and just so much more compassion for one another because I'm definitely not seeing that it's like hate braiding hate and it's terrifying I do think that there are so many positives to social media but I think that there is it's very hard to navigate through and keep it positive and I've been so proud of my career thus far that I've been able to keep everything as positive as it has been and that's a huge thank you to all of you but I really am seeing things differently now than I did when I first started because my situation is completely different I mean my life is completely different and so to judge what I did on day one versus what I do today is I feel very harsh because everybody changes and what they want and what they want to do changes and so I've been really kind of frustrated by the comments regarding me not being a real youtuber because I'm only posting quickie tutorials it's like well no YouTube is a place where you can come to express yourself there there are no guidelines to that that's the whole fun of YouTube is that there are no guidelines as to what you can put out there you just get to do what you want to do and so being told that I have to do it a certain way because I'm you know to be a beauty influencer you have to do it this way I don't have to do nothing sometimes very difficult to get the push back on certain things and I'm really like I just need to you can let it blow over sometimes and just do what I want to do but it also always feel this need to express why it is that I'm choosing what to do what I want to do because in hopes that people will just be more understanding because it does really really get frustrating to get messages from close followers and from people who are disappointed that I'm not creating what they initially followed me for and the thing that they have to understand is that I will change I will not the content I create created yesterday won't be the same content as I create tomorrow I am constantly evolving I'm constantly changing I'm growing as a person I'm growing artistically and you know seeing things so differently and so to ask me to stay one way it's just really like it's unfair it's it's it's not gonna happen oh my god I'm so sorry I keep like shifting my fibro is just it's in my knees it's in my hands it's in my feet and it's just been all awful that's been another reason why I haven't been here is because I've been I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about six months ago and it has been very challenging diagnosis to just mentally kind of digest and physically digest because every flare-up is different every just every day is different and I've never quite sure how I'm gonna be feeling I always know that I'm gonna be feeling some level of kind of crappy as as much as that sucks to say but that's life with chronic pain and that's what I've been experiencing and so it's also made it very difficult to be managing so much pain and trying to not appear it it makes me very uncomfortable to be in pain or sick in front of family let alone strangers I've just felt that it was the best to kind of just give myself the time to digest that information and and learn to cope with my you know my new lifestyle and and and just kind of try and adapt and so that's kind of what I've been doing behind the scenes is just trying to adapt to everything and and trying to manage everyone's expectations of me as well because that's ultimately why I kind of wanted to chat is that I just I'm really hoping that I can shed some light and bring some more understanding as to what I'm going through and maybe for those people who feel very harshly about my situation and my not my inability to post the content they want to see in my inability to you know be as active and engaging in all of those things I just I really hope that people believe this video realizing that there's another human on the other side of this camera who is experiencing tremendous change and is doing the best she can and like I said I am very fragile right now I am going through so much more than I could even express to you guys I haven't talked about so much stuff that is going on because it's very personal stuff and I anticipate sharing with you guys whether it's in a book or you know in some form I don't know if it'll be in this form I don't know if my journey involves me talking on camera and I guess that's what I ultimately also wanted to say in this video is that I am so sorry if that disappoints you guys and that you feel that you are let down by the fact that I'm I'm uncomfortable with being on camera speaking because I think some people take it as like whoa like but I just love like talking to you and I and I'm so grateful for all of you that like enjoy and like you know support and and love just hanging out with me because I love you too it caused me a lot of stress to realize as my platforms have grown that well crystal you can't really interact with everybody that follows you and you can't have personal relationships with you know 1.6 million people and as much as I feel like I've definitely gained a relationship as a large sense with my audience because I think what we have is amazing I feel like I have one of the most positive and most amazing platforms and just like everything everything that I have built I am so beyond proud of because I built it with you guys and you guys have created this space for all of us to just enjoy and celebrate creativity and celebrate humanity and mistakes and you know and I just I I really connect it with you guys on such a positive level and I don't want this to diminish that in my saying that I don't want to continue to connect with you by like talking to you is that's not the case it's not that cut and dry it's the Internet I don't have a choice as to who comes on my channel who watches my stuff who you know criticizes me I I can go through I can silence comments I can you know put up those things but you know I just I don't want to if you are pursuing a career in social media you have to also understand that it is something where criticism is going to be a part of your daily life it's going to be something that you will never make everyone happy there are always going to be people who don't agree with things you say or things you do we're not like you or whatever and it's something that you can't control and the only thing you can control is whether or not you allow yourself to be victim of those those situations and for me I have noticed that whenever I put myself out there and I'm really like just being myself and chatting with you guys and it just leaves me in such a vulnerable and anxious state that it's really not beneficial for me whereas when I create my like my little Mike wiki tutorials music for me is everything music has has helped me through so much hard stuff and is continuing to help me thrive and move forward in my life and draw inspiration from it that for me the creation of my content to the music is really like powerful and really like what I live for and so I I really don't want to do anything else and and I know that it's not what a typical YouTube channel looks like and I get that for a beauty influencer but I also think that you know I want to break the mold I just want to be the silent influencer and and inspire people quietly you know like because I don't feel like you need to say a lot to change some things and I feel like every time I open my mouth I feel like I am you know I might be helping to propel some people forward in the way of their thinking but I feel like I'm taking a step back in my own personal thoughts because I start to doubt myself and I start to question myself and I think when I get the criticism on the things that I do say I start to just I I shut down oh my god I'm so sore I gotta stand up for a second oh oh I can't wait to have my studio back as you guys can see it has been very difficult for me to sit down for a long period of time filming talk throughs requires a lot of like because I'm always censoring myself and always