Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences

[percussive electronic music riff] (Kyle)
What is the difference between a sociopath, a psychopath and a narcissist? Here to answer this intense question is doctor Ramani. Help us out here. (Dr. Ramani)
Well, it’s, you know, again, there’s a lot of overlap, but the fact is a lot of people are
using these terms interchangeably. (Kyle)
And should they be? No, they shouldn’t, they’re different things. Okay. One rule of thumb to remember right off the bat: Every psychopath is narcissistic, but not every narcissist is psychopathic. Makes sense? There’s your key difference. A narcissist is somebody who lacks empathy, is grandiose, is entitled, is constantly
seeking validation, is arrogant. It’s a disorder of self-esteem and they have trouble regulating their self-esteem. But when a narcissist does a bad thing,
they feel a fair amount of guilt and shame. More shame than guilt, frankly, because they’re concerned about how other people view them. Shame is a public emotion. So they don’t like being viewed negatively
in the public eye or by other people– that’s where the shame comes from. But they’ll feel a little bad,
like if they cheat on their wife, “uuuh, I probably shouldn’t have done that.” (Kyle)
Yeah. A psychopath’s a different animal. They’re all of those things except: no guilt/no shame. They don’t feel remorse when they
do something bad. (Kyle)
Wow. So they’re, they’re great serial killers, (Kyle)
Oh! hired assassins. People who are gonna go in and literally sort of
gut a business. These are your guys. They’re like I don’t, I don’t care who gets hurt.
They’d say that and they’d mean it. Okay, where narcissist is like,
“I hope no one gets hurt.” Okay? The difference between the psychopath and the sociopath is the one where most people get confused because the sociopath is a lot like the psychopath —
they do bad things and they don’t care. Okay? Here’s the key difference:
a psychopath is born and a sociopath is made. (Kyle)
[expresses understanding]
Mmmm Okay, that’s the key. So a psychopath in fact, we know in the research on psychopathy– which has also been called Antisocial Personality Disorder in our diagnostic manual– these are people who are actually believed to have slightly different autonomic nervous systems. Our autonomic nervous system is actually that
part that holds our sympathetic nervous system, which is our fight-or-flight system. So when our autonomic nervous system,
for a normal person, gets charged up, which it would if we broke a rule,
if we did something embarrassing or rude, if we ran through a red light–
our heart starts racing, (Kyle)
Uh hmmm we sweat, our pupils get wide, we look around because we’re
afraid of the consequence. A psychopath doesn’t have that same kind of arousal. That’s why they’re able to lie on lie-detector tests.
That’s how they get away with it. They don’t have that same kind of arousal. So where you or I may go on a roller coaster,
feel that sense of excitement, we need to get that arousal in a good way.
We don’t like feeling it when we do something wrong. They don’t feel it. (Kyle)
So do they get stressed? No, not in the same way. (Kyle)
So if they’re driving, (Dr. Ramani)
Mm-hmm because if I’m driving and I see
police sirens coming behind me. I mean it is a full-on, “Oh my gosh,
I can’t believe I’m gonna get pulled over.” (Dr. Ramani)
Oh, yeah, you’re not a psychopath. But a psychopath would see that and go,
“Oh, I’m gonna get pulled over.” Well, this could be, they could have a dead body in the trunk and they wouldn’t, they wouldn’t show that. And so they pull over, they get the ticket
and they don’t…care? No, they don’t care. (Kyle)
And they pay the ticket? And believe it or not they’ll even probably get an attorney to get him off or say yeah, you know my understanding of your state laws is you can’t really be doing this and they’ll be cool as can be. And this is, this is a
difference in their… makeup? They’re actually, how their nervous systems
are wired and their brains are. There’s actually been interesting
research done with PET scans where you can see brain function
and what they’ve shown… (Kyle)
Just a clarification, not “pet” like
dogs and cats, P. E. T. scans. No, that’s positron emission tomography, scans of the brain, which show brain functioning, if you will, and what they see is that the,
the section of the brain that serves empathy, that doesn’t naturally light up in them. And you can actually teach them to be empathic
for a minute but it doesn’t last. A lot of psychopaths who commit violent crimes
end up in jail and the ones who commit more like white-collar crimes, I guess they end up as
multi-billionaires because they’re willing to do really, really rough stuff in their business and get through, like, a cartel leader or something like that, call for the killings of other people. Now, their interesting counterpart
are the sociopaths. Psychopaths are born. They tend. . . their belief is that they may very well have. . . this might be genetic. In fact psychopaths often have fathers
who have lots of antisocial tendencies. Now how much of it is learned,
how much of it is genetic it’s a little bit harder to suss out. But we do see that there is that difference in your true psychopath. They also tend to be, have really glib, shallow charm, they tend to be really intelligent. That’s why they get away with stuff.
If they were really. . . (Kyle)
So they’ve learned behavior to assimilate into society. But there’s…it’s all a façade. (Dr. Ramani)
Oh, yeah It’s all a façade, they’re SO charming. (Kyle)
So if they’re born this way would a three-year-old, then, not get
stressed out if it got scared? (Dr. Ramani)
Might not (Kyle)
That’s incredible. So what we see when we diagnose Antisocial Personality Disorder, which is sort of our diagnostic equivalent to being a psychopath. In order to get that diagnosis you have to have shown a pattern
prior to the age of 15 of things like: truancy, violence towards other kids,
stealing, skipping school, (Kyle)
And not felt bad about it torturing animals, setting fires.
They just do it. They don’t care and that before the age of 15. So it’s a long-standing pattern That’s what makes us call them a psychopath or having antisocial personality. Now, this is different than sociopathy. (Kyle)
Yes, okay. Sociopathy, they look a lot like the psychopath.
The difference is they were made. So this…some examples here…the kid who grows up in a really, really, really, really rough neighborhood and learns criminality to get by
or learns to be a bully or like you know gets involved with sort of like
