You are a sick, sick, twisted, demented, absolutely disgusting human being. You know, that’s the honest reaction invoked. And about I would wager seventy three point… around seven… maybe eight percent… …of all human beings who have watched my content. That’s based on a case study of
about a dozen people who ever take a few. But if you don’t believe me take a look at the reactions… …to what some people think of my fingernails. This is just what I saw in the last… …I would even wager fifteen minutes when I just went through the comments. Because I knew they’d be there. So take a look at this. “Damn son them some long ass finger nails” “CUT YOUR DAM NAILS erth…” Now that one I don’t know what the last part was about, but I could understand at least the meaning of it. “Cut your nails brother” “So creepy your fingernails dude !!!!” Now that person was really committed into it, because you could see by all the exclamation points
they meant what they were saying. “I opened youtube on my phone because I was watching this on a playstation…” —the background info right there— “…just to tell you to cut your fingernails.” Now that is the ideal anti fingernail
comp comment right there. It gives you that background information, so you get to know the person who is giving those remarks. It gives you that sense of dedication, commitment and sincerity to the cause. This person said, “The pale skin… the long, hideous fingernails… the oversized suits hanging off your skeletal frame… You’re like a fast-food Nosferatu. And I love you. Keep up the food work.” Oh, they almost got me.
I thought he’s gonna say “Keep up the good work. “Well… Alright, I’ll take that as a compliment so thank you there. And very descriptive. I think you should pursue
a career in the literary field if you haven’t already. This guy says, with a little bit more… …more directness. “You get all dapper and made up, but can you cut your f*****g nails? It’s absolutely disgusting.” And then this… I don’t know. I don’t know why that one’s there. No, I never did that. That’s not a frozen puppy. It’s not even a taxidermy… …chihuahua. That’s just a… …chihuahua figurine. No, it’s just in that position there. I don’t know why that one got put in a mix like that. Anyway after reviewing… …previous footage. Because… …I’m really serious about this issue. I’d determined I didn’t have enough proof to prove this point, so here’s a few more. This individual he says that “He could kill a puma with those fingernails.” Well, that’s quite an assertion. I don’t know why he really picked up a puma of all the things that there are out there
I don’t really know why he… …picked that animal. “Your fingernails look red too.” Well, I think they look more of
a pinkish color to me but tomayto, tomahto. This guy says “His hands look like a dead person’s hands. There is no color… …under his fingernails. He isn’t really even alive.” Well, that’s odd. Wait a minute. This guy says my fingernails look red. And this guy says there’s no color under them. Boi… What a paradox that is. I wonder what they really are. Does anyone know what they really are? This guy says… and this goes to show the emotional impact… … of long fingernails on some I’m afraid. “Why are your fingernails so long brah? Why have you done this to me? I used to love you. Now I cry every night
ever since I saw those fingernails.” Why!? I don’t know. I just keep them long.
That’s why. This person just keeps it straight to the point
kind of like another one a little bit back. “His fingernails are infuriating. That’s all.” Well at least you’re keeping it straight into the point. I don’t know if that is a picture of fingernails… …on your avatar there. I don’t know what that is. But well, thank you, thank you
for being very concise in that regard. And here on a final note, a “triple play” as they say. Three in a row. First guy starts at off by saying “Your fingernails are freakishly large.
They almost go to the first knuckle man. I just feel sick typing this.” Well, I wouldn’t say that. They really go to the first knuckle. Maybe they go past a little bit past the second one. But I think saying that they go to the first one
is an underestimate if you ask me. The second guy said—kind of
like the first continuing with the emotional impact theorem— “I’m not sure if I could continue to watch your videos
if you won’t cut your fingernails.” And this person has an interesting approach to it
because they’re threatening. You know, they’re giving the threat. they’re saying, “Listen, I’m not gonna watch you anymore. Unless it’s clip clip.” So they’re threatening. And then this guy says, I don’t know how he got this. I don’t know. I don’t know where he lives I don’t know if he has a camera somewhere in the house watching me or what. But he says “They grow longer when he feasts at night.” And then there’s a picture of a box next to that. But I don’t know how he knows that. I’m kind of creeped out because I don’t know how anyone would know that information. You didn’t see anything, but that… …None of it’s true. They don’t and that’s all that there is to it. Title card. And while I try my best to just ignore those comments, blow them off, brush them off or even have a little fun with them. Sometimes I end up asking myself the question: Why? Well, all right, that leaves some open ends right there. Some people will be saying, “Yeah, why do you leave your fingernails so long and demented like they are?” But I oftentimes wonder, well, why are some people so abrasive? Just because maybe my fingernails aren’t the way everyone else’s are. Why are so many people seemingly so so furious, so angry, so demanding over such a simple thing as fingernails? It’s one thing, you know, it’s one’s entire… …mindset, That could be possibly damaging or hurt other people or harm others, but this is just fingernails and the length thereof. It’s not like they’re dirty or they’re filthy or they’re… you know, that I use them as a weapon or anything like that. I keep my fingernails long. That’s it. I keep them long, but I try and keep them clean. Like Wolverine… I try to keep them clean and pretty well groomed. As a matter of fact, I do cut my fingernails. I decided to bring these here. I have them with myself: a fingernail trimmer. Right there. That’s pretty cute actually. And I do. I trim my fingernails, you know. It gets long to a point and I’ll trim them. And I have a nail file, which I’ll… …use. I’ll actually… sometimes I could do it really fast believe it or not. Let’s just say maybe the thumb can… …mean a little