ISTP-ISTJ Comparisons: Socialization

I recently realized that even though I've always considered myself to be an extreme introvert you know in the sense that I always score 100% or near 100 percent I on every MBTI test turns out my ISTJ girlfriend actually has less tolerance for social activities than I do you know like I used to attend parties occasionally you know especially when I was in my 20s and 30s you know activities organized by you know my young adult singles group at my church or whatever and you know I I enjoyed attending those you know just because they were rare and you know they were just interesting experiences for me my ISTJ girlfriend pretty much dreads parties that are coming up as I've gotten older I've had less and less desire to you know to go out and socialize you know cuz it's like been there done that my girlfriend never had that desire you know she always prefers to just kind of be a hermit or just occasionally go out with like one friend but then it got me thinking you know that actually makes sense when you think about the ice TJ versus ice tepee cognitive functions specifically they're auxilary function which is the extrovert of function for introverts for ICJ's and INTJs it's T extrovert of thinking and that's the function that likes to organize stuff and accomplish tasks efficiently but you know when you're out socializing it's basically like a waste of time because you're not really accomplishing anything now is TPS and isfps have se extroverted sensing as their auxilary function and that basically just enjoys observing and experiencing stuff so you know that's that's why for me it's sometimes fun to just like do something unusual you know like just hang out with a group of people you know even if I'm not like directly interacting with them the whole time you know I like to just kind of sit and observe listen to conversations or you know you know I might just decide to like kind of go off and look at something else or something the point is I like to be doing something if I'm given such an opportunity more days than not I would prefer to be alone but I occasionally enjoy going out and doing stuff either by myself or with people now the other thing that my girlfriend doesn't like doing is being amongst a lot of people she doesn't know now for me that can be hit and miss sometimes I might get lucky and enjoy the activity you know like for instance if there's swing dancing or if I find one or two people that I just happen to enjoy talking to you know just they just happen to be interesting for whatever reason and then there are times when I go to a party and then I just end up thinking why the heck did I come here but my girlfriend is just generally not into parties and there's really nothing that she gets out of it other than getting to see that one good friend that invited her and that's the other interesting thing she still goes to those things even if she dreads them you know it's out of a sense of duty just like a typical ISTJ you know me I don't want to go something I just don't go and you know and I used to just kind of give lame excuses like oh I'm busy or or I would just kind of like kind of avoid the subject or it was like a group invitation that would just ignore it but nowadays I had no trouble just being honest like and now I'll pass now for her the combination of being ice TJ and Enneagram type 9 also makes it difficult because it's like well she doesn't want to cause a conflict by expressing a difference of opinion with the people that she's socializing with or you know just getting invited to the party in the first place you know she doesn't want to offend somebody by like turning them down and not really having a good excuse so if she doesn't have a good excuse that also more likely just end up giving in and just agreeing to go and then you know she'll just show up make sure that people see that she's there and then you know talk to a few people and then find an opportunity to leave and you know I used to do the same thing you know I'm also a type 9 I also have this tendency to want to avoid that sort of conflict and so I don't know if somebody invites me to something I don't have a good excuse yeah that is my kind of my natural tendency but as I've gotten older I've forced myself to get out too to overcome that tendency because you know in my mind you know my TI is thinking you know why should I have to go to something that I don't want to go to is there is there gonna be consequence if I don't go you know so I'm able to reason these things and so it's it's easier for me to make a conscious decision that you know if I really don't want to go to this thing then I just won't go and somebody gets offended because I decided I didn't want to go to something that's on them why should I care is TJ is less likely thinking along those lines because they would don't just do whatever they've always done but in any case it's probably good thing that that my girlfriend and I have met after I already gotten all that partying out of my system because it's like yeah now I prefer to stay home she prefers to stay home so you know we can just always hang out together and not feel obligated to go out hang out with people she doesn't want to face people over telling them that that she doesn't want to go then she can just let me do it and uh as for New Year's Eve it looks like the two of us are gonna be spending a quiet evening together and celebrating the new year so looking forward to that and that's all I'm gonna say about that pick this record my video because this is TJ's is the Nutcracker ballet performance figured this would be the perfect time but apparently she just sat down the show hasn't started yet now she's messaging me showing me pictures of the stage as if I care about that

5 thoughts on “ISTP-ISTJ Comparisons: Socialization

  1. Parties appeal to a young ISTP's sense of adventure. When you go to a party as an young adult all types of things can happen because everyone is young and unpredictable. Mature adult parties are painfully predictable and boring.

  2. well put and noticed the same what do u do if ur istp and your istj partner wont listen and understand your side or your needs

  3. Question. If you're an istp in mbti terms, do you consider yourself a socionics istp also or istj? So far ive gathered 75% of istp mbti are istp in socionics too. Would be nice to see which you consider yourself to be

  4. For me it's more like,do i want to go? Like for example,christmas parties.I'll usually go,not out of a sense of duty but for a chance to keep in touch with my family.Even if it's not always interesting to chat with them.Which is usually why i get bored,i tend to enjoy more intellectual conversations and my relatives all are mostly sensor types.

    Now i don't mean to say all sensors are like this,but the ones i know tend to not develop/go along with those types of topics.

    You know what? come to think of it,i may have had some Te moments as well.I mean,i could understand her perspective on it but really it's usually not something i'd prefer to base my decisions on.

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