the wrong kids and uses a lot of muscle because that’s survivalism, but they…it’s not necessarily always
comfortable for them. They just learn it. It’s the person who grows up with a father
who teaches them the business and teaches them how to break the rules. (Kyle)
They, but they, they don’t, they, would they feel, would they start sweating and have their heart race if they got pulled over? They might. They may not feel so good about…
they’ll be a little bit more uncomfortable with it but in time they’ll learn it and that, that….
What it’s almost like, they, they get trained in not being as aroused by it. Listen, if you broke enough rules,
if you lived under certain conditions of lawlessness long enough,
you’d adjust to that “new world order”, if you will. (Kyle)
Um hmm, um hmm. That’s what the sociopath does and so they’re the person who someone who said, “He was actually a great kid until he got to high school and then it seems like he got in with the wrong kids.” That feels more like the sociopath. (Kyle)
Wow. (Dr. Ramani)
Okay, that’s almost like a training
that might happen from within the family, within their community,
within even the job they get. Some cases even, within
some form of military training. Have you had sociopaths and psychopaths as clients? Not really, no. They don’t tend to come in for therapy. They don’t see any benefit to it. The only time you would tend to see
psychopaths or sociopaths come into therapy with any consistency
is if they were court-ordered. So… I thought you were gonna say couples therapy. No God no, no.
No, it’s because they’re court-ordered so the judge will make that a
condition-of-release kind of thing or they’re within prisons and jails
and getting some treatment in there. This is so incredibly fascinating to me. If a psychopath goes to jail he isn’t upset about going to jail? Um, in some ways it becomes
a cost of doing business. You know, but it’s also–they, no.
They’re not happy about it. There was…. Psychopaths, and to some degree sociopaths,
don’t think about consequences. That’s why they pull really penny-ante silly crimes
like holding up a liquor store. Basically, “I need a hundred fifty bucks. Here’s a liquor store. It’s open. Let’s go get the money” kind of thing. So it’s like they act first and think later. So they often don’t plan in terms of consequences. That’s why they have a tendency to lie, cheat, steal and they tend to have very inconsistent work histories– because they, they’re not able to hold a job. (Kyle)
Yeah, of course. They use aliases…. It’s definitely like,
it’s more of a griftery kind of a space. So, we’ve talked in previous videos about
how to cope while dating a narcissist. If you find yourself dating
a sociopath or a psychopath is there any coping or you just got to get out? You’re in trouble. It could be actually be a very dangerous relationship. (Kyle)
Sounds like it. Yeah, in fact you know,
even with the narcissistic piece, um, I do, I’ve done research and work in the
area of domestic violence, or what’s also called intimate partner violence, most people who perpetrate domestic violence are either narcissistic or psychopathic
and so, so there’s a danger there. In other words, they will dispose of you
if you get in their way. I want to share a story with you to get your feedback. This was told to me by a friend and she said in college she dated a guy for a year but the guy started to get just a little weird and they broke up. For the next year he courted her and did everything she wished he had done the first year – showed up on time, brought her gifts, blah blah blah. They started dating again. He was perfect for a year. He…they went to Thanksgiving at her family’s house, he was perfect to her parents,
just became the perfect man for her because he knew what she wanted.
And after a year, on their one-year anniversary he broke up with her and said, “I’ve been playing you this whole time because I wanted to crush your heart. (Dr. Ramani)
Yep. I, I am not actually behaving this way.”
Or, “This isn’t real, I’ve been faking it for a year
just so I can crush you.” Would that be a psych…. That’s more psychopathic, you know or sociopathic is more likely, you know, um. But if they have no empathy then– why would they want to hurt somebody? Because, because, empathy, empathy is not,
empathy is a positive emotion. Okay, wanting to hurt someone
is a very antagonistic emotion. Wanting to hurt someone at some level might even give them a little pleasure– power for sure. It’s, it’s interesting to me that
someone can not be empathetic but then want to hurt somebody because to me you would have to have the empathy in order to even know
what it’s like to hurt somebody. (Dr. Ramani)
No, there’s a difference between
empathy and understanding: (Kyle)
Oh, that makes sense. (Dr. Ramani)
It’s like that’s why psychopaths make great salesmen, because they understand the person, they can read a person and immediately say I got his vulnerability. I’m gonna make him buy a car. (Kyle)
Got it Psychopaths are great salesmen. Salesman for cars, timeshares, all that, all of that stuff where they’re upselling and almost
taking advantage of someone sometimes, making them take on more money and cost of something than they really should. But no, no, no, it’s that he was
able to be superficially charming Psychopaths and sociopaths and narcissists
make great chameleons. They’re definitely able to change the situation to get what they want and psychopaths in particular and sociopaths are, they, they view the world as an instrument to fulfill their desires. (Kyle)
Mmm That’s really what they’re about,
which is what… it’s awful because they’re going to often discard a partner when they don’t have much use for them or expect them to have a very specific role, so, they may have married her and she may have had their kids, now, she’s gonna have to put up with their affairs because they want something else and too bad if you don’t like it, this is the new world order and I will destroy you in court. It’s that kind of thing. That is insane. (Dr. Ramani)
Yeah, it’s chilling. I want to leave it right there. I have learned more about sociopaths and psychopaths than I ever thought possible. Make sure you check out as well our discussion
about narcissism with Dr. Ramani Thanks again for being here. For more information on all things mental health,
make sure you go to There you can curate your own list of your preferred mental health topics. It will be delivered to you exactly when you need it. I’m Kyle Kittleson. Thanks for watching. [percussive electronic music riff]

