The Difference between ENFP and ENFJ (w/ Nate Rasa)

hello everyone today I'm here with ENFP mate and for those of you who do not know I am an ENFJ and today we're going to be discussing once and for all the thing that the crowd has been just clamoring for the real difference between the ENFP and the ENFJ those things probably they're probably all of you are already big fans of his podcast which I think below if you're not already a big fan that what are you doing with your life I don't even know you guys seriously the podcast I just can't even with myself right now is the mood we just like I just can't even with this but the topic is absolutely amazing I don't know I'm super I'm super thrilled that we get to have this it's finally what is this an ENFJ versus ENFP and on a serious note his his podcast episodes are about the specifically the ones that go into the cognitive functions I think that you add like sort of a fresh insight in a way that still very much fits with the definition of like that curl young initially came about like using the terms of life objective for the extroverted functions and subjective for the introverted functions so but yeah a lot of the stuff in your podcast episodes about the the functions I find myself still thinking about and then wanted to talk about in my videos so definitely subscribe anyway so Nate as the P that he is wrote notes for this episode I did actually write now I don't know I'm flashing over the camera right here I actually before I forget with the with the podcast actually a lot of lips to quickly add as well it's actually very just much as an any user which is one thing I don't know people are gonna be prepared for that or be prepared for at the same time um I do focus a little bit on there's a I'm kind of transition from MBTI to socionics but I appreciate what you said about the whole connection to Jungian theory and everything because I see when I was when you showed me a bunch of his a bunch of the definitions back then to do I actually did relate to some of it is still like it's so very much relevant to today so for that end yeah let's let's kick it in I just want to add that before I forget yeah yeah and I guess before we even go into this I just want to say for those of you who haven't already seen we did do a video together before so I'll link that and also I did a video with Michelle Wilson shout out if you're watching who's an ENFP and we talked a little bit in that video about the difference between nfj and NFP create a process so sort of throwback to something I mentioned in that episode was sort of how any users tend to have all the ideas right and like really you can gather any eye any possible idea that we can talk about like and so that's pretty much what you did when you jot it down all these notes but you you used an e so try and get out of your brain oh I thought Jays were organized and I thought that peas were on the cuff right because extraverted intuition it's like okay you're gonna gather all of these ideas I don't know which one we're gonna talk about I just know that you have them right and Michael on yeah for me I don't really work this way I don't really do this I don't really need a big brainstorm session before we go into it if it's something that I know well I just trust that my ni is gonna just say the right thing no I agree it's another big thing that with I think it's I want to bring up to how awesome it is that it's you and I that's gonna have this discussion because I remember vaguely you told us that you actually test a lot as a P like during off I think you might think economy test like you always yeah porky whereas for me I always scored TJ always like I've never had it like it's barely like a 1% or maybe can be a little generous like five percent where I've been an INTP or result for the test day but I'm almost always like es EJ ENTJ like int J and I'm just gonna like what you know what's really interesting is that on like big five tests if you ever take one that goes into all the different facets like conscientiousness for me the facets that are about like how by-the-book are you how strict to a schedule are you I'm saying absolutely not but then when it asks like how goal-oriented are you do you follow through on what you say yes absolutely so it's interesting cuz whenever you break it down into the facets it's very clear that I'm very conscientious in this way and I'm very not conscientious in this way and I think that a lot of the dichotomy tests are sort of influenced by the big five I'm pretty sure sixteen personalities like is it explicitly influenced by the big five like and so a lot of the questions for J and P I personally think they don't really align with and I'm as much a lot of them seem very si but yeah I don't know I agree it's funny that you mentioned the conscientiousness thing because I would be your opposite actually schedule yeah routine because I suck at it but at the same time because I suck at it I know I need to work on it and that's where I thrive when I put that as a priority um I don't know people have mentioned it as like taking care of your si needs first which is kind of how I've done with a lot of things for example like there's my little notes thing here like I we have a lot of ideas with I'm just never gonna stop having all these ideas we're still gonna be mobile with everything around us anyway but at the end of the day I can make a difference unless I do something about those and I have to hone in and like around them but I don't ground them via and I like I don't like focus on one and like figure out how it somehow connects with everything it becomes this whole singularity masterpiece it's still a mess but at least it's a process that's more or less more organized and chunked for me to digest because I don't digest all so yeah actually before we go into some of your notes would you mind if I sort of define the functions briefly or like just reminded everyone what these things are I don't mind at all yeah just in case you didn't know so the ENFJ which by the way if you want to be typed by me that is linked below which okay I I'm not like trying to discount socionics or myers-briggs like when saying this because this is just whatever but I personally and the system or like the definitions that I created I call ENFJ the ideologists and I call ENFP the imaginator which is not a real word but seem to fit I'll take it any day take anything other than inspire like what is me and aegis is imagination it is what could be you know it is looking at something and almost shutting your eyes to the physical reality and imagining a new one but anyway so for those who don't know extraverted feeling oh wait so ENFJ their dominant function is extraverted feeling which is objective values and ethical statements and then their second function is introverted intuition which is subjective abstract concepts these are just like quick ways to remember it I know a lot of you listening probably already know what these functions are or have looked them up so with extraverted feeling an introverted intuition that is completely opposite to how for the ENFP it is extraverted intuition which is objective abstract concepts and then interpretive feeling which is subjective value and ethical statements so those are just sort of quick definitions that I use that's based on you know Carl Jung and socionics in my race but it'll have the that links below as well like the function stacks that we're talking about in this episode because I guess I'm sort of realizing now that there's probably gonna be a lot of people here that found this video and they just tested and they aren't sure like which one so I yeah sorry for confusing you and going into a bunch of other stuff I do want to add though based on you know the understanding of like the system's the personalities I was actually something interesting to point out that no matter what system you're using the way or this our video or this video is gonna turn out is that even let's say even if we're talking MBTI and I like you're coming from yet like I say the Jungian and then I'm coming from like in like influence from socionics de still there's still a main difference between ENFP and enfj like no matter what system you're using it shouldn't have to be this hard to figure out which one is which but it is I personally think that with uh tests that test based on the dichotomy it is gonna be so much easier to miss type as one of the other and I have met so many enfjs in my life that were friends of mine and I know for a fact they were eating up J's because of how we interacted and also how they viewed my best friend who's an ENFP how they reacted to me versus her it's very clear that swear to God that they're an appease but there are the people that they just took the sixteen personality test ones and then they just didn't look at it ever again mmm and yeah I don't think that myers-briggs it's wrong and I don't think that some of these websites or influencers that are sharing things based on the dichotomies are wrong but I do think that when you were just testing is the is gonna be so much easier to test incorrectly compared to like in socionics like the e IE vs d IE right yeah the the actual reading the socionics descriptions these are like completely different people and you really see that in socionics i have to add to that because like I manage a server myself and like I've noticed but I also noticed that people actually have make the mistake of like relying too much on descriptions so like they let's say you look at a profile of an IEE or you see a profile of an IE and you read it and you start assuming hey so this is what they do therefore I must be doing that too that's like the fundamental basic mistake people make is when you try to fit yourself into the profile you need to really understand first a foundation and of the type as well as the functions before you actually go forth and start relating to anything typing by relating to anything really is it's already kind of a basic mistake that you should avoid at all costs because anybody can do anything but it's how you do it and why you do it and when you actually look at the cognitive functions that you're using in the order of it it makes it super clear like what is driving you and no one has a monopoly on any of these like behaviors yes very possible capable of doing all those things there are so many things that I relate to about enfps and like that you know things we have in common or things I have in common with other enfps or the it's like we us being similar it's like yeah extroverts we're too ative we're feelers and you're gonna see that you're gonna see that similarity yeah we're also like what passionate idea people yeah like that's still a thing like in enf like let's say you didn't even factor the J or the P like we're still actually gonna be focused on the big idea yeah regardless yeah yeah and I think the dangerous thing about a lot of the misc types that happen with stuff that and I know Nate and I both care about this because we talked about this is that when there starts to be advice geared toward a certain type and people are mistyped it might not actually be the best advice for them like if an ENFP thinks they're an ENFJ or vice versa like good path to growth is gonna be opposite and so we might end up looking like each other but what I found especially with these two types is that an a behavior that might be really harmful and detrimental to one type might actually be really challenging and help someone grow the other on the other end oh I agree because it's like probably Matt it would be troublesome basically like let's say you're an ENFP but you're actually an ENFJ or something like