ITALY VS USA | FAMILIES



hey YouTube and welcome back to my channel today I'm going to be talking to you guys about the main differences I've noticed to be between okay I can edit a lien families the main difference between American and Italian families is just about that in Italy la familia is much more I think important in Italy the family is something that you always want to be near you always want to honor you always want to be on good terms the family is gonna come first in America you can see some variations families don't usually like stay in the same town forever they usually sprout all-to-all throughout the country when you're 18 you go to college you go away and so I don't know you don't really have to care that much about what your family thinks a lot of people think differently from their family it's very um individual it's not uncommon for a girlfriend to not like the mother of the boy or something like that and you can kind of get over that in America for some Italy I don't think that would work out the same people really respect the opinions of their family people really give the opinions of their family a lot of weight that being said I would say that family in Italy is also a lot more traditional it's very common to see a mother a father and a few children usually more than one but not always they call it here the money OB uncle family like the perfect the the mother father child but it started to change a little bit divorce rates are a bit higher you're starting to see more single-parent households a lot of things happened in Italy a lot later than in America for example you know divorce was illegal here illegal until the 70 women didn't have the right to vote until forties so everything kind of happened a little bit later in Italy so I wasn't really surprised at the fact that in America were finally just now starting to accept these more liberal ideas where you know the dad can stay at home mom can work or co-parenting's mixed families we're just getting used to those things now they've happened recently rather recently so I'm not surprised that in Italy where they always seem to be a little bit more traditional than us things are happening a bit slower here but I'd have to say the statistics show that there have been a lot of changes in the past ten years twenty years women are working a lot more than they used to all children are starting to move a lot farther away from their parents a lot of these things are because of economic um opportunities at or lack thereof in Italy really people will go where there is work and if there's no work where you come from you're gonna move if there's no work in Italy a lot of kids leave Italy that's a huge problem that they're facing right now young people leaving the country so a lot these things are changing but in general I would say that Italy is very traditional I say Italian families are a bit obsessed with moms Italy is on a whole nother level I know that it's just it's a typical Italian stereotype that for example Italian men are all my own and they're all depending on their moms I'll live with their moms until they're like 30 it cetera et cetera most of these are stereotypes it's not as expatriates into other European countries a large amount of time and do still live with their mothers but it's not everybody's like I think the figure was like 30% all right so get cut them some slack but that being said the mother is a really important figure in the Italian on culture you can see it everywhere in the law the mother like it's everything and it's interesting to see it played out because I mean from an outside perspective I do think that Italy is very patriarchal is there's a lot of US cities well here you guys I know that people want to find me on it but I'm just saying from my perspective it seems so and so when you have that you have a patriarchal society but they value the mother so much it puts women in a really interesting position I don't know because on the one hand yeah things are really fair here for women in certain respects but on the other hand they get a lot of perks because they're the mother for example if you look at paid parental leave Italy has something like two months where you're literally not allowed to go to work you have to stay home and it's paid they also have in divorces if you if you fought mother some children for that Italian man your thing ever okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit but the laws are very slanted in favor of women for mothers remember we were talking about this send me a couple of videos back Italy the home of the Vatican and the Pope they have a whole special category of curse words called miss Damien and pretty much anything with God and a negative word is abyss time yet well wouldn't you know that anything with Madonna and a bad word is also at a segment and you know who Madonna is she's the mom of Jesus I've never really heard anybody use Jesus an abyss damia though I'm sure they exist but Madonna is a pretty like popular and powerful stand yet that you cannot use when you're insulting people you cannot insult them mother because that's like that's like one of the highest insults that's an insult on a whole nother level if you want an insult at a time you can't say your mom you have to say to us today