100 thoughts on “Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences

  1. Do you know any narcissists, psychopaths, or sociopaths?

    Check out our Premium Original series on all 3 types here:

  2. Well, why wouldn't you keep calm if a dead body was in the trunk? It's not like the dead body is going anywhere.. It's dead and not making any noise and as long as it doesn't smell it really shouldn't be a problem.. Just get that thing chopped up and dumped in the ocean and you'll be fine. What's all the fuss about? A live body is more problematic…

  3. Interviewer did great. The trolls dont like that he isnt actually a psychopath himself. He is a good listener and actively participating in the interview

  4. She's mostly educated only on the criminal psychopath… Also, highly functional psychopaths have much more empathy than the general population; it's called Cognitive Empathy. The Empathy she is describing that Psychopaths lack is emotional empathy. Psychopaths couldn't play these mental gymnastic "games" without having much more cognitive empathy than the average person. Psychopaths need it to size people up before they come out to play, and they use their extraordinary amount of cognitive empathy to do so. Also psychopaths most definitely do feel stress and anxiety, that is not shut off… They just get thrilled by it (Type A's, they thrive under a lot of stress). View it kind of like how some girls like to have a little bit of pain in the bedroom. It's weird, and most don't understand how, it but it's real.

  5. Great. I'm married to a covert narcissist and a sociopath is chasing me. I'm screwed. I need counseling.

  6. I fell for a psychopath and when I called him out for being a bitch he said "Eve took the apple." creepiest shit I ever heard I'm out

  7. Clintons and Obama are psychopath……. most of the Liberals are sociopath and the Demonrats have a lot of both descriptions.

  8. Psicologist are perfect they think but are the most idiot people in this world they havent life hate life they no have kids

  9. But does anyone have the balls to say if they are a psychopath or a sociopath? Now that takes guts, they all like to hide

  10. That must be all the Democrats because they love destroying people without a thought, as they do to President Trump. President Trump cares far too much, Hillary and Bill are for sure Psychopaths.

  11. When you learn how prevalent psychopathy is in the society, you also realize that 1) you probably know at least three psychopaths; 2) the majority of psychopaths don't commit grave crimes. They're probably di**s, but no serial killers. This can't be stressed enough in the context of human rights and stigma. This video definitely failed this subtle test.