bit of edging here. Smooth out the edges… Now you’re supposed to move the board, but I can do it other ways. I take good care of them. I make sure that they’re smooth. They’re not too sharp; they’re smooth; but they have some length to it. You might ask yourself, well, why? You know, why do I keep them so long? I mean for what possible reason… …would you ever do… …such a grievous thing? And the honest answer… …has probably stemmed from even my childhood. Because I remember the first time I think I was ever… …asked about my fingernails that I could remember was about 11 years ago. And I’ve always had them long. But I remember someone asked me in school once if I wore fake nails. Yeah, that’s pretty funny. But no I said no, it’s the real deal. You know, they’re legitimate, they’re real, and that’s just how I like them. And that’s my honest answer. The reason why I keep my fingernails so long, and the reason why I always have done so, is simply because that’s that’s just how I like it. It’s a means of personal preference. Now if you’d like, you can play doctor, you know, I’ll gladly…I’ll even encourage it. You would go ahead and make up whatever diagnosis you would like. But when I cut my fingernails really short, I absolutely detest… …the way the skin under the fingernails feels… …having been exposed not to the open air or say, touching this table top or touching anything. I always like there to be a boundary to touch things with the fingernail so that the skin underneath the fingernails… …doesn’t come in contact with anything. That’s honestly why I keep them that long. That’s I’ve kept them my entire life. That’s how I enjoy sporting them. So I said I take good care of them. I clean them. You won’t even believe it, but I even have a brush that I clean them with. I’ll put soap, I’ll brush them. I’ll make sure if they’re clean. I’ll trim them when they get too long, I’ll file them down. And it’s for that reason because otherwise… …have I not the fingernail there, and it says really the skin are really short fingernail. It feels uncomfortable to the point of me physically cringing believe it or not. And that’s why I keep them long. Because otherwise it kind of makes day-to-day activities… …extremely uncomfortable both physically and mentally. So I just let the fingernails grow out. And it’s just a very familiar comfortable feeling, and that’s why I wear them the way that I wear them. You know, as I said, I take good care of them, I manicure them but it’s a matter of… …well anything. Even just grabbing the pen, grabbing the… …fingernail… …improvements devices. Having that boundary they’re touching them with the fingernail, it’s just something in terms of… I don’t even know what you would call it. Not even dexterity, but… Just the way things are I guess. But that’s how I feel comfortable and if it’s not there, I mean, I literally… I completely cringe. I mean maybe if this channel ever gets to a million subscribers, maybe I’ll cut the fingernails. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves with that one. But that’s honestly the reason why… …sometimes I’ll sit there and now sometimes say, you know, I wish some people would be more understanding, and respectful of such a small little thing, you know. I mean, it’s just your fingernails. That’s all that it is. It might not be like everyone else’s. It might not be what’s considered popular, in vogue or something that’s look very highly upon in today’s society. But it’s your fingernails. That’s all what it is to it. Fingernails, it’s not like I’m using them for some sort of nefarious… …crime spree or anything like that. It’s just a matter of personal taste and comfort. I’m never harming anyone with them, you know. That’s all that there is to it. So sometimes it just confuses me as to why some people are so abrasive, and seems so angered and fed up over the fact of something that trivial. I try not to really about the trivial things. If anything I try and savor the small things in life and you know, never really take anything for granted, and I try to think my fingernails. Is that really such a big deal? But I suppose to some it is. Nonetheless, I sometimes wish that people would just be more understanding of such a small thing. That’s just what I do. Yeah… Some people they’re even more understanding of the suits which I mean that is… …someone’s full-blown appearance, but the fingernails, that’s a big no-no, you know. You can… You can do whatever you want, you can think however you want, you could have whatever ideology you want. But when you have long fingernails, that’s it for you, buddy. I just don’t get it. But what can you do right? I’ve come to just accept it. I’ve come to accept the fact that you know, a lot of people they may never understand it. I don’t mind explaining it though, and sometimes the comments… Well, they certainly do make for some entertainment. But that’s just the reason why I keep my fingernails the way that I keep them. That’s all there is to it, ladies and gentlemen. I just keep them longer because that’s how I feel comfortable. That’s it. I’ve tried cutting them before and every single time I feel like I’m squirming in my seat. It’s that uncomfortable to me. So I just leave them comfortable, but I take care of them. That’s all that there is to it. I hope that explained this… …long standing sought-after question, and hopefully having this been explained. All the secrets to the universe will now be unlocked. I imagine maybe about 40 minutes or so, there might be this huge earthquake, and maybe this big box is gonna come out of the ground somewhere, and it’s gonna open up and all of the secrets to the universe are going to be unlocks now thanks to this. Incredible revelation, but that’s all there is to it. Thank you for watching. I hope this answered a few questions. I do wish people were more understanding of things, especially as trivial and and really meaningless is just the fingernails. And focused more on some of the bigger problems we deal with today. But what can you do? Thank you for watching. Hope you got something out of this. Whether it be a few laughs or some insight or anything in between. Thank you for watching ladies and gentlemen, and on a final note if you’re interested, you could find some The Report Of The Week merchandise on our teespring store:
teespring.com/stores/thereportoftheweek You can find many products there. Check it out if you’re interested. Got a little bit of everything. Thank you for watching, take care. I’m your host, The Report Of The Week.