Dangerous Liaisons | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 37


[cheering] BRIAN: Hello, New York! [cheering] Wow! I would ask how everyone’s doing, but I can
already tell. [cheering] Who’s ready to get turnt up tonight? [cheering] You know, I talked to Taliesin a couple weeks ago
and I said, “How in the world do we top what you “did for me for Gen Con?” He said, “I have five
words for you, Brian. The Goth of Wall Street.” [laughter and cheering] Well, we have a great show planned for you guys. I
am really interested to see how this is going to go. Given the last few episodes, I’m sure you are.
I have a couple of bad cop announcements, it’s what I get paid to do. Up first, and you know,
we’re all really waiting to see what Sam’s going to do, am I right? [cheering] (sighs) Hide your kids, hide your wives. First of
all, feel free to engage along with the show tonight. Some of the ways you can engage along
with the show is clapping, which you seem to do very well, wonderful. [applause] You can definitely cheer. [cheering] This one’s going to be hard, you can cry. [fake crying] That sounds good. Sounds genuine. The one thing
that we do ask that you refrain from during the live shows is shouting out any rules, suggestions,
things like that. “Use Feather Fall!” Shit like that’s not going to fly. “You have two spell slots
left!” Nobody cares what you have to say. Especially no jokes that you think are going to
either get a reaction from the cast or from the rest of the audience. Take it from someone who
knows, sometimes you think you have a great joke and it’s a fucking terrible one. At Gen Con this
year, some people decided to rebel against the rules and nothing made me happier than hearing
someone yell out a joke and it bombing. I was up in the balcony leaning down going, “Welcome to my
Tuesday night, every week.” I guarantee you guys Matt and the cast are going to put on a fantastic
show for you tonight. [cheering] Yep. Despite the fact it will not contain any of
your bad jokes. Up next: we will be broadcasting at an hour delay tonight, so there is an extremely
strict no spoiler policy in the house tonight. After Sam comes out and sits down, there’s really
no need for you guys to have your phones out tonight. Please do not spoil it for all of our
Critters watching literally around the world. Don’t get on Twitter, don’t get on Tumblr, don’t
get into Twitch chat and say shit, don’t be a dick. Please, please, please. Ultimately, there’s
more of them than there are of us, so we got to be careful, if you know what I’m saying. I don’t want
people coming after us. Okay, if you’re at New York Comic Con this weekend, please check out our
schedule at CritRole.com. We’re going to be busy. How many people are going to Comic Con? [cheering] Wow. That’s going to be awesome. Let’s see. Oh
yeah, introduce the cast, okay. Without further ado, I would like to introduce the cast of
Critical Role. [Critical Role theme] Travis Willingham! [cheering] Marisha Ray! [applause] Taliesin Jaffe! [applause] Ashley Johnson! [applause] Sam Riegel! [applause] Liam O’Brien! [cheering] Motherfucking Laura Bailey! [cheering] Ladies and gentlemen, on your feet for Mr. Matthew
Mercer! [applause] [cheering] MATT: Well, if that isn’t a rush, I don’t know
what is. TRAVIS: Oh yeah. Mainline that shit. MATT: Oh man. Hello everyone, and welcome– [cheering] MARISHA: He said two words! MATT: Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical
Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass– [cheering] [Matt gleefully laughing] MATT: Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
sit around dressed as pirates and play Dungeons & Dragons. [cheering] LAURA: Arr. MATT: Now before we make our way into tonight’s
episode, we got a few announcements to make, so be patient, please. First and foremost, the second
episode of All Work No Play debuts tomorrow. [cheering] MATT: With our fantastic Sam and Liam, they
learned how to tap dance, loosely. That’ll be debuting tomorrow at 7:00pm Pacific. For those of
us here on the east coast right now, that’s going to be 10:00pm. That’ll be at
Twitch.tv/CriticalRole. Check it out, it’s really funny. We watched the episode earlier; I hope you
enjoy it. Between the Sheets, our new episode airs Monday at 7:00pm Pacific, 10:00pm here. Our guest
this week is the fantastic Liam O’Brien over there on the side table. [cheering] AUDIENCE MEMBER: We love you, Liam! [cheering] MATT: Check that out on Monday at
twitch.tv/CriticalRole. Also, we do not have a Wyrmwood giveaway this week, because instead, all
of our live attendees tonight at the show, when the show is over on your way out, you’ll be receiving a $25 Wyrmwood gift card. SAM: Whoa! [cheering] MATT: Our amazing friends at Wyrmwood have been so
kind to help facilitate this for all of you amazing Critters out there. On your way out
tonight, make sure you grab it, don’t forget it, you’ll regret it. Whew. Man, my heart is going
(quick pounding). Never get used to this. A quick little thing before we get started on the game. We
mentioned it earlier this year, we have our fantastic continuation of the Vox Machina: Origins
comic book with Dark Horse that we’re in development on. The next six issues are
currently– we’re in the process of getting them going. Currently, the planned date is the summer
of next year. We’re happy to announce that our original artist, Olivia Samson, a fellow Critter
from the community, who’s done an amazing job, is returning to be the artist for this. We’re going
to reveal a couple little art pieces here to show you some of the new characters you’ll meet next
summer, including our very own Pike and Percy. If you want to give a quick view of that up there. [cheering] MATT: Some of these characters you may have seen
in our pre-stream recap video from years ago. You also get to see– I think some of these cast
hasn’t seen them until tonight now. We’ve got Abjurist Noja, we’ve got Wilhand Trickfoot up
there, we got Pike when her hair was still dark, before her first death. LAURA: Stonejaw Strongjaw! MATT: We have casual prison Percival in his true
Whitestone, pale-ass self. We got Drez Vina, we got a temple keeper who was working for Lady Kima
in Westruun. We have Realmseer Eskil Ryndarien, who you saw a few times throughout the first
campaign, as well as Nala the dryad, who you got to meet– the nymph that you got to meet later in
the campaign. You get to see her first interaction with Grog. A couple other fun characters that
you’ll get to see throughout the story. Anyway, really excited about that. More information will
become available as it does, but hopefully you guys get to enjoy it next year. [cheering] MATT: So. Without further ado, my friends. [cheering] MATT: We’ve got a few quick announcements again.
Like how I did that? SAM: Yeah, yeah. MATT: Pull those heart strings. We have our
fantastic sponsor for the evening. Since the beginning of the campaign, our good friends at D&D
Beyond. SAM: Yeah. D&D Beyond, guys. You know them, you
love them, and to celebrate Critical Role live in New York, D&D Beyond has set up a discount code,
just for a limited time. It’ll get you 25% off digital books on the D&D Beyond marketplace, but
you got to use this code, and I’m not making this up, it’s SamIsOurHero. [laughter and cheering] SAM: Go check it out. In fact, I’m so flattered
that they named their code after me that I wrote a little Broadway song. Can’t even hear the pitch.
(singing) Da. (spoken) Okay, about their discount code, SamIsOurHero. Okay. I’m going to sing it a
cappella. (clears throat) (singing to the tune of “Dear Theodosia”) SamIsOurHero is the code to use.
To buy your books at steeply discount rates. When you go to D&D Beyond, just mention me. ASHLEY: (singing) Sam is our hero and he’s
handsome too. Look at that smile, and such a boyish face. Oh my god, these lyrics are so
crappy. Why did I agree? SAM: This crowd is loving my song! ASHLEY: They think it’s slightly too long. SAM: I’ll win a Tony Award after all! I’ll do
whatever it takes– ASHLEY: This was an awful mistake. SAM and ASHLEY: I cannot wait for our curtain
call! Sam is ruining Hamilton. I hope the audience knows that Ashley told him no. And we know that we
should start the game now, but it’s such a pretty song for D&D Beyond, so we sang it anyway. Bidet,
bidet. Sam is our hero, yeah. Bidet, bidet. Okay, Matt, take it away. [cheering] MARISHA: Oh my god. TRAVIS: Amazing. MATT: Thank you, Sam and Ashley, and thank you our
friends at D&D Beyond. And thank you Hamilton for hopefully enduring that terrible butchering of a
wonderful piece of music. SAM: I think when Lin-Manuel wrote the song, he
thought that it would be used in a D&D Beyond ad eventually. MATT: I think it was hard to avoid down the road,
yeah. Well, all right guys. Let’s go ahead and bring us in to tonight’s episode of Critical
Role. SAM: Ooh! [cheering] SAM: When do I change into my sailor outfit? [click, TV static] [groovy Critical Role theme] [cheering] MATT: And welcome back. Do we have the mic working
now? TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: Perfect, there we go. Welcome back. Last we
left off, The Mighty Nein, in following a thread of information that may tie into some aspect of
Fjord’s curious history after he chest-vored a sphere, discovered that, apparently, a group of
individuals were hired to retrieve this and bring it to a Captain Avantika. Upon following this
thread, you found your way to the city of Nicodranas on the Menagerie Coast, outside the
Dwendalian Empire. You met up with Yasha once more, you happened to take care of a man who was
bothering Jester’s mother. Very thoroughly. Upon coming upon this character, Marius LePual, who
you’ve been following, you got into an altercation at the docks and accidentally took their boat.
However, you managed to sneak your way back to Nicodranas the following day before it seemed
there was much of an uproar searching for you. You stealth hired a crew, including bringing Orly the
tortle bard on as your navigator, and made your way out to sea towards this island called Urukaxl
that you believed may have been the one, based on this piece of a map that you had recovered within
the ship, The Mist. You changed the name of the ship to The Mistake. You became Captain Tusktooth,
was it? TRAVIS: Yes. MARISHA: Yes, own it, yes. TRAVIS: I mean, yeah. MATT: Following the map, you made your way through
the reef, taking on a bit of water briefly, but thankfully through some ingenuity, some quick
repairs, and the tenuous use of a magical tent, you kept it from sinking, and going towards the
shoreline of Urukaxl, there appeared to be another ship, a larger ship, waiting in the nearest bay.
Upon attempting to possibly make your way around it to run it aground, the ship seemed to be
cutting you off, and fired a warning cannon shot across the bow. You decided it was best to stop,
and began to gather yourselves as two small rowboats were making their way towards the outside
of The Mistake to whatever ends that may come to. Caleb, are you still below deck holding onto your
spell? LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Good. Because I believe that is where we
left off. Mighty Nein, as you see these two small boats slowly rowing their way towards you from the
far side of the bay, what do you do? MARISHA: Fjord. TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: Is this like one of those, like a
parfait? What’s it called? SAM: Oh, with the yogurt? Those are really good. MARISHA: No, not that one, when you talk with
other people who know how to sail. TRAVIS: Parlay? MARISHA: That one. TRAVIS: Yeah. I think it will be a parlay,
unfortunately. MARISHA: Oh, parfaits are bad? LAURA: Why unfortunately? TRAVIS: Well, I don’t know who these people are,
what kind of ship they’ve come in on. I mean, this can go one of two ways, either very amicably or we
all die. LAURA: Do you think it’s the Captain Avantika? TRAVIS: Oh, I don’t know. Do we have a spyglass
onboard this ship? Lead, anything? MARISHA: Ooh, oh! Caleb gave me his Frumpkin.
Frumpkin– [laughter] TRAVIS: I said a spyglass and you pulled out a
bird. MARISHA: Frumpkin, go spy on the ship. [laughter] MATT: Thankfully the intelligent creature managed
to swoop up before hitting the surface of the ocean there. Frumpkin continues to head off
towards the other ship. At this point in time, the rest of the rowboats travel, just about to reach
the bottom of The Mistake. TRAVIS: Oh, they’re that close? MATT: Well yeah, as you’re waiting here. If
there’s anything else you want to prepare in the meantime, I know you had said you changed your
form to look like the previous captain. TRAVIS: Yeah, so I’m going to look like the
half-orc captain. Was I close enough to hear him talk when he was on the dock? MATT: No, you were far away. TRAVIS: Shit, fuck, balls, ass! Okay, so I’m going
to make myself look like him. MATT: Yeah. It was less that you were far away and
more that you were in the water, and then made a thunder strike, and then were far away, and then
he was paralyzed– TRAVIS: Yeah, I know, we don’t have to relive it. MATT: Sorry. LIAM: From down below inside the bubble of
Leomund’s Tiny Hut, I pull out the wire and I cast Message up to Fjord and say: I have plugged the
bottom of the ship, so I think our troubles are behind us now. [laughter] TRAVIS: Can I reply to that message? MATT: Mm-hmm. TRAVIS: We’re about to be boarded by fucking
pirates. [laughter] [applause and cheering] SAM: Tell him they might have yogurt with them. TRAVIS: Can I make myself look like the Captain
Jawgrasp, but can I put like, a bloody bandage around my throat, as if I suffered a wound, and
I’ll talk like this. MATT: You can certainly try, yeah. TRAVIS: Okay. LAURA: Fjord, do you want us to look like anything
along with you, or should we just look like ourselves? TRAVIS: Well, I mean, not that you’re already
really super dangerous-looking, but maybe you could like, menace it up a little bit? LAURA: Okay, I look like me, only menacing. SAM: What, your eyebrows just go like this? LAURA: Like that, and like I put a lot of cool
tattoos on my arms, and like, I make my fangs even longer. MATT: Okay. I envision like the anime girl, where
like all of a sudden the eyes are covered in shadow. LAURA: Yeah! MATT: Yeah, perfect. LAURA: My dress is like, tight now. MATT: All right. [cheering] MATT: Anybody else? TALIESIN: I don’t even know how to interpret this
kind of input, god. First of all, I want to see how many people are in these boats coming in, are
they– MATT: Make a perception check. TRAVIS: I’m going to roll a perception check. SAM: First roll. TALIESIN: It’s terrible, but I’m pretty
perceptive, so that’s, where is that, 12. MATT: They’re getting pretty close, so it’s not a
terrible DC at this point in time. There are two figures in one boat and a very large figure in the
other, alone. One of the boats is like, sinking in the water, or not really sinking, but is
definitely pushing towards the boundaries of buoyancy. The other boat, however, seems to carry
two figures, one looks to be a female, a little older, maybe in 50s or 60s, the other figure seems
to be the one that’s rowing. LAURA: What does her jacket look like? I mean,
sorry. MATT: I will say you cannot quite make out that
detail from this distance. TALIESIN: Looks like a jacket. MATT: Are you lowering any of the rope ladders,
or? TRAVIS: Yeah, no, hold on, I know the name. [cheering] TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m going to tell Beau to go
activate the windlass and lower the anchor. MARISHA: I go over and I smack Yasha’s ass. Is
that– Wait, that’s what you said, right? No, nope. TRAVIS: The windlass! MARISHA: The wind lass. TRAVIS: Yeah, and we’ll make sure that flag is
nice and high that had the gray– MATT: You got it. Yasha? ASHLEY: Am I in your way, Beau? MARISHA: Oh, I don’t know how to sail, so. That’s
all. ASHLEY: Okay. MATT: At this point you hear the two dull (thuds)
of the two other small rowboats hitting the bottom of the ship, and you hear the climbing up the side
of the boat. Eventually emerging, the first thing you see is one giant meaty hand come over the top
of the side of the ship, and rising up, you see a haggard female ogre. You see stringy, greasy hair
that’s peeling in front of the face, obscuring part of one eye, the other one looks to be a bit
clouded. You can see these like streaks of dark, what would’ve been possibly makeup, and beyond
that, a leather tunic and these thick, rippling, muscular arms. She eventually gets over the side
of the ship and then puts her hand over and helps the other two up. One of them appears to be a
gentleman, probably in his late 30s, mostly bald, a little bit of hair on the sides, a light blond,
and he seems to be a little more demure compared to the two. Immediately his gait and presence
seems to be more of at least a lower position on the hierarchy of the other ship. The last one that
comes up is the woman that you saw. This woman, she’s a tougher-looking middle-aged woman,
thicker, heftier body, weathered face. She’s wearing tattered robes, but beneath that there is
a set of leather armor, there is a cutlass to one side, and she has this small amulet that’s
dangling from a heavy chain around the neck. TALIESIN: Oh, before they even come up, I’m going
to look like the ship’s cook, I am not looking aggressive for this. I am putting on a chef’s
outfit and getting small and human with awful red hair, so, yeah, I’m out. MATT: As they step up, the ogre looks around at
the rest of you and grins with this broken, toothy glare. (snarls) The woman clears her throat and
addresses you. “You are requested to the bows of “The Squalleater immediately.” SAM: It’s the ship! That’s the ship that she
owns! TRAVIS: (pigeon cooing) MATT: “It is recommended by the captain that you
immediately make your way across with whatever “boats you have available. There’s a space for some
with us, but should you decline or make any move “outside of complete and utter compliance, you and
your ship will sink.” TRAVIS: (rasping) Actually, funny you mention
sinking our boat. Sustained some damage, so if I could request of the captain, perhaps some grace
while we go into shore. I’m afraid if we try to make it to her ship, we might be on the bottom of
the ocean. LAURA: His throat was slit, you can probably see.
