Suffering in Silence ~ Black Men and Depression and Holistic Healing | Dr. Rick Wallace

hello everybody dr. Rick Wallace here dropping in on you normally this is something that I would stream live on my youtube channel for the odyssey project but I wanted to stream it live here on Facebook because I feel it may reach a few more men who can relate to it it may enlighten some of our women as to what we go through as far as this is concerned so I hope that you know when you share it that it ignites conversation if you need help you can reach out to us at the Odyssey project and if we don't have the services for you we definitely will direct you in the right direction to make sure you get the help you need also for those who will watch this we are definitely right now in the push as far as fundraising goals for the Arts obviously prior projects so your support as far as that goes is immensely appreciate it I'm going to move right into this I have written and lectured in great detail on the impact of mental health in the black community and the stigmas associated with it and how they limit how we report it how we seek help for it and I've done it on both sides I've spoken to the immense impact that it has on our women and how while they will report it they don't seek to help necessary to deal with it especially when it comes to depression and that's what I want to talk about the forces of depression and how they impact us differently male and female black women have a great deal of pressure on them for a number of different reasons I'm not going to get into great detail on on that here what I want to focus on in this brief little treat eyes is the importance of black men too get beyond the myth that admitting you need help because you're struggling with something mentally and emotionally get past the myth that that is a sign of weakness we are grossly under reported as far as it depression is concerned here's the thing according to several mental health institutes and research it is anticipated that in less than a year in 2020 depression will be the number one cause of disability in the United States and black men are disproportionately represented in these numbers and it's a lot of it is basically growing up in an environment in which asking for help is a sign of weakness saying that you're struggling with depression is a sign of weakness admitting that you may have some mental health issues as a sign of weakness and that is problematic in and of itself and we are now through these same ideologies these same philosophies these same presentations of masculinity in the black community we are pumping it and into the veins into the Wilko cake implicating it into the psyche of young black males and we are seeing that when it comes to children between the ages of five and eleven black children are more likely and more at risk of committing suicide than white children between that's between the ages of five and 11 now that reverses as you move towards adulthood through adolescence and towards adulthood but the prepubescent years we're seeing a lot more suicides and attempted suicides among blacks and you gotta understand that when you're not getting hep you have to understand the history of our depression and it's a different type of depression because our experiences are different you not understand you live this life through the paradigms and the parameters created by your experiences with our experience as african-americans is uniquely different than even other blacks in other parts of the world in the Diaspora and Africa and based on those experiences we view life through these lenses that govern how we interpret life now how we interpret life is going to have an impact on how we feel because it's our perception our perception becomes our reality and so when you have men who are bearing burdens of feeling unimportant irrelevant emasculated you know will constantly under assault in so many different ways we're the most underpaid but we're expected to be providers we are the most ostracized we are just not starting to getting our get we're just not starting to get our footing in the world of academia but still that world isn't built for us it is still demanded of us that if we want to be a participant in the social the general social culture then we have to get the base out of our voice we have to get the posturing out of the erect posture out of our shoulders out of our head we don't need to be looking directly into the eyes of our white male counterparts so much more that breaks us down that puts us in places where we can't express who we are we look at just so many different ways that we are constantly under attack to relieve us of our force and our power our relevance and and and in what we need to be men and we're fighting to claim it those of us who refuse to lay down fight to claim it but that comes as a price so you get up and you go to work every day you the best you can to do what you can for your family almost days it may be good enough but they're gonna be days that it's not how how does that rest on you how do you carry it what manner of methods or techniques do you have to cope with it and there there's the common things of life that the visit the common vicissitudes that come in that you don't control your going to get news of loved ones lost you're going to get news of setbacks you're gonna have problems at the job problems in the workplace problem problems in your business how are you managing it how are you trying do anything is most of us are not seeking help most of us are suffering in silence most of us won't even admit that anything is wrong why because we've been training that if we do we're gonna be seen as weak and none of us want to be seen as weak because we're fighting so hard to express our inner power our inner strength our inner selves and many times it's not seeing a notice by the ones we want to see a notice at the motion that comes with a weight we've gotta learn how to be able to tap into someone you've got to be able to talk to someone you may need to talk to a professional you may need to have a confidant but you've got to have somebody that you can tell that the load is getting heavy you got to have somebody that'll come alongside of you and help lift it off of you help you carry it if necessary you've got to be able to express yourself and tell someone your strength is not in saying that you don't need help your strength is in knowing where you're weak so you can get the help you need so that you can stand strong when you're needed to and that's so important ladies I don't want to sound cliche I really want to take this time and be as impactful as possible do your best to understand the plight of your men it's the same thing I teach young men when I'm counseling and mentoring them be aware of what our sisters gone through and now I'm asking you to be aware of what the black man faces on a regular day on an average day what he when he walks the house nobody's walking into and know how it impacts know your value in his life whether you're his mother his daughter his sister his wife know how you can be an asset to him understand that you are at your best when he's at his best and vice versa and that when you stand with one another and you walk with one another when both of you or can trust one another and be able to lean into one another that's where your greatest power lies know that he's human despite all of the assessments of some kind of supernatural killing machines he's human and he's bad he's born a load from the moment he set foot here as as our black sisters were raped and pillaged and and and and mishandled during slavery it was the black man that can only sit by and watch or be killed and in some form or another that's been this emasculation and I'm not talking from a position of weakness I'm talking from a position refuses but I also know that even with all of my knowledge about human behavior the burden gets heavy sometimes and you've got to have somebody you can talk to you've got to be willing to know when first of all you got to be able to know when the burden has become too heavy and then you've got to be able and willing to talk to somebody about it it's okay to need help perfectly okay you're going to become better you're going to become stronger we are in a situation and place where we need healing and so many of us are operating on half strength because we haven't healed we've been through so much over the course of years we've had generational trauma passed down to us in multiple ways I've taught on that so I've written on this you can get a big whiff of it and born in captivity psychopathologies and legacy of slavery that book is dedicated to talking about the ills of our experience and what we need to do to heal from it but this is specifically to to to to black men to my brothers there's no honor in carrying that burden alone you know and when I talk about depression I'm not talking about momentary sadness they're just things that are gonna make you sad I'm talking about when that sadness sticks around for more than a couple of weeks when you can't shake it when you become unpurchased when you become unmotivated you don't feel like getting up and doing anything you just want to sit around and let the time pass you must rather sleep then get up and move you're not feeling social all of this and so much more it's okay to sit up and say I'm in a rut I need help nothing wrong with it if you are one of those people who need help in box we can do in-house at that as a project we will be glad to do it if it's something that maybe bigger and needs something else we will connect you to the right people or whatever it is it's time for us to start healing it's time for us to admit that we need help with that being said look I'm going to get off I don't want to carry this too long but I definitely needed to touch on that we are suffering in a way and it's showing up in our children now and that's something that we have to be extremely cognizant of and we need to take action but that being said I'm going to get off I'm gonna move on but you guys have an unbelievable day

3 thoughts on “Suffering in Silence ~ Black Men and Depression and Holistic Healing | Dr. Rick Wallace

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