Does Social Anxiety Make You Immature?

100 thoughts on “Does Social Anxiety Make You Immature?

  1. So my school counselor wants me to write a letter to my parents to get them to get me a therapist for anxiety but my mom just got laid off and my brother is going to a private high school next year so money is really tight. I told the counselor but she still thinks I need to write this letter and won’t leave me alone unless I do. She said she understood why I wouldn’t want to add the extra weight on my family but she also said that I have to write the letter and give it to my family. I am open to therapy and I want to try to make a change but I would feel awful if I made my parents spend so much on therapy and I don’t know what to do to satisfy my counselor and myself. How should I handle the situation? Please help

  2. What helps me when I have to talk to someone is drinking something(pop, juice, water)so the whole entire time I’m sitting there looking like a dehydrated thirsty weirdo who keeps going in for drink 😂

  3. Hi Kati! I have a question that i won’t name an actual name for in the comment section, because I don’t want to put this person on blast for the whole internet. However, I’m going to see a psychiatrist that my mom actually set up for me that’s close to my college campus. It was hard getting an appointment with an available psychiatrist and my mom has been trying to set it up for a while. Upon a google search, I found out that she’s a very well known psychiatrist, that’s more known for a reality tv show that she was involved in. I did see some clips of her on this show losing her cool and sometimes acting sort of immature. I haven’t told my mom about it yet. I don’t know whether to judge her on this platform or whether I should follow through and go to the appointment as opposed to canceling and just waiting on a new one. It’s a weird situation, and I wouldn’t have thought in years I would come across this conflict, and it’s kind of funny honestly. But I was hoping you could offer some advice. Thanks!

  4. Thank u so much Kati Morton for explaining social anxiety problems .. now i am relieved… Thanks a lot.
    And many thanks to that person who posted this question .

  5. Do you offer counselling video chats via skype or FaceTime? I would be very interested to talk about my social anxiety, I know it’s possible to talk to councillors over the phone so wondered if you offer that. Thanks so much 🙂

  6. #KatiFAQ Hey Kati! I would really love it if you could make a video about having been abused by someone with BPD or something very similar. It's so hard to be angry at someone who you know is struggling with anger management, jealousy etc. Especially when the abuse isn't physical, its hard to say what you think is unacceptable when you know they are struggling with low self esteem and so on. And when you can't be angry at your abuser, how do we get over the abuse? How do we stop feeling like we could have prevented it by helping them more or acting differently? If the person doesn't seem to be doing it with an agenda, just can't help themselves – is it still called abuse? A very long question for you, but I would really appreciate a video on this.. Thanks

  7. I feel like I bounce back and forth between being mature for my age, and then regressing. I have no family for support and grew up in an abusive household, and I've had a lot of traumatic things happen to me. Now at age 26, I have to be self-reliant and get things done. But by the time they get done, I'm so exhausted by it but I begin to regress and can feel myself acting or feeling childish. It's confusing to bounce back and forth between maturity and regressing and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it.

  8. I never had social anxiety and was very out going until I got really sick and went into isolation for about 2 years. Now I have extremely bad social and regular anxiety, ptsd and depression. I want to go back in case I have more things I can tell something no quite right.

  9. In my case I've always feel more inadequate and awkward during social interactions. But in my 20's I felt immature in multiple situations. …. I wonder if is common that a person with social anxiety also has avoidant personality disorder. It would be interesting to know how those disorders affect each other and combined to disrupt the life of a person with but conditions. The experience is not nice at all. I know first hand.

  10. I have social anxiety maybe 2/3 of the time, but the part that I really relate to is that I'm 52 but I feel like I'm 12. I did have some sexual abuse at that time.

  11. 3:40 –3:55 literally blew my mind. whoaa. love you kati

    Also, i love the idea of resources and the one about petting an animal might actually work for me. How would you imagine petting an animal (dog in my case) without being socially awkward about it? Personally i would have to close my eyes or stop talking or stop listening to someone in order to imagine it. Would i maybe excuse myself and go somewhere private to image petting a dog or is this like live action resources?

  12. People are constantly getting made at me when I won’t get up and get a fork bc I’m to anxious so they say I’m immature

  13. Thank you, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time. This is the first video that actually connected with feelings that I, up to now, couldn't explain. I always thought I was the only person who felt immature and/or left behind.