So he has a hard time talking. MATT: She turns to you with like an intense glare
and goes, “Jawgrasp, you seem to have sustained “some sort of terrible wound.” TRAVIS: Yes, my throat, it’s all fucked up. MATT: Make a deception check with advantage. TRAVIS: Okay. MARISHA: Oh yas, queen. TRAVIS: 17! MATT: “If you come with whatever your most
immediate crew is,” and she looks about and says, “And it would appear that you’ve lost most of your
previous crew?” TRAVIS: Yeah, heavy casualties. Yeah. The
butcher’s bill was very steep, yep. MATT: “So you bring unproven individuals into our
plans?” TRAVIS: It would seem that way. [laughter] TRAVIS: But these are battle-hardened men and
women, every one of them. LAURA: Arr! MARISHA: Ah ha! [laughter] SAM: Yo ho! Ho? MATT: The woman glares back and forth across the
troupe of you and goes, “Well then, some of you “come onto the ship, the rest, take it into shore
with Bouldergut.” Points to the ogre, and the ogre goes, “(grunts) To shore.” TRAVIS: Jesus. Do you think you can accommodate
seven of us on your two craft? MATT: “Do you not have a ship of yourself?” TRAVIS: Do we? LAURA: I mean, we have this boat. SAM: We have a rowboat. MATT: You have a rowboat. TRAVIS: We have a rowboat. [laughter] TRAVIS: We will accompany you to The Squalleater. MATT: “Then come, please.” She immediately starts
to climb down with the help of Bouldergut the ogre. Down into one boat, the helper that she was
with goes down with her, and there are now the two rowboats and the rowboat that you have at your
disposal. It looks like the ogre is staying onboard to help whoever’s behind take The Mistake
to shore. TRAVIS: I’ll turn to the rest of the crew and be
like, just do whatever, she– he?– she says. MATT: (snarls) Big, big grin. The rest of the
crew, who has known you for three days, goes like, “Huh.” They start getting the ropes ready, start pulling
the anchor up. TRAVIS: Nott, make sure that Caleb comes with us.
He’s awful grumpy below decks. He needs to be on the part of the boat with us. SAM: You want me to go get Caleb? TRAVIS: Yeah, go get fucking Caleb! SAM: Okay, okay! [laughter] SAM: I think in addition to your throat getting
slashed, you might’ve sustained a bump on the head or something. I’ll go get Caleb. I run
downstairs. TRAVIS: He’s a terrifying fighter. Just make sure
he’s on the boats! SAM: I’ll go get Caleb. MATT: Okay. As you’re sitting there concentrating
with all this going on, the tension of what we were just told by Fjord a moment ago, you watch as
Nott runs down to grab you. LIAM: Yeah, I’m inside a giant sphere of glass,
basically. SAM: Can you keep it going, but not be here?
Because we have to go. We have to go. LIAM: No, I cannot do that. I have to stay here in
this bubble or the boat will sink, presumably. SAM: Will it sink quickly or slowly? LIAM: Well it lasted between ten and 20 minutes
while I got this going, but I am not a boat expert. That’s Fjord’s MO, so I can’t say for
certain how long this will stay afloat, no. SAM: Listen, we’ve got to make this decision on
our own. He’s entrusted me to come get you. We have to go on this boat with these pirates, or
else we’ll all be killed. Can you just temp it in, just like, rough it in? Just sort of close the
wound as much as you can. LIAM:Nein, I cannot do that, but I could walk
away from this. Are we all leaving? There are actually pirates above? SAM: There are real pirates. We’re going to get on
a boat with them and go to another, to see other pirates, but everything’s okay. Everything’s going
to be fine, because Fjord has convinced them that he’s the guy that we killed before, except with a
massive throat laceration. LIAM: Okay. I am trying to process this as quickly
as I can. I’m glad that I spent all the time making this. Let’s go, fuck it. I walk out of
Leomund’s Tiny Hut. It goes (whooshes), gone. MATT: Okay, you watch as this sphere immediately
vanishes as you exit the exterior of it, and what brief repairs were placed against there seem to
hold for the time being. There is a slow leak. You do see it is taking on water, but it is, at the
moment, a trickle. LAURA: Is Gallan still down there fixing it up? MATT: In the rest of this journey when you came
out of the reef, Gallan had done his best to repair it, but there’s only so much you can patch
something like that. It may hold for a while, who knows? Gallan literally as this is happening sees
the leak and goes like, “Okay, you know, this is– “it should work. As long as we don’t stay out here
for too long, I think we’ll be okay.” LIAM: Yeah. As we go up topside, I say quietly to
Nott: You know, I did not allow for Gallan to go inside the bubble, so it’s all the same to him,
let’s go. SAM: All right, let’s go. MATT: “Great, perfect. Have fun wherever you’re
going.” SAM: Oh yeah, you’ll be fine down here. We’ll send
word soon. MATT: “You said something about pirates?” SAM: (clears throat) No. High rats. There were
rats on the top of the mast and we took care of them. MATT: Make a deception check. TRAVIS: No good at these. SAM: 16. MATT: He goes, “Oh, I mean, I hate fucking rats.” SAM: Yeah. MATT: “I’m glad you took care of them. That gets
real bad as far as the food stores down here in “the cargo hold. Thank you for that.” SAM: Aye aye. MATT: “All right, toodaloo!” Sits down and gets
himself an orange, unaware. TRAVIS: That poor bastard. MATT: All right. You guys make your way back to
the deck of the ship. LIAM: Yeah, and going up also, I grab hold of that
leather thong that’s tied around my thigh and I cast Mage Armor on the way up. MATT: Okay, good to know. LAURA: Ooh. Leather thong! MATT: I hope that’s written in your inventory. MARISHA: Hey Caleb. I took Frumpkin and I threw
him overboard to go spy on things. If you do that thing where you get all hazy, we might see shit.
Don’t do it right now! Wait till we’re on the– yeah. LIAM: Okay. MARISHA: Your bird’s spying on pirates. LIAM: Tally ho. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: All right, so are you all getting in the
boats, or are some of you staying behind? What’s the plan? LAURA: Let’s all get in the boats. TALIESIN: I think better together than not. MATT: All righty. All of you make your way down
into one of the three boats, and begin rowing your way across this gulf to the ship. Now as you
approach this ship, you can see it’s a massive, tri-mast ship. You can see where those doors were
open, there are large, heavy cannons facing your direction. TRAVIS: Coming out of the gun port? [cheering] MATT: Yeah. I’m so proud of you. LAURA: Travis, you look really hot. [cheering] LIAM: (mocking) Ha ha. You’re so pretty! MATT: From the gun ports on the gun deck or the
tween deck, as it’s sometimes called. [cheering] MATT: Anyway, so, as you make your way towards
this massive ship, the large rope– I want to say a ladder more than a giant net-looking ladder, is
thrown over the side that hits and breaks the surface for a bit so that it floats. The boats
come up to the side and the older woman is inside the boat, gives a look to the rest of you and
goes, “After you.” LAURA: Arr. TRAVIS: I’ll go first. SAM: I think it’s women and children first that
are supposed to go, actually. TRAVIS: No, that’s not right at all. SAM: Okay. MATT: All right. SAM: You’ll go first, Fjord? TRAVIS: Sure. Yep, I mean, yes. MATT: As you guys are climbing, you see The
Mistake is now being led over towards shore. You make your way to the top of the deck, and as you
come across, one by one, you see there waiting for you is about ten figures, all in various scattered
bits of seafaring attire, leathers and billowing cloths that seem to have seen many a journey out
here on the open Lucidian Ocean. Immediately, your attention is grabbed by the central figure, a
female elf, with light brown skin, with red, wild hair that falls in clustered strings around her
face and down the back. You see she’s wearing a long, sleeveless gray coat with a high collar that
bends at the edge of the shoulders, with a thick scarf around her neck. You see she has heavy
elbow-length gloves and knee-high boots that look weathered with use and probably brutality. They
are stained in places where that could only have been acquired by meeting the face of somebody
else. As you step up, she has her arms crossed in front of her, cocks her head to the side and looks
to you specifically and goes, (french accent) “Well hello, Captain. You have returned from
your journey, Jawgrasp?” TRAVIS:Oui.[laughter, cheering] TRAVIS: We suffered heavy damage and casualties,
but we have returned, successful. MATT: “Successful? Well wondrous. Please, give me
the item requested.” [laughter] MARISHA: Sorry, when he means successful, he means
unsuccessful. MATT: “Who are you?” MARISHA: … I’m… MATT: “Captain, it would appear to me that you
have brought The Mist all this way across our “specific route through the reef with a crew that I
have not met, please introduce me.” TRAVIS: Oh, yes, we actually came under such heavy
heat we had to rebrand the ship as The Mistake. MATT: “This surprises me not at all.” [laughter] TRAVIS: Yeah. Yep. We came across some new crew.
May I introduce– MARISHA: Tracy. [laughter, cheering] MARISHA: Tracy the bowman. TRAVIS: Tracy Bowman. Next to Tracy you will
see… LIAM: Oh, Phillip. [laughter, cheering] LIAM: My name is Phillip. Bone-jour. TRAVIS: Phillip is a talented bosun. May I also
introduce the tall and powerful– ASHLEY: Hello, my name is Janet. [laughter] SAM: What’d she say? LAURA: Janet. SAM: Oh, Janet. ASHLEY: I do various things on the ship for him,
and you know, so many things. Just all of the things that need to be done. [laughter] MATT: She nods along, with a very confused look on
her face. ASHLEY: Argh. [laughter] MARISHA: That’s good. She’s great. LIAM: We’re all going to die. TALIESIN: Cornelius, and I apologize for the way
I’m dressed right now. I was in the middle of– well, it’s obvious I was making a stew, this
really nice vegetable stew, and everything went topsy-turvy so quick, I don’t even– ASHLEY: It was so good. TALIESIN: It’s very good stew. ASHLEY: He’s very talented. TRAVIS: He’s a talented cook, that one. What was
your name again? TALIESIN: Cornelius. TRAVIS: Corneli– yeah, the food just blows your
mind. TALIESIN: Sometimes they call me Stew because I– MATT: “Cornelius. Very well, I look forward to
seeing what you are capable of cooking up, Cornelius.” TALIESIN: Oh, I’m very excited. MATT: “This one?” LAURA: I’m a pirate! [laughter, cheering] SAM: hashtag I’m A Pirate. LAURA: I’m Pirate Sapphire. AUDIENCE: Aww. MATT: “She’s adorable.” LAURA: Argh, thanks. MATT: “What about this little runt you brought
on?” SAM: I’m Gilligan. [laughter, cheering] SAM: I was told this was only going to be about
three hours long. To be honest with you, I thought we were going on a pleasure cruise. But you know,
I’ve met some people, and we’ve had a great time, and yeah. Really nice boat you got here. MATT: She turns back to you and begins to walk a
circle around you, arms behind her back now. Folded. “Jawgrasp, so you come to me with a new
crew, and you tell me that you are successful but “yet you are not. Describe to me what transpired to
prevent you from acquiring this thing you have paid for.” TRAVIS: Well you see, we now know the location of
the artifact you seek. It’s as good as ours. MATT: “How did this terrible, terrible thing
happen to you?” She reaches up and touches the side of your neck. TRAVIS: Oh god. MATT: Her hand passes through– TRAVIS: It’s real sore. MATT: –the illusion, and she steps back and
goes… [groaning] LAURA: Shit, shit, shit. TRAVIS: All part of the plan. MATT: “I must commend you, it has been a very long
time since someone has been so bold with such “massive balls to come onto my ship. And I think
that perhaps I got where I am today not by seeing “through a few paltry illusions.” TRAVIS: Well, I must commend you on your
perceptiveness. My balls are quite large. [cheering] TRAVIS: I will drop the mask. MATT: You drop the the Disguise Self, okay. As you
say that and the Disguise Self drops, you hear a series of sounds that you hadn’t really heard in
succession before. (clicking) [groaning] MATT: As you see most of the crew now wielding
some variation of the firearms you had seen both in Hupperdook or the traveling armies of the
Empire eastward towards the boundaries of Xhorhas. [laughter] MATT: Have them trained on the lot of you. The
captain still now has her hands crossed in front of you and goes, “Well, I guess now that we are
out in the open, who the fuck are you and how did “you come in the possession of The Mist?” TRAVIS: That is a wonderful story. One that I
would love to share. You have the honor of being in the company of The Mighty Nein. [cheering] MATT: “But there are only seven of you.” [laughter] TRAVIS: It’s a long story, but I’m afraid we won’t
be able to tell it or further converse unless we have an atmosphere of equal exchange here, and
this hostile act is not a step in the right direction, Captain. MATT: “So you are the captain of that ship. Are
you suggesting that we parlay?” [laughter] MARISHA: Yes. Say yes, Fjord. Say yes. TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: “Very well. Well, since you’ve been so
forthright, Tracy, Phillip, Sapphire, Cornelius, “Janet, and Gilli-gone?” TRAVIS: (laughs) Gilli-gone? Hon hon. MATT: “Welcome aboard the Squalleater. I am
Captain Avantika. Now, the fact that you are here, “that you’ve made your way across the reef, that
you managed to best our sister ship and the crew “on board, which I assume have all been
dispatched?” TRAVIS: Indeed. LIAM: Just out of curiosity, if I look back over
my shoulder, do I still see a boat? TRAVIS: Oh, yeah! [laughter] MATT: You do, you do. [cheering] MATT: It’s noticeably lower. In maybe a short ten
minute period, it’ll be finding its way onto the beach. TRAVIS: It’s also got a giant fucking ogre on it
now. MATT: Yeah. MARISHA: Can I look around real quick and see if I
see Frumpkin? MATT: Make a Perception check. MARISHA: Sleeves are so big. Shit. I think that
was an eight? TRAVIS: Get your hat out of the way. MARISHA: This is not a good dice for this
lighting. 11. MATT: You look around real fast and you see a few
birds are perched up in the sails, but you don’t know which one’s Frumpkin, if Frumpkin’s up there.
