How to Help Someone who has ADHD



哈囉!心心們! (喜歡ADHD腦腦們的人) 我的大多數影片主要在幫助ADHD患者們克服困難 但我知道其中的一些困難 也可能會影響到你 所以我想給你一些關於ADHD大腦的見解 和一些小技巧 使得愛我們及… 和我們相處的人 可以輕鬆一點 所以你要這樣做… [介紹音樂] 首先記住 我們有ADHD不代表我們很懶惰 或我們不夠努力  記住這點是很重要的 還要記住 這也不是你做錯了什麼 ADHD是一種神經發展障礙 所以我們的大腦確實跟你的大腦有所不同 雖然我們可以學習控制症狀 而且ADHD是可以被治療的 但不代表症狀會消失 對我們來說有些事情永遠是個挑戰 了解這些挑戰 是你能做的最有幫助的事情之一 所以 在我開始講解決方案前 讓我們回顧一下ADHD的基礎知識 ADHD有三個主要特徵: 1.注意力不集中 或者更準確地說 缺乏專注力 雖然大多數人可以忽視無關的事物 我們卻很難不去回應引起我們注意的一切 所以 如果你去書店打算買一本小說 中途看到一本食譜
你的大腦會認為那是不相干的書 但我們會拿起那本食譜 翻閱它、決定報名烹飪課 而且…立馬買一個放調味料的架子 ……然後沒買任何一本小說就離開書店了 2.衝動 你知道你的大腦有一個區塊
會讓你意識到 你將要做或說些蠢事 並且讓你有“嗯,還是先想一下好了”的念頭
的這個區塊嗎? 嗯……我們沒有那個區塊 好啦~我們其實有那個區塊
但它真的不是這樣運作的 你可以看這支影片介紹 3.過動 不一定指的是身體上的過動 精神上或情緒上也會過動 暴衝的想法和感受 這就是為什麼睡覺和好好坐著
對我們來說往往是巨大的挑戰 以上就是ADHD的基本特徵 再來還有一些你必需理解的事: 超級專注力 和注意力不集中相反
這是一個天賦……也是一個詛咒 如果我們的大腦正確的使上力 我們會全心全意專注到拔不開 多巴胺 又名“獎勵神經傳遞物” 我們往往對生活常規事物的執行感到困難 因為我們大腦中的獎勵/激勵制度 和你大腦中的不一樣 所以你感覺獎勵到你的任務 可能會讓我們感到十分折磨 執行功能 執行功能技巧 例如事先計劃 開始一個任務 記住所有相關步驟 然做這些事的同時 要能忽略不相干的事物 都受ADHD的影響 這就是為什麼我們可能會卡在整理帳單或洗衣服… …這種看似簡單的任務上 這也是為什麼我們常常起了很多頭 卻很少收尾 這些情況會在你的生活中如何展開 你可以怎麼幫上忙? 如何讓你的生活變得輕鬆一點 不只是為了你的ADHD親友 更是為了你自己 首先 我們每個人都不一樣 所以先問一下很重要 對一些ADHD患者有效的方法
對其他ADHD不一定有效 而且有時候今天有的方法
明天也不一定有效 但這裡有一些基本方法
可以解決常見的ADHD情況 忘記約定好的行程 請把所有東西記到行事曆 是的 即使是約會 不是我們約好了 我們就會記住 我們已經坐在電腦前連續八小時 而且你也真的覺得沒關係 但你需要我們的關注 在開始交談之前 先幫助我們脫離超級專注的狀態 有好方法嗎?只要觸摸一下我們 請先等到我們把注意力從我們正在做的事情上移開 再開始跟我們說話 你在說話 但我們一直在分心 這聽起來可能違反直覺 但是給我們一些東西把玩會很有幫助 指尖玩具讓我們的大腦不會在房間裡蹦蹦跳跳 這有助於我們專注 周圍不要放太多東西 也有助於重要對話的進行 或者在我們動動身體時對話