  14. Social anxiety is something so many suffer from and don't know where to go for the resources many times. It's big when people help other people!

  15. Kati, your channel does absolute wonders. I have been diagnosed with depression and BPD; everyday is tougher than the last. I don’t have motivation to get in the shower or go see any friends. I also wonder what it’s like to actually want to be alive… every time I’m alone at my apartment I try something wreckless because I don’t want to live. Can you do a video on my specific dual diagnosis?

  16. Another brilliantly researched, thoroughly understood video about social anxiety, thank you! It’s a disorder that is highly debilitating but not often spoken about, and video like this and the comment section make me feel less weird for suffering with it

  17. I have social anxiety and tend to feel young when I'm anxious. My alternate explanation is that if I go into childlike behavior, my support people go into caretaker mode and do all the stressful adult responsibilities are done for me. My mom makes sure I am taking my meds, and my fiancee tends to do all the finances and bills so that I don't have to deal with panic attacks.

  18. What's the difference between social anxiety and agoraphobia. I have both, and sometimes, when I'm trying to figure out why I'm feeling one way or another, I don't always know which category my feeling or behavior belongs in.

  19. I personally feel older than most people of my age but I definitely am immature I terms of emotions and interpersonal relationship/sex.

  20. I've had social anxiety all my life, to the point where I was almost a selective mute in school.

    I was 18 years old when my cousin (best friend) started at my high school, and through him I made friends and finally felt like I belonged.

    Now at 21, I still feel like I'm 18.

    I wonder if it's connected to finally starting to feel like a social person.

  21. Hi @katimorton, thank you for putting this video out. I feel like this video sums up how I have felt my whole life, being an only child who is sheltered by my parents. Don't get me wrong, my parents are wonderful, supportive people, but I feel like I have lost out on so many opportunities to grow because I have not been socialized much. I spent a majority of my life studying, and not much time being with other people, which makes me very anxious when I am in social settings. One of my major insecurities is my fear of making a fool of myself when I am in a social setting, which is why I constantly feel left out when seeing how much of a social life people have on social media. Also, I tend to avoid social situations all together sometimes, because that voice in my head says, "why bother? nobody will like me anyways… nobody values my opinion or what I have to say…" It really is hard feeling like that constantly, because in my mind I always think that people do not like me, because people dismiss me…

  22. Really need help. I have anxiety and ocd and because of childhood trauma I guess I really don't value myself. I've been a carer for my chronically I'll mother but I don't have to do that anymore. I'm only 20 and don't feel like I've ever been able to have fun because I m stuck in this role as carer even though I'm at university. At the same time when someone tells me I'm. A bad person or manipulative and I know that it's wrong I get really angry and lose control. I can sometimes hurt myself, I don't want to be here and I want everything to stop. I go into a full blown melt down. Please please help.

  23. It is normal, possible that you could feel social anxiety for some things but in others don't? Like for example, when i talk with girls, flirt with them im completely okay, i don't feel anxious, im even confident in it. But when is about something like getting a job, talking with someone when im going to buy food, etc etc it gives me so so much anxiety and i even have feel like im going to faint or throw up. Is that possible, having social anxiety, anxiety of having to talk with people you don't know but in other things not?

  24. I have severe avoidant behavior. I haven't been to work in months and the house is falling to bits as every task seems unbearable or impossible. I was wondering if you had a video on chronic avoidance.
    PS your videos are really helpful, thankyou.

  25. Personally I don’t like “going out” because of my anxiety but I don’t feel like a kid. Situations with heavy drinking, like happy hour or bars, makes me terribly uncomfortable because I watched a family member literally drink themselves to death.

  26. What if you don’t even know how to properly have a conversation like my mind just goes blank and all I can say is yes no yea oh or something simple like that even afterwards I can’t think of a reply

  27. Hi everyone. I’m new to the channel. My mind kind of clicked with some of the videos and I’m greatful for that. But I really want to know if its possible to have social phobia along with GAD resulting in panic disorder due to recurrent panic attacks and on top of that depression because you feel hopeless with no escape about how micerable your life has been for so much time? Is this probable or common to have these diagnosis ? I’m currently being treated for depression and panic attack meds as needed. And Yes, with social phobia attacks you Do feel immature or younger somehow. Can’t explaint why but I do. However when I’m relaxed and sober then I feel normal and in my age. Crazy ah?