One of them does look small, might be him. MARISHA: I lost another fucking owl, goddamn it. LIAM: I hear her say that, and for ten or 15
seconds, jump into Frumpkin’s vision to see what I see. MATT: Right now you look up and you can see
through Frumpkin’s vision, down on the deck, Frumpkin has a view from above and is present. The
captain continues. “Well, then my next question “is, what are you planning here? Why have you gone
to all this trouble to kill my crew, to bring the “ship right back to me and then, to be perfectly
honest, prostrate yourself before us?” TRAVIS: Well I imagine there must be a hefty
reward for the item that you seek. We went through great troubles just to acquire it. MATT: “Troubles?” TRAVIS: Perhaps. MATT: “Do you know the purpose of this item?” TRAVIS: Yep. [laughter] MATT: She looks at you with an eye that has tore
through a thousand lies, and gives a surprising smile of acknowledgement. “Interesting. Well,
you’ve proven that you are talented, at least, to “have survived this far. But I’m a bigger fan of
loyalty. Talent and loyalty, well, that is “obviously my birthday. As it stands, The Mighty
Nein, there are two paths you can walk. You, one, “could live under the crew and proves yourselves as
both skilled and as trustworthy as I hope you may “be, if our goals are indeed aligned. Perhaps even
join us, if the deeds please me. Or two, we weigh “your corpses down with rocks and leave you here
amongst the reef.” LAURA: Those are the only options there? [laughter] MATT: “I’m afraid so, little Sapphire.” LAURA: Cool. MATT: “Captain, what was your actual name?” TRAVIS: Fjord. MATT: “Captain Fjord. What’ll it be?” TRAVIS: It’s actually Captain Tusktooth, but–
(clears throat) MATT: “We’ll stick with Fjord.” TRAVIS: Cornelius, what say you in this highly
delicate matter? TALIESIN: I don’t know, I’ve got some very
specific burial needs, if we’re actually going to go that way. [laughter and cheering] TALIESIN: I’m unhappy with everything at the
moment. I would really like to negotiate some base points of this deal. MATT: At the moment you say this, you feel this
cold sensation in the back of your skull as one of the cocked rifles is now pressed up against the
base of the head. TALIESIN: Do I know what a rifle is? MATT: You have a no idea. LAURA: You know what a co– TALIESIN: Ah, that’s cold. (laughs) Oh, that’s
really cold. Oh, ooh. MATT: She goes, “There is no negotiation. I’m
sorry, but the choice you make now, that is–” TRAVIS: That is not necessary. We would absolutely
love to prove our loyalty in your service. SAM: I would say this, though. Just as a curious
tourist, if you were to kill us you would not find the location of the item. MATT: “Well, based on the fact that you brought
yourselves this far to tell me that you have it, I “would assume that it’s somewhere either on your
ship across the way that I currently am in “possession of, or it’s on your person, so we could
rummage through your bodies to find it afterwards.” [laughter] MARISHA: How far would that rummaging entail? Just
curious how far you would look. LAURA: Have you ever seen The Fifth Element? [laughter, cheering] LAURA: It’s a really popular play, I don’t… MATT: “I’m afraid I’m not as involved in the arts
as some, perhaps.” She puts her hand up and raises her fingers twice, and you feel the pressure of
the barrel back off, and all the guns eventually, they stay trained on you, but they pull back a bit
and go lax a little bit. “Do you agree?” SAM: We don’t have a choice, so yes, yes. TRAVIS: It’s a resounding yes, of course. LAURA: Yeah. MATT: “Well then, Mighty Nein, welcome to the
Squalleater.” (claps) All the guns pull back a bit. Everyone stays present, and they’re keeping
an eye on you. As much as this agreement has happened, there’s still a sense of careful
watchfulness from the crew, but Avantika seems to drop that intensity and reaches forward a hand to
shake yours. SAM: Do we pick our quarters first? Or do we get
assigned roles? Or is there a uniform that we need to wear? TALIESIN: Does the yogurt come before or after?
Really looking forward to that. MATT: “If you’re hungry, there are plenty of
fruits that have dropped from the trees on the “island. First order of business, some of my men
are going to work to begin repairing my other “ship. In the meantime, you relax, bring your
things aboard. I would like to question some of “you about what you know.” TRAVIS: By all means. LIAM: Hey guys, let’s steal a boat. It’ll be so
much fun. [laughter] MATT: As the captain turns to the older woman who
accompanied you and goes, “Vera. Let me introduce “you to your charges for the evening.” TRAVIS: Vera? (mic thuds) TRAVIS: Oh, Jesus! LIAM: Caleb died! LAURA: Which one of us was shot?! Caduceus has
been shot! [laughter] SAM: Sorry, guys. We’ve never been on stage
before. It’s a learning curve. We’ll figure it out. MATT: The captain, “I will return in just a little
bit, but in the meantime, Vera can answer your “questions. Don’t do anything stupid.” LAURA: Never. MATT: “Good.” The captain steps down into her
quarters, and Vera approaches and looks you all over with a very intense glare. “All right, so.
Welcome. Are you hungry?” SAM: Always, yes, of course. TRAVIS: Yeah yeah. TALIESIN: Usually. MATT: “With me.” She turns around and begins to
leave. You begin to see in the distance another boat. One of the boats that you guys had taken to
the ship has made its way in the direction of The Mistake. What would you like to do while you’re
here on the ship? TRAVIS: I’ll make my way over to Janet– Yasha and
take her by the arm and say, you okay with this? ASHLEY: Well I don’t know if I trust her, or what
she wants with the sphere. Maybe you should ask her if she knows what it does? TRAVIS: If I ask her about it. Let her know that I
don’t know anything. ASHLEY: Shit. TRAVIS: Oh, you don’t think she’d believe me? LAURA: Well, what if one of us asked her what it
does? Like you won’t tell us or something. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah. TRAVIS: That’s a fine idea. Yeah, like I hoard the
information? LAURA: Yeah. I like that you brought Yasha aside
and then all of us just– TALIESIN: Jumped right in. SAM: Sorry. LAURA: Sorry, I couldn’t help but hear what you– TRAVIS: Very small ship. Yeah. Work your magic. LAURA: Okay. We’re going to ask Avantika if she
will tell us. SAM: If she’ll tell us? LAURA: Yeah, because he won’t. SAM: But why would she tell us? LAURA: Because we’re very charming. SAM: We are that. That’s true. [laughter] TALIESIN: How long are we going to hold these
disguises? LAURA: Well, I think I look really good, so as
long as it lasts. TALIESIN: All right. LAURA: Then I might make my dress like this
permanently because of how sexy I am. [cheering] LIAM: Are we off on our own a little bit from
everyone training guns upon us? MATT: They’re still watching you. You’re still on
the deck, but you have some time to discuss or anything you want to do. TRAVIS: Not making any movements to move the ship,
it’s just staying? MATT: At the moment, nothing. LIAM: What is our plan here? I’m trying to move my
lips as little as possible. We go with this for the time being? Then when the moment is right, we
get away? Or are we just pirates now? [laughter] MARISHA: I second that question. TRAVIS: Yeah, I third that question. So what I
have worked out is that we have what she needs, we got to try and find out as much as we can about
why she wants it and what it does, where does she want it for herself or is she taking it somewhere.
That’s about all I got. MARISHA: Well, I want to figure out if she’s just
another matchmaker or keeping it for herself if that is a thing. TRAVIS: Yeah. Oh shit, is Marius LePual back on
the other ship? MATT: Yep. MARISHA: Aw, we forgot Marius! TRAVIS: That poor bastard. Oh shit, our fucking
tortle! MARISHA: We’re not leaving though, we’re not
leaving anywhere. They’re going to fix that ship. TRAVIS: They better not sink! LAURA: No, she said we could go back and get our
things. They’re our things. TALIESIN: They need to crew that ship. TRAVIS: I like Orly. Yeah, okay. LIAM: I would warrant a guess that we are stuck
here for the time being, but I think at a certain point we are going to want to go, and if that
happens, all of you, if you see a window in which we can get away, tell Nott or myself, and we will
start a snow chain. TRAVIS and TALIESIN: A what? LIAM: We will tell our friends that it’s time to
get out of here. Just find you or me, and we spread it quickly, so we don’t leave anyone behind
like we almost fucked off without Caduceus, from the docks. LAURA: Sorry again about that. TALIESIN: No, that’s okay. I wasn’t that worried. TRAVIS: Fair enough. I feel like we can make some
ground without fighting if we have to, I feel like we can find out what we need and maybe slip away,
I think that’s a great idea. MARISHA: Well, okay, but still, why would we run
if we don’t know what this thing is inside of you? I’m assuming you want it out of you, right? TRAVIS: No, I kind of fucking like it, actually. MARISHA: So we just need information and then we
run? TALIESIN: Well, they’re also fixing the ship. At
some point, there’s two ships. LAURA: So we’d steal both of them. [cheering] TALIESIN: That’s pretty cool. TRAVIS: How about, in the meantime, keep an eye on
the people around right? Watch what they’re doing. The things they’re doing on the mast. Rigging,
right? Try and familiarize yourself with working a boat. MARISHA: Shit, we’re supposed to learn from these
people? TRAVIS: If you can. LIAM: I think for the time being, we are in fact
pirates, and that Fjord, you’re absolutely correct, learn as much as possible, and when the
opportunity is right we leave, but for now, we have to swiff them, they are our new best
buddies. TRAVIS: Sure, yeah, our partners. LAURA: Captain Tusktooth. TRAVIS: Yes, Sapphire? LAURA: Could you maybe make some more of those
Idiot’s Guides and spread them around through the rest of us? TRAVIS: More of the what? LAURA: Those guides that you made, the sailing
guides. [laughter] TRAVIS: This is mine. I earned this. And it’s not
actually in the game! MATT: Within a short time of you guys having this
conversation, Vera returns to the deck of the ship and goes, “The captain would like you to please
join her in the quarters below, please.” LAURA: All of us? MATT: “Sure.” TRAVIS: It’ll be our pleasure. MATT: You guys follow Vera down below to the dark,
and it takes a second for your eyes to adjust going from the bright daylight to the darker
quarters in the deck below, but you’re led to the captain’s quarters, this beautiful open room with
a mismatched patchwork of old carpets that have all been laid over each other from various designs
from around Exandria. There’s a desk that has a bunch of carve marks into it, there’s some papers
laid out, and there you can see Avantika, sitting with her legs up on the desk, currently eating on
some sort of a tropical fruit, watching you all enter with a bit of a grin on her face. “Please,
fill the space.” TRAVIS: Yeah, mind if we partake of your beautiful
spread here? Is there food in this bitch? MATT: Make a perception check. TRAVIS: 14. MATT: Yes actually, on the right side of the room,
there is a small pack of freshly collected tropical fruits, there’s some nuts, a cheese
that’s been designed for longer travel and will keep well. “By all means, please.” SAM: (gobbling) TRAVIS: That’s a candle, that’s a candle! Stop
eating the candle. [laughter] TALIESIN: Paring knife. TRAVIS: No, put it back. [laughter] SAM: It’s a candle bar. MATT: The doors close behind you, but before the
doors close, all the rest of the crew that were armed are essentially right nearby waiting to
storm in at any given point in time. TRAVIS: Outside the door? MATT: Right outside the door. TRAVIS: Is it essentially us and the captain? MATT: It’s just you and the captain, from what you
can tell. It’s just you guys. MARISHA: Are there like portcullis windows? Is
that– no? Are there windows? MATT: You see a couple of windows and a doorway
behind her that leads to a balcony that looks out the back of the ship. MARISHA: Does she have papers and shit
everywhere? MATT: You see a couple of papers. Actually, you
see a familiar-looking map. SAM: Oh! MATT: Akin to what you guys were supposed to have
last week, but the mail service decided not to have it. We have the map of the Menagerie Coast
and another map that has a similar layout to what you found mostly burned in The Mist. As well as a
few other pieces of paper that appear to be tucked away into portions of the desk. MARISHA: While they’re having a conversation, I
want to do a scan and see if I can see any floorboards that look like they can be popped up,
maybe marks on the floor from chests, anything that looks like it could be a secret compartment. MATT: Make an investigation check. Actually, this
would be a perception check. It’s just a glance, but it’s going to be a higher DC. Investigation,
you’d have to actually physically rummage through the room, so make a perception check. LIAM: Also glancing around for books. MATT: Both of you make a perception check. MARISHA: Yep, that’s balls, big balls. Fjord-size
balls. MATT: You rolled balls? MARISHA: Eight. MATT: Going to get you a d20, that instead of a
one, it has a pair of balls. Right there, yeah. An eight? The room looks pretty solidly made, and the
floorboard, while there are scuffs to it, there’s nothing that gives you the idea that there would
be any hidden compartment or any sort of small cubby that would be out of view. What’d you get? LIAM: Big 11. MATT: You do see two books that are laying on the
shelf to your left amongst a set of candles. There’s a small lantern. You see a set of
navigation tools that are barely poking out of a small wooden box. Yeah, there are two books there.
You can’t quite see the binder, or if there is anything written on the sides. It’s pretty
plain-bound. Anyways, the door’s closed. The captain looks to you and goes, “All right, so now
that you’ve agreed to become our friend, I would “like to see the first test of you proving your
loyalty. You have this item I require? You have it “here? Where is it?” SAM: It’s very dangerous. Before we tell you
anything about it, we want to make sure that you know how to handle it. MATT: (laughs) “Little goblin girl, trust me. I
have a decent idea of what I’m doing.” SAM: A decent idea? We’ve seen it do things, scary
things. We’ve seen someone melt while touching it. MATT: Make a deception check. SAM: That’s a 12. Oh, minus three. A nine. MATT: She goes–nein— “Oh my goodness, that
sounds terrible. Well, obviously we cannot have “you touching it, then.” TRAVIS: If you don’t mind my asking– MATT: “Please, cut through the bullshit for me,
please, Captain Fjord.” TRAVIS: Tusktooth. MATT: “Will you tell me if I call you Tusktooth?” TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: “Then, Captain Tusktooth, please tell me.” [cheering] MARISHA: Don’t fall for it, don’t fall for it.
She’s trying to use them titties. Don’t fall for it. TRAVIS: I know. If I could, you seem so anxious.
When was the last time the item was in your possession? I’m so excited to reunite you with it.
I feel like if you tell us your story, we’ll share in that sense of triumph. MATT: “Respectfully, you’re not in a position,
once again, to negotiate. You tell me and I’ll “tell you, a little back and forth. Honestly, the
one who has to prove their loyalty right now is “not myself.” TRAVIS: You’re correct. I have it on very good
authority that an island that is surrounded by the Deeprow Reef is housing the item you seek. MATT: “I wonder how it found its way there?” Make
a deception check. TRAVIS: 20. [cheering] MATT: “You know precisely where it lies in the
reef?” TRAVIS: I do. MATT: “Show me,” and she pushes forward the map,
the same similar map to what you were given. You have it with you? TRAVIS: I do. Fuck, I picked the one reef that
doesn’t have any goddamn islands. She doesn’t know that, and I’m not saying this out loud. MARISHA: Secret island. TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah. Oh, uncharted islands! Let’s
not do that. [laughter] TRAVIS: If you make your way to the Deeprow Reef,
right off the shores of Vide Cay, you’ll find an unguarded, old, ruined fort. There the item is
being protected and held. MATT: “So you stole my ship and came all this way
to tell me that this item was not in your “possession and is another place. Why were you
coming to the island? I’m very confused.” TRAVIS: Well, you see, Marquis LePual let us know
that you were in dire need of it, and that there was heavy coin and glory in its delivery. Now, as
you can see, I lost my original crew and found these bunch of fuckwits. You see, I do owe them a
little bit of coin for their trouble, and I sure would hate to leave them empty-handed. Plus I want
to see what happens when you’re reunited with your treasure. MATT: “Well, first off,MariusLePual is merely
a bullshit messenger, but I’m glad at least he “could bring you to us. Is that all you know about
the actual sphere?” TRAVIS: Perhaps. [laughter] MATT: She’s looking right into you, lids
half-closed, this dagger stare of trying to read any sort of give. TRAVIS: Captain, I hope you understand that this
is not my first rodeo. If I were to tell you everything that I know right now, why would you
need me alive? MATT: “Very well, let’s trade a bit. The object I
have not seen before, but I know of it and am “hoping to bring it to this island for a purpose. I
had recently hired an individual known as Jamedi “Cosko, a very well-established adventurer, delver
of dungeons. Cosko is a–” Not Costco. [laughter] TRAVIS: That’s what I heard. MARISHA: That’s what I heard, too. MATT: C-O-S-K-O, Cosko. TRAVIS: Great pizza place. MARISHA: Yeah, you can get your crew in bulk. TRAVIS: No, no, no, take it easy! MATT: “To spend a few days across the jungles of
the island to see what there is to be found there. “You see, this object, this sphere, it needs to
return. There is a temple in there that is from “long ago, and has been since refitted by its
current denizens. Something at the very bottom of “that temple requires to be reunioned, reunited
with this thing I seek. So–” LAURA: What is it, at the bottom of the temple? MATT: “Does the name Uk’otoa mean anything to
you?” TRAVIS: It sure as fuck doesn’t. Could you say
that again slower? LIAM: Yeah, I’m sorry, you have a very thick
accent. Sometimes it is– [laughter] LIAM: I’m losing a couple of things here and
there, no offense. MATT: She throws a quick dagger in the direction
of Caleb that drags the cheese from his hand and sticks to the wall. LIAM: Was I eating cheese? MATT: Apparently. (laughter) MATT: You were. LIAM: My perception is so low! (laughter) TRAVIS: Stay away from the captain’s cheese! LIAM: I thought that was a metaphor. MARISHA: That was a triple-aged Gouda! LAURA: No, but really, what did you say? What was
the name? MATT: Uk’otoa. Spelled U-K apostrophe O-T-O-A.