I love your sister because if you say mom it's like no Italians put their mom on a really high pedestal and so you know I wouldn't mind having Italian kids because they're gonna worship another difference that I noted with Italians they're very formal as well meals for example Italian families will eat together they'll they'll set the table with a tablecloth they'll have plates and cops all set everybody will sit down eat together then the mother will take away the the plates that I mean that's just my observation like the mother still usually does cook even if she works she'll come back and she'll cook she'll set the table maybe with the help of some kids everybody will Eve she'll take the dishes and put them in the dishwasher and I also thought it was interesting that this kind of transcends socioeconomic backgrounds like if you have poor tines and richer times they might do it a little bit differently but they're still going to have that same system of everybody sitting around at a set table and eating together as an American that sounds like something out of a rich person's movie that sounds like something that are rich in at least do I mean my family my mom my mom worked all day and so we would make our own dinner so that mom wouldn't have to work all day and then come back home and work some more in terms of like cooking dinner for us when we were all capable of cooking our own dinner the family wouldn't all eat together because we all had different schedules some people worked some people play sports like everybody was doing a different thing so there was no there was no certainty that everybody was going to be home at 6:00 for dinner or everybody was going to be home at 1:00 for lunch so that was also a really interesting thing to see like Italians need to be a lot more formal and traditional I love and I hate how Italians treat their old people okay I only hate it because of the effect that it has on taxes there are so many tap the tax for the pension in Italy is so freakin high and there's a lot of underlying economic and cultural reasons for it but day but let's talk about the positives and what I love about how much they love their old people I like how in Italy if you have a son or daughter you don't have to worry about going ending up in a convalescent home because your children are going to take care of you it's pretty much expected that your children are going to take care of you putting your parent in a convalescent home is kind of like taboo here where as an American becoming more and more that it's becoming more and more the norm personally I wouldn't do that but I feel like that's the Jamaican in me and not the American in me and it's funny because me and my friend were talking about this last night we were talking about pension funds and she was saying that I should start playing for attention I'm like oh god I need a pensioner without at least two kids and they're going to take care of me and she's like that's such an Italian thing to say and you know what it is Italians really value their elders it seems that people here really respect old people in society and when your grandparents aren't able to take care of themselves anymore it's kind of just an automatic thing that they would come to live with you whereas in America is it sometimes I feel like this could be the parents don't want to burden the kids the old parents don't want to burden the kids sometimes the parents might live in one state and the kid might live on the other side of the country so logistically it just may be the parent doesn't want to move across the country there are a lot of different things at play but I feel like yeah that's a major difference between Italy and America I love how much Italians value their old people I kind of hate it now as a young person because I feel really undervalued in a country like Italy but I know that when I'm old I'm going to love it perhaps it's just in America that we think it's okay to push our parents off to convalescent homes but I don't know I wouldn't do that I wouldn't do that I would think that if none of my three younger brothers and sisters and my two older step siblings could take care of our parents yes then they can come stay with me you know I'm not going to put you in a home mom don't worry I've been to Italy and I saw the lucky I saw that I should value my mother those are the main differences that I come between American families and Italian families at the end of the day I don't think there are that any differences because families are families and everybody loves their family okay maybe not everybody but most people love their family is there anything that I missed have you guys lived with an Italian family or an American family noticed anything strange or have you seen any other calls cross-cultural dip call have you seen any other cross-cultural differences involving any other countries let me know in the comments below I love having discussions with you guys also in the comments below leave me some more ideas of Italy vs. USA videos I know that the topic is pretty much endless but I want to hear what you guys want to see I hope that you guys like this video as always if you're new to my channel you should stick around you should subscribe and I will see you guys in my next one mmm