  28. I,
    Can do ANYTHING when with a friend, with friends I become an extrovert.

    But when I'm alone I can't do anything. I wish it wasn't that way honestly but I can't even keep up going to appointments

  29. Love this video! I'm mature for my age but do suffer social anxiety.
    Since leaving my partner of 6 years and moving out to my own place (something I've always wanted to do) I've been more social than I have been in years. I am still struggling to know when to stop before I burn out (due to chronic illness) but my goal this year is to get to know myself and find out what I want in life. Friends are friends and even though it can feel uncomfortable at first I always come home grateful that I have people who care about me and want to be around me even if my brain is telling me the opposite.

  30. Honestly can’t believe that this is a thing that other people feel… I’ve always just thought I was really weird bc I still feel like I’m 15. In many ways I am more mature but emotionally I’m way less emotionally mature than most people my age! This video made me so so relieved!

  31. I've had a successful career and taken care of both my Mother and brother before they died. Even after all that I still feel immature around people my own age. I stopped trying, I isolated myself, I was in too much pain to try. They have both passed away and now I find myself alone, with no friends and my family is gone.. It's ironic, my greatest fear has always been to be alone and by not putting in the effort (it's so uncomfortable and exhausting!) to engage with others, that's precisely where I am. I'm older than your audience and as we get older it becomes even harder to make new friends. I hope anyone reading this will continue to put in the effort to deal lwith their social anxiety and live a fulfilling life.

  32. I get truly scared when I get to checking out in a store. My growing up went really wrong because I grew up fast and not at all at the same time. But I don’t think I’m going to get better I’m going to end up taking my life because I’m reaching out to every things I can but I’m crashing fast. I can see it I’m not going to make it out.

  33. both of my parents were neglectful, abusive and alcoholics/drug addicts and my father left as a kid – my ex abused me from the age 16-21, im getting help now (im 21) and realizing their behavior wasn't normal. I usually act childish because that is all I know, ive also met others who now give me space to try and get out of that. coming out of trauma is mind blowing and tiring; im going thru all this while working and going to school and outpatient. my mother never lets me stop…any recommendations on how to deal with healing? or self-care?

  34. Hi Kati I was noticing some YouTubers complaining about their videos getting Demonetized for having the word anxiety in her titled. Are we going to be targeted and hurt by YouTube for putting things about mental health in the title of our videos? Have you noticed anything?

  35. I've been living with Social Anxiety for 7 years throughout middle school and high school my social anxiety came when I moved and transfered schools, I honestly don't know what's the purpose of my life anymore , Thanks for this video it helped a lot ❤

  36. I definitely struggle with this. I just started my second semester of the year in college and I walked into my classroom and instantly felt so young and so small. Everyone looked 1000x older than I felt. I remember in my freshman year of college, (of course, I felt young and small) we were split into groups to review the material with our peers and this guy was talking to me and he asked me how old I was. I was 19 at the time and he looked at me shocked. He said he was surprised I was younger than he, he said I acted so mature that he was sure I was at least 22. I am forever floored by this.

  37. This is why I always shy away from and just absolutely detest talking about sexual experiences, relationship's, or just dating. Because it's embarrassing and just plain pathetic that I'm 24 and I've yet to really experience any of that. I always feel like I'm a burden to my friends or that I'm just nuisance because I'm the only one who's always flying solo. I just fucking hate myself.

  38. I literally dropped communications skills class form university before it even began. My anxiety was like nope not doing that.

  39. I have social anxiety mainly due to the fact that I feel insecure compared to other people and i feel like I'm judged all the time because I'm not at other peoples level at my age also I feel very awkward just talking or coming up with things to say that maybe are not in order

  40. I’m 25 almost 26, and I feel as though I’m stuck at being 18. It’s a weird feeling. What makes it worse is seeing people you graduated high school with get married, settle down, and have kids. It makes you feel like a freak.

  41. I also know problem of some people. In which they have written that when I talk with any girls then my eyes fall on unpleasant place or private part. Because of this’ they avoid ayes contact with every person including man and girl. I have experienced that you avoid viewing porn video for a month. Then You can see change self. I know it’s difficult at starting. Social anxity is kind of two; first is because of shy. Second is because of above reason. I suggest that please stop viewing porn video0

  42. I have been told that i allow the devil inside me and that is what is responsible for my anxiety, I have been told I allow myself to have panic attacks, It is all my fault. This is what I have been told about my panic attacks and severe anxiety.