“Uk’otoa, the great leviathan.” MARISHA: Gate of the leviathan? MATT: “The great leviathan.” MARISHA: Oh, the great leviathan! TRAVIS: Do you know what that means? LIAM: I have a good sense of it! MARISHA: It’s a fucking leviathan! TRAVIS: I don’t know what the fuck that means! SAM: It’s in your book! MATT: Her eyes are trained on Fjord as she says
this. “Well, you see, I am the chosen of Uk’otoa.” She pulls the scarf down from under her neck, and
in the sternum, there is a tattoo of an eye. (gasping) [cheering] MARISHA: Wait, what tattoo was it? You’re
Uk’otoa? TRAVIS: No, she is the chosen of– MARISHA: You’re the chosen of Uk’o– sorry. The
sound– MATT: “You see, this great serpent once ruled the
Lucidian Ocean.” TRAVIS: (high-pitched) Serpent? MATT: Your reactions are killing me, Travis.
“Shortly after the Calamity washed this land clean “and Zehir, the Cloaked Serpent god, was banished
long away, one of his greatest creations was left “to rule this ocean: Uk’otoa.” LAURA: (whispering) Uk’otoa! MATT: “The indigenous people of this series of
islands, the Swavain Islands, called the Ki’Nau, “were granted the blessing of Uk’otoa.” LAURA: (whispering) Uk’otoa! MATT: “Nothing and no one could stand before them.
However, the surviving worshipers of this “once-powerful god, now banished, grew jealous, and
sealed him beneath the rocky depths of the ocean, “defaced the temples built in their name. I will
bring him back, and with their blessing, these “seas will be mine. Let me tell you, you’ve put in
with the proper lot.” TRAVIS: So say we all. Yeah. MATT: She puts the scarf back up to hide the
tattoo. “So I’ve shown you mine. You show me yours.” [cheering] LIAM: Caleb is in the background, pulling cheese
from the wall. [laughter] LAURA: Are we all supposed to get naked now? I
don’t– MATT: She doesn’t flinch. TALIESIN: Actually, if we’re going to be getting
ready for some trouble, I better change into my trouble gear, if we’re going there. I’m going to
drop Disguise Self. MATT: Which puts your head pretty much right into
the top. TALIESIN: I try not to frighten people, but I
figure if we’re getting messy– MATT: “I love this color palette.” TALIESIN: Thank you so much. I really like this
whole room. I think you’ve done a really good job with it. This is great. MATT: Back to Fjord. TRAVIS: Just a moment. MARISHA: You have some secret tattoos that we
haven’t seen yet? TRAVIS: No! SAM: Fjord, maybe we should come clean and form an
actual partnership with this person. If we keep lying to her, we’re going to lose. TRAVIS: Nott, I’m pretty sure you’re not playing
this out all the way. That shit’s in my body, okay? LAURA: You guys, you realize she’s standing right
here. [laughter] SAM: We’re whispering. MARISHA: We’re stage whispering. LAURA: I turn around and I start dancing to
distract her from what we’re doing. MARISHA: Avantika. MATT: “Yes?” Make a performance check. LAURA: Oh wait, oh my god, that’s good. 20. MATT: You can tell the captain’s, “Yes?” but is
also peeking out of the corner of her eye at this strange display. MARISHA: Hold on, let’s take advantage of this. Is
there anything else we need to talk about? LIAM: Well, clarifying question, did Avantika just
watch Fjord yell at Nott, “That shit is in my body”? MARISHA: No, no, no. LIAM: I want to know. MATT: You don’t know if she’s heard it, but you
guys are in a very enclosed space and she sees you all deliberating about something that you’re all
deciding whether or not to reveal. She’s not like, “Oh, everything’s fine.” She knows something’s up
and she’s waiting for someone to come out with it. MARISHA: Avantika. MATT: “Yes?” MARISHA: How can you be certain that you’re the
only chosen one of Uk’otoa? TRAVIS: Bless you. SAM and LAURA: (whispering) Uk’otoa. TALIESIN: Uk’otoa! TRAVIS: Did you all do that together? TALIESIN: Slow but there. MATT: “Well, I’m not certain, but I’m the one who
has the dreams.” TRAVIS: The dreams? MARISHA: Do you see why we did that? SAM: Okay, she said dreams. She had a dream. LAURA: You have wet dreams, you have wet dreams,
too! SAM: You do, you have dreams! TRAVIS: I have dreams. SAM: You have dreams! MATT: This big smile curls across her face, and
you watch her go a little flushed. She goes, “What “kind of dreams?” MARISHA: Do you often wake up vomiting salt water?
Do you have wet dreams? [laughter and cheering] MARISHA: You don’t have to be embarrassed. LIAM: You beat me to that by like 0.2346 seconds. SAM: She beat you to the wet dream? MATT: She looks a little confused, but says, “No.
Unlike some, I can hold my brine.” TRAVIS: She’s not looking at me, right? I’m a
(vocalizing). You have dreams? I’ve had dreams of being deep underwater. There’s a giant eye that
sees me. I hear a voice speaking to me, but I can’t reply. Does that ring any bells? MATT: Her smile grows wider. “So Uk’otoa has
spoken to you as well.” [cheering] TALIESIN: What are we supposed to be doing? SAM: (whispering) Uk’otoa. MATT: “Perhaps it was not some strange coincidence
you found your way here then, Fjord?” TRAVIS: Perhaps not. Perhaps this is destiny. I
must tell you, I am very eager to see what this leads to. I haven’t been entirely honest. [laughter] The item you seek does not lie on Vial Coa– what
the fuck was it called? Vide Cay. It does not reside there. I have it protected in an alternate
dimension. I’ll use Minor Image to show the sphere, and make it disappear. LAURA: Oh! MATT: All right. TRAVIS: If we can work together, I would like to
accompany you to this temple you speak of. I would like to see it find its resting place. MARISHA: Also, we’re not just some dumbass crew we
hired. We totally murdered all of your guys, so. [cheering] SAM: You know what the craziest part is? We don’t
really know why we did it. [cheering] SAM: We’reloco. MATT: Avantika is– it’s almost a palpable passion
behind her. The excitement and adrenaline is pumping through her body, and you can see her now
leaning forward in her seat. Her feet are off the desk and her hands are grasping the sides of it in
her gloves. She’s looking across, most of you, but focused on Fjord, and says, “Well, I’m very
curious to see where this leads as well. Then “perhaps let us stay the night onboard. Let’s wait
for Jamedi to return, if he’s plotted out the “course to this temple.” TRAVIS: If who’s plotted out the course to the
temple, who? MATT: “Jamedi Cosko.” TRAVIS: Cosko. MATT: “If this is indeed the kismet you speak of,
what better way to prove your loyalty to me and my “ship than to be the ones to go into this temple
with me?” LIAM: Yeah, absolutely, this is an advantageous
moment for all of us. If we can help you and your hentai cult achieve your goal– [laughter] We’ll all come out as winners. This is true if my
name is Philip. SAM: It is. MATT: She looks around to the rest of you, claps
her hands twice. The door opens behind and Vera enters. “Captain, you summoned?” She looks about
to the rest of you in the chamber and turns to her and goes, “Please clear out some quarters for our
guests. Tell Zoen and Waldok to sleep on the deck “tonight. Give them comfortable rooms and bedding.
Please, keep a close eye for Jamedi. Any day now, “I can feel it. We are very close.” MARISHA: Jamedi, is that Cosko? Is Jumanji–? MATT: That’s Cosko, yes. LIAM: Yes, Jumanji Costco, clear as day. TRAVIS: Oh no, no, no! MARISHA: He makes a note every time. LIAM: The tradition continues! MATT: Somewhere the spirit of Purvan sits next to
Vax’ildan, looking down and going, “Come on!” Vera nods and looks a bit curious. “Well then, follow
me. I’ll lead you to your chambers as the captain “wishes.” She looks confused and taken aback by
this sudden burst of generosity. What are you guys doing? Do you follow? SAM: Yeah. Absolutely. LAURA: I shove a bunch of the fruit in my pockets
on the way out. Is that better? MATT: There you go. TRAVIS: As we turn to leave the cabin, the
captain’s quarters, a quick look of anything that looks like info about where this temple is, in
case she decides to fucking slit our throats in the middle of the night. MATT: Make a perception check. MARISHA: Come on. TRAVIS: Ugh, a ten. MATT: You don’t see any indication of the temple
or anything, but you see now above the door as you’re exiting, there is a small shelf. You can
see a tiny little black iron shrine that looks to be an ouroboros serpent that’s eating its own
tail. About every inch or so, there’s an eye across the length of its body. In the center of it
you see a single metal sphere with a similar cloven line down the center of it. TRAVIS: Awesome! LIAM: Also, if we’re leaving the chamber and there
were all those people outside with the Percy sticks– MATT: Below deck, a lot of them have put the
rifles away and they have their hands on the side of their various cutlasses and longswords and
shortswords. LIAM: Yeah, if there’s any out, maybe there’s not,
but the thing I’m going to do leaving is to try to subtly get a good look at size, what I think they
are capable of. MATT: Roll an intelligence check. You can
definitely instantly with your feat, the DM’s bane feat. LIAM: 12. MATT: You get a quick glance at it. From a
superficial level, you have a good idea of how it looks. You’re not entirely certain of the
components required. LIAM: Can I see at least, is it this or this? LAURA: It depends, is it a fully-cocked rifle,
or– MATT: You see about three of them are longer
barrels. They’re a two-handed piece. There are a handful that are a simple– Laura Bailey, ladies
and gentlemen. TRAVIS: Everybody drink, yeah Laura! TALIESIN: Sorry, sorry, sorry. MATT: A few of them that have some sort of a
flintlock. One of them has a multi-barrel spinning piece. LIAM: Oh, okay. MATT: Familiar to some. TALIESIN: Strange to others. MATT: Is there anything else you guys wish to do
as you’re being led to the chambers? MARISHA: Is he saying that like we’re supposed to
be doing something? MATT: No. As you walk and you are led, Vera tells
two of the various deckhands to grab their shit and leave for the night. They confusedly do so and
look a bit put out by it, but you guys are led to these two chambers that are more comfortable than
at least the area you slept in The Mistake. TRAVIS: As we’re moving through, can we clock sort
of what’s being kept on the ship? Are there cells, are there barrels, are there packages of things? MATT: That would be down in the cargo hold, which
you’ve not been led to. You guys are currently on the main upper decks now. You’re led to your
chambers. There are still guards posted on the outside. There isn’t a complete trust in this
regard, but it’s not having weapons trained on you the entirety of your stay now, at least. TRAVIS: Did we previously see what the flag they
were flying was and what it looked like? I can’t remember. MATT: You didn’t pay a very close attention to it,
but you can go and check if you’d like. TRAVIS: Can we do that now? MATT: Sure. You head up to it and the flag
actually is an exact, or is close to a replica of the tattoo that she has on her sternum. LAURA: Whoa. TALIESIN: (impressed whistling) TRAVIS: That fucking eye. SAM: The guards posted at our door, do they have
guns or just like knives and stuff? MATT: Both. SAM: Oh, both! MATT: They have blades sheathed for close combat.
You know, when you’re below deck, generally you want shorter blades and things that are good for
close quarters. The firearms are more for if they have to do something at a distance. SAM: Okay. LIAM: So most everyone here is packing, then. MATT: You’ve seen at least seven or eight of the
crew with some form of firearm. Their make, from a quick glance, you saw a lot of their make and
construction varies. They seem to have been plucked from different sources. LAURA: Captain Tusktooth? TRAVIS: Yes? LAURA: Doesn’t your weapon have an eyeball on it? TRAVIS: It does. LAURA: That’s cool. TRAVIS: But I don’t want her to know that. LAURA: Oh, but– Oh! because she would also
swallow, so she would know that her weapon would have it. [laughter] TRAVIS: I can’t know that for sure, but I know
that as soon as she has it, there’s very little reason to keep us around. LAURA: Right. TRAVIS: Caduceus? TALIESIN: Yeah? TRAVIS: Would you mind telling me, did you feel
anything coming from the captain? TALIESIN: Like what? I don’t really– TRAVIS: Well, I don’t know. You seem to make these
strange comments about how people feel and stuff. I’d have thought maybe you were like a
mind-reader. TALIESIN: I was really just listening for that
word because I wanted to play the speak along game. I wasn’t really paying that much attention,
I’m so sorry. I got a little distracted in there. That was really fun, though. LAURA: Yeah, it was a fun game. SAM: Yeah, it was. TRAVIS: Let’s pay attention next time, shall we?
Cool. SAM: Fjord, if I may. I’m sorry, Captain
Tusktooth, if I may, when we find this Uk’otoa– LAURA and TALIESIN: (whispering) Uk’otoa. SAM: You have this thing inside of you, is your
goal to get rid of the thing inside of you, to commune with it, to bow down and serve this
monster? LAURA: Or are you going to become like a god or
something? LIAM: I feel like we are learning a lot about you
right now, and not from you. Are we alone? [laughter] MATT: It’s funny you ask that question. SAM: I thought we were in our chamber. MATT: No, you’re in your chamber. You’re alone,
but you don’t know how thick these walls are. You know there are people stationed right outside of
your door. LAURA: Can I look around and see if there’s any
peepholes in the walls or anything? MATT: Make an investigation check. TRAVIS: Oh, good call. LAURA: 12. MATT: You take a moment to glance around the space
and feel along the walls. You don’t notice anything that catches your attention. LAURA: Okay. LIAM: I pull out the wire in view of everyone, and
cover my hands and say to Fjord: Is there anything that you maybe want to tell us about that you
haven’t already? TRAVIS: I mean– SAM: Wait! Before you talk out loud, can’t you use
your magic to make some sound or something to muffle what’s happening in here? LAURA: Um, no. SAM: Okay, good. Go on. LAURA: Wait, wait! Caleb, what if you use your
anti-sink bubble? LIAM: Well, I would have to ask the DM. I don’t
know about this. That bubble, I don’t know if it is soundproof at all because I just got that
spell. MATT: Let me check. I do not believe it is. LIAM: I don’t think it is. MATT: But I will check real fast while I’m here. LAURA: I can use Thaumaturgy to make it sound like
there’s ominous whispers all around. SAM: Yeah, that would, that’s good. TALIESIN: Actually, if we both do that, maybe it’s
like going to be white noise. SAM: Yeah, it’ll be like a white noise machine. LAURA: Can we create white noise? MARISHA: Yeah, white noise. SAM: Yasha can fall asleep. MATT: It prevents creatures from entering and
exiting, outside of the ones that you choose, but it does not shift, alter, or stop any sound
passage. LIAM: Yeah, I would– MARISHA: That means everyone heard Beau and Keg
bone, is what you’re saying. [cheering] TRAVIS: Well, if– LIAM: Well, you were upstairs, so only if you’re
screamers. LAURA: Well, some of us actually saw it. MARISHA: It’s a good night. TRAVIS: No shame. MARISHA: No shame. No regrets. LAURA: Can Caduceus and I use our Thaumaturgy to
make ominous whispers all around us so that it’s like white noise so that we can whisper inside? MATT: Sure. LAURA: Yeah, that’s what we do. Constantly. We’ll
trade off so it’s like– TALIESIN and LAURA: (whispering) Krakatoa.