28 thoughts on “ITALY VS USA | FAMILIES

  1. You should have named it :Italian/Indian families v/s American families
    i'm coming here right after watching Godfather part 1,I find a lot of similarities b/w an Indian family and an Italian family.Worshipping Mothers is so true here and also is the Old people,they simply live with the family and sending them to Old age homes,is frowned upon here 🙂

  2. I’m fluent in Italian and English and when I went to a school in America for a year we were told to say some things about ourselves so I said “Im Italian” and some other stuff. One kid sat next to me asked “well if you’re Italian then why don’t you have an accent? You look kinda Italian I guess but you don’t sound Italian.” I just looked over at him and said “Ti sembro Italiano adesso, Stronzo dalla mentalità ristretta” which means “do I sound Italian to you now you small minded asshole” he just stared at me blankly and another kid asked what I said and I just said “oh I said I am Italian..”

  3. A me anche se dicono “ Tua sorella è …” mi arrabbio, perché non c’entrano nulla, se parli con me insulta piuttosto me non i miei familiari

  4. I am UK born and have Italian blood x I would live in Italy and have their values and food much more than bloody America !!

  5. Thank you Tia for addressing not only stereotypes but also complexity, diversity and contradictions, and to point out how patriarchal Italian society is if compared to other so-called western countries.
    Thank you also for talking about present day young Italian emigrants: I wish our politicians were as aware as you are that emigrants are now statistically more numerous that immigrants from abroad, but unfortunately the government prefers to keep exploiting xenophobic propaganda to hide that they are not taking care of occupational problems.
    Actually Italy is going through big social changes.
    Population is growing statistically older and older, since one in 4 Italians is over 65, and more people is going to end their days in a residential care for elderly people, but that's something we do mostly when the elder needs so intense medical care that it would be impossible to do the same at home.
    Also,regarding eating together, it's not very common to do it at lunch, but we just can't conceive having dinner separately! It is the most precious moment of the day!
    Also, many people who lives more or less far from their parents still visit them weekly for Sunday lunch, even if many people find it heavy and annoying, they feel compelled to do it, and if you are in a couple, you usually have to balance between both families.
    I never said a bestemmia in my life but I can't believe other languages don't have them! Come on there must be!

  6. Una cosa molto sbagliata però è che in Italia le donne sono, non voglio dire costrette ma comunque spinte a diventare madri. Anche in famiglia se tu a 15 anni dici che non vuoi avere figli ti dicono che ora sei piccola e che da grande capirai come se fosse l'unico scopo della nostra vita. Non sempre è così, le cose stanno sicuramente cambiando ma nei piccoli paesi questa realtà si sente ancora molto.

  7. se posso permettermi,penso che delle volte,generalizzi e fai informazione sbagliata che rischia di aumentare gli stereotipi.Io ti scrivo non Perchè sono un "hater",ma Perchè tengo al mio paese.Dici che i giovani Italiani vanno via dal paese per cercare lavoro all'estero.Dovresti specificare che vanno via dalle regioni del Sud Italia,come è sempre stato,infatti la maggior parte degli italoamericani,sono sel sud Italia.al nord Italia il tasso di disoccupazione è molto basso.Non rendi giustizia ad una parte del paese.Visto che hai deciso di avere un canale che parla delle differenze tra il tuo paese e l'Italia e parli spesso di tradizioni o situazioni italiane,dovresti secondo me,essere più precisa e viaggiare in tutto il paese,perché l'Italia,non è nata 2 o 300 anni fa,ma c'è da sempre ed è molto ma molto diversa da una regione all'altra.Se ti interessa,ti mando dei link ,che ti possono dare una idea molto più chiara,di un paese di sessanta milioni di persone. P.S…..Al di là di tutto,complimenti per il canale.

  8. Dal immagine di copertina pensavo che avresti parlato di come cucinano le mamme americane e italiane XD comunque è un po’ vergognoso restare a casa con i propri va bene a 20 anni ma dopo i 25 diventa insostenibile è vero che dipende dal lavoro ma comunque nn puoi restare a vita a mantenerti dai tuoi

  9. Da Italiano penso che il poter permettersi di cenare insieme sia oltre che piacevole molto importante a livello sociale. E' l'occasione di parlare insieme dei momenti salienti della giornata di ognuno di noi, di cercare eventuali soluzioni ai problemi, confrontandosi e utile per programmare gli impegni del giorno dopo, è quello che in inglese viene chiamato "BRIEFING", solo che noi oltre all'ambito lavorativo e militare, lo riteniamo costruttivo anche nell'ambito famigliare, per pianificare al meglio le nostre vite.