that throw that you know idea out for a second there the advice that could be applied to you if you were actually cut correctly it would be a lot more beneficial and a lot more applicable for your life I mean you know jeans are normally more practical by nature anyway so to be told you advice it's probably the opposite help you like you're actually gonna be less geared towards your personal growth than anything else which kind of sucks because the whole point of these how I believe what type is and how type should be is to gear you towards what you know be aware of the flaws yeah like for example like my best friend crystal you guys might know her in my synchronic Saturday's podcast she told me once like I was busy like on my crying about what people think about me or something and she just looked at me and she was like Megan you never need to worry about being too bitchy it's just not gonna happen for you you just aren't that sort of person she's like if you just let yourself be a little bit of a bitch or whatever you're afraid of looking like just a little bit I guarantee you you're gonna be a lot happier and people are gonna like you a lot more like I sort of realized like that's because for me extra printer feeling not that extraverted feeling can't be bitchy but like the way that I'm so overinflated and so de tat or so attached to this sort of persona amazing neglect introverted thinking it makes me neglect my personal discernment and it makes me put everyone's opinions above my own cuz I want to be nice and all that and I'm so afraid of not being that it's like I have to pull a little bit off of that just to regain normalcy and if you were to tell like an ENFP to meet your own needs is that really gonna help you look like in the same way no coming from a selfish person such as myself I'm already my own already taking care of that I'm already fixated on it it's funny because like with me my growth actually was to learn how to be more considerate learn how to listen learn how to like be quiet and met the ideas flow out of someone else this time and it was kind of funny because I didn't realize how important that was because my for me like the goal of an unipi is just you know just become like an idea kind of amalgamation of everything but we can't do that if we're only the ones talking like it's a growth thing where we actually have to have a conversation I got a stop and you know let you talk and let me talk then we can actually get what we really want which is the growth the idea the things that were charged by MFP seem to really like to use people as sort of just like whiteboards or like just what's the term just like oh I can I just bounce off of you for a little like it's almost like you don't even care if the person's gonna respond you're just like I have to apologize like I is a more like a disclaimer before I do this to like I usually do it to introverts a lot because it's so much more fun but but like I like them to the process whatever I throw at them and they give it back to me the way I need it in need is really important in that term because I actually do need it to live like I needed to get energy if I don't get it I get like I guess my mood excuse me like it's lower gets I get a more unhappy or something so I know how it comes off to other people like it could be a little weird like a stay for a little bit uncomfortable just being asking number stuff but like the whole point of it is being able to just pull an idea from a person you need to react therefore I need these people so yeah and I mean there's nothing wrong with doing that it's just super different than how the energy would just ask but then like you asked and then you think afterwards because you your energy is directed inwards you know like it's yeah yeah every time that I've sort of wanted to vent about myself I either was look wanting a response or if I could tell that I was rambling I'll probably just be like oh my gosh I'm so sorry I'm rambling you're like or I would say I just need to vent like I would need to say that out loud like my intention odd you know then you know okay on the other hand I have been trying out moping and sitting in my feelings which is not good advice probably for an ENFP necessarily but I think if you were an ENFJ I might recommend moping just try it once just just see how it feels and hey if you are an Enoch J watching this moping is not the same thing as worrying and overthinking don't do that you don't need any more of that you can mope and sort of mourn try it yeah just try it consider that act like the behavior like the moping concept is that because it's like sort of too vulnerable to kind of a waste of time there we go yeah it's the FI ignoring and socionics it's like why would I why would I bother doing this which is um I have to say it's actually kind of funny because um like it's already hard enough for me to like focus on the dark side but sometimes I actually have to self-induce moping for me oh well then I could actually be fine cuz like for us uh to get back on our state of stability because we're usually in within us we tend to be kind of emotionally chaotic for us to get a get rid of that uh we only have a finite amount of feelings we can actually take like I usually like to tell people I don't have enough empathy for everybody it's it's very I have to very process it have to be picky or else I will just burn out so sometimes if if I'm taking too much chaos and emotional chaos that is it's costly it costs me my energy so I need to cry it out first or something to get back on my own my middle and then I'm fine again afterwards but if I marry fi it's like so much problems if I don't do that that's very if I and crystal calls it like she says I'm emotionally constipated I really like fi gets like that no we just need proper plumbing don't really have the way like F EE is easy in this case like for you guys like it's just when you guys feel it you say it and then it's done you know out of sight by and get it out of you but for us it's like Fester's Oh another big baggy oh but I just by kind of by a side effect of our being like festering inside we have a tendency as enfps to hold on to grudges more but I never I don't think I've ever met an ENFJ who actually holds on to grudges like I don't think you guys even do that I would like maybe to but you're just kind of like well you're like processivity I and then yours you know I don't I don't but you know what might be related to Effie in this is that um every time I make a decision I ask myself how I'm gonna feel later and I'm always making the decision it's gonna make me feel the best later and so I'm pretty much always making decisions I know I'm not gonna regret so I don't know if that has something to do with it or like I don't know I'm sure I'm sure I'm sure and if J's I'm sure some end of Jays for Greg things because that'd be crazy but in general we don't like to look back and we can make a general assessment up if taking this action or this action is going to yield a better result as opposed to like how do i what do I feel like doing right now it's more um it's more like for example like I I have like a client that I'm doing social media for and I set a meeting with her and then right after that my sister was like hey you and your cousin like we're doing an impromptu we're doing like an impromptu trip to Six Flags this day yes I realize I already set that meeting when I was like trying to think about what I wanted to do and I realized that I had to just face my fear and ask if I could reschedule the meeting because I knew that I would regret not going like to Six Flags even though my f I sort of fear in the moment was if she was gonna be mad at me or if I was gonna disappoint my client or look something like that but it didn't up happening that they just picked another day anyway so I didn't even have to change anyway but like I was thinking about it in this way where I was like well I can't I would be I would feel terrible FOMO if I was not there like that's just the bottom line I just like say like it's that idea of implication that is so present in enfjs like you guys what do you mean well I feel like you guys know that your words have power that your that your words have an effect on people and the thing is it's not that you yourself like as a person as a concept has this awesome was like a one-sided thing it works both ways you guys are all so reactive to how people choose their words as well towards you yeah well it's still a both let's it's still like a two-way streets have a situation where as for E&M fees like we actually don't really care for the implication of the words sometimes for us we care about the result if that makes sense like even if we're peas we still are gonna say things we don't really think it through cuz we need to just get it out of our mouths right away so we'll always say maybe the wrong thing but our intentions will always be right but it will never really come out as accurate as we would want it to be so it becomes less of like and I think I've I don't know if other enemies will relate to this or probably would or if not hello you know wake up call you need to think about the implication of your words because if you don't say it the right way to a person you can literally it could make or break a fight like let's say you're in a relationship it could make a break like a situation because a person could perceive what you said incorrectly because your intention wasn't mixed with your words you just loosely said it and I know either yeah you don't do that like they sound powerful with their words because they know what they're saying they don't come they don't express the words first it's thought first and then words yeah ESPYs can sometimes get a little unapologetic if you call them out on that because then they'll be like but I had a good intention like didn't you like but I didn't mean it yeah okay but you still heard a person you still cause a friction in the fabric of space and time you gotta do something yeah normally I I just forgive them because I know they didn't mean to nice I'm so much hardier my fellow FPS like I I really am they need we need to get on that track right away I feel like fj's will eventually just loosen up but I feel like the fbiís need to tighten up and we don't so yeah I definitely need to loosen up and see that's the thing is like even though I would test as being p.m. hmm I think a lot of that she was like I'm very high in openness on the big five and like I don't know if they mix that or not but like a lot of it is like would you rather be adaptable or go by the book and I'm like adaptable like you really don't have a choice and so I think that in those questions they aren't hinting at if you're using any or ni like it's it's just inaccurate in my opinion mm-hmm but like um if I really think about it I'm very high-strung like I'm very high-strung and I'm very serious about everything I do I think even though I'm playful yeah I'm like fine sometimes I'm also just very like highly tightly-wound I don't know how to explain that because yeah because I feel like you know Jays with medomak mattefy you guys are actually all been like your hearts are more open Leigh Allen to understand with you know like NFP is just in general like we're actually way more discriminatory then we actually lay it let ourselves out here like like we actually are way more picky and I think people mistake and yes the ultimate open-minded function sure but we're also very obstinate like we're very stubborn we don't like listening to other people it's like one of our major things we actually have to fix when we're younger because if you don't it doesn't work out for us like it actually