like Oh Krystal you said anyways too many times or Oh Krystal you use the wrong term or like I am just so judgmental of myself because I just watch so many other people get criticized as well as I've been criticized so much for so many of those things that it's hard not to like if somebody says oh you say like all the time immediately all of a sudden all you can notice is that you've said like 20 times in one sentence and you're like some of it should I do seem like too much and it's the worst because then it's all you here and it's it's that's what's life on social media is like is that people are going to point out like everything about you whether it's you know something wrong with your skin or something wrong with your body or something wrong with the way you talk or your mouth or and they point out all these things and it becomes hard not to see it you know and it's a very difficult place when you're dealing with mental health and and trying to stay positive and see yourself in a you know in a way in which you can be confident and feel good there's a lot of people who build me up and are like you're so pretty or so this but it's insanely mind-blowing how easy it is for that negative to just like really get in there somewhere different it goes in yeah and it just affects you in a different way whether it affects me in that moment or whether it affects you two weeks from then when you go to sit down and you film and you start saying something and just all of a sudden you have this like weird insecurity that you never had before and you're like wait what the is this and you're like right that person who told me that my bottom teeth are all up they've been up my life they've always been this way and I've just never cared they were a part of me and on social media the way it is it's like you've got a lot of people coming at you for like a lot of the same things and that becomes very difficult to process because as much as you don't want to believe those things when they're coming at you and the same things over and over and over it affects you and it starts to make you question a lot of things social media and business is a really weird thing to combine and I feel like that's why there's been so much turmoil in the whole industry in general is because the industry is built off of a certain level of trust which is more of a friendship than anything and so all of our platforms are built off of us connecting with you guys and so when you combine business with friendship it's always complicated and so with sponsorships things can get really messy and it's just been one of those things where it's been very hard to navigate a business through a friendship and not feel like I'm stepping on anyone's toes and not seem like I'm selling out I recently I just watched Jacqueline Hills video yesterday that she just finally uploaded after disappearing I found it very interesting and I'm not talking about this to cause drama but I found it interesting because I couldn't quite Gateway's coming from or what she was actually feeling in that video I'm usually pretty good at reading people but I think that the problem is in Jacqueline's situation and in most influencers situation is that there's really not anything you can say that can't be used against you and there's not anything that you can say that can't be twisted in a way that you didn't say it and so it becomes very scary to talk to people on social media about anything so as I was watching that I was just watching her just like you know kind of like tiptoeing around the situation she didn't really talk about it but then she's just like kind of diverted into something else with like thanking her audience and and and just expressing her gratitude and and I feel like watching it I mean I definitely I felt like by felt that it wasn't 100% genuine I'm not saying that it's not cause she's genuine but I'm saying that there was something in there that didn't feel genuine because she was bouncing around trying to make everyone happy and nobody can be genuine in that situation you're just not you're trying to be a people pleaser and and that's where I struggle with talking on social media and so I feel like I am a little like a more censored version of myself I'm a sassy little thing and I would love to share that with you all and I feel like into my music videos I get to share that is that I'm sassy and funny I like to turn a bad day into a good day and and these are the things that I've enjoyed and that I feel like really have inspired people the most in what I've done and so it's it's really ultimately where my passion lies i I do think that you know you will see the occasional talk through with me I would love to do more stuff with Justin I want to do more funny stuff like I want to have funny conversation but the problem is about that again is that sitting down and me and Justin having like a funny like conversation as we would with our friends which is why we really want to do is because every time we talk to like groups of people they're like you guys should like go on camera more together like why are you guys doing this and having some like you know really like blunt conversations about stuff and I want to that sounds amazing like I'm so into that I have so many things I want to talk about I could talk all day I'm sure you guys have noticed that I have a lot to say but the problem is is I'm terrified to say it that hasn't gone away I thought it was gonna disappear over time and that I was gonna get more accustomed to the platform and then I was gonna feel better about it but honestly it hasn't gone anywhere I still feel just as anxious and just as vulnerable and just as uncomfortable every time I post a talk through as I did the first one and it's that's never really gone away because I really do care what people think of me and be how I affect other people and so both of those things are very difficult for me to you know those those emotions are hard to manage with the career that I do I this is definitely not goodbye I think that just right now in my life it demands it demands me to be here and to take my time to use my words here because right now me putting any of my words out there are going to make me question the words that I say here and they're gonna make me question my decisions my everything and I just I'm questioning enough myself I think that making the big and hard decisions in life are really scary I'm going through a lot of those right now a lot of scary moments and and the future is uncertain and and so for me I just need to take that time to manage that and keep that to myself for now until I'm on the other side and I can share it in a super positive way and in a way that I'm confident where is if anybody wants to come to try and drag me down that I'm ready for that fight but right now I'm just not ready for the fight I'm fighting way too hard behind the scenes that I just can't put up the fight in front of them and so I hope you guys can understand I love you all so much thank you so much for watching this video it was now that we're coming into the end of it on the Google my voice is shaky but it's it was a tough one to make and I feel like it's gonna be a tough one to edit because you definitely want to be able to convey my message and the best way possible and hope that as many of you understand what it is that I'm trying to say and you know that I'm not really disappointing a lot of you because I'm not I really am NOT trying to I just need to look out for me right now and I really want to just kind of focus on what's next and enjoy what I'm do now and you know plan for all the good stuff that's to come and so I hope you guys will stick with me for that and that you guys all hang out who bear with me and I am I'm hoping that we're gonna be able to have these really in-depth conversations soon and and there's no doubt in my mind that we're not gonna have some fun along the way and so I will see you guys soon I hope you have a fabulous day and yeah I'll talk to you soon

41 thoughts on “The Silent Influencer

  1. You’re awesome. I do love your videos and wish you did talk more, but I totally understand. You do you! That’s what’s most important. NOT the viewer. Take care of yourself, I hope you’re okay and know that you will get through this. Life. Enjoy what you can. The rest will sort itself out. 😘

  2. I love the way you do make up. I just started following you. I actually almost stopped following you because I was bummed I can’t figure out how to do my make up like you because there’s no dialogue on how to. I’m glad you explained. I’m going to try and figure it out still. You do your eyebrows so good. I hope I can get to that point. Good luck in your journey that your going through. Everything we do in life is a chapter that makes us stronger and builds a new part of us. When the new chapter starts and this ones over you will realize why this one was so important to go through. ❤️

  3. I love your videos and have loved watching them for years!! I love how you change your videos and you don’t just sit there and do the same thing ! Do you ! You’re such a beautiful person and I enjoy your channel 😊😊😊

  4. I say this all the time and it definitely applies here “there is no one looking out for your best interest more than yourself”. I have so much respect for your decision to do social media on your terms and not just be a sheep and follow what everyone else does. ❤️❤️.

  5. Love your videos Krystal silent or otherwise need more videos from YouTubers into makeup that have kids and family responsibilities and family commitments I have 5 kids and don't have the guts but do have the knowledge to do it your so brave love your channel x

  6. Just remember, people criticise to feel better about themselves. Love your personality and your videos!!! 😃💜

  7. You are freaking awesome hun! Never let other people’s opinions bring you down! Keep up the fantastic content you create! ❤️😊🙌🏼

  8. You keep doing you girly. You are an inspiration just by being you. Your true supporters will always stick by you and not try and change you into how you should be. 💚everyone has a story, and that’s what makes people beautiful. So whatever you’re going through, you got this.

  9. I love your quick make up videos. They are so unique and fresh.
    Don’t change it just because someone says you should.
    Keep it up girl and I hope you can manage your pain better. Your fight just started.