  43. Katie, will you please talk about the rebound effect regarding benzo medications after long term use? I feel like my lorazepam is causing my anxiety attacks when I haven't taken my scheduled dose. I wake up in the middle of the night feeling an anxiety attack coming on a few hours before my next prescribed morning dose. Im starting to believe my med is making matters worse. I am absolutely dreading my upcoming taper from the benzo which my doc and I have made a plan to begin next month. Do u have any suggestions on coping during intense moments? Help!

  44. Thank you for making this video, I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety lately, it’s great to know that it’s a process to letting go ❤️

  45. For me as a 14 year old, it's almost the opposite, instead of feeling immature I feel too mature, all my friends who are confident enough to just go around being silly and acting more immature and I'm just too scared to cause I don't like the attention or whatever, and so I just sit and don't do any of it tell them to stop… and I always feel like I get along better with my older sisters friends than my own, and I prefer the conversations but they often feel like I'm too young so I'm kind of stuck cause I feel too mature around people my age and people older think I'm too young and idk it's tough

  46. I think this is why I feel like such a bother to others, I feel young so it’s like they have to babysit me. Which is not true at all, I’m 25 and fully capable of taking care of myself. But I feel like a burden.

  47. This is so true, when I turned 18 everyone was like “aren’t you happy you’re an adult now?” And I was like “no, I don’t want to…”
    It’s weird that I’m more responsible, and like an “adult” than my friends, but emotionally I’m still a child 😂.
    I’m working on it tho, my therapist told me I was like emotionally maturing now 😀

  48. Wow! Even though I held positions in my professional life where I had responsibility for a team of people, this sooo resonates with me. I still feel like I am 6 years old. Talks about sex and relationships kind of freak me out (I endure), and I barely have any friends because I feel like I am not a "real" (for lack of a better word) person and I am afraid to anger the "adults".

  49. So it is possible that someone who considers itself asexual are not asexual at all but just suffers from some sort of anxiety? I'm talking about me 😁. It is very confusing.

  50. I feel like social anxiety has caused me to have a lot less life experiences and adventures which in turn gives me more SA because I feel like I have no identity and have nothing to talk about. I always feel pathetic and uninteresting

  51. it actually does the exact opposite to me , I'm 25 but I feel like I'm 40 or 50 , and act react like an old man , I feel too old to do stuff that I'm actually even Younger to do , my whole perception is like life passed by while I made big plans for it in my early 20s , now I basically wait to die , I'm seeing a therapist , just started it , I Don't feel like this is Something that will improve or change , I just go now because I like her , just the way I like you , not expecting anything , I Don't feel I want to get better or anything , I just want to be left alone in a quiet place , it is hard to change this tendency , I want to help her out but maybe it is still early to decide because I Don't see her influencing me or making progress ,

  52. just now i wanted to buy some stuffs and started walking to my nearest shop,as always this thing that is in my brain starts exploding,"What should I do?"" How would I act" "Why they're looking at me""am I walking right?",i couldn't even walk properly and it makes your situation way worse,after i bought my stuffs i returned using taxi and the road was like less than 100m,i cant control it now,its way beyond me.

  53. Dang, this video reached me more than I thought. Now I just have to figure out how to fix my trauma. Didn't feel traumatic at the time, definitely effects me now :/

  54. I totally feel like a Kid when I get nervous and anxious around people.

    I'm turning 22 this year. Wtf is wrong with me

  55. Anxiety and overthinking tend to be evil partners. One of the horrible hallmarks of any type of anxiety disorder is the tendency to overthink everything. The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on the lookout for anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome. I've been accused of making problems where there aren't any. To me, though, there are, indeed, problems. Why? Because anxiety causes me to overthink everything. Anxiety makes us overthink everything in many different ways, and the result of this overthinking isn't helpful at all. Fortunately, anxiety and overthinking everything doesn't have to be a permanent part of our existence.