hinders our growth so when I see like when I hear like the whole you're actually a more open-minded you're more open and adaptable whatever like that's actually very much true um it's funny because like I guess for us and if P is like when things go down and things get stressful we don't push ourselves we'd rather kind of retreat into our abstract world that we live in and I don't nmds I'll do that at least enfjs don't yeah like we literally kind of retreat and you're like yeah like it I prefer this is remain an idea I'm happy that it was I'm afraid to go if it gets anything else an intense reaction to you saying I prefer remain an idea I don't want anything to remain an idea if it's a good idea it should happen and I will make it happen yeah well I don't know if it's so much as we have a difficulty knowing which is a good idea or not we just spin because we know we're not picky by ideas we're picky by like our feelings well do you relate to the feeling of an appease being afraid to commit to one idea over another is that relate to how you feel actually yes it's hard to commit to an idea because there's more and yeah not convergent in nature at all like we're divergent right so it's like we're gonna always be man that's a lot of really stupid English appearance that we are always going to seek out more like one idea isn't enough we don't look at it as honing in focus on anything our focus is always to zoom out we can't really like we don't process it that way the only way we're gonna process anything to manifest onto reality has to be the our next extroverted function which is te which isn't even se which is already kind of sucky cuz s he's probably gonna be already has like a good handle on yeah ideas – oh um for me to add actually quickly on that like remember how we've we've tried to like to spell stereotypes on the SBS where there doesn't make them stupid it just they're more Pro like they're more attuned to the physicality of surroundings but people don't really understand what that actually means the thing is is and I've spoken to is fps and ES TVs and everything they're actually very eager to hear abstract ideas but like you said with you as having se also as an eval you stack you also value an idea what it like when you can actually make it happen um it's like the major difference between like any and se if like yeah these are gonna use it they're only gonna listen to it if they can actually use that idea and these are like relaxed about it it's just an idea also se Dom's like they will act on an idea even if it's not fully formed that way that n J's NJ's will want the idea to be fully formed and then we make it happen like I likes it on a business idea for two years and then I do it or something like ESPYs they're like that sounds like a cool idea let's go for it and they know that they're going to learn through the experience like they actually learn for the experience and if it doesn't work who cares there's more ideas where that came from like similar to how you as an EP like you're afraid to commit to one because there's more well se Dom's aren't afraid to go for it because if they fail there's more like it's a similar idea but their actions super difference oh yeah I it's funny because the only thing I would say I relate to you with users is our love of chaos but at the same time like everything else is very different I actually don't even see myself relating at all to es FPS other than the fact that we share like our middle two functions like our fi and I are te but still like there's such an obvious difference between us even an attitude towards life it's still different um and like even as me like I'm an aggressive you know feel like I like to be the air like to put myself out there and I like to get what I want and all that stuff and I'm very clear when I want to say that but there's still a hesitation that comes from me and that's because of my any like I still have to do there's like mine is always new a you know go back into any land like that's where I come from I don't come from like you know a seal and I don't even have se you know mine is si not even about that so it's it's so funny seeing such a really good example of why some descriptions or if you go by Sur and economy descriptions it can cause more harm than good because means hot any harm no no means hard but it's like imagine trying to decipher if you were es FB versus ENFP thinking that it's just a switch of n versus s and it's yeah and in that in the archetypes so pretty much I just gave all the 16 types of name and I haven't talked about it much on my channel yet but actually call es FP is the catalyst because I actually think it's es FP is that really spark people a lot more than enfps enfps will like accidentally inspire we were sort of talking about this yes yes like enfps are like I'm gonna go into this room and inspire this group like I don't know know everything about that is um what you mentioned like the whole I'm going to is the any of us like but refer me and be like oh I'm going to present everything that I want to present and it's all gonna work out but an SOP is just gonna walk in and just do it like hey they aura are inspiring people like they're probably the more motivational coaches some of them could be even owe money nm fees Bob gonna be like well I have dreams I got things happening for me and here's the important part here is that in a peas are very inspiring people and they have so much potential so creative but if we can't really address what is holding me and a Pete back then how are they gonna get there to be that that peope that person that we all need you know mm-hmm and if we just act as though you know peas already are a lot of those people or like I see it in general there's so many celebrities that I believe are enfjs there are types as enfps because they're super inspiring yeah and it's like whatever see how how do we how do we help identify what actually holds an ENFP back from inspiring or from actually making one of their goals happen because okay we can probably segue to your notes here because you say that Ian's appease are terrible at following through but they're really good at starting multiple projects and enfjs are very disorganized throughout their projects however they will follow through on the projects that they have started which I agree with this yeah there's also that interesting thing when you asked when you prompted that question about how do you differential I can you know be kind of like well what stops us I think it's because our energies aren't predisposed to that anyway the energy is always going to go inwards with RFI and I think that's something that's I think it's a misnomer to assume that we are intentionally trying to inspire people and for any inner peace out there I don't know if you've realized how hard it is to actually motivate people to do things for you it's actually a lot harder for us than we think for us it's always like we walk into a room we're like hey let's go out but you almost always have to almost find yourself having to go along with them to watch how they do it because you can't just motivate them and then leave them be so that they can do it themselves you almost have to really pay close attention or keep a close eye on that person because it's that hard um I look at the energy that's so easy for them they can like say something and be like this is what you need to do and they present the steps and everything I can do the same if they'll be like yeah this is what you need to do and like do they do it no I always have to be like okay well okay how about I list us out for you does it make it easier for you or what is it we're like I'm looking at it from a completely different angle and it's not the most effective angle at least for for their pathway or anything yeah and I'm realizing that it's very almost biased of my se to even assume like when I'm talking about the inna Peas and my oh how are you guys gonna complete your goal how could we make sure that happens for more of you and correct me if I'm wrong but it's like maybe it's not that big of a deal if it doesn't happen for you or it's almost like I it's hard for me to think about what it's like to really not value se like because maybe you don't need to make it a reality I don't know really it really isn't like a desperate need like have to you look we must make it a reality it's me it really does feel that way yeah we can't it still it's an eland like what doesn't work we are safe because of the comfort somewhere in you and you know we just pull a different one and then babble about that instead and that's probably way more fun or better than well that's it I found a lot of any users really like fiction or just like putting themselves in another world because there's like no risk there yeah and I mean I think that's why the gravity towards like story creation like I myself it's actually really easy for me to create pocket dimension like literally kind of stories like universes like I can um I can make it quickly like I could let's say right now we could be discussing anymore like oh well let's imagine ourselves as like you're this person that person I'm like okay so what are your skills what are your this the entire I it's so put on the spot yeah and like as we were talking I'm already building that universe in my mind and I could probably present it on a piece of paper and be like so this is my first draft well I know how to do that I mean not not saying that no energies could do that if they really like if an energy has a true love of writing and they got really good at it yeah they can do that but but really the real thing to look at with introverted intuition is that I'm not just gonna apply my intuition to everything like I would I mean for me like I'd rather be an expert in certain things and like I'm not a right I'm not a creative writer like I'm not gonna just like pretend like I can do that but I know it's not gonna be like high quality well cos dry our inward focused right with ni yeah it's actually one of those interesting differences between us is that my idea is always being pushed out of me like or reacting and being like all over the place or either I'm pulling from like random area is just by my eyes are we starting everywhere because I'm reacting to every potential to possibility that's popping in my immediate surrounding versus like an ni user who won't because for them it's like a gravity thing you know like they absorb it but it's going like it's inward that's never supposed to come out like in a way that's like this I do digital media strategy and so if you were to come to me and say I need some ideas for my how to help my business make find more customers online or something I would have lots of ideas for them and you would think oh are you using any or something because you're so I don't know it's almost like I'm an endless aisle of ideas I think that's because I'm an expert in that like I said I could do that for you I understand that yes it's like oh I understand what you're looking for but like if I don't have like a goal like I hate I absolutely hate icebreaker games you would you would think that it an ENFJ by reading the description you might think that they would like them but almost every unit a I've talked to you does not like us because it seems so fake and force and it caught and it makes you be like okay what's your favorite color I don't know like what's the fuss do feel so much more comfortable with each other now that we know your favorite color I don't know my preferences like it pretty much it forces you to come up with your Fi and just pretty much share a bullet bulleted list of your Fi and I'm like oh great I don't know fun facts