Krakatoa. TALIESIN: All my whispers are just saying that in
different pitches. MATT: Right, okay. I’ll allow it. LAURA: All of mine are just playing the penis
game. TRAVIS: I’ll tell you what I know, and that’s that
I see visions, sometimes, it’s been a long time since. There’s a giant eye, and I hear a voice
speaking to me. I don’t know where it comes from, and I don’t know where I am, if it’s the past or
my future. But I feel like it happened that night when the ship exploded, and before I found myself
on the shore with the sword. I feel like those things are all connected. When I saw the sphere,
it reminded me of that eye. LIAM: You have, I’m speaking very quietly amongst
Jester’s whispers. TRAVIS: I am, too. LAURA: (whispering) Penis, penis, penis. LIAM: You have been having– LAURA: Penis! TALIESIN: Krakotoa, Krakotoa, Krakotoa. LIAM: This is an ongoing dream that you have been
having? TRAVIS: I wouldn’t say ongoing. It’s happened like
three or four times. MATT: Yeah, sure. TRAVIS: Sure, three or four times. Three. LIAM: Three or four times, you have had a dream
with a thing that has a giant eye like the one on your sword, and like the inner motifs of this
woman’s office? TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: You know, there were several eyes in that
ouroboros. TRAVIS: Right. MARISHA: I wonder if that’s how many other chosen
ones there are. LAURA: Oh my god, what if there’s that many other
eyeballs? You can like, swallow them all, and then you become like ultra powerful. TRAVIS: Or I can summon the dragon. [cheering] LAURA: I think you get a wish! TRAVIS: I have been having them, but I wouldn’t
think to comment on them because they’re just fucking dreams. LIAM: Yeah, okay. Were you able to summon a scary
transparent tentacles before that explosion on the boat and those dreams happened? TRAVIS: No. MARISHA: Yeah, that shit ain’t dreams, man. LIAM: Were you vomiting seawater before you had
those dreams? Or making a sword come out of the palm of your hand before that explosion? TRAVIS: Not to my knowledge. LIAM: No judgements here, but is it safe to say
that you have been under-sharing with us? MARISHA: I don’t know, he’s told us all that
before. LIAM: Every single thing? MARISHA: Yeah, I think so. TRAVIS: Did I? No, you’re right, I have
under-shared, and I’m sorry. I just didn’t think it was relevant. LIAM: Seems pretty relevant. TRAVIS: Well yeah, fucking now. MARISHA: Well look, I mean, Jester gets visited by
the Traveler. LAURA: I do. MARISHA: Yasha, has thunder– ASHLEY: Dreams and visions. I do. MARISHA: She has dreams and visions, maybe you
guys are just special or whatever the fuck they tell people. [laughter] TRAVIS: Yeah, Yasha, I mean, do you vomit after
you talk to the thunder? ASHLEY: I only vomit if something upsets my
stomach. So I don’t wake up from dreams or visions vomiting anything. TRAVIS: Me, neither, it happened one time, so. ASHLEY: Okay. TRAVIS: Just the once. MARISHA: Right. TRAVIS: Look, I feel like if we can get on land,
at least, and some sort of landing party, we’ll have a better shot. Nott, you’re terrified of the
water. I mean, we’re on unfriendly ground. I don’t mind trying to slip away or forcing our way out of
this situation, but I sure would like a resolution and at least a better place to stage some sort of
action than on an enemy boat. SAM: What the–? TRAVIS: Ship. Ship, it’s a ship. TALIESIN: How many, how many, how many? TRAVIS and TALISIN: Three masts. TRAVIS: Mizzenmast, mainmast, foremast, I got it,
ha ha ha! [cheering] SAM: But our goal right now is not to run away,
right? LIAM: Yes, this was my next question. I,
personally, was thinking about getting the hell out of here, but. SAM: We’re here for Fjord. LIAM: We are here for you, and you want to
understand what is happening to you. TRAVIS: No, I just want to know where the temple
is. I don’t care if these people die. SAM: No, but thing inside of you– TRAVIS: No, yeah, no that’s what I meant. I know
you want to leave, I do as well, but we need to play this game a little longer, yeah? LIAM: Yeah, I think we are, you know, we’re
friends. I think we’re trying to figure out where we– SAM: Caleb! We’re friends, don’t say it like that.
Don’t say we’re friends, like a question. It’s downward, we’re friends. LIAM: We are friends. SAM: No. TRAVIS: That’s back up. SAM: That was a question, it’s a down. LIAM: But– Addendum: now we are friends with a giant
squid being with a giant eye, so I’m just trying to– TRAVIS: Where’d the squid come from? LIAM: Ouroboros, giant eyes, lots of tentacles. TRAVIS: I heard serpent and leviathan. Is
leviathan a giant squid? MARISHA: Well, no it’s like a serpent. LIAM: I mean we’ve all read stories of sea
creatures. I’m just vibing here, go with me. The point is– SAM: The point is we’re here to support you in
finding out what’s going on inside. LAURA: In your heart. SAM: What’s going on in your past, and if that
means we have to go fight some shit, we’re with you, and if it means you say, “Let’s run,” we’ll
run, but we got your back, big guy. LIAM: That is the point. [cheering] MARISHA: I mean, look. SAM: As long as I don’t have to swim. MARISHA: Avantika seems like she’s had this gift
and these visions for quite some time. Maybe you could learn something about yourself. Talk to her
a little bit. LAURA: (gasping) Does that mean she swallowed one,
too? I mean, like really though, does she have one inside of her? SAM: She might. LAURA: (gasping) If there’s multiple ones. What if
she has more than one, and she’s more powerful than you? (gasping) SAM: How, how do we get to look at her belly?
Should we go swimming, hope she wears a bikini and check for scars? LAURA: What if I, what if I’m walking along and I
fall, and I accidentally go like, on her stomach? SAM: That’s not bad. TRAVIS: I don’t know if you can feel– LAURA: Lift your armor up, Fjord. I’ve been trying
to find out for a long time if I can actually feel a lump. SAM: Lift it up! LAURA: This is important, I need to know. TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m not comfortable doing that. LIAM: I think we are past the point of secrets
here. LAURA: Yeah. LIAM: We need to know what is what. LAURA: Exactly, I need to feel your abs. [cheering] MATT: Make a medicine check. LIAM: Not straight charisma? LAURA: Oh, I’m proficient! 18. MATT: Having a fair understanding of the half-orc
body, while Fjord is generally a little more lithe and trimmer than most more burly half orcs, still
a decent build, but you don’t feel any particular strange lumps. SAM: Maybe lower, go lower. [cheering] SAM: You know, the V. TRAVIS: If you could be succinct, I’m a little
fucking ticklish, okay? MATT: You don’t feel anything, unfortunately. LAURA: I don’t feel any lumps. TRAVIS: (singing) LIAM: The hunt for Fjord’s third ball continues. [laughter] TALIESIN: It’s technically fourth ball at this
point, I think, isn’t it actually? Sorry, that’s the face I wanted. [laughter] TRAVIS: Are we okay to play this out, see how it
goes, at least get on land and see if we can find this temple this crazy bitch talks about? MARISHA: Hell yeah, man. LAURA and SAM: Yeah, let’s do it. MARISHA: Yasha, you look trepidatious. ASHLEY: I feel like we should ask her more
questions. TRAVIS: Of her? ASHLEY: Yeah, like maybe she knows if there are
more spheres and how to find them, if they’re in the temple. TRAVIS: Yeah, I think that’s– SAM: Well she’s coming with us, right? We can ask
her on the way. ASHLEY: Yeah. SAM: Maybe, Yasha, you can intimidate her with
your girth and darkness. TALIESIN: No, that’s– LAURA: And piercing eyes. TALIESIN: This is not an intimidatable person. I
mean, you can just look– MARISHA: I disagree. TALIESIN: I think, from what little I gleaned, I
imagine vanity is the way to play this one. TRAVIS: Vanity, you say? TALIESIN: Yeah. I mean, some people just want to
talk, and I think she just wants somebody to talk to. That’s the vibe I get. [cheering] MARISHA: Yeah, we did say we were going to get
better at that. SAM: Or, we can murder everyone on the boat! [laughter] SAM: Ah! TRAVIS: We’re trying to do less of that. SAM: Okay. LIAM: Yeah, this is too simplistic, it could be
both. SAM: Okay. ASHLEY: Yeah. LIAM: For now, we are allies. SAM: All right. LIAM: For now, we work together to figure out his
problem. SAM: Mm-hmm. LIAM: If we have to eventually (throat croaking). TRAVS: Me? SAM: No, not you! TRAVIS: Oh. SAM: I mean yes, if you turn evil and bond with
Rikatoa. LAURA: (whispering) Krakatoa. MARISHA: Chick ah, chick ah. SAM: Is it night time now? Are we going to sleep? MATT: It’s like late afternoon. It isn’t quite
dusk yet, but whenever you want to. Essentially, you’re ready and prepared for an evening’s rest,
we’ll go do that. SAM: Okay. TRAVIS: Do it. MATT: You go ahead and find yourselves settling in
best you can for the evening’s rest. As– SAM: I’m going to sneak down into the cargo hold. [laughter] MATT: Make a stealth check. SAM: With my cloak on, so that’s an advantage-y
thing? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: With your cloak, yes. SAM: Okay, stealth. 26. [cheering] MATT: I’m not even going to roll. LIAM: Is that a stealth on all of us, too? You
snuck out on us? SAM: I probably told you that I would be right
back. I had to go to the little girls’ room. MATT: All right, for one thing, as soon as you,
because there’s only one exit to the chamber. SAM: Huh? MATT: There’s only one exit to the chamber. The
door that leads out, as soon as you (door creaking) you see the guard is posted right there.
You feel pretty quiet, and you’re pretty, you feel that you’re in the groove where you can get
through pretty quickly without being seen, but you have to get past that one guard that you can see
stationed right outside of the door. SAM: Okay, I’ll use a spell, then. I’ll take a
little bit of– I think it’s a cloth, fleece– as Caleb taught me, and I’ll create a Silent Image
down the hall. Can I peek out the door a little bit? MATT: I’ll say because of your stealth check, yes.
You very carefully nudge the door open enough to get like an inch of viewing space between. That
both reveals the guard and the hallway further down. SAM: I’ll make it look like Cosko is walking by
the hall. Then walks back. MATT: Okay. SAM: Back again. LIAM: Is it a guy in like a Costco T-shirt? SAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: Amazing. MATT: Keeping a tally. TRAVIS: Uh-huh. SAM: Well, we’re in New York, I don’t know if they
have Costco. Sam’s Club. MARISHA: That’s good. MATT: You create the image of him walking back and
forth. The guard notices. (spluttering) Pats another guard that you don’t see on the upper side
of the door. Guard’s like, “Is Cosko back? Go get “the captain.” The other guy goes and walks away,
and the other guy stands there nervously looking back and forth. “Jamedi?” SAM: I’ll have Cosko moonwalk across the hall. MATT: “Jamedi? Jamedi!” He goes and starts walking
in that direction. SAM: Okay, I’ll make my run away, my getaway.
(trilling) MATT: Okay, you get by, you get outside of the
door. Are you running to the right or the left? SAM: Left. MATT: You run to the left. You go running down the
hallway, and you’re now not that far behind the other guard, who was rushing off and heading up a
small set of stairs that leads up to the captain’s quarters. You remember this before. You’re
actually heading away from the cargo hold this way now. You’re heading up. SAM: Oh. I don’t want to do that. MATT: Yeah. SAM: I’ll turn around and go the other way. MATT: Okay, you go the other direction, and the
guy who’s now walked up towards Cosko, towards Jamedi, is now rushing up to it and goes and is
talking to him like, “Sir, hello?” SAM: I’ll have Cosko, is there a stairs or a
ladder near here? MATT: Make a perception check. SAM: Okay, oh, that’s a four. MATT: You’re not sure, you see a couple of chairs,
a card table that’s currently empty. You can see the hallway continues past where this illusion is
happening. SAM: Card table that’s currently empty? Cosko’s
going to sit down at that card table and start dealing two hands. [laughter] TRAVIS: Oh my god. MATT: As he does so, the guy’s like, “Jamedi, the
captain will be right here– What?” Just looks really confused. SAM: Is there a way to slip by? MATT: Your stealth check, yes there is. You dart
past. SAM: Slip by the back, yeah. MATT: Right at that moment you look over your
shoulder, and you can see the captain is now heading down the hallway in your direction. SAM: Okay, I’ll make the effect disappear. MATT: He goes, “What? I don’t?” SAM: Oh, but I’ll leave the effect of the cards
still there. [cheering] MATT: You run to the end of the hallway. You see
those stairs ascending down into the cargo hold below, and you hear over your shoulder, “And where
is he?” “No, but Captain, he was right– Look at “the cards.” SAM: Poof! MATT: You hear the argument, and the guy
desperately trying to explain what he just saw, as you disappear down into the cargo hold below. SAM: I’m going to look around for boxes and
interesting stuff. Bullets, black powder, any books. LIAM: Also, in your ear, very quiet, you hear: Oh
hey, is everything okay? Going well? SAM: Ah yeah, just going number two! It’s going to
be a while. That hardtack is hard coming out, too. MATT: On the way down the stairs, there is another
floor that is the gun deck, that you do pass by and you can see the back end of these large
cannons that are all situated. They’re all angled up a little bit, but there are these doors that
lead outward. There are a number of cannon balls, and some bits of black powder in small barrels,
set up in that region. If you can continue down to the– SAM: Sure, keep going. Looking for interesting
stuff. MATT: You head down to the cargo hold, and you see
one source of lantern light. There is one of the various deckhands is down below, keeping watch.
Has a single oil lantern on a crate. It is this small, handheld jug of some sort of, you assume, a
liquor, and he’s sipping from it. Leaning back and stretching. Just keeping an eye out. SAM: I will use Mage Hand, and he’s just got the
one lantern down there? MATT: Currently, yeah. SAM: I will use Mage Hand to try to snuff out the
flame. MATT: Easy enough to do. (whoosh) Goes dark.
“What?!” SAM: I’ll keep going, using darkvision to look
around and see things. MATT: Okay, so you start making your way around.
As you do, you start seeing sparks. Of a flint. SAM: Oh, he’s trying to light it again. MATT: He’s trying to relight the lantern. He’s
like, “Ooh, fucking shit, stupid little lantern.” Make an investigation check if you wanted to look
into the cargo hold. SAM: All right, investigation, 22. LAURA: Ooh! MATT: How thorough do you want this search to be?
Because it’ll take you a while to go through the entire cargo hold. SAM: Looking for interesting boxes. I don’t want
to spend more than five minutes down here, if possible. MATT: Okay, you’ll probably have to snuff the
lantern one more time, and really frustrate the hell out of him. SAM: Sure. Maybe I can, can I grab it out of his
hand? MATT: The flint? SAM: Or the lantern? MATT: Yeah. SAM: Make him drop it? MATT: Okay, all right. He lights the lantern,
holds it up, and you knock it out of his hand? SAM: Yeah. MATT: Hold on a second, I got to make a roll
here. TRAVIS: We all go down in a blaze of glory. MATT: There’s a lot of gunpowder on this ship. SAM: Well, they shouldn’t be using candles, then! MATT: Yeah, you’re fine. TRAVIS: You fucking fuck. MATT: The lantern hits the ground and tips over,
and a little bit of oil spills out, but it doesn’t like scatter and ignite. He’s like, “Shit!” and he
quickly goes and picks it back up again. While you’re investigating, the first couple crates you
can get to without making any sort of noise that gets his attention, you can tell, you lift up the
top ones. The first one you come to is filled with hardtack. SAM: Ugh. MATT: The second one you come to, a smell gets
your attention immediately, and you lift it up, and it does have a similar smell to that gunpowder
type material that you encountered on that pistol. SAM: Are they in bags, pouches, boxes? Is it just
loose? MATT: You see small kegs that are currently closed
off. SAM: I’ll take a keg. MATT: Okay, it’s about that big. SAM: Yep. MATT: You’re going to pull it out, you got one. SAM: Okay, next box. MATT: Okay, he’s now picked up the lantern again
because you’ve looked through two crates now. SAM: Okay, shit. I’ll use that Mage Hand again.
This time, I’ll unbuckle his belt. MATT: He’s clutching that lantern with a death
grip now, and is now scanning the room, and suddenly his pants (whoosh) to the ground. He’s
like, “Whoa, shit!” and he’s reaching down with the other hand trying to pull it up, and he’s got
like the lantern in one hand, his hand on the outside of the pants in the other. He’s tripping a
bit and bumps into one of the crates. You manage to get to a third crate. You open it up and look
inside, and it looks like it’s a bunch of coiled rope. It’s a lot of repair materials for the ship.