  10. Ciao Tia, ho scoperto da poco i tuoi video e li sto trovando molto interessanti. La mamma, la famiglia vengono tenuti molto in considerazione proprio per un fattore anche storico. Noi siamo stati nella nostra storia un paese sempre diviso in regioni e soprattutto INVASO dai paesi confinanti più e più volte. Siamo stati veramente uniti in passato e "potenti" solo con l'Impero romano, dopo è stato un continuo passaggio di stranieri che conquistavano e distruggevano. È una questione anche di sopravvivenza.
    L'America invece non è mai stato un paese che ha subito delle invasioni, ma anzi voi siete stati gli invasori. Questo si ripercuote molto sulle tradizioni che ci sono

  11. So funny to hear you speak of two months of maternity leave as a "wow" thing. I guess for somebody coming from the US two months is "wow", but looking at it from a European perspective, that is no "wow" at all. I am Italian and live in Germany, and I have been living here for 4 years now, probably going to stay here for many more (for ever? Who knows, but yes, it could likely be forever). Paid maternity leave is 12 months here, but the mother is nowhere near the divinity and controlling entity it is in Italy. Speaking of "controlling" entity: I think there is one thing about Italian culture that almost nobody speaks about. Everyone knows the "mammone" stereotype, but nobody ever comments on the fact that Italian parents are crazily attached to their children, in a way that sometimes they would be happy seeing their children never growing up, and, indeed, they sometimes end up doing little things to actually prevent them from growing up. Many 30-year-old people live with their parents because they "cannot afford" living on their own. But, honestly speaking, there are many who can afford it, and when they finally tell their parents "bye mom and dad, you know what, I can afford living like an adul!"……the answer many time is:""why do you want to spend your salary paying a rent when you can stay with us for free?", completely ignoring the natural need of a 30-year-old to just live like the adult she/he is.Of course, these daughters and sons ultimately leave home, but not without quite a bit of discussions to "explain" their parents this "weird" thing that adults need to live like adults even when they are not married yet.

  12. I know a lot of people working for older people 24hrs .i meant they live with the anziani considering they have children. I think Italians taking care of their old parents depend also what is the civil status of their children if they are single and /or if they are not working. Otherwise , a lot of old people live by themselves in family house with the BADANTE or in the care home. But I agree, in general the Italians make sure that they takecare of their old parents in a way they possible can either they hire a caregiver or sent them in a care home but they are always ready to help! Just talking by experienced in this sector!

  13. to answer your question : "have you ever lived in italy? what are the differences?" well yes, someone from my family is married to italian and lives there and I have been to visits, and honestly, I havent noticed any significant differences. I´m from Slovakia…. I dont know maybe its because Im european and you guys from USA get more of a culture shock… the only thing that I had a hard time getting used to in italy as a slovak heavy coffee drinker, is the italian coffee culture. I was craving coffee all day long. In my country, we are used to have a big strong long black coffee usually turkish style and sit down and relax and chat with somebody while drinking it. At least an hour long session … Its like a ceremony for us, a sacred moment of the day. Italians? they shoot their coffee in, and are ready for the day. I think I was caffeine deprived, even though they say their espresso is strong, its just little water in it. well, I didnt feel it. I almost fell asleep. otherwise, they are the same drivers as us, they are always late just like us, they speak with their hands just like us, they speak loudly when passionate debate just like us, they greet all their neighbours just like us, they have the same faith just like us , italian grandmas? they are totally the same here in slovakia! 😂 sunday meals with the whole family around one table? just like us, mafia? sad but true for us too …. should I continue? I personally found more similarities than differences. Greetings to italy 🇮🇹 from slovakia 🇸🇰 and also to the US people 🇺🇸

  14. I agree with the most part when US families don't sit at dinner tables and etc. But in rural Southern (USA) culture with Irish background family is everything you are preach at a young age family is all you got in this world outside of God lol When going up is was yes sir no sir and getting up for your grandparents so they can sit down. And yes going to church is not a choice We have a take care my people mentally but this is dying fast even down here but great video