about me what would you ask my friends first so we can give a better just like oh no they're all gonna judge me because I didn't the fun fact I chose was it random enough or something you know it's funny if you want to add this because you mentioned ice bigger thing like as an ENFP I feel like people assume we're all great at like improv or something or not actually I'm terrible improv when someone's like okay we have a prompt and then go for it I see comprise the any paralysis or are just like hey you know I stick in I'm like but there's like way too many things to come out of that prom like let's say a dying mom or something or like a dying goat right I'm busy creating the universe in my head of a dying goat and everyone's already acting it out making it funny and in the minute I start talking I may not always convey the exact same mood that I'm imagining in my head so like it doesn't come out the way I intended to therefore people don't laugh so because this NF peas that are gonna improv which I do think that there definitely are some they're the type that become really good and they just sort of go on stage and create the universe and then all the N I use are sort of follow and they know like this person is good we're just not gonna talk think about it we're just gonna let it out let's go go go there's a couple so I did improv in college there are two people that were both infps that were like the star of it where they would just say the weirdest and everyone it was so funny that everybody was happy to go along with it like and sort of let them leave the ideas like story creation I have to say like this is shout out to all the any auxilary people out there like they how they wield and I say wield to them it's a weapon how they wield any is very beautiful demos like art like I've mentioned this time TPP's I've mentioned this to infps each to each of them individually they wield any they can pull out probably more out of it than they usually then I what I usually can think I can but because with me being any dom this is just my air like this is how I live so it's really hard for me to like be conscious yeah and to be conscious of it because it is relatively unconscious at this point like you like ever since I could remember I'm already using any like let's say with you as an Fe compare yourself to an infj or a nice and how they use in wheeled Fe you're kind of like really have to say INFJs are really amazing at coming up with convincing excuses that make it look like they're being for real and make you feel really validated they're gonna using se to pretty much like I remember talking to another unit J about this and it couldn't so much shout-out to Kat like the harshest truth you could tell to an eye NJ is that people there are the wisest people you've ever met but they're also the clumsiest people because looking fear as is so bad like it's it's hard like they're gonna be better at se that I am basic well because they're focused on it but like they'll just bump into things we'll do something we'll get into really bad situations but then when you ask them about some wisdoms they just got it you know that's true but yeah so how about would you like to take me through your list oh yeah sure would you like to go through the PE of this bag take me through and then I will comment on each one or if there any we can just sort of make sure we at least cover everything that you wrote aleem oh okay well at least for this was like a byproduct of just letting loose with my Annie because you asked me for like remember you're having that conversation or like oh can you provide a list of what you think are the differences and I'm just like alright and then we start vomiting all this any I think one thing that really like popped up to me is when I spent you know under there under the ENFJ say where you guys are actually like known to be important to organize kind of thing but you guys always kind of follow through I think people kind of assume just because you're Jay that like your rooms are gonna be spotless and clean all the time and in here oh you care about chores and like all this stuff no going no because for them it's like if it's the goal like fits in with that then yes they will be spotless but if it's not then they could care less about I mean they're still intuitive 'he's right you're not gonna care about the mundane details of life if it doesn't contribute to a bigger idea yeah and then the next thing that hit me was how you guys speak is very that's like one of the biggest tell tales tell tales yeah between an ENFP and an ENFJ you guys use you like to lace your words with your feelings it's at least your words with emotions yeah I'll like be like Oh whenever I am whenever I want to want this person to feel a certain way because of what I'm saying I'm gonna get progressively more and more like I'll apply the emotion that's appropriate for it and then they're gonna get it and you usually do because you guys know exactly what buttons to push and you know it's funny I almost feel like it's a teepee that would like think through like what emotions should I use or maybe I have chase but like for me I don't even know that I'm doing it really to me it's just expressing how I this is why I think a lot of esm Jays or Ashley comedians in yeah in like this in the major chase yes of Jesus actually you know I have wondered if Adam Sandler was an ESS J cuz people have really bad like takes on yes of Jesus like I feel like people hate on them too much in the type community not realizing that the person you're either you're really good friends with other person you meet at the grocery store the Percy set beside with on the bus that's super super funny was an es FJ like yeah they are like I don't know like yeah like this like so sucky is part about the stereotyping like if you lose out on the great kind of gift that an es if you can actually give you I mean you think I'm just yeah yes if Jase could be really hilarious like well your sisters wonder right yeah yeah she's my best friend's in the SF jey and like there's never a time in our lives where this is never funny I don't I I actually made a video once where I said ESF J's can be really witty and just about how when they get like in the zone and they're just like vibing with someone they can be extremely clever and like funny and they like use their any pretty much to make you laugh or to make you happy so it's so much fun watching yeah I like it I like what you're putting down um I have to say though with the big thing with enfjs though wait I was by assigning not assign me by lacing your words with emotions you guys do achieve that inspire inspirator type of personality because you guys are motivators by default by that kind of logic right like you guys are gonna end up basically telling people to get on their feet and move you know like oh and people do I think the biggest part of you guys is also the result that you guys get out of it but you probably don't even think of it that way like you probably don't even see or care about the result of it but you want people to Riley if you want to rile them up incite them to want a riot that you incite them to love like to to work together or like to work toward something right like – always – yeah and it's like I know how hard I am on myself like if I have an idea that I want to do I want to be encouraged by others because I know how terror terrible it feels to have an idea that I'm not doing you know and so that's why I like so my thing with Ian appease I have a lot of really close friends who are eating of peas but at worst like the biggest sort of criticism I can have or like the thing that annoys me sometimes is I feel like from my perspective it can seem like Ian of peas have so much potential and they don't do anything with it and it makes me sad because I feel like the world needs that and if you guys can get out of your heads for one second you can realize that just a little bit of effort can literally change the world and sometimes I feel like jealous of like well I don't have any of that skill of like any Fi and it's like if I had that I'd be famous by now or something like I look at like my friend crystal sometimes I'm like but I just was in control of your body for like one day your life would be different like I would just you would be well I know that's like not true but like sometimes I just looks like from my perspective Hey NF Peas you have all the tools you need yet you aren't using them to get somewhere and it makes me just want to tear my hair out but because I just see the value in it but then I also it's like I don't have that like I don't know like I don't have like any Fi so I can use I think same way we maximize our potentials really easily because of our any but we lack the drive like you said to achieve that and another thing that makes it difficult is our function stacking while we can maximize our potentials we're not actually equipped to produce results in a sense it takes us time I remember talking to a tipi actually about this and work I would I would argue that we're kind of like we're better in time like we have to go through time we don't really you don't just become better it takes a lot of work because we actually have to get to that point where we are manifesting ourselves on to reality with no fear of ever having to retreat to any land or anything it's gonna take a while like I've I remember feeling so validated by a 40 or 50 year old ENFP who told us yeah life's hard but you'll get to a point where it becomes more comforting and becomes less taxing on you and it is I remember telling you about it like we suffer from like but socionics called like clipped wing syndrome like lost in all these ideas but we don't know how to like make like we can't help but fall flat on our faces feel like I just want to say I'm probably projecting my own experience onto what I just said in this sense that you guys seem to be more able to have fun and enjoy the process even if you don't like maximize your like meet your goal like like I I think a lot of times like that drive like en J's in particular I think Ian of Jays and INTJs are like extremely entrepreneurial they tend to be they really want to like forge their own path and they en J's it's like without si like SI polar it's like no focus on comfort at all we can sort of smash through a brick wall and order secant to where we want that's it's like I have an idea right and I want to make it work so I use tertiary se to just go through the brick wall and like if I can't get through the brick wall then I beat myself up so much that like I'm I think that the perspective that enfps have is a lot like more carefree and ok with the process and ok with the journey to where it's almost like I'm projecting my own feelings whenever I talk about a nafeez in the way that I just was in this sense that you don't need to achieve something you don't need to like like Edith these are good at like oh I just like drawing like you don't need to make an Etsy shop and shouldn't sell it just like drawing you know what I mean like I don't know it was actually really interesting when you mention that because se is force basically you really are shaping reality to your will regard like you know maybe SF ease we see it with es teepees ENTJ is like y'all can do it I mean heck that I expect is exps also can do it quite well it's not very well but because of how any does and we seek alternatives potentials possibilities if there's a wall in front of us we don't punch it we like look around and see if there's an alternative yeah you guys are plumber that way because you don't always need to like my mom but if it's a paper wall just like my ESS J mom who uses aside