Honest Trailers – Honest Trailers (Written by a Robot)

Partially transcribed by user, Carlo Nassar Because of your contributions to our Women In Film charity event, you’ve unlocked an Honest Trailer written by the AI who wrote that fake Harry Potter chapter. It’s like an Honest Trailer made out of every other Honest Trailer. Warning: It’s gonna be weird. From the technology studio which created classics like the Irresponsible Englishman and The Brave Little Lawyer and the key grips who worked on small movies about all the strange Hollywood choices of legendary director Mike Potions Presents the first trailer that is literally a spy. “I am a SPY!” Honest Trailers: Ancestors of the Future. Imagine a female lead superhero movie in a dystopian society “Hi.” Where everyone is always quoting House. *”Everybody lies” said by various characters* But only one Jonathan dares to ask, who made that call? “Who is it?” “Who is this?” Because lightsaber negotiations have guns now. Hunky professors invented new ideas about Mulan. And snake cars are always coming out of the road! Featuring Elvis Kyle, who is here to give to most cringe-worthy performance of all time. And everyone else is just there to watch. Margo montage who makes the audience think about their weirdest cousin You know, the one who loves weed, Jon Snow, and polite European robots? “Excuse me sir!” This impressive dog and his terrible son who are clearly just there to sell iPods. The only cool shot of minerals that no one will ever forget! Seriously? Why weren’t there more minerals in there? An Oscar worthy performance by the Brooklyn Bridge Amy Puppet’s original soundtrack that’s so cute, there’s definitely lots of magic campy dance holograms. And a climax so epic, you will stop worrying about the helicopters descending on your home “You see that helicopter? I think it’s been following me all morning.” Of course the real reason everyone is seeing this movie, the Yoda vs. Dennis the Menace fight sequence! Which will have you saying, ‘All of our fragile egos are gonna have sex!’ “Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!” *cheering* But maybe you will not enjoy this horrible film about the problems of every lame movie. “You’re wasting your life making s***!” Followed by my 40 year man voice over. Loved by sarcastic children, and hated by the crying nerd. Because sweet Jesus, you’re in the movie equivalent of a mind that made a bad movie! So witness the magic of people yelling exposition “There’s a bomb on your bus!” “We gotta cut her heart out!” And whispering character names. *characters whispering names* This awesome car chase will be in the movie. And so will this scene where 2 characters sit and read a magazine! Until finally, a strategically timed tank rolls over a few of the main villains nicely. Can someone tell me why the original Shrek is playing on EVERY TV IN THIS MOVIE?! So suit on and strap up for this underwater tween adventure that makes The Smurfs look like a f***ing masterpiece! *cat laughs and falls down* Starring: Lana Del Toro Beetlejuice Bueller You Better Turn Out! *car commotion* The same shots of Wolverine sitting on computers over and over again! Unlikeable Jane Lynch This Guy Chasing a Car Nazis Playing Pokemon Snap! Sugarman: The Little Guy Tuck Grandpa The Millennium Dustin *boy screaming* Innuendos that are memes that are also metaphors “Ask me about my wiener!” Some Loud Boy who really shouldn’t talk “JUST DO IT!” Manny Canyon as a very sarcastic bug The Smirking Baby that Goes to Hell THIS Scene “Hi, I’m Chief Master Sergeant William Candy.” “Ooh, it’s me!” and Academy Award Winning Actor: Solemn Philip School of Ripoffs Wait, where did all the puberty cops go? They’re just gone now? Ok ok I get it! You wanna be wet. Geez. Hey Screen Junkies! Click the box and remember to watch the Movie Fights Extravaganza Benefitting Women in Film May 3rd at 3pm Pacific! *reading comments*

100 thoughts on “Honest Trailers – Honest Trailers (Written by a Robot)

  1. What was your favorite moment the robot wrote? Did it miss any tropes or Honest Trailers themes you think should have been mentioned?

    One: Speak up and join the conversation- we encourage respectful debate.
    Two: Respect your community- racism, misogyny, homophobia and hate speech aren’t tolerated.
    Three: “Be nice.” – Dalton from Roadhouse

  2. I actually kind of want to see this. I know it would be some confusing waste of money Neil Breen meats an RNG, but I'm gonna be honest, it would like nothing I've ever seen.

  3. "Which will have you saying 'All our fragile little egos are gonna have sex!'" That part… absolutely slaughtered me. It just comes out of literally nowhere in the perfect way possible.

    Can I use this robot? I want to stuff every chapter of My Immortal into it and see what mess it makes, and other stuff!

  4. Okay, "Ancestors of the Future" actually sounds like a badass title.

    …Admit it, you'd watch it.

  5. If this is true then it is scarily uncanny and accurate, as well as being incredibly satirical towards the lameness of mainstream Hollywood, which is actually quite comforting that even pre-programmed computers recognise how trite this shite is.
    Kudos to nerds I say.

  6. Honest trailers in my house and in the yard of my parents and friends are really good.

    The other thing that is so cool about YouTube, and this is pretty hard for a lot of people to see, is we've been able to sort of use this idea of creating original content, a really cool creative outlet to help our company grow, and this trailer just really helped. This trailer helped us go through and find some places for content creators to put these things.

    To help people understand if we really believed in doing this and being able to get our product out to a certain audience, we're sharing some of our previous stuff that we released on the site. So some of the people who didn't know what we were doing, can have a look and see if there's content in these trailer's that really speaks to them, or they can jump on board and actually watch it themselves. So for a lot of people it's kind of like a real jump on board (Written by a Robot)

  7. You know what I expected was a Honest Trailer about Honest Trailer like dissing and making fun of it so this was kinda unexpected.
    Still dig it.

  8. Robot Pitch Meeting
    Honest Trailer Producer: So you have a Script related to our Women in the Arts initiative for me ?

    Robot: Yes, sir, I do.

    Producer: That’s great. So a women in the arts will be Narrating it?

    Robot: It’ll be Epic Voice Guy.

    Producer: He’s not a women.

    Robot: Whoops!

    Producer: Whoopsie.

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