比如邊走邊聊也有幫助 你們家要嘛很亂 要嘛就是你承擔了大部份的家事 是的 我們不擅長做家事 記得多巴胺嗎? 盡可能發包出去 聘清潔阿桑或收納專家來做 不能發包出去的
鼓勵我們做中玩 設計時器、比賽、貼紙集點 新奇的、有挑戰性的或有截止日期的任務 給我們更多的多巴胺 這讓我們更容易專注 遊戲化也有幫助 我在這支影片中有詳細解說 沒繳的帳單 和 我們答應要清理卻從來沒清的車庫 可以幫到我們的是 建立提醒機制 將事情拆分成數個簡單的步驟 安排不緊急的任務 你可以從這支影片中了解更多 提醒我們下一個步驟 而不是整件事 也很有幫助 丟三忘四 東西固定擺放位置非常重要 鑰匙掛在門邊 鞋子放在鞋櫃 當你重新規劃擺放位置 把東西都移位了的時候 家裡看起來超棒的! ……然後我們也不知道所有東西放哪去了 重要的東西盡可能保持放在固定位置 你想和我們進行理性的討論 但我們卻無法控制情緒 降低標準 但設定一些界限 我們通常是敏感的 而我們大腦控制情緒調節的區塊 不像你大腦裡的那麼發達 我們可能需要努力建立“剎車”系統  [剎車聲] 但與此同時 為你自己設立一些健康的界限 如果我們越界 就離開 當我們平靜的時候 繼續跟我們對談 (年紀較小的腦袋可能需要這個小工具,你可以看這支關於崩潰的影片) "好像我們根本沒在努力!" 大多時候 這不是真的 ADHD患者一生努力的
比人們意識到的多更多更多 我們只是面臨很多困難的挑戰 對我們來說 「再努力一點」這句話
通常只會加重我們的挫敗感 ADHD患者的解決方案 通常不是「再努力一點」 找到一種與ADHD大腦合作的方法 比把我們的頭抓去撞牆更有幫助 但有時候 我們真的沒在努力 因為我們已經放棄了 我們很容易氣餒 所以如果每次我們做晚飯 你就不爽廚房被弄得很亂 我們可能會停止嘗試 如果我們覺得我們沒辦法把作業寫好 我們可能就不寫了 另一方面 我們被鼓勵時會做得非常好 請關注並欣賞我們的努力 而不是我們失敗的地方 我們可能會讓你大吃一驚 最後 讓你的生活更輕鬆… 而且我認為 最重要的建議 除非你是我們的父母 不然 別當我們的老媽子 即使你是我們的父母 不要幫我們擔責任 請不要覺得你什麼事都得幫我們做好好的 憐憫我們、幫我們找藉口 或幫我們脫離每個困境 或許那個當下有幫到我們 但幫我們擦屁股久了 只會導致你的怨恨 和我們的無能感 ADHD患者面臨很多挑戰 但我們也有很多優勢 其中之一就是解決問題的創意 所以不要低估我們自己找出解決方法的能力 與其幫我們承擔 不如支持我們 一旦你們知道我們經歷了什麼 誠實地與我們溝通 告訴我們你的問題 我們會跟你一起解決 如果你是我們的另一伴 透過欣賞我們的優勢 平等地看待我們 並尊重我們得克服的那些… 基於大腦功能所面臨的挑戰 不是人格缺陷 也不是品德問題 更不是我們不在意 因為我們還在這裡 代表我們在意 本週就這樣啦! 我放了一大堆資訊在底下資訊欄 你可以為自己或你的ADHD親友做的最好的事情 就是你現在正在做的事情 吸收ADHD知識! 所以如果你喜歡這支影片 並想要看更多 請按訂閱 如果你喜歡這支影片 並希望幫助我賺更多 來我的Patreon頁面捐款吧! 像這些超棒的腦腦們一樣! 你們真棒! 感謝! 謝謝觀看 拜拜 心心們 和腦腦們 我們下週見 問答時間! 嘿 你見過這個嗎? 他們正在做一個名為Fidget Cube的募資活動 …這樣哦 我有看過 我將在下週詳細解說這玩意兒