any she has told me my whole life I make things difficult on myself I show the shell most like see me trying to go through the wall she's like how do you are you banging your head into this thing around it but it's it's it's it's actually good okay I want to mention how to like this is like a big difference in how we talk as well en FPS relays our words with metaphors a lot like again I'm using the word like because I'm constantly comparing two dissimilar things all the time yeah when you said what if it's a paper wall and it's a big sign that you must be an any value or something when you're using a metaphor to explain something RTI is so bad hey my di is at least people have told me that my test time what is kinda better because I could follow a TI process a little bit I guess to some extent but at the end of the day I'm not gonna value TI the same way as an ENFJ will right and what ends up happening is because I don't always have the right words it's always gonna come off like this I'm trying to make up like a bunch and I'm breaking rules Joey the INF Phe has a good friend of mine has actually said that I you use English weird like I you don't hazel English language weirdly I break all the rules like I don't care I just compare everything to anything and hopefully it all makes sense yeah and I think that Ian of Jays younger ones that are less developed they still like aren't going to be very clear or concise when they're talking Univ J's in general very long-winded but I do think that we all care about precise language in fact I was gonna say earlier that after after like several years of thinking realized some words that really did describe me sorry there were some words that really describe me more than anything which i think is sort of related to ni is that I think I'm wise and I think that I'm strong willed and I think both of those words I mean I always used to just say oh I'm passionate and I am passionate but um I think those words really do describe and I I mean like not not that any can't be that but at least in my in my experience that's how I experience my and janus hmm but yes funny because like I've never actually considered myself to be a passionate person oh you don't see myself as such I could have packed like I remember Kat telling me she's like you got passions you got hobbies see all this stuff but they're all kind of expendable to me I like to collect resources like to collect the potential or resources also but it's not something I can come up on a stage and be like so this is the one you know this is the product of your life or something like this is gonna chill you should do an impression of an ENFJ way to giant you should pretend to be a keynote speaker oh not happen I'm gonna get up there and be like I care about all of you no I ain't out yet fj's I feel like are stereotypically that's like keynote speaker or like motivational speaker that's like you know what I hope you'll leave here today realizing that you're worth it and and you know what this company need you like there's just a sort of brand of like I feel like it's funny whenever I actually see like ENFP speakers they like always are extremely self-deprecating about how awkward it is that they're up there and that's how they are cause matic about it'd be kind of like you play on the whole well I'm me you don't have to take it like this is who I am this is anything is can't you can't give like proper advice if that make you know if that makes sense like we can't just be like you know why you're going through some this kind of problem and this is what you're going through because you guys can like catch on on intention like really quickly and then like whenever like it so I'm always uncomfortable when someone comes to me for advice or like you must be very desperate to come to me okay so my best friend crystal also says things like that but whatever I'm looking for is her opinion I'm not looking for tell me what to do or whatever like I want to know her like gut instinct yeah which it's not something that we get on like we don't get on that right away yeah I actually have to tell myself when then for example Kat tells me something it says my best friend like Jill says something when fj's or if you don't say anything you guys are actually wanting that conversation you want an answer you're wanting that back-and-forth yeah for me I'm like immediately thinking should I have the conclusion already should I have an idea already prepped up and ready for you like I don't but suddenly there's like a pressure on me to suddenly like create something out of thin air well you relate to this but she said that she's afraid of leading me astray or like saying something and that I take her advice and then yeah full on full truth and no tea no shade like we don't want to take responsibility you don't want someone to come back and be like how dare you well the thing is is it's cuz we love being like because how any is nature is open-ended no matter what so it's almost by default you can't settle on an advice either so like let's say I had the best advice for a person but it's gonna be buried between miles and miles of other potential bad advice as well that it's just gonna be like and what is it the tiresome or trouble songs just bring that one out like we don't hone in on that right away and like again like it brings up if you came up to me and asked for my advice or whatever and I'd be like well what if it's this you're gonna be like no that's not the point I'm actually the what-if of it I want to know if you have a opinion on why this is this or what do you think we expressed that via te so it doesn't always come off as refined that we probably want it to be yeah yeah so the next thing on here you have about vision oh yeah my face immediately kind of reaction like a vision yeah and I feel like and see I don't know if I've said anything like this on my channel before but I'm almost afraid to say the words that you typed out which are that if he's had no vision only short-term bursts and then rather let the wind take them mm-hmm I'm wondering now like how many of these enfps online are actually EF J's that have been mistyped because I can sense my fear of even saying the words enfps have no vision because I know that there's gonna be people saying hey I have vision actually I agree I agree I'm gonna clarify that um anyone can have a vision right like I feel like that's the the TI of this is that anyone can have a vision I could literally just say I want to be a coach one day right but the clear thing is the big difference between us is that I'm only telling you as an idea you're probably intentional izing I remember um yeah Emily back okey if you're watching shout out to you but when you say something you intend for it to have it no matter what like it's going to happen no matter what for us it's as an FPS that's not on our minds we like yeah I wanna go rock climbing but me stating that isn't the same as intending to go for it I actually haven't been to like a rock climbing thing in like years I've already said that like five years ago that I wanted to go hey I have a vision I want to do at some point in my life but I'm fascinated by the potential of that vision it's not the same so I feel like we need to know um the path of this vision first because as that if he's were just stating it um I can't really hurt whenever I tell people my visions and they doubt that they are going to happen yeah like well I wouldn't have said that unless it was gonna happen yeah and then for us or at least for me I would argue the opposite I'd be like well I just said it it's just supposed to turn into something I don't and you know why for any n of Jews watching this might be good advice or something to try I have started to share with people less about my visions because what I've realized is that I know when I have a vision they're gonna happen but it really is draining to feel the Fe that they don't believe you or that they are doubting you and it can make you doubt yourself and it can make you wanna like even though you said yeah even though you were gonna do it or it could make you be defensive or like wanna be convincing why you're gonna do it to them and it's such that's a waste of energy like you don't need their self-doubt because they don't believe in themselves on you because if you say something you believe in yourself and you're gonna do it and everybody else I don't know why I just feel the need to say this to the enfjs and anybody everybody else if they are doubting your vision it's because of all the times that they've had a vision that they haven't followed through on and they're probably threatened by the fact that you have one or like what would it mean for them if you did this vision and then they would have to sit with the idea that of all the vision that they didn't do you know like what does that say about them and so so many people's opinions a lot of times inna J's will take them as like fact or take them as like oh maybe I should have considered all of these reasons why I might not be successful when really it's like eat up J you just need to do the thing like you don't need to be wasting your time thinking about what these people think about what you're going to do because add something to that yeah something really good back to when I said that UNF peas have no vision there is so much nuance with that sentence because look how much thought you put in right like how much thought you put in to achieving set vision it's like you have the process lined up in your mind you know what needs to be done like I can already kind of imagine enfps out there like I have a vision I've accomplished things I've done stuff I've won out and like let's say I wanted to go to China and how I'm in China right I've accomplished my vision but my question is habit is it actually a vision or did you look up with your te like the flight plane ticket you know what Oh 300 bucks let's go for it was it really a vision you just kind of followed through an idea it's not a vision right did that have any lasting effect on your growth on who you are as where you are in their path or your flow of time what I doubt it people ask you so why'd you go to China because I wanted to let's say a bit like what are your intentions but something you could give me a full-on reason so the definition of vision is the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom and a mental image of what the future will or it could be like so I think that the at least the definition we're using when we were saying the even apply to both don't have vision like I get what you're saying I do think that people in the English language just use the word of vision very flippantly but like the way that enfjs the way that ni has a vision is a lot more intentional it is a bull's eye on the like it's like a target on the dartboard it is like that is where I'm going I also would like to even bring up how the path to us achieving our visions for either one of us because I know like it no one has a monopoly right on the front of Conn's yeah so well let's say an ENFP has a vision right let's say I want to be this um the way to get there isn't gonna be using you know nfg tactics yes right like for example let's say today let's we had a goal to do this video about ENFJ versus ENFP you know I'm over here with my notes right I've typed it up I'm you know and I think needed all this fancy shenanigans but like I have to like literally see it I can't just visualize like a path in front of me conceptually and hope that does something like I don't see a single line I see not I don't see lines I see how I'm doing imagining I'm imagining the audience I don't know the difference between ENFP and ENFJ and I'm just trying to talk to them and I'm just thinking in my mind like if I if there's something that might be confusing that I all of a sudden feel an obligation I feel bad and I feel like oh I need to clear this up for that because I can almost like imagine or like feel stress of like oh no something you just said might have been confusing to somebody else or something I said might have been confusing like it's like almost like I've attached my like heart to whoever's on the other side of the sea in like you're still like your salon down right like and I don't like that's why to me it's like it's so hard that I have to actually start like be more considerate because when I love because I've just I don't care why do I care about the implication on another person that's like a waste of my time right I'm here pushing ideas I'm here to make a person question their own thought process I don't need you to change your mind like it's just yeah like the weirdest combo between us I don't know it's like I'm just trying to meet them where they're at but I I don't know it's an imaginary target still for me and I'm just offering it I'll try to be like here you like it no sure whatever like it makes me sound way more heartless than I usually actually yeah and I mean sort of the difference even to look in this video is you really care about this topic because you didn't find your type at first before you realized you were NFP and you have a vested interest in a personal interest in clearing this up yes and I mean I do as well but in general I was an MP dong but you're like what you said like you're still looking you're thinking of the audience impact right even at the beginning I was like oh I imagine some of the people watching this might have just took the cast and they found us and so I'm gonna think this is gonna go down well I mean I am a chaos starter here we are going to yeah number five chaos production but yeah so Ian of JS can suffer from tunnel vision which sort of fits in with like the vision we were talking about earlier is that we could have a very one-track mind which can be good like for example like right now just like the actual facts of my life is that I am working on a master's in psychology part-time I am working on a coaching business a YouTube channel a podcast I have a job and I'm also starting a immediate company with my friend and I'm doing all of this at once and I know for a fact that my life is going to be different in three months everything's gonna be different but I know I cannot live this way anymore and so these are ideas I've been sitting on for months and I am just like I'm going to start the ideas you can tell that I'm already giving you that face just like how are you alive right now like I don't cuz like I'm barely going through with my podcast right like I'm making it happen but I can't believe I made it to 13 episodes right it's so hard to like hone in and focus you're right and gee and like picky with it and he like oh so I know what needs to be done his the flow of time dictates that this must be dyed and I don't want to be conventional so we're gonna make it happen and I'm just going here like yeah let me tell you though the thing with this tunnel vision is that it's really easy to know what my priorities are because I know that over the next three months I need to rearrange my life to the point where I can support my schooling the school's gonna start in August mm-hmm and it's like I mean I know that I need to rearrange my life so that I like have these offerings I'm doing because it's like and I've spent and it's not like I'm just it's not like I'm an SP that's just like okay we're gonna force this through it's like I've spent months doing market research with like individuals that I have given I've given free coaching I've given cheap coaching I have done market research with people I know exactly the way that I want to help people and now it's ready it's like it's come out of the oven in like now I'm putting it out there and it's like I have been doing a lot of like thinking or whatever but the the point of my one-track mind is that I am going to Les concerts I'm talking to Les friends and seeing my family last I know that once I have this foundation for my life like I'm never gonna have to get over this hurdle again like this is me this is like so I'm gonna be like set for life like not like everything but I'm gonna be on the path yeah it's almost like stepping on the path yeah she's actually good thing that you mentioned one-track mind because by default you aren't getting distracted you're resisting or choosing to push away distractions yeah I put my blinders on to other ideas like a horse with those blinders things are like runs yeah I only look in front of me yes you know for example I haven't talked about any agreement that much of my channel because I would rather focus on like finishing up sharing a lot of thoughts that I've already been sitting on for a while like well I'm like thinking about Enneagram yeah it's like I feel like I'm not ready to share yet I also feel like I'm not ready to share a strategy with you guys it's like you guys need to understand it all thoroughly first and then bounce in it like like you said man if you mentioned earlier like yeah you're more comfortable expressing something when you've at least become some form of an expert I didn't even I didn't even make a video until five years being deeply entrenched in forums Here I am just like talking out of my ass about like anything you're right like you have good points though so it's not necessarily like Ian if J should probably learn to speak up a little sooner well what's kind of zom so let's say look put it down but you have so much projects going on you're making that happen right so much going on in real life um I have piles upon piles of drafts like I've created limitless universes already in my mind and I've already projected them onto papers I but have I ever went there and pushed it now like I've never actually went out and produced it because things get in the way and that's another thing I want to bring up between in appeasing J's we aren't necessarily good friends with reality like when realities and limitations kick in it hurts us way more than we probably let out people met on to people because the disappointment of an ideal or an idea not making it out to the world to the real world the way we want it to it taxes us it costs us a little piece of our sanity or the piece of our soul is we're so attached to the idea rise for you guys I feel like you guys wouldn't mind if the idea had tweaked itself a little bit just as long as it made it out yeah cuz I know it's going to like your focus on it making it making it there for us we already like we like this ideal oh my goodness like I was with my parent when my friends were telling me like how do you want to propose to a girl for example and I had this elaborate scheme the moonlight candles and they were like what if it burns what if like all this thing goes wrong and I'm just going like but I wanted in brain to end brainstorming sessions with like NFP sometimes if they say an idea and they're Fi is like stuck on it and I like critique it to try and move it toward a better one so it doesn't work well but see my goal is to find the best one I don't really care what it is I knit into the best one like you try to fit it yeah oh yeah oh my gosh I told my friend if she's in the SF jey by anyway I won I was someone she was planning her wedding that was actually really interesting thing I brought up all the alternatives all the possibilities everything like this she had a vision actually granted she did it um but she wasn't because of any cuz her if he was there or something she wasn't too married to an idea like she wasn't too married to a single one when things came up in real life that said hey you can't do that she'd be like okay we'll try something else her any was a lot more subdued than mine so I was kind of like really I would have thrown a fit already I would've been like upset that I couldn't get this I wasn't here on everything she wanted it's funny though she still got the the wedding of her dreams but she got it at a fraction of the price idea and I'm kind of like you might have liked mine below going like that's how we use it like that's how we get oh man how long have you been talking yeah we probably should I can we try and make sure we get through there all of these or do you think wanted to cut it in two we could always cut it in two yeah we can always do another let gosh what was I gonna say um just ended on like we're still on that vision oh the idea check okay so for example um to use a real example just like my life right like I really just commit to okay I'm offering mentorship sessions which by the way I'm I'm offering mentorship but it's linked below once I like commit to sort of like that typing sessions and then like my digital media offerings I'm doing my friend in school and all this once I sort of commit these things it's like these are the seeds for the rest of my life they're going to grow they're going to change I'm gonna have all these obstacles thrown at me I'm probably going to completely abandon certain things and change them and I'm I might introduce Enneagram I might introduce who knows like I might be done with myers-briggs but all these things are still the seeds for where I'm going and that's what is gonna feel like comfort to me like once I get sort of past this hump of it it's cuz it's gonna feel like a Dacian and like my image a friend and I we are actually talking or she said to me she's like Megan the one we're doing it I'm doing a business with she was like we need to realize that we are not birthing adults we're birthing a baby and once you birth the baby then it's gonna grow like yeah oh dang that's that's actually a pretty good way to put it I think we're that's with me I'm too impatient I guess it's another way to put it like I'm Way too impatient with an idea I just want to run away you know going back to relationships can we just not date we just go you know like really like can you just or like let's say a job can't just hand me the job I'll make it happen it's so much easier than having to go through this process cuz it's Austin what you mentioned about you know this whole taking time being like mindful of this process then you see like there's the disgust going on no and what's crazy here's the thing to notice like with an FPS our growth to that let's say we let's say I decided I wanted to go mentorship or whatever again just an idea for the folks listen it's not actually happening you guys are all D and I'm on Twitter no of course not um but say I did the steps I'm gonna have to take to get there is gonna be already imagining how taxing it is and that's the thing that's already causing me to not want to do it because like um I'm thinking of the si steps the si details because that's what I'm you know I mean I have to sleep on time that means I have to know what I'm like means I have to know how I eat properly because if I don't I'm gonna get hungry and I'm not gonna think and it just gonna be terrible so I have to like make sure that I'm the all point but then what ENFP is on point the reason why I've even come to those conclusions is through years of trying to figure out what I want to do I mean like years as though like seven years now I mean I'm gonna be 25 next week and you know whenever I was 17 and I realized that I was not going to be a famous musician or at least I had to come up with a better career path I have been pretty much contemplating since then what the am I gonna do nothing sounds fun it was like I had this existential crisis of like all I've