  10. Do it whatever you want!!! It's your channel, this is your playground, and you must feel comfortable in it, those who critizise you is just because they want to be like you but they can't, you're beautiful and I love your videos the way they are, I really enjoy watching you doing your job while I listen to the cool music you play during your incredible transformations… you rock!!

  11. I love that you always try to bring something positive about everything. And that you always give more than just makeup as you just said. That's why I never get bored with what you present to us (i don't watch a lot that at first I liked cause they do the same always). Keep the positive, keep the good vibes. Big hug to you all!

  12. I think one of the biggest issues that has come up on social media are clear boundaries and basic respect. I think that at first, when the following is small influencers are able to be close and then as it grows it becomes too much and then boundaries are overstepped. I think as influencers, there need to be clear lines drawn that defines what consumers can expect from the platform. And subscribers need to RESPECT THE BOUNDARIES. These clearly drawn lines do not deserved to be crossed. I think we forget that this is a career and if you wouldn’t spill your life to your coworkers, then we shouldn’t expect influencers to do the same with us! The beauty community needs a lot of reform and both sides desperately need to work together to get this shit back in check!!

  13. Regardless of what anyone thinks, I hope you stay true to you! You’re beautiful inside and out; and I hope you find a way to “shut out the noise” from all those who criticize. You’re in my top two favorite influencers to watch and every time I get a notification of a new video it’s like Christmas morning. I immediately stop what I’m doing and watch. I wish you the best and will be praying for your journey. 🙏🏻💙Xoxo 😘 2L

  14. The most important thing is to look after yourself and your family. I know what it's like to have fibro, I was diagnosed 2 years ago and is hard to cope with the pain. Stay true to you. Sending healing thoughts. Xx

  15. The internet is a suppressive place. I don't think viewers like to see influencers grow and change, people want to see them stay in the same mental space as when they were "discovered." Growth and change just isn't celebrated in the influencer culture. It's a sad truth and in part explains why the word "influencer" is synonymous with "anxiety and depression." Your approach is smart and self-preserving which, who can blame you!?

  16. I’ll stick it out! Take as much time as you need. Autoimmune diseases are tough. Crohn’s Disease causes so many other health issues that I thought my symptoms were fibromyalgia (on top of Crohn’s) , but for now they say all the aches, pains, and fatigue are from my Crohn’s, so I know what you’re going through. I love your transparency. It’s hard putting yourself out there on any social media platform. My husband & I have so many haters too with what we do in the fitness and health space, but so many more that love what we do, so please just try to focus on those that love you. I love All your content whether long, short, silent, or loud. Just continue doing you. 💕

  17. I love your videos and I too have fibromyalgia and it is very difficult and everything u put in your video is true

  18. My favorite quote from the movie Bachelorette: "Fuck everyone!"
    You are just a human, so thank you for being the authentic person, woman, mama bear that you are.
    I love watching you, and whatever support you need, you have from this girl!🙋‍♀️🧡

  19. I absolutely love your videos I get bored after at least 20 mins talking from my life I don’t really have time to watch videos like that so yours are awesome!

  20. I love your short, quiet vids. I learn a lot, w/out all the chit-chat. Short, sweet and bam. Please keep that format. ✌

  21. I do love your quickie tutorial. Short, but so informative/easily to follow tutorial. Do what is best for you babe. Don’t let those negative comments put you down. I love your honesty and you’re definitely one of the down to earth influencer. You’re so approachable. Stay as you are and hope you feel better soon. More blessings to come. Xoxo

  22. YOU GO GIRL!! I’m so happy to see how much you have grown. ALWAYS put yourself FIRST, ALWAYS! ♥️ You inspire me so much to grow personally, to always do what’s best for me. I constantly battle with anxiety, and overthinking and pleasing everyone else but me, and THAT IS NOT FAIR FOR US! Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, happy, whatever brings your family together, enjoy your husband and your handsome boys because YOU DESERVE IT GIRL!! Much love Krystal, and I’ll wait for you to comeback whenever you are ready!♥️♥️
    Much love from El Salvador ♥️🇸🇻

  23. From little 12 year old kids running around to 30's us. I have always looked up to you! You have always been a very genuine caring person.