  56. I can relate I'm about to be 27 and I had only one job and I don't have a driver license can't drive. I feel stuck

  57. I'm on the autism spectrum and I loathe small talk. Most people don't interest me – especially co-workers who have to dress down so I can't really see their personality expressed externally. Also I don't drink (mood issues and past binge drinking) which makes things extra awkward at social events as they revolve around alcohol. Being around drunk people makes me extremely uncomfortably because of past abusive alcoholics in my life. Even if people are just tipsy I feel like I'm watching them with their trousers down because of the lowered inhibitions. They also tend to pressure me to drink and if I explain that I don't then they want to know why. It's not necessarily appropriate to tell co-workers about my history of abuse and mood disorders or problem drinking.

  58. Kaite Your the first therapist I ever heard understand BPD and not paint them as evil We are far from evil in fact I never do anything or say anything to anyone in a mean manner, but when I feel attacked I do kinda go off .But Its because I sustained so much abuse I'm not longer willing to just take abuse off people at least that how I see it. I really love you you have great handle on things I also have social anxiety big time and avoid people in general Scared to do anything involving society stuff . Example i got asked to go to Mary Kay and I felt like someone was laying a snare Id rather do anything o go to a make up party with 5 or 10 other woman potentially with money or make up know how ready to eat you alive for sport. I'm very down to earth not caty woman at all and I don't react well to those types! Your very down to earth and it shows .Yes I do feel no one every gonna like me I'm not good enough . Thanks so much Katie !!

  59. Katie do you see clients ? Where do you practice regionally? O recommend anyone I haven't exactly had an easy time trusting therapists

  60. I know I have social anxiety, but I have not been diagnosed and I feel immature all the time. When I go out to eat with my family, it's my turn to order, the waiter/waitress is staring at me to order, and I have to turn to my mother to tell her what I want so she can order for me. It's so embarrassing! I don't want to do it, but I feel like if I tell the server what I want then they will judge me on my food choice. I also dropped out of college two semesters ago after my first speech in speech class because I was fine until I stepped up in front of the class. I started shaking and I wanted to cry. I lost everything I wanted to say and the sad part is that the speech was only about my name and three objects that are sentimental to me. Now I spend every Tuesday and Thursday driving my grandmother's car to "college" because I'm too afraid to tell my family that I dropped out due to something so stupid! I don't know…

  61. I can’t order food either on the phone or especially in person, shop alone or just go in public and having a job interviews….it’s embarrassing 🥺🤦🏾‍♀️

  62. Kati–When you talk about not being able to talk about sex…what exactly do you mean? I understand that an adult should be able to talk to another interested adult about this topic, yet I find it highly immature to just start random conversations about sex as part of social conversations–that is highly immature.

  63. Yeah, I can relate to this so much, I was physically abused as a child and sometimes I still feel like a 10-year-old. I'm 30 now and i have never been in a relationship and I'm still living at my parent's house, Still working jobs that a 16 year old works. Yeah it sucks i feel so behind in life it sucks.

  64. Social anxiety made me change from an overachieving top student to a complete failure. It makes me feel immature opening up to conversations and i find it really really difficult to think like a normal person after ive been affected by this disorder. At school, when i have to present something in front of the class, a lot of times people smirk and grin at me. It feels very intimidating and it just really brings down my confidence. When i talk with them, they respond back like they’re talking to a stupid person. It came to the point where I kept having confused, troubled thoughts about killing myself and killing the people who laughed at me. I felt numb, hopeless, extremely self conscious, troubled everyday i wake up. It came to the point where my friends started to lose interest in talking with me, because i was dull and spoke more and more poorly each day. Whenever i hang out with my friends and other people that don’t like me, i feel intimidated, pressured, troubled. Only time i feel relaxed is with people who also experience the same issue, most of them use to be good students but had really unfortunate social skills. I believe this disorder is linked to poor parenting, unhealthy habits, and past social interactions.
    social anxiety have also affected my grades and stopped me from doing things i use to do back then like painting and playing outside. It prevented me from doing the “best” i could even in easy subjects because a lot of people from those classes don’t like me. Im a grade 9 student, pursuing computer science, also an international student. I need some genuine advice for this but please dont lecture me.

  65. Dear Katie, I watched this video because I have social anxiety but it actually brought more questions than answers. Despite my social anxiety, I don't think I'm emotionally immature but I tend to be more childlike than an average adult for example; wanting to get on a carousel or do sand art, or colouring, and I don't know if this is part of what you're talking about. I often wonder whether I should worry because I like things that are not 'age-appropriate' for me

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