ever done my whole life is take performing and like music extremely seriously without even thinking about having any other hobby well this'll this is coming very fresh to me people don't like anything I don't like the time decides it to be I could be friends with someone for a long time and then not even share details about my life because you can have what I talk about in your house right now don't have a dog okay cuz I'm kind of like I don't know like and I would over share every unsubmitted detail so my one of my absolute best friends now my en of J friend the what I'm doing a business with I met her two years ago and she's literally one of my best friends now I asked her like two months ago so where did you grow up yep about cat and it's been like three years but the thing is like me it's not my concern like it's not my business so when you guys are comfortable sharing I'm still up for it like I'm still offering no matter why things a secret it just doesn't seem relevant it's just that like when we're talking about type is all you're gonna bring up oh by the way I had a dog understand like how it goes it's just funny to me because it's like some facts do go over our heads and we don't think about it we don't talk about it it's like yeah so here's the story of my life now that we're talking about it I was 17 and so this is also even like really and I even though I was 17 yes I I did not even ride on the wave of he knows maybe I could be famous like I was really thinking about is like you know I don't think I want to be famous in that way I don't think I want to be a teacher in that way like I was like uh-huh and I was like maybe I want to do music business or maybe I want to learn how to be a producer or something for music and then like there was like one school in the Midwest or whatever that had this program that was like music technology and you know my parents only allowed me to apply to like a certain number of schools so I like completely had all my eggs in one basket which i think is a very NJ thing put all your eggs in one basket but anyway and then I didn't get into that school and then I was like existential crisis that's actually when I learned about myers-briggs I started looking up things online because I was like I don't know who the hell I am I don't know what I'm gonna do all I know is I'm looking at these college paths and they all sound terrible I just was like get me out of here get me out of life none of this looks cool or fun for me and so yeah I guess I've been thinking for so long like what is it that I can offer but like now that I have an idea it doesn't seem ski or anything because it's not oh it's so and nothing I haven't had plans myself it's just that like I feel like you guys have every tendency to pick the most unconventional route like anyway you know like I don't think you guys like it then that you have an idea like maybe I wanted to pursue this because you're already on that path but you're like I'm not gonna pursue we're just gonna let's try this one let's try that one let's see how this works I think in some ways it's because a lot of life is set up in like an SI way and that's why it doesn't work because the thing is is that if there would have been a career that I would have really liked on the page I would have known because it would have jumped out at me because that's how I am with everything it always jumps out at me I don't know if you relate to that like every time like if I'm gonna date someone it takes me like a few seconds I'm like oh yeah I'm gonna date that person or like like things jump out at me so the fact that it didn't jump out at me on the page like my career that was like really alarming for me it's funny because you mentioned the motion jumping and I don't know if the people listening or watching her to think like oh that's not any no it's not like it's not how many would because it's like any is you sitting there looking at that girl and being like well maybe she's the one you're gonna marry and then you talk to her like oh well probably not but then you forget to realize that relationships are two-way and so you actually have to kind of work together but no one of us think like that I almost wonder if it's se4 like the physical environment to jump at you in that way or like to almost like just enough ah biggest thing with ena peace we need to ground ourselves I know there are few success stories out there in FPS who probably won't relate to anything I say any of the struggles because they've done it you know like I don't think they ever have to worry about that problem but if if they've done it they should know the struggle yeah they should know that they've been there before and they've made it happen or at least the thing is I remember having these these discussions with a 10fps and being like so what steps did you take if you were a successful and everything you would have already known what steps you take in and you want to read you probably would have been telling that to me in a way that worked for you but that's not always the case and that's how I kind of like engage if an NF P is actually successful or not because they don't always get like I don't give me that step-by-step process that I know they're gonna know how they did it because it was hard we remember then the significant moments in our lives where that actually came about what's an example if you have one of like no I'm trying to think of like why is it hard or can you elaborate a little bit more on like why a successful and if he would know like the step by step of what they did well cuz we already know that it's already hard enough to manifest ourselves onto reality it's hard enough that our ideas we like to have it remain in our minds the most part but the biggest problem with us is that by the time we project that outwards there's that disappointment that we're kind of afraid of so the success story that I'm looking for is how did they get over that disappointment how did they get over that initial backlash that your ideas didn't actually kick in the way you wanted it to and then how did you kind of work around it using still your mu and then getting to the point in your life where like this is actually what I needed but if you fought the same as my mind but that's okay like it's okay that it's not the same because we're so married to an idea that we forget that there's people on planet earth and was still listening to us that there's still people out there but better ideas in us it's almost like reality is always gonna disappoint you because it's never gonna be as exciting as it is in your head yeah exactly and I think the biggest reality check for enfps is to realize that we have to actually be like or learn to love reality for what it is I'd like for me like I've been learning to take that actually almost costly reminding myself all the time about because if I don't it becomes a problematic like a problematic issue when it comes to presenting myself on to said reality because like for example if I don't if I keep telling myself on reality is boring like everything's boring or everything's not as fun as it is then I'm not gonna have any enjoyment trying to let's say pursue a goal or a vision on this planet I'm not gonna do that because I don't like it but if I use my Fi engine and be like you know what let's motivate your suckers you actually want this then you're actually gonna get to that point because you create it you made it personal basically you've made this whole thing personal and you've also directed it's like you've also spun a feather like a thread to connect you to the to the ground and you're not as against it anymore and I feel like that's where we all have to go back to you as an ENFP we have to go back to the fact that we need to realize I'm you enjoy this thing cuz if you don't we're just gonna be stuck in any land it's not gonna do us any justice interesting it's so not an I so don't remain it's not I'm so glad you said that because I I was talking to earlier and you're like what that's exactly how I feel about what you're saying and so hopefully I could tell based on my lack of reaction that is gonna be really helpful okay all right because I just might wait what which means I don't hear people talk about that though you know like that means like yeah and if he's give up too easy we give up too easy on that reflect on reality when really we need to actually be happy cuz I've reframed the whole situation the whole problematic situation of being Indian if you realise reality is actually forgiving it's not the permanent nightmare that we think it is it's actually a forgiving place because what you do on to reality you can fix as long as you're still know why I think you guys might view it as that way is I did a video once that was just a random idea I had ended up being a pretty successful video where I said NF P's don't wait until reality bullies you into taking action and I was kind of talking about the idea that like if something is your souls path or like your destiny or like something that's really meant for you like in your heart or whatever and you keep not acting because you think there's gonna be more times or whatever I personally believe a lot of enterpise resonated with this it's just a theory that the world is gonna pretty much shake you until you figure it out what's what's happening and so and so I feel like a lot of NS piece probably have an experience of with reality that's being shaken but that's wouldn't you wait that's when it's too late that's not like how it normally is how it is for you yet you're not really supposed to I think yeah the bus now especially the healthy ones have learned to balance that fear by like handling I think of like because it like for me I naturally like to think of backups all the time I like having a lot of that going on I also like I never think back I also like to have like things spread out like a spreadsheet like a map out like for example let's say like I always like to bring up like I'm gonna trip to Montreal for example I decided that I was just gonna memorize the entire skies like the whole train lines all of it because I don't want to get lost so I memorize the entire thing so that I didn't have that was one thing off my mind that I was going to be distracted by it something about enfps I want to say is I feel like action would be memorizing it all I think it's very common for enfps to do something like that and then make it into a joke and then everyone thinks you're the funny one like on the trip without even realizing like if you think about it like it's kind of sad like why why'd you do that you know like there's like things like that I think Eva peas are very skilled at I don't know either you play it off as a joke or people react as though it's a joke I think we play it off as a joke because we know how kind of sad that is like me actually are aware how sad that is if you literally yeah put in plan it out properly so you had to rely on something like that but at the same time it's how we do so it's like for us to get any level of growth we actually accept that it's not gonna be easy for us so the methods that we're gonna take our probably gonna sound really inefficient for everybody else or ineffective for everybody else but it satisfies us yeah president I've been thinking lately and I want to talk about this more later and then maybe make maybe talk about it more on a video but sorry cuz my ni is like oh this is a new idea I'm not sure what I think yet but I've been thinking lately that it might actually be healthy for NF P's to embrace being delusional which I don't know my thoughts on that but like the idea is that sometimes I feel like if you trust that your dream reality