There’s a thick tar-like substance. It’s probably used for some form of repairs. SAM: Okay, well can I get to one more box? MATT: Okay, he gets his pants up. SAM: Okay. MATT: He’s now in the process of walking through
the room. Is there anything else you’re going to do? SAM: Ooh, I have things. I have things! I have
some shards of shiny pottery. I will throw them across the room. MATT: Make a dexterity check. LAURA: Oh my god. SAM: You said dexterity? MATT: Yes. Something you’re good at. SAM: 13. MATT: Okay! It (whoosh) (clattering), the small
shatter. The guy’s like, “Who goes there?” (grunting) He goes walking in that direction. You
get one final crate that you get to. You pull it open. Looking inside, it looks to be– I’m sorry
there isn’t a whole lot more to find, but most of the cargo here is food. You find a lot of an older
set of fruit, maybe various things that were brought from their last destination. The smell
immediately hits you, of like fermenting orange and other types of various sweet, or at least now
sweet, and fermented fruit. SAM: Yeah, I’ll grab some of that, too. MATT: Okay. You quickly fill your pockets. It’s
squishy to the touch. When they put it in there, it (squish) on the inside. You feel it, the cold
wetness of it, spilling against your shirt. You get some pockets filled with fermented fruit. SAM: Okay, so I got an armful of gunpowder. MATT: Yep. SAM: Armful of rotting fruit. MATT: Yeah. SAM: That’s a success. [cheering] MATT: You make your way back? SAM: I’m going to head back, yeah. MATT: Okay, make another stealth check. SAM: Oh boy, with advantage, I hope? MATT: Yep. SAM: Not needed. 29. LAURA: What? [cheering] MATT: That’s money well spent for you guys. Thank
Mr. Pumat Sol for getting you that ability. SAM: That’s right. [cheering] MATT: You make your way back. While this is
happening, you guys can hear the argument outside from the other guards, and the captain lambasting
them for pulling her out of her quarters, for telling ghost stories, and getting her excited
that Jamedi had returned, when he actually hasn’t. Then they go quiet, you hear the footsteps come by
your room, and the door opens. The captain looks inside and goes, “Captain Fjord, care to join
me?” [wolf whistling] TRAVIS: But of course. MATT: “Right this way.” She walks and heads
towards her quarters. LIAM: Caleb’s Alarm spell is going, ding a ling a
ling. MATT: Yep. You follow her? TRAVIS: I do. MATT: As you follow the captain, quickly behind,
Nott, you make your way into the chamber. SAM: (quick footsteps) MATT: Close the door behind you. SAM: (panting) LAURA: Oh, what is that smell? SAM: Oh, I got some old mango and papaya. These, I
think they used to be oranges. I got this. This is a keg of black powder. It goes boom. It’s like a
bomb. ASHLEY: Whoa. SAM: Yeah. We can use it to blow shit up. LAURA: That’s amazing. Are we going to blow up the
ship? SAM: We could. I found out that there’s lots of
black powder downstairs. If we wanted to make a getaway or something, we could go in, set it off,
blow it up. Everyone would die, yeah! [laughter] LIAM: Would you do me a favor, just as a rule,
maybe keep that ten feet away from me, please? SAM: Oh sorry, Caleb, yes. Of course. LIAM: No, it’s useful, just you know, oil and
water. SAM: Okay. MARISHA: You are a walking hazard right now. SAM: I just had the itch. MARISHA: No, look, I’m not shaming you for that.
I’m just saying maybe we should put the black powder in the haversack. SAM: Oh, good idea. LAURA: Oh yeah, give it to me, that’s smart. [laughter] MATT: There you go. While that’s happening, Fjord,
you make your way to the captain’s quarters. MARISHA: Woo! MATT: Walk behind and close the door. And that’s
where we’re going to take a break. TRAVIS: Oh, motherfucker! [cheering] SAM: I think we’re taking a break. LAURA: Okay. (Sam muttering) LAURA: We’ve got to figure out the code word. MATT: We’ll be right back here in a few minutes.
We’re going to take a quick break. Be patient, but yeah, we’ll see you here shortly, guys. [cheering] MATT: No giveaway, yeah. [applause] You got the perfect warlock Her weapons and supplies But you need a place to track your stuff ‘Cause you’re so disorganized You click open the webpage You heard about on Critical Role And now you’re ready to kick some butt In that mineshaft full of gnolls It’s D&D D&D D&D Beyond Yeah D&D D&D D&D Beyond You’ve got your stats You’ve got your swords And you’ve got your invisible wand It’s D&D D&D D&D Beyond AMY: Taliesin, you gave us this mission at
Comic-Con to go to Artist Alley with a stack of two dollar bills. So I did. I got this wonderful
piece of original art of Alexander Hamilton. TALIESIN and MATT: Oh my god. AMY: As I was handing over the money, I looked
down and realized that I was buying him in Jeffersons. TALIESIN and MATT: (laughter) AMY: I purchased this Hamilton with Jeffersons. I
may or not have remembered to put that picture in, but I think I took a side by side, just to mark
the moment. I don’t know who would have been more happy or angry about, but I think Hamilton wins. TALIESIN: I think Hamilton does win on that one. MATT: Oh that’s amazing. (upbeat music) ERIC: Hi, I’m Eric Campbell, and here at Geek &
Sundry, we like to play a lot of RPGs. I’ve been lucky enough to run a few myself, like Doctor Who
on TBD RPG, Star Trek on Shield of Tomorrow, and of course now Callisto 6. We thought it was time
for us to sit down with some of our players and discuss their characters and the choices they made
on a very special one night only covering Callisto 6 and Vampire: The Masquerade: LA By Night. Please
join us for a night of fun insights and emotional backstories, the way only G&S can do it. I got to
be honest, this feels like the laziness thing we’ve ever done, you know, gag wise. Would you
agree with that? CAMERAMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ERIC: Okay. (galactic music) (alarms blaring) YURI: Radar picking up incoming debris field.
Impact in 30 seconds. YASMINE: Copy, I see it on radar. YURI: Get us out of the way, Tommie. 25 seconds to
impact. YASMINE: I’m working on it. YURI: Correct negative 16 by negative 48 by
negative 32. Ten seconds to impact. Too late to close debris shield. Brace for impact, Tommie! YASMINE: What do I do? Max! (computer whistles) YURI: Wow, that was a close one. YASMINE:What just happened? YURI: We’d both be dead if that weren’t a training
exercise. YASMINE: Training exercise? YURI: Yeah. A lot different than your simulators
back home, huh? YASMINE: Mm-hmm. It’s going to be a long flight. YURI: Yep. YASMINE: Mm-hmm. (dramatic music) (explosion) (slide guitar music) (whimsical music) TALIESIN: The exercise we used to do when I was
taking some theory classes was to describe a car. (clanking) (lasers whirring) TALIESIN: If you’re thinking about a car, and you
imagine a car, and you say a car has four doors, four wheels and a windshield. Then you drive it
around. Well, if had two doors, is it still a car? Well, yeah. Well, if I removed all the wheels, I
can’t drive around anymore, and it has no wheels, but is it still a car? Yeah, well if I remove the
windshield, and all the doors are taken off, and there’s no wheels and an engine, is it still a
car? MATT: Yeah? TALIESIN: Well, if it’s just the four wheels, is
it a car? No. (upbeat music) SEAN: Welcome back to season five of
Spellslingers. ALLISON: I don’t know what any of this is. SEAN: Look at me, I’m drooling talking about it. AMY: I’m very serious. SEAN: Your genius pal, Day[9], has figured it
out. KARI: Wow, okay, he must have been friendly to the
gods. SEAN: Ooh! Or maybe ugh! JOE: He’s only making my deck stronger. SEAN: Why did I not pay attention to life? Why? ANNET: Still waiting for Sean. SEAN: I absolve myself of all responsibility. JOEY: Imagine, imagine the privilege. SEAN: It’s good to be back. Welcome back,
everyone. Welcome to Spellslingers. WILL: Hi, I’m Will Friedle, and I apologize I’m a
little bit woozy. See, we finally perfected the technology, and I’ve been shrunk down so I can
paint a mini close up. Join us on Painters Guild, only on Alpha. (elevator music) WILL: Bring paint! Season three of Painters Guild,
only on Alpha. (whimsical music) MATT: I saw Travis Willingham over the weekend. AMY: Did he steal your jacket? (spacey warbling) MATT: He saw it, and he’s like, “Whoa, dude, nice
jacket.” I was like “Thank you, Travis,” and he was like, “Man, where did you get a jacket that,”
because we’re both roughly the same size. He’s just seven times more yoked than I could ever be.
So I let him try on the jacket, and it fit him better than it fit me. TALIESIN: He looked pretty good. MATT: Give me the jacket back. (punching) TALIESIN You earned that jacket. MATT: Give me my jacket back. AMY: It looks perfect on you. TALIESIN: And you get to lord it over everybody. MATT: I do. ALL: Oh! AMY: Ignore that trying-too-hard feeling. MATT: Give me the jacket back. (gentle music) [music] BRIAN: All right, everybody find their seats.
Everybody find their seats, please. Hey. That’s your seat? That looks very comfortable. No, I
don’t want to watch that. (laughs) How you guys doing so far? [cheering] BRIAN: Man, this is fun. There’s trash. Oh no,
these are– Oh, someone wrote a letter, how sweet. Okay, this is for Ashley. I thought Sam just threw
shit off the table and, like, whatever else. Okay, let’s see. Oh no, that’s a subpoena. We’ll just
put that there. All right, guys, I can’t hear what you’re saying. I’m so sorry. Later on tonight,
I’ll think, “What was that, hmm?” Guys, before we bring the cast back out, we have a very special
guest here tonight. This person is no bigger fan of the show or of you, the Critters, none other
than the person who we have to thank for Mr. Sam Riegel, it’s Momlan. [cheering] BRIAN: Look at this. She’s got her dice bag. Oh my
god. LENORE: I’m ready to go here. BRIAN: Say hi to everybody. LENORE: Hi, everybody, I’m so excited to be here. [cheering] BRIAN: Momlan and I have been watching the show
from upstairs, and it’s so much fun. Are you having a good time? LENORE: I’m having the best time of my life. BRIAN: Are you– yes! Are you so happy to see so
many great Critters in your home of New York? LENORE: I love all Critters, and I feel the love. BRIAN: I love it. Okay, why don’t you welcome back
the cast. LENORE: Okay, great, wow, I’m glad to say this.
Welcome back, the cast of Critical Role! BRIAN: Yes! [cheering] BRIAN: Okay, let’s go over here, and we’ll do that
part over here. [cheering] BRIAN: Hmm, hmm, hmm. Okay, before we get started,
Momlan told me backstage that you have a question that you’ve always wanted to ask Matt Mercer since
you’ve been watching the show. LENORE: Yes. I want to ask Matt a question. Matt. MATT: Yes? LENORE: What time is it? [cheering] BRIAN: Let’s go, wait. MATT: Only because it’s you. BRIAN: What’s that? MATT: (as McCree) It’s high noon. BRIAN: Oh man. You’re welcome, New York! You’re
welcome. Take a bow. MATT: That was the Momlan free pass. Enjoy it
while you can. BRIAN: Oh man! I told you– TRAVIS: Oh my god. SAM: Are we back, are we on? MATT: I believe we’re back. SAM: Hey, before we go, can I just say, there was
one special Critter here who got the farthest back seat in the entire theater, someone who is in
balcony, row K, seat 32. If you look next to your seat, I left you a little present. That’s you, way
back in the back corner right there, you. LIAM: He shit under the chair. SAM: Just look to the right of your seat, balcony
row K, seat 32. Okay, good. MATT: Look at this. SAM: It’s the wrong person. It’s that person up
there. They’ll never find it. It’s going to be found in like six years from now. MATT: Look at this theater of beautiful faces.
This is absolutely surreal. [cheering] TRAVIS and MATT: (groaning) AUDIENCE MEMBER: We love you! MATT: You guys are amazing. I love you too! [cheering] But it is not the time for loving. Well… [cheering] MATT: It is the time for Dungeons & Dragons. [cheering] LIAM: Why not both? MATT: Picking up where we left off. Fjord. SAM: They finally found it. MARISHA: You got this. MATT: You walk into the Captain’s chambers. TRAVIS: Yep. MATT: Closing the door behind you, it’s dark lit,
the back door is open to the balcony out there, and you can hear the waves crash against the ship.
There are a few candles lit in the room where they were before. SAM: Bow bow bow! MATT: The captain is standing in the doorway and
looking out over the ocean, and as soon as the door closes behind, turns around and goes, “I
would like to talk with you about how you’ve been “reached out to, how you are touched by–” SAM: Code word. MATT: “This magnificent entity, Uk’otoa. There’s
been a very long time since I’ve met anyone else “chosen, so please, tell me how this happened.” LIAM: Before this goes any further, because I’m
fascinated– MATT: Yeah. LIAM: I would like to attempt to go into Frumpkin,
the one-ounce elf owl, if possible. MATT: Yep. Frumpkin is still up on the deck. LIAM: Yeah, I remember where that room was, so
Frumpkin is taking a little fly around. MARISHA: (owl hooting) SAM: It’s better when somebody’s watching. MATT: Frumpkin goes and perches on the outer
balcony of the Squalleater. TRAVIS: Captain, I admit, I too am very encouraged
to find someone that seems to have gone through the same sort of visions and trials that I have.
You said it’s been a long time since you’ve met another chosen. Are you saying you’ve met
previous? I found myself feeling I was the only one that was experiencing this vision. SAM: (coughing) I thought you were going to say
something else. MATT: She leans her shoulder against the doorway,
looking over at your eyes, distantly reaching for memories, and goes, “There has been one other.
It’s been many years. This came to me through a “series of unexpected–” You see her searching for
the right words and says, “I’ve always considered “myself a very lucky person. At first I thought
this was a terrible portent, when this beautiful “Uk’otoa spoke to me. It was a purpose that nobody
else in Darktow was going on, and with that I “began to gather my crew. It took a while, but each
of them began to believe as well. All of them “support, and when this is done, the blessing is
high. Nay, he is unstoppable behind me as “I am on the sea.” TRAVIS: The blessing, you say? I haven’t heard
speak blessing. I’ve heard words of encouragement. And your crew believes as you do? MATT: “They have now, yes. I’ve read the books,
I’ve looked up about the Ki’Nau. I’ve learned of “the history. As they once were the masters of the
Lucidian Ocean so too will be I. So too can be us.” TRAVIS: I look forward to this very, very much. I
noticed, as we were leaving your quarters, that beautiful iron piece above your doorway. A snake
circling back upon itself, the eye in the middle, but it seemed there were small eyes all around the
body of the snake. MATT: “They say that Uk’otoa is an infinite length
entity, a serpent that entwines the entirety of “the water. That is but eyes across its body to see
what else it must conquer.” TRAVIS: That sounds– MATT: “Beautiful?” TRAVIS: Exactly the word I was searching for.
Speaking of beautiful. SAM: Oh! [cheering] TRAVIS: I was so taken by that marking, that
tattoo you had, I was wondering if you might show it to me again? LIAM: I think they’re about to get naked. MATT: Make a persuasion check. TRAVIS: I’m uncomfortable with what’s happening.