42 thoughts on “How to Help Someone who has ADHD

  1. I have to say your videos have played a huge part in me and my wife's attempt at recovering what we thought was lost. I personally as a heart am greatly appreciative i had no idea the struggles she actual has till i stumbled across your videos, as she was recently diagnosed thanks from the bottom of our hearts.

  2. I don’t know, I have adhd or not but I am a big failure.. I never understand what u said in the video by watching it over and over.
    whenever, I watch this video. It always reminds me to clean my teeth.

  3. How do I get my fiancé to listen to me when he tunes me out? He gets so focused on yard work that I have to tell him ten times to stop doing something. My mom thinks me marring him is a mistake. What do I do?

  4. At least some of the "not trying" I've seen is more of a not trying something that might work. Reading about how to pack, but not packing. Developing strategies for laying out a calendar, but not actually writing appointments on the calendar. I'm not sure what to do in that situation

  5. Thank you so much for this video! I really needed to watch this. I didn’t really understand ADHD before but now I do. One of my really good friends has ADHD and sometimes it would be frustrating and difficult being her friend and hanging out with her. Now that I know more about ADHD, I can be more patient and understanding with her. Thank you. 💖

  6. Cute Art of explaining how your Brain World. My adhd is very happy with your straight shining way. Keep on doing your Stuff. Greetz from Berlin

  7. But my parents r narcissist and will try and say what about me cause she has adhd to and I try but the video gets forgotten and I'm suddenly not trying again and I try and I get discouraged as well

  8. I have adhd and I keep watching videos about it and this is the only one that I was able to watch all the way through

  9. Hey! I just came across your channel and it's brilliant! I find it very informative. I however have one request. You see, there is someone in my class at school with ADHD. He can't do work, he often gets himself in trouble with some of the teachers, and he can be rather distracting in class. I want to help him really bad, but it seems like I can never really get through to him. We have summer exams coming up, and I've tried to encourage him to study and find fun ways to study, but he wouldn't really listen. My sister is constantly complaining about him and how he behaves in class, and she's saying I should tell my year head about it (because I'm a prefect), but I don't feel right doing so. However I'm going to have to if he continues the way he is and everyone else keeps complaining about him. If you wouldn't mind, I would really appreciate if you made a video about how to help a friend with ADHD at school. It would mean the world to me. Thank you so much!

  10. For starters love your work I was diagnosed as a child and medicated (UK) as I left school that was the end I'm now 35 and not even the crisis team or GP will even talk about the fact it never went away any advice would be appreciated

  11. I have adhd and anxiety and i always break out in tears bc I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t understand me. This will help a lot thank u!!

  12. Your videos help me to regulate my distraction, emotional ups and downs and other things related to ADHD. Because thanks to these videos I had chance to look at what’s going on within me from outside. This helps not to get lost easily and help to control. THANKSSSSSSSS A LOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT! YOU ARE DOING A VERY IMPORTANT JOB

  13. "The house is either a mess or you've been taking on way more of the chores than is fair", when have you visited our house? I work from home and do most of the chores, simply because asking my husband and then reminding him ten times before he does it is too much work, when I can just do it right away on my own… Yes, we're working on getting him evaluated to get official diagnosis, but it would honestly explain so much about him and his lifelong issues.

  14. My mom most likely watched this video because she knows how I tend to look at other things, fidget, and go WAY off topic and all of those other symptoms and how to deal with me ( No official diagnosis, but my mom had ADHD and I’m just like her (( With the ADHD and others too )))

  15. I’ve lived with and loved a man with ADHD FOR 22 years and raised three children with ADHD. You nailed it! EXACTLY. YEP. Love your videos!

  16. Your videos are so inspiring, i always watch one before I do my homework to encourage myself, also to remember there are other people that feel exactly as I do, that I am not alone because there are people that they try, do and accomplish their goals every day. It inspires me to keep improving as a person.

    Thanks!!!

    Please make a video on how to stop losing stuff, it is a nightmare.

  17. had a girlfriend of 3 years say "Its like you arent even trying" to me. nothing has hurt me as bad as that one sentence hurt including her dumping me the week after.
    when i had just gotten the diagnosis.
    while i desperately tried to hold down a job that with commute took up about 12-13 hours a day. and also; i had a depression.

  18. To tell the honest truth in my country there isn't anyone that can help but I have a doctor friend I would ask him if I tell someone I have this they are going to laugh and then I might hit them no I won't but still

  19. I am the parent of a teen with ADHD, and while my heart overflows with love, I have to admit that life sometimes is exhausting, and I am tired of thinking, planning and anticipating situations for an extra person. It really is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at times…

  20. My husband zones out for hours. Hes now watching every star wars movie made. Day 2. I get no frigging dopamine from this.

  21. SQUIRREL!
    This video made me cry, yep, I'm a guy and we do cry. This is me ME. Your videos have been so helpful.

  22. For me I can’t go asleep with my sleep meds and I can’t sleep without closing my eyes and dream so I can sleep

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