is possible that's when you start to act as though it could be and that's when you start manifesting all sort of miracles but if you if you learn to distrust your neee and you're like oh I need to be more realistic but you do need to be more realistic but it's almost like if you I don't know if you shame yourself for that delusion as opposed to treating it like fairy dust or like magic I don't know I don't know if you resonate with that well I think that it's it comes a time where we actually have to realize that we need to refine if is not everything is possible on to reality however that's my any talking if I actually wanted to make it happen I could it just wouldn't be the same and the thing is is it's done I have to like not be super married to an idea sorry I look my parents have gotten home I'm getting like okay we can roll around so but yeah so the the like it's not to be super married to the idea cause like we will eventually make it happen but you have like you said we do have every equipment ready to make it do on te is a really great tool for being clever and like cutting through things we need to be effective when we need to be we do and it's like at least with me I've I don't know how other and a piece have done it but like whenever I offer anything to anyone it's always like don't worry about me I got it be like tell me what you want and then if I can't make it happen then I'll tell you I can't if I can I will do everything within my power to make it happen so it's always like that kind of mentality for me now that's because I've spent years accumulating resources like I now know but things like if it's collect off the like I know how to change a tire I don't know like I have to collect it because it's like oh it's a resource why not oh there's one more thing I want to say before we wrap this up which we will do another video if you guys want but I know I told you this earlier is about okay you know how you're saying how you can spot sort of like a healthy ENFP based on that so the the contrary to that the ENFJ sort of how to spot a more evolved ENFJ we were talking about earlier is that Ian of Jays they're going to have to somehow get past this sort of what people think about them or like the sort of over indulgence in considering everybody's points of view and like I think that all you know Jase is some extent our ego or our persona is gonna be very attached to wanting to seem like a super harmonious person and in order to create true harmony you have to sort of let go of the facade of harmony and actually meet your own needs as well and anatase that have been successful and have made it are going to be able to tell you a time or where they realize that they had to meet their own needs they had to detach a little bit from other people's perspectives I mean you see even like shout out to cat who's like I'm gonna be on Twitter less I'm gonna focus on myself a look like people that I don't know there's always this sort of detaching that happens in order to actually create more harmony for people no it's 100% true a lot of enfjs away well the thing is it's Ben's theory even if J's aren't actually focused on like that kind of comfort you know they're not act like the heart is actually like a misnomer again because guys aren't interested in like hey let's all get along it's more like let's get a lot on to get something done yeah I mean we're going forwards here like you you guys are charged not necessarily by ideas but by problems because you guys are gonna offer solutions like you let's say you crowdsource but you're not crowdsourcing a problem we crowdsourcing a solution yes that's so true and I guess I just think that a lot of enfjs get really hung up and wanting to look like the good guy and if you are still stuck in that like you're not growing and you aren't doing anyone a service and I know if you are an ENFJ chances are you really want to help people but if you if you are stuck on seeming one way and are afraid to be vulnerable and actually meet your your own needs and be honest with yourself that you have them then it's kind of creating more harm than what you're even aware of so no I that's actually really really good advice I would say just to juxtapose that with an NFP if you want to get there and get yourself out there knowing that we have all this stuff to do for ya just stop being a soft deprecating and stop like telling ourselves that it's not possible like we think everything is possible but us and it's like we have to reverse that and put that potential on ourselves anything cuz when you review direct it you can actually do get your stuff done you also know all the ways it could not be possible yeah I think I mentioned it like I don't know where where it was I think even crystal mentioned it too when you weigh in let's say you weigh a hundred thousand positive possibilities you can also by logic equally right like weighing another hundred thousand negative possibilities so you equalize yeah find your realistic decision you need to make it's tedious but that's an any process so it's like for us it's the only way for us to get to your middle ground let me need you so you guys have any questions about what type you are or if you if you still aren't sure which one of these types you are after this I do have a typing service where I help people figure that out and also if you have any questions for us if you want us to make another video comment below and anything else you want to add Nate uh well you can always hit me up on my show plug right there cause plug shameless plug that I just can't even with myself it's the ultimate mood that I usually am in it's a full-on babble but it's a lot of ideas that I again like I mentioned with any before like I want you to think I want you to question like your thought process in the typology community and the type concept whatever theory it is you're rolling in your mind I like offering pushing for that which is funny because I knew people always wondered like if you know peas aren't gonna do bass or something like that but like I remembered they are like weave Michelle that's the only mention it all right the doubles advocate E&T peas aren't the only ones because yeah it's they're not really cuz I've challenged people with logic before and it's it's fun it's a charge for it there are different flavors of enemies obviously and we've all reached our own paths of success at some point in our lives but we all kind of I I don't know like I can't keep saying every time I meet another NFB I know exactly how they think because we have the same thought process is literally the same enemies out there you know I love you you know I'm hard on you guys but yeah it's still the same like I'm not any more different any less different like I mean what is it that first video I made I'm just the same as you guys I think of it as just your cognitive functions is like how your brain processes like an engine or whatever it's not like who you are it's not your soul it's not your emotions it's not your worldview so there's so many different flavors thought about that yeah but the thing is is that really at the end of the day enough Jason Ian of peas are we processed like completely differently but we often tend to bump into each other in like similar roles and similar hangouts because we tend to be interested in similar things and so I in general out of everything that I've learned with typology I'm almost the most passionate about how being enfjs and enfps understand each other no I'm just now realizing this because I feel like we are both very passionate well we're both very emotional in different ways and there have probably been so many fights throughout history between in opinion of Jays FPF I kind of versus all over again oh I feel like in every community you ever enter that almost seems to always trick the person right away like almost gets ya Bob the conflict right away it's not even to thinking like CIT you can follow each other fine yeah I feel like it's honestly there's so many emotions involved and you know Ian of peas and enfjs aren't afraid to react to things that weren't physically said we can sort of trust our intuition like an argument and like sort of react to things even if it wasn't said and I feel like things can get fiery between inna P and ENFJ especially if they care about each other or if they care about a similar goal and so I really just want I really care about explaining these differences because I think though that's the only way we're ever gonna be able to find a solution for how these types can really understand each other and meet each other halfway yeah actually I just want to add in there was like there was once I'm gonna serve is that an infj was but was trying to fake it by being a DNF key and like he got on boys and he just kind of talked about how he tried to be a boy am i using any doing all this stuff and I couldn't stop like gonna shake off the vibe I'm like this is you're trying too hard this is and I'm saying call them oh you're a lot than any dog aren't you and he goes no you caught me I'm like oh I know you you're from that other guy before and he goes oh you can't be like what gave it away it I'm like cuz you're everything you say yeah it's fast it's spitballing its attempting to vomit any but I've noticed none of them are disparate like the spirit ideas they're all connecting to one thing go alot and like once you've mapped with Mikey I'm like wait a minute you're all you're just following one note this is it and I was like it he goes oh dang he's like what kind I'm like you're not gonna do it like it's gonna be hard unless you were at the nfj could fake it you could fake your and u-kiss right he's pretty good like how like I say with me like my if he's actually not that bad but I don't value it because it's not my valued function like a sin he gets me away and he gets in the way rather pic and you're actually I'd rather pick fi over Fe because everything really just a preference mm-hmm so anyways well thank you so much for being on my channel and helping clear this up and thank you for all of you for watching and yeah and subscribe to Nate or find them on Twitter and there'll be lots of wonderful links below and have a wonderful rest of your day have you day

10 thoughts on “The Difference between ENFP and ENFJ (w/ Nate Rasa)

  1. ENFP:
    1.Extroverted Intuition (Ne) – objective abstract concepts
    2.Introverted Feeling (Fi) – subjective ethical values
    3. Extroverted Thinking (Te) – objective logical reasoning
    4. Introverted Sensing (Si) – subjective physical facts

    1. Extroverted Feeling (Fe) – objective ethical values
    2. Introverted Intuition (Ni) – subjective abstract concepts
    3. Extroverted Sensing (Se) – objective physical facts
    4. Introverted Thinking (Ti) – subjective logical reasoning

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  2. Listen to Nate's podcast episode "ENFJ vs ENFP ~ AFTERTHOUGHTS" ––AFTERTHOUGHTS-e4nuck

  3. Hey Meghan, just want to let you know how much your videos have been a help to me.. I have chronic health issues which leave me house bound a lot of the time and makes it difficult to meet people, so when you interview people I get to 'meet people' and explore my long- time interest interest in typing!! I love your insights too. Cheers, Loz. (INFJ).

  4. This was awesome! Learnt so much! I like how you described Ne auxiliary. I really feel that I can actively choose to use it and it always gives me so much energy coming up with ideas and relating Si facts to it. My ENFP friend and I have the most hilarious conversations but I also notice those differences in how we use Ne! /INFP

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