Natural 20. [cheering] MATT: She tugs down the scarf to reveal the tattoo
without breaking eye contact and goes, “I’ll do “you one better.” [cheering] SAM: Zip? MATT: Removes the glove off of her right hand, and
in the palm you see a familiar yellow eye emerging from the center. “This is the blessing. It leaves
the first stage. I have been chosen to be one step “to his unsealing.” TRAVIS: Like, a fucking eye or a tattoo of an
eye? MATT: Make a perception check. TRAVIS: 16. MATT: You hope it’s a tattoo, but the way the
candle light hits it looks smooth and somewhat glassy. TRAVIS: Oh god. Fuck, that’s getting weird. [cheering] TRAVIS:That’s some Pan Labyrinth’s bullshit going
on. (clears throat) My, my. [laughter] TRAVIS: Fuck it, I feel now you and I are more
connected than I could’ve ever imagined. I’ll summon the sword. [cheering] MATT: With a flash and a scattering of ocean water
across the far wall of the chamber, the falchion emerges in your grasp. [applause] MATT: It’s what it’s always done! [cheering] MARISHA: Wait, which sword, what do you mean
“sword”?! LIAM: Caleb can’t hear any of this, but in the
middle of the room he says: It is getting very kinky in that room. MARISHA: Goddamn it. LAURA: Jester’s just pacing back and forth. MATT: She immediately takes a step forward, like
holding her palm forward still. Not even looking at you, just looking at the sword and specifically
focusing on the eye in the center of the hilt. She’s speechless for a moment, you hear her
breathe in suddenly, “Perhaps it was destiny.” TRAVIS: Perhaps it was. Do you know what will
happen, if we–? LAURA: (suggestive clicking) Sorry. I’m sorry, I’m
sorry! [laughter] TRAVIS: Do you know what will happen, if we take
this sphere to the place of its choosing? Have you seen what’s unleashed or have you only heard? MATT: “I’ve only heard. As far as I know, when
these survivors of Zehir, this long sealed god “grew jealous, that they are the ones, who put
Uk’otoa away, below the ocean.” SAM: (whispering) Uk’otoa! MATT: “If I’m correct, and this is one of the
original temples, then I think we can bring him back.” TRAVIS: I admit, I find myself very curious. MATT: “This is but one, there are three I know
of.” TRAVIS: Three temples? MATT: “Three temples across the Swavain islands.” TRAVIS: All of the same construct, all looking for
the same, what do you call it? MATT: “I don’t know if there’s a name for it, I
just call it the sphere. The eye.” TRAVIS: Same. MATT: “I’ll be honest, the dreams, that I have,
it’s mostly just feeling and an occasional word, “like he’s being held back. I feel that if we can,
one by one, release him from these bindings, he “can be more direct with us. Be more direct with
his blessing. He will bequeath the sea unto us.” TRAVIS: My god, the sea. [laughter] TRAVIS: What does the eye say to you? Anything you
remember? MATT: “Tells me to, to watch, to learn.” LAURA: (grunting) TRAVIS: To consume? MATT: “To consume.” [cheering and laughter] MARISHA: Oh my god. SAM: Oh my god, Matt and Travis are going to make
out. [cheering] LIAM: It’s just so much, you guys, it’s just so
much. MARISHA: Details. LAURA: What is happening?! TRAVIS: I confess, having spent so much time on
the water, the command over it seems like too great a gift to receive, but I crave it. [cheering] MATT: She steps around the desk. TRAVIS: Oh, fuck. [cheering] MATT: Just places her fingers on the hilt of the
sword, where the eye is. “Then you’ll need your rest.” TRAVIS: Indeed. MARISHA: M’lady. TRAVIS: We will all. [laughter] TRAVIS: I will put my hand on hers and say: We
will all need our rest for the trials to come. Thank you for sharing your story with me, I don’t
feel quite as alone in this. MATT: “Thank you for your honesty, eventually.” [laughter] TRAVIS: It’s like an onion, you got to peel it,
you know. MATT: “Understood. Anyway,” and she pulls her hand
away, “Go, and may sweet dreams find you.” [cheering] TRAVIS: I turn and I head towards the door and as
I get there, I look back. [applause] TRAVIS: And I walk away! [cheering] MARISHA: That was fucking awesome. [cheering] LAURA: Oh my god. LIAM: I thought they were going to makebumsen,
but it did not happen. LAURA: They didn’t, they didn’t, they didn’t?! MATT: At this point, the door opens and Fjord
returns to the room. MARISHA: We weren’t listening to anything at all,
we know everything. Can you please fill in the details? LAURA: What was going on, what did you guys do?
Huh? SAM: Want a seven-day-old banana? TRAVIS: No, thank you. Where did that even come
from? That’s okay. Not much actually. She is far more under the influence of whatever this is than
I initially thought. She took off her glove and there was an eye in the palm of her hand. And not
another tattoo, I think it was like a fucking eye. Ah! LAURA: Ew! TRAVIS: Yeah, I know. So she showed me hers and I
showed her mine. LAURA: Oh. TRAVIS: Eyes! Our eyes! On the sword. LAURA: Right. SAM: Did you tell her the orb was inside of you? TRAVIS: I did not. LAURA: Well, I’m assuming, if she’s got the
eyeball on her hand, she has an orb inside of her, Fjord? TRAVIS: Fuck. LAURA: Yeah! TRAVIS: I didn’t even think of that. LAURA: I mean it’s got to be, right? TRAVIS: Yep. LIAM: Question. I am still watching her. [cheering] TRAVIS: What the fuck do you mean “still”? [cheering] LIAM: I know it’s confusing; I like to stay inside
this Zemnian accent so much, but I did not say that out loud. That was for the DM. TRAVIS: Oh, shit. MATT: Question, Caleb? LIAM: Yeah, I did not stop watching her after he
left. MATT: Right. LIAM: What is she doing? MATT: Make a perception check. LIAM: Okay. TALIESIN: Roll well. LIAM: Just a ten. MATT: Okay. You watch as she takes her glove and
puts it back on, looking at her palm as she does. Looks out over the ocean and steps out to the
railing, where she has to move away to get out of the visual perspective, and spends a minute or so
looking over the water. Then turns back, goes and closes the door, walks over to underneath the main
doorway, where that shrine is. She pulls a stool up to stand up to about eye level to where the
shrine is. Then she pulls her glove off once more, makes a small cut on her finger, and drops a few
pieces of blood onto the small iron shrine. It’s maybe about that big and then puts the glove back
on, mumbles a few words beneath her breath, though Frumpkin might not able to see from this
perspective. Then goes ahead and snuffs the candles. LIAM: So she did some arcane shit. Did she also
look very hot and bothered? MATT: With that perception roll, I’d say you don’t
know. TRAVIS: Yeah, but you know. MATT: I don’t know, man. Not for me, I’m real bad
at seeing that. MARISHA: So eyeball, hand, you showed her yours. TRAVIS: Yep. MARISHA: Was she, I don’t know, did she say
anything else about– TRAVIS: Yeah, no, you’re right. She actually said
there was one before, that was also chosen. LAURA: What happened to him? SAM: Yeah, when you asked what happened to him,
what did she say? [laughter] TRAVIS: Where was that fucking pigeon? We didn’t
get to that part, but I feel like, because I saw my former captain Vandren with the same sphere,
that he might be the one that she was talking about. LAURA: (gasping) Wait, wait, wait, wait. ALL: Wait. LAURA: What if Vandren had a different sphere?
What if there was like a whole bunch of them? TRAVIS: There’s a chance. She said that this
temple that we’re about to visit was one of three. LAURA: There’s three. What if Vandren and you and
she have them? MARISHA: Yeah and they’re all keys to the temple? LAURA: What if Vandren had one and then she knew
it and she killed Vandren. And now she’s going to kill you and she’s going to try to take your orb? TRAVIS: Jester, I don’t think she killed Vandren.
He was on the ship when it exploded. I don’t even– LAURA: How did the ship explode, Fjord? SAM: She has a ship with cannons. MARISHA: Also, Nott said that there’s like a fuck
ton of gunpowder under the ship, so. TRAVIS: No, I understand. Sabian, my crewmate, he
went down and sabotaged the ship. He set off an explosion. That has to be what happened. LAURA: Who was Sabian working for? Avantika? MARISHA: If she has a sphere and can talk to the
serpent gods, I’m assuming she has some sort of magical powers, like you have magical powers. She
has cool robes and is wearing an amulet; that just screams magic. LIAM: Yeah, well, so after you, you know, made the
flirt talk, that I was watching. MARISHA: The flirt talk? LIAM: Oh, they were both pouring it on pretty
thick. TRAVIS: Well, I think we were being pretty
respectful. LIAM: That’s a subjective thing, my friend.
Anyway, she is very interested in you and after you left her room, I watched a little bit longer
and she did some cutting. She dropped a little bit of her blood on a miniature altar or something. Do
you do this? TRAVIS: I do not. Altar, the little iron piece
above her doorway? LIAM: Yeah, she stood on a stool and she did a
little. TRAVIS: I saw that on the way out. I don’t do
anything like that. I don’t know what that would– ASHLEY: I have a question. She said that there was
somebody that was before her? TRAVIS: She did; she said there was one other
chosen besides herself and now me. ASHLEY: Did you look at her other, did you get a
closer look? TRAVIS: I did, the tattoo. ASHLEY: Did that look familiar? TRAVIS: Have I seen that anywhere else? MATT: To you I would say no, not in the time that
you saw it. TRAVIS: Didn’t Molly have–? [cheering] TRAVIS: Did he have any tattoos that had eyes in
them? Like the peacock feathers? ASHLEY: He had nine of them. TALIESIN: She’d know. SAM: Nine. [laughter] TALIESIN: This one. SAM: Nine eyes? MARISHA: I mean, he also had that all-seeing eye
on his back, right? TRAVIS: What? [laughter] LAURA: I mean you roomed with him, Fjord didn’t
you see him naked? TALIESIN: Yes. [cheering] TRAVIS: Sure. TALIESIN: Don’t be a bad roommate. He was a bad
roommate, don’t be a bad roommate. [laughter] ASHLEY and TRAVIS: Could be nothing. MARISHA: I mean, eyeballs. We all have two.
There’s a lot of eyeballs around. Just saying things have eyes. TRAVIS: Yeah. Right. MARISHA: Just trying to be skeptical. TRAVIS: Yeah, I know. MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: She said we should all get some rest. I
feel like we’ve earned some trust. I feel like we’ll be in good hands. I don’t know if I entirely
trust her, but I do feel like she is motivated to see where this leads. LIAM That’s one way of putting it,ja. TRAVIS: I will say she seems a bit on the
fanatical end. She spoke of acquiring powers that I can’t even begin to comprehend. Control over the
oceans and seas. LAURA: Whoa. TRAVIS: Or other follow– LAURA: What? It sounds cool. SAM: That’s a lot, yeah, that’s a big power. TRAVIS: But doesn’t that sound like too much? TALIESIN: I mean, what would you even do with
that? What’s the point of it, really? SAM: Well, I know what I would do with it. TALIESIN: What would you do with it? SAM: Get rid of the seas. [laughter] SAM: Tell them to go away and go somewhere else,
and have more land. TALIESIN: See, and that just a point of a higher
motivation for something. I mean, there’s got to be a step two. LIAM: She seemed very maniacal, is the word that I
would choose. She seemed very driven. MARISHA: Deuce has a point, there’s got to be a
goal at the end of all those powers, right? SAM: Well, we’ll find out tomorrow, I suppose. TRAVIS: We will and in the meantime, I would
suggest that we acted like we are as interested and motivated to see this through as her
followers. Otherwise, I think we’ll stick out. MARISHA: Did she say anything else about what she
wants? TRAVIS: No. LIAM: I mean, it sounded like she wanted power and
a lot of it. TRAVIS: She does. Unleashing things that are too
terrible to talk about, but you can use your imagination. SAM: Was that a dick joke? [laughter] TRAVIS: Nope. MARISHA: Jessie, are you all right? LAURA: I mean. MARISHA: You’ve just had this like really angry
face in the corner for a little bit. LAURA: Oh, I don’t know what you’re talking about
I’m just sitting there with my sketchbook, drawing Captain Avantika with daggers. Sticking into her
like a voodoo doll. TRAVIS: You’re not drawing like this, you’re
drawing like this? LAURA: Yeah, aggressively. I don’t know what
you’re talking about, I’m happy over here. MARISHA: No, it looks like the third pencil you’ve
broken so I just wanted to– Just curious. Fourth. LIAM: Fjord, if we venture into this sticky
wicket, do you share even in a small way similar desires as this woman? Do you want to control the
sea? TRAVIS: It’s the first time I’ve heard of it. I
mean, it sounds incredible, but I can’t even begin to fathom what that would be like. That
responsibility, I don’t know who I would be if I could wield something like that. LIAM: Well, you are grappling with a great deal of
power, we have watched you do it. Are you trying to understand this thing better, be free of it,
master it? TRAVIS: Understand it would be a start. TALIESIN: You can’t know what to do until you
understand it. I mean, that’s step one and once you understand it, we’ll try and help you make a
reasonable decision about what to do with it. LAURA: What if the closer you get to it, the
weirder you get? What if you start feeling those urges, like she has and stuff. TRAVIS: What urges? LAURA: Like the powerful urges. MARISHA: That’s a good question. TRAVIS: Well, I’ve asked Beau to check me and I’ll
check her on areas of aggression. If I start controlling the oceans and shit, maybe we’ll talk
about it. LAURA: Okay. TRAVIS: Until then, I can only tell you I only
want to know more about this and find out about what happened to my friend. That’s as far as I’m
thinking. SAM: Let’s do that, then. TALIESIN: I’m into it. MARISHA: Let’s get some rest. TRAVIS: Try to sleep. MATT: You guys all get yourselves to sleep. LIAM: Yeah, I place the elf owl back on
Beauregard’s shoulder and go to sleep. MATT: Okay, as you guys all find yourself to rest.
Is your mic not working? SAM: What? ASHLEY: Oh, no, it’s not working. LAURA: No, it’s not. SAM: We’ve lost Ashley. TRAVIS: Share with Tal. MATT: You share with Taliesin. LAURA: Wait. SAM: No, it’s gone. MATT: We’ll share, that’s fine. So as you all go
to sleep, finding yourself into an evening of rest, Fjord– TRAVIS: No, goddamn it! SAM: Should we leave the stage, do we need to
leave the stage? TRAVIS: No! MATT: You don’t need to. That was more helpful
earlier in the campaign, when everything was a super mystery. You spilled all the beans recently,
so it’s fine. You walk in darkness, your eyes trained on a barely visible horizon of faded blue.
The lightless midnight horizon that breaks this endless void. The ground is soft beneath your feet
and your slow gait bounces slightly with each step. Like time is crawling in this buoyant space.
You look down at yourself, obscured by a shadow, until a faint yellow light bursts from your sword.
The light of a yellow eye now open from the hilt like a lantern, lighting a tangled forest of kelp
before you. Bubbles escape the corner of your mouth, but you breath the waters calmly, like a
thick vapor. “Learn.” You search through the mass of shifting slick sea vines eventually coming upon
the base of a staircase going up. “Grow.” What do you do? TRAVIS: I climb those motherfucking stairs. MATT: As you ascend the cold stone stairs, the
beam of the eye lighting the way, your passage is suddenly blocked by something. A statue; humanoid,
but featureless. “Provoke.” TRAVIS: I’ll fire two blasts of Eldritch Blast at
it. MATT: The statue breaks apart, its various shards
emerging from the detonation and slowly sinking in what is now the thick waters around you. As the
head tumbles past the light of the edge of your sword, the face is recognizable in a flash:
Sabian. You push beyond, continuing to ascend the stairs. You come upon another statue, larger and
looming more than the last. What do you do? TRAVIS: Witch Bolt, right to its chest. MATT: As the darkened energy arcs from the hilt of
your blade, hitting it you watch as the cracks spider up the stone before it detonates into
hundreds of shards of dark stone. You see half of the face slowly hit and clatter onto the stone
before falling off to the side. Vandren. Do you continue up? TRAVIS: The stairs, are they staying the same, is
there anything at the foot of the statue after they break apart? MATT: Looking down the statue itself is now
immaterial. You’ve entirely annihilated it and you glance over the side, and what few shards still
remain, slowly drift beyond your view into the dark abyss below. TRAVIS: I’ll move forward. MATT: Continuing to ascend these steps one by one,
they grow more and more narrow. You think you see an approaching surface of some kind. You’re clear
of the water, suddenly breaking the surface and you’re standing in a dark stone chamber. You’ve
managed to get all the way up standing within the ankle high water in the middle of the stone
chamber and you watch, as all the liquid begins to drain. Until there’s no more water around you.