  12. She said that psychopath is born so how could their parents know that their child is psychopath genetic and how to psychologically cure it. Does it meant that the parents are also psyhopathics ? . As people grow and influenced by their environtments can the psychopath who is genetically born become born made psychopath and called psycho-sociopath ?

  13. The guy led her on for a year to hurt her because she hurt his EGO and already low self-esteem. That’s what would make a psychopath go through that trouble to hurt someone.

  14. 3:46 not pet like cats and dogs. His weird ass faces to her talking though 1:58. Bro THE DUDES FACE LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO SHUT DOWN 2:16

  15. I feel so bad that such an intelligent person has to talk to such an absolute dumbass, who just asks the most Dumbass fricking questions

  16. damn, im questioning myself. I've wanted to hurt people, i've gone to some crazy ass lengths…i think i should see the doc again. fuuuuuck, im also a fantastic salesman and tbh using someones emotions/body language was one of my tricks, for example a customer with baggy clothes would come in, that'd tell me gangster or skater, at work id offer mafia/gta5 or tony hawk! the goofy gangsters or people that were like into the style but not about the life, id offer saints row… im a goddamn pro at reserves and subs when i worked at gamestop D:

  17. Was recently diagnosed with aspd and wanted to see what other people say on it or how true it is to me. This fucking wanker doing the interview makes it impossible to watch.

  18. That story about the boyfriend is a Ted Bundy thing. Then he went and killed 35 women who looked like the girlfriend

  19. hmmm, I thought I was a narcissist, and then at the beginning of the video i understood I am a psychopath. But after watching it entirely, no doubt I'm actually a sociopath

  20. So when you go out on a date with someone ask them to open up their trunk to see if they have a dead body and when the date
    asks why tell them "Oh I wanted to make sure you weren't a psychopath."

  21. I'm confused now because I am all of these things ….I dont want to hurt anyone but if I rationalize a supposedly "wrong" thing? I am not bothered in the least …like her example of breaking traffic laws ….SCREW traffic laws…if there are no cops …and IF I can realistic run from a ticket? I'm GONE dude! Same with a lot of other stuff too ….And btw there should be some equally nasty terms for all the mindless people that have no brain of their own, who do what is "right" simply because some law makers and committees of do gooders and moron news casters say is right

  22. What is Dexter then he has a instinct urge to kill and he starts actually "feeling emotion" at a point and his sorta reason why he is the wa he is because his mother was murdered which sounds like a sociopath but I believe he faked his emotion until he made it real and his brother became a sociopath the ice truck killer and that's why he was eventually caught and killed by him

  23. sociopaths can still feel some emotions, like they can create relationships but its very hard, psychopaths are emotionless, so sociopaths are not completely emotionless, but psychopaths lack the ability to feel things like empathy.

  24. Los Alamos New Mexico is one of the worst. The town is full of all these types. The community is hateful, bigoted and homophobic. They do nothing but gossip and backstab everyone and it doesn't seem anyone is off limits, even their friends. The people don't seem do have any sense of conscience or loyalty to anything that really matter. Just a horrible, greedy little town.

  25. I wanna know if there are good natured psychopaths. I mean they basically lack apathy but they know whether something is good or bad right? They just dont care enough. But why does their work always have to fall into something terrible? Like is it necessary for them to always side to evil?

  26. The idea of giving the partner a "very specific role" intrigues me so much. I often felt like, after I finally uncovered the betrayal my husband had been executing against me for years, that he still fully expected me to get in line, take on my new role as a constant source to him, take care of the kids, and be a part of his beloved image. Nobody talks about that. I would like to know more in depth.

  27. Life would be easier if psychopaths had some sort of visibly distinguishing mark on them that alerts everyone else what they’re dealing with lol
    Life ain’t that easy though; it truly is an enemy within the gates.

  28. Not “all” psychopaths are bad or do bad things, some are actually good people. It’s really hard to explain plus a psychopath can be made depending on the environment they came from or been thru.

  29. The interviewer gets less annoying towards the second half of the interview…. it's worth watching til the end IMO

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  31. I really find this interesting, I’m now considering taking psychology in college. Like I can do what I really love and passionate about

  32. I was diagnosed at a very young age as a sociopath however I've always enjoyed the traits of psychopathy and ADHD I don't understand why some people say that you cannot be both

  33. Many experts disagree with her on the fact that psychopaths are born … the environment a child is raised in is crucial in the development of their psyche…..

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