  15. Guarda io sono cresciuto in tutti i due modi , sono cresciuto in un quartiere con persone di topo una volta , e poi ho visto e navigato sopra questo cambiamento che arriva fino a oggi , preferivo le regole di prima , preferivo tutto di prima , sono cresciuto senza PlayStation o altro ,i giochi li facevamo e costruivamo noi , e cosi avevamo un casinò di giochi,ma quello che avevamo di più era inventiva e fantasia , che oggi non hanno perché tutto e già composto ,non devi neanche pensare o immaginare, .smontavamo e aggiustavamo bici,motorini già all età di 10 anni ,per noi era pure un gioco smontare e rimontare bici e moto , ,oggi sono morti

  16. I American and I love my mom dearly!!!! I will also defend and protect her and would never admit her to a nursing home. Unfortunately, none of my other 6 sidling seem to care for her …….. I’m in a lost for wards.

  17. Allora se si vuole insultare qualcuno è indifferente citare la madre o la sorella, per quanto ne so, sempre che la famiglia si tocca. Personalmente lo vedo molto questo attaccamento alla famiglia: io tutte le domeniche faccio pranzo con la famiglia di mamma e cena con quella di papà ( abitiamo tutti nella stessa città) e minimo una volta all'anno vediamo parenti anche di secondo/terzo grado. Penso che dipenda molto anche dal retroterra culturale. La famiglia di mio padre ha un'origine contadina e abitavano tutti nella tipica casa colonica (mio padre è del '63 e ci ha vissuto fino all'età di sette anni). Ciò significava vivere in una casa con il nonno e i suoi fratelli (le sorelle da sposate ovviamente stavano nella casa del marito) e le rispettive famiglie. Mio padre viveva tranquillamente con i cugini come vicini di camera: il risultato ovviamente è un rafforzamento dei legami. Con il passare delle generazioni penso che questi si perderanno (come sta avvenendo ora).
    Per quanto riguarda la figura della mamma e della sua autorità in casa, penso che vari da persona a persona: da me a pranzo cucina mio padre e a cena mia madre, la la lavastoviglie a pranzo la carica mia madre e a cena mio padre. Equa divisione dei compiti, come è giusto che sia.
    Per i pasti, da noi gli orari sono molto flessibili (la cena può essere tra le sette di sera e le dieci passate) proprio per questo cerchiamo di farli sempre tutti insieme (tranne la colazione).
    Come hai detto la figura dell'anziano è molto rispettata e questo penso che sia da tradizione per vari motivi. Per prima cosa molti hanno sempre vissuto in casa con i propri figli e le loro famiglie o lì vicino: qui è usuale avere la casa di proprietà della famiglia, il padre prevede di cedere al figlio in eredità una casa/appartamento (per quanto ne so io fuori dalle grandi città si preferisce avere la casa piuttosto che affittarla). Inoltre la casa di riposo, oltre a costare troppo, spesso aggrava la condizione dell'anziano: con un minimo di demenza stare a lungo fuori dalla propria casa, dalla propria routine è deleterio (penso anche a quegli anziani che, vittime del sisma, hanno visto la loro casa distrutta e si sono tolti la vita). Per questo, dove sia possibile, si preferisce mettere una badante, che sia presente magari anche tutta la notte, piuttosto che spostarli da casa propria.
    Spero di aver chiarito un po' le cose, perdona la risposta lunga, ma il video meritava
    (Ps. Non ho detto nulla sulla questione "maschi italiani mammoni", perché lo credo più uno stereotipo: se si vive a contatto con una persona che un minimo stimi è ovvio che quella ti influenzi – specie poi se si impiccia di tutto, rischia di convincere per sfinimento – )

  18. Whats so wrong that children's supposed take care of their parents!After what they went through! Their growing up! Its called family!Thats why latinos country worship family!

  19. Io mi rispecchio molto di più nella famiglia americana, ho genitori divorziati, inoltre mia mamma lavora fino alle 8 di sera e di conseguenza pranzo e ceno quasi sempre sola (in inverno capita di mangiare con mamma). Sinceramente non mi lamento e anzi mi reputo molto più indipendente di certi miei amici che senza la mammina non riescono manco ad allacciarsi le scarpe da soli.

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