Group 5: DBT Series | Interpersonal Effectiveness pt 2

hi everyone so welcome to this week's BBT video series and I apologize for the way that I look if I look kind of shuffled because I've been outside sweating a lot so thanks and hair manatsu we're right now but anyway getting on to the topic the week still are covering interpersonal effectiveness and I'll just go ahead and start off by saying the first thing we covered or the very first activity we actually live in class which i guess is somehow related to interpersonal effectiveness we're more so observing and such warm on that lines as we did the two troops and Ally so if you've ever done that before like in school or work setting or some sort of group setting where you have to say two things that are true about you and when it's why and then everyone else has to guess well we actually had to do that for ourselves and we had to do like random like trivia facts that one was really hard like I don't even know if I have to true trivia facts like you know so that was kind of hard to be on the spa I don't really know what the point of that exercise lives other than observing someone by knowing how they're telling the truth or if you're lying so I think I was the observation exercise but that's what we did at the start of group and now to go on to the slides we started with objective effectiveness so stand me up so your rights are taking seriously requesting others to do something and having them do it refusing unwanted unreasonable requests and making it stick resolving interpersonal conflict getting your opinion are going to be taken seriously and relationship effectiveness acting so that others what you want to comply or to respect your boundaries balancing immediate goals is good or long-term relationship sacrificing personal goals for the sake of a relationship does not work so that's an ineffective skill that may result in a bull up or I may result in a cup of the relationship using skills early enhances relationships and improves chances of obtaining approval self-respect effectiveness acting in ways that your sense of morality and acne in ways that help you feel confident in factors work that may reduce effectiveness some of those are going to be you don't know what you want so you have the skills but you can't decide what you really want from the other person you can't figure out how to balance your needs versus the other person's needs asking too much versus not asking for anything or saying no to everything we're just giving in to everything your emotions are getting in the way you have the skills but let your emotions such as anger pride fishing guild control what you do you forget your long-term goals for short-term goals so you put your me and once ahead of your long term goals the future main ships for your mind other people are getting in your way you have the skills that other people are getting in the way other people are more powerful than you other people may be important or may not like you if you get what you want other people may not do what you want and Leslie sacrifice and self-respect at least a little your thoughts and beliefs are coming in the way words about negative consequence of quick consequences if you ask for what you want or say no to someone's request getting the way of acting effectively police if that you don't deserve what you want stop in your tracks stop you in your tracks and beliefs the others don't deserve what they want make you ineffective and then there's also missed about interpersonal effectiveness and those are going to be things such as I don't deserve to get what I want or need I have to know whether a person is going to sing guess where I make a request they say now it will kill me say no to a request is selfish thing to do I must be really an adequate if I can't pick this fixes myself I don't have what I want or need it doesn't make any difference I don't care really those are myths in the way of objectives effectiveness and mix in the way of relationship and self-respect effectiveness would be I shouldn't have to ask or say no they should just know what I want and do it I shouldn't have to negotiate a work at what I will work at getting what I want other people should like approve of and support me getting what I want and then I want is most important revenge will feel so good it will be worth any negative consequences only wimps have values everybody lies getting what I want is more important than how I give it the end really do just by the means or the ends really good just Apennines so that um and I learned a few acronyms as well this session fast and give and fast is for fair apologizing less sticking to values and truthful so as a behavior and give is gentle interested validating and easy manner so um have you kind of see both of them have good points and bad points I guess it just kind of well it just kind of depends on the situation which one we use I don't know i'm not an expert i just learned me the acronyms is this session other people on my group already knew them because they've been through the program already so I just kind of learned them under house so that is all I have forward this week and I hope you guys have gotten something out of that and i will make um good future videos of course coming out soon that i hope you watch and enjoy so thank you for watching and please subscribe thanks guys hey

2 thoughts on “Group 5: DBT Series | Interpersonal Effectiveness pt 2

  1. Thanks Emilia, still think this program is trying to create robots out of human beings  – i mean who doesn't have to sacrifice personal goals when they're in a relationship (ultimately realizing that the 'personal goal' wasn't that great anyway). And most people, I'm sure, often let sudden urges dictate their behavior. I suppose there is a spectrum, but if everyone acted like they suggest it'd be some kind of freaky 'stepford' world. Anyway, please do more videos bout anything. Cheers

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