  24. I love all of the videos. I am sorry you are going through this. Negativity is easier to believe but I want you to know that all of your true blue fans truly do love anything you can send us and anyone else being rude and hurtful are toxic and are unhappy people themselves. You are stronger than all of those toxic people. By posting this video proves that fact. Stay strong Krystal and I am sorry you are dealing with Fibromyalgia so young. Stay strong sweetie and sending love to you. 🥰🥰🥰

  25. I love this video Krystal. You’re amazing.
    I was reading something when I was really struggling with mental health and it was something like… after one negative experience it takes 20 positive ones to over come that one single negative experience. It’s a really hard life. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be an influencer such as yourself with the mass amounts of negativity in this place. You’re strong. You’re beautiful. You’re an amazing person. I love you. We love you. Justin and the boys love you. I personally support you with any decision you make to heal yourself and be where you want to be. You’re heart and soul are important and you deserve to be at peace whatever that may take. ❤️

  26. I’ve loved your videos since I first saw you a few years ago on Facebook ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  27. Lets say u have 5million followers. Only 10% are ur haters. But u still have 90% followers that love u. So, u just do u. Haters gonna hate even if you are kind. Let them be, when they are tired they will stop. For now, take a break for awhile and heal yourself physically and mentally. Stay strong and focus in getting better. The rest, leave it to God. Always remember, whats is meant to be will be. Nothing or nobody gonna change that. Take care my dear. Hugs… xoxo ❤🧡💛 –
    Your new follower from singapore. Hehe 🥰

  28. I love how fun you are! I am a mom too and I just love seeing glimpses of you with your family. That being said I want to say thank you for being genuine and saying why you need some space and privacy. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be so in the spotlight all the time where one word you said could wreck your entire week. I absolutely admire you for continuing to post videos even while you’re dealing with the crap life is throwing at you. Praying for you as you walk through whatever it is you are walking through personally and as a family. Much love ❤️

  29. I don't know if I missed something or what but I've never seen you do anything but awesome content and stuff that definitely does NOT warrant you being criticized or dragged across the coals. I love you and your content. You are so sweet and genuine. Girl I know it's hard but try not to listen to the negativity. I know its everywhere and hard to escape but your content is so freeing and relaxing that I just enjoy everything you put out. Don't stop being you. And do the things you're comfortable with. Please don't stress yourself out for content. Your quickie tutorials are just as fantastic as your other style of content. You're unique and a diamond amidst a ton of coal. ❤❤❤ I'm sorry to hear about the fibro diagnosis. I have chronic pain too and I'm also a mother of 4…hang in there. Sending you lots of love. 😘❤

  30. I love how genuine and down to earth you are, and if you have true friends/fans they will understand you making changes to take care of u! I'd rather not see as much of you for a while and know that ur taking care of you then to see u unhappy or upset like at some points in this video coz it made me sad! I hope u feel better soon and kick ass Krystal can make an appearance when shes ready! 🧡

  31. Don't be afraid to put your health, physical and mental, first Mama. I appreciate whatever style video you are able/willing to put the work into. And honestly, your quickie videos are perfect for my lifestyle because I have 4 kids that I homeschool, so they are always at home with me, and I don't have 20 minutes to sit down and watch a talk through. You're beautiful, and I am praying for you and your family!

  32. You go do what you need to do, it's sad that people need to be negative and mean to feel good about themselves and dragging you ( and others) down in it. I'm going to miss you and I love your content in your clips both on here and IG. It's nice to hear about your life and thoughts, to know that you are not alone in this world with feeling like you do. I hope you recover soon and be the happy person that you are. I will be here waiting for you. 😊 😍

  33. As a 17y/o with fibro, this was inspiring. Oddly enough, i bought a new palette today to play with. Fingers crossed I'll be up to playing w it tomorrow. ❣️ Thank you for speaking up and speaking out. You are amazing.

  34. It's so sad that you can't be you because there's so many judgmental people and think they have every right to tell you how to live your life because you're doing it wrong and they're so right. You shouldn't have to feel the need to explain yourself just because you think different and do things different. Time to make a change and not let ALL THESE JUDGMENTAL people dictate your life especially in your career! They don't like they can move on…THANK U, NEXT!!! You're super amazing in every aspect especially because I Think you know the definition of "HUMBLE" Keep on shining.

  35. I have been following your videos for some time now and I've enjoyed watching your style grow and evolve. As a fellow fibromyalgia fighter, I have so much admiration for your strength. Not only are you juggling being a mom and a wife, you're also handling a very public career and its unexpected success…all while learning to live with the new normal of chronic pain. I could not do what you are doing.

    Please ignore the haters and the trolls. Keep making content that YOU are comfortable with. While I like hearing the more personal updates, I know firsthand how hard it is to show strangers that vulnerability. So just keep being you and keep making your art. The true fans and supporters will stick around and have your back.

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