Revealing in the center of this chamber, an intricate circle in the ground, maybe two feet
across. Beautiful ancient craftsmanship, detailed to depict a serpent body coiled. Carved eyes
emerging from the creature’s body every few inches. The center of the water is a circle of
water, like a well. “Watching.” What do you do? TRAVIS: I’ll summon the sword and hold the eye
facing the circle. MATT: As you hold the blade up, you see the light
hits the water and is absorbed by it. You don’t see anything beneath it. It seems to be just a
void that eats the light. TRAVIS: Void that eats the light. Can I walk into
the center of the circle? MATT: You step into it? TRAVIS: Well, I definitely do now. MATT: Well, is that what you want to do? TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: Okay, you step into the circle, it’s only a
few inches deep of water and your feet feel the bottom. It is shallow. You’re now standing above
it, it’s only about two feet across, so it’s basically you standing over the small pool. TRAVIS: Is there a ceiling, are there walls, are
there statues in this space? MATT: Looking around you, you can see stone walls
and you could see a ceiling above you. It is almost plain featureless room, aside from the very
edges of stone stacked upon itself. TRAVIS: Watching. Can I look into the eye of the
sword, do I see anything? MATT: You look towards the hilt and the eye stares
back at you. The light temporarily blinding you for a moment, as you adjust. TRAVIS: What the fuck? Can I try and take the edge
of the blade and press it into the floor? MATT: You press the blade in through the water and
it hits the stone. TRAVIS: Jesus. (English accent) I don’t know what
you want from me! MATT: No response. Then you hear once more,
“Watch.” TRAVIS: I’ve stared at the eye. Fuck. I have no
idea. MATT: Make a perception check. TRAVIS: Ooh, 19. MATT: The handle of the sword is somewhat slick in
your grasp from the water you’ve been traveling from before and you feel the blade almost trying
to turn in your grasp, turning the eye away from you. TRAVIS: I’ll let it go where it’s leading and
point it towards the floor. MATT: It slowly finds its way resting facing down
towards the pool. TRAVIS: Okay. LAURA: Put your face in it. TRAVIS: Sure. Can I put my face in the water? [cheering] SAM: (pigeon cooing) MATT: You place your face down into the water, and
as opposed to the stone surface you’ve seen there, it is this vacuous black void. There, you see in a
sudden instant, the eye opens up before you, the bright yellow light enveloping you. Suddenly,
there’s searing heat and you pull back out of the pool and the entire chamber is filled with blazing
hot steam. It hurts at first, but then, it begins to feel nice. This burning sensation crawling
across your body, going instead from pain to a surge of strength. Of control, of purpose. The
voice again says, “Reward.” As you look up around you the stone falls away and on the distance you
can see that horizon once more. Now an endless ocean. You can see the faint ripples of waves
across a sourceless bit of moonlight. There you see dozens of ships coming towards you. What do
you do? TRAVIS: Can I look behind myself real fast? MATT: You turn behind you and it is just darkness.
Inky, infinite. TRAVIS: A shit load of ships coming towards me.
Cool. Are there any pigeons in this dream? (laughter) MATT: Make a perception check. TRAVIS: 16! MATT: No. TRAVIS: Can I reach my hand out and try and
control the ships? MATT: As you concentrate, looking towards the
right of you, where it looks like four or five vessels are in a localized portion of this black,
endless ocean. As you concentrate you see the water begin to boil beneath them. TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re going to go ahead and grab
whatever the fuck that is and pull it up. MATT: You watch as the ocean fires up like a
spire, a pillar of solid ocean water. The ships are scattered in different directions, as it slams
them down once more, scattering them into thousands of pieces of splintered wood. TRAVIS: Can I take both hands and do acoup de
grace
, two big (crashing) over the top? MATT: The center of the ocean parts, giving this
slight vacuum. This dual-sided, abyssal crevice in the center of the ocean. On the opposite ends of
where your hands rise, you watch the waves rise up and in one fell sweep, two solid crystalline walls
of water slam together and then even out. As the ripples subside, all you can see are the thousands
and thousands of glittering shards of what once were that armada. MARISHA: Moses shit. TRAVIS: Don’t wake up, don’t wake up. MATT: “Reward.” And you wake up. [applause] SAM: Wow, another dream with seamen scattered
everywhere. [laughter] MATT: It’s somehow worse with that outfit. TRAVIS: (laughing) Yes! SAM: That’s my people. MATT: As the rest of you come to consciousness in
the morning, Fjord seems to be sleeping in a little bit before suddenly shooting up with a
gasp. LAURA: Did you have a dream? TRAVIS: (English accent) What? (regular voice) No,
no, I didn’t. MARISHA: You’re drenched in sweat. Just throwing
that out there. TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: Real soggy. TRAVIS: Yeah, no, we were fighting crazy beasts
and monsters and all this talk of serpents, I feel– LAURA: Fjord! Are you lying? MATT: Make an insight check. Make a deception
check. LIAM: Also, why did you talk so funny for a
moment? LAURA: Ah, come on! TRAVIS: 16. LAURA: I rolled a fucking one! MATT: I mean, he seems perturbed by something, but
you don’t disbelieve him. Caduceus, however. [cheering] TALIESIN: I just woke up, I don’t actually know
what’s going on right now. MATT: Fair enough. Oh, but looking at passive
insight for Beauregard and Caleb. LIAM: You sounded like you had a different accent
for a moment there, Fjord. MARISHA: I’m not going to say anything. TRAVIS: I don’t know. I’m so used to copying
people, I get all sorts of stuff mixed up in my head. MARISHA: Let’s go. TALIESIN: Did I miss something, I don’t–? ASHLEY: You sure you don’t want to talk about it? TRAVIS: Talk about the dream? ASHLEY: Yeah. TRAVIS: I mean, it’s just a dream. What’s there to
talk about? SAM: Nobody likes to hear other people’s dreams.
It’s really boring. TRAVIS: First thing in the morning, you’re like, (sarcasm)
“Oh, I know, it was amazing. Tell me more. ” SAM: Yeah, that’s true. [laughter] TRAVIS: I mean, wait, you guys didn’t have any
dreams of a similar nature, did you? MARISHA: No, we didn’t. TALIESIN: What kind of dreams of a similar
nature? LAURA: I had this dream that I was walking in this
field and then there was this banana tree right in front of me and I climbed it and I got some
bananas and then they turned bad really fast. SAM: Ooh! LAURA: Yeah, so I think it had something to do
with that. SAM: Yeah. LAURA: Then the grass was purple, and then this
guy came up to me and he was like, “Whoa, I just “heard–” but then his face turned into an eagle
and he flew away. What do you think it means? SAM: You should write those down, they’re really
important. LAURA: Okay. MARISHA: Look, as someone who still doesn’t have
any type of dreams, whatever’s going on, it’s not normal, I just want to point that out. SAM: She just wants you to know that you’re not
normal. Should we go off to our adventure now? MATT: You guys head your way up to the deck. LIAM: Except that I pull Beau back while everyone
proceeds upstairs. MATT: All right. [laughter] LIAM: Speaking as a massive liar, I think he is
lying to us a little bit. MARISHA: Look, we can know, just like I know about
your shit, we can know about Fjord’s shit, and we can just keep that on the down low, right? I’m
interested in knowing about people’s shit, not exposing it. LIAM: Sure. One eye open. MARISHA: One eye open. LIAM: I don’t think he knows what he wants yet. MARISHA: Oh, and you think you do? You the
authority on knowing what other people want? LIAM: No, I’m the authority on knowing what I
want, Beauregard. MARISHA: Yeah. Me neither. [laughter] LIAM: He spoke with a different accent for a split
second. MARISHA: We’ve heard Fjord speak with a lot of
different accents. LIAM: Yeah, to a purpose, not when he is waking up
instantly. MARISHA: He clearly had some sort of fucking
dream. We know that. LIAM: Okay. MARISHA: He’ll tell us when he wants to tell us,
all right? LIAM: I walk upstairs. MATT: Okay, you guys have made it to the deck.
It’s early morning. The sun’s only really been up maybe an hour or so. There’s still a mist across
the ocean and you can see the distance where the reefs encapsulate the surrounding area of this
island. The mist is so heavy that you cannot see beyond other than a few other signs that you
recall when you first passed through that reef. Looking off the way of the shore, you can see that
The Mistake is currently grounded and looks like there’s a small crew trying to do repairs. You’re
not quite sure to what extent and how long it’ll take, but the ship seems to be at least the time
being out of commission. TALIESIN: Hopefully we can fix our Mistake at some
point. That’d be nice. Thank you, sorry, carry on. MATT: You can see Vera, Captain Avantika and a few
of the crew members are currently in a conversation with a man that you hadn’t seen
before. You see a gentleman completely bald head, very dark brown skin. A heavy leather coat with
like a few belts or bandoliers attached to it. He has a satchel on the side and a few blades that
are sheathed and hanging. He looks like an individual who’s ready to travel. In case anything
happens, he’s prepared. Maybe a little cleaner than Caleb, but definitely a little ramshackle in
appearance. They’re in the middle of a conversation and as soon as you approach the deck,
the Captain notices your presence and goes, “Good “morning! Come, it seems that our destined journey
is just around the corner. Please, The Mighty “Nein, may I introduce you to a good friend who is
hoping to be arrived soon, Jamedi. Jamedi, this is “The Mighty Nein.” He turns to you all and goes, “It
is a pleasure to meet you all. The Captain has “told me that we are to be traveling to the island
together, yes?” LAURA:Oui.TALIESIN: We. TRAVIS: That is correct. It is a pleasure to meet
you as well. MATT: “I will tell you it is very dangerous. Bring
what you think is necessary. The island itself is “indeed cursed for the creatures that call it
home.” MARISHA: Well, if you’ve explored it, why don’t
you tell us what’s necessary to bring? MATT: “I was about to give you that before you so
rudely interrupted me first thing in the morning.” MARISHA: Okay, well, then go on. What? MATT: He gives like a look to the Captain, the
Captain’s like. “There are a number of lizard folk “that patrol the outskirts of the island calling it
home, hunting. I could not quite suss out the “source of where their society is, but they seem to
live on the exterior of the island. Further in, I “did find the temple, but it is not abandoned.
There are villages of snake men that surround this “stone shrine. Their mutations are various and
strange. I managed to avoid being seen and I made “it to the initial interior chambers of this
village, of this stone obelisk of a temple, but I “surmised it would be best if I went further with
aid of those who were capable of defending “themselves. So I came back. I do have a path that
I think is of, how you say, least resistance, so I “would say bring what is important to perhaps deal
with lizards and snakes.” LAURA: These lizard and snake people. MATT: “Yes?” LAURA: Did they seem nice? MATT: “No.” LAURA: Did you see any snake and lizard women and
children? MATT: “There were various of both sexes and perhaps
between. I do not know the full idea of these “creatures’ physiology.” LAURA: All right. SAM: That’s all you wanted to know, just– LAURA: I just wanted to know if they had happy
families, that’s all, you know. TALIESIN: Did they have feet or–? MATT: “I did not look too closely into the–” LAURA: But what do they do for fun? SAM: Jester, we’re probably going to kill all of
these people. Maybe we don’t care what they do. MATT: “I would not suggest trying to kill them
all. Trying to avoid them, expediency, using the “shadows, and travel without being found I think is
our best bet at survival.” TRAVIS: I would agree. I think they’re quite
territorial. We would do best to remain unseen. LAURA: Have you run into these people before,
Fjord? TRAVIS: No, I haven’t, I’m– MARISHA: Hmm! LAURA: Have you had dreams about them or
something? TRAVIS: No, what was your comment? MARISHA: Is this not ringing a bell for any of
y’all’s? Snake people, temples, the naga. We already fought them. Done this once before. Think
that’s where we got the little sphere thing that went in Fjord’s thing, had a little circle with
like a pool in it and you could see shit? TRAVIS: They were like fish people, not like snake
people. TALIESIN: I don’t remember any of this. LAURA: Yeah they were like– (laughter) MARISHA: All right, but hear me out. Because we
fought those people in the swamp, they were the merrow people, right? Maybe they’re still
worshiping the same type of serpentine deity. TRAVIS: I see where you’re going. MARISHA: A lot of different people takes a lot of
different types. LAURA: What if we were already in one of the
temples that we’re looking for? You said there were three, right? MARISHA: That’s what I just said. LAURA: What if that was a temple, right? MARISHA: Yeah! LAURA: That’s what you were going for. MARISHA: That’s what I was totally going for. LAURA: I understand. MARISHA: Thank you. TALIESIN: I thought it was like metaphorical that
we were still in the temple and just having some elaborate, like a dream of life and we’ve all been
in this temple all along and, I mean, that would have been really cool, although really convoluted
the more I’m thinking about it. Doesn’t make any sense. SAM: Before we go stealthing in, Fjord, do you
want to look at the dodecahedron or anything? Would that be good? TRAVIS: Me? SAM: Yeah, you, you’re the– MATT: The Captain goes, “What is a dodecahedron?” TRAVIS: It is a sigil of our group that is
sometimes viewed just to focus one’s energy. SAM: Like a pep talk. TRAVIS: But I don’t think I need it. I’m very
focused on the fucking job at hand and perhaps someone needs help with like stealth, you know? SAM: Not me. TRAVIS: Oh, plus zero. All right, I’ll look at
it. [applause] TRAVIS: Should have looked at that first. MATT: The Captain claps her hands twice again, to
get everyone’s attention. “Vera, look after the “ship. Look after our men, their men. Jamedi, lead
the way. I am excited to see what we uncover “together, huh?” TRAVIS: Indeed. MATT: “I hope you slept well. Come. To the boats.”
The rope ladders are let over once more. You all descend into these row boats. Between the two of
them, most of you can get onto it, a little awkwardly, but enough to at least make your way
the few hundred feet to the shore. You eventually come upon the beautiful, white beaches of Urukaxl.
You see the occasional shard of driftwood or a glimmer of a smooth abalone shell scattered
amongst the sandy beach. The jungle line begins about 40 feet before you and immediately grows
dense and tangled with vines, root and various jungle, tropical trees that choke the sky above.
Jamedi turns to the rest of you and goes, “Now you “must be quiet. Move quickly, as the island has
many denizens that would find us exotic meats. Are “we ready?” SAM:Oui.MATT: “Then come.” He begins to lead the way in
and Captain Avantika looks to us. “This will be “fun, yeah?” TRAVIS: Should be. MATT: As you all slowly begin to duck in towards
the tree line of the jungle, we’ll pick up there next week. [cheering and applause] MATT: That was fun. TALIESIN: Some Treasure Island shit. [applause] LAURA: Oh man, oh man! TRAVIS: Take a bow? MATT: Thank you guys all so much for coming and
being a part of this fantastic live show. Our first time doing a live show here in New York
City. [cheering] MATT: Thank you to all our fantastic Critters at
home that are watching this live or on VOD– We love you too! This is perpetually such an
incredible experience that continues to build on itself and the fact that we get to do it together
is so amazing. A huge thank you to D&D Beyond for being our wonderful sponsor this week. Thank you
to Momlan for being an amazing appearance. Thank you to my wonderful players for dealing with my
crazy bullshit. Thank you all for just being you and making this so special for all of us. This is
incredible. SAM: We love you guys! MATT: Everyone have a wonderful night. We love you
and is it Thursday yet? Good night. [cheering] MATT: Step around. We’re doing this. Thank you,
guys. This is so fucking surreal! Oh is it still on? My mic’s still on, oops. [music]

100 thoughts on “Dangerous Liaisons | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 37

  1. Nott and caleb at the beginning: 'We're only in it for us. We'll stick around for the time being if this keeps being worthwhile, but if we need to we'll cut and run. Our goals are all that matter.'
    Nott (and caleb) now: "The point is we're here to support you" … "and if that means we have to go fight some shit, we're with you, and if it means you say "Let's run," we'll run, but we got your back big guy."

  2. This group can continue to add to their collective CVs from now til their departure of this pale, but I think they’ll always be best known for this, their longest job ever.

  3. 3:17:35 I can just hear Jeremy Scott’s voice in that CinemaSins’ tone saying “I don’t know, Beau. Maybe if you let him finish, he’d tell ya.”

  4. Gosh, the audio makes this almost unwatchable. I don't blame anyone in critical role or even the production team, technical difficulties happen. It is just so noticeable that I felt like I had to point it out.

  5. Caleb was pretty persistent about Fjords accent, but he only used his other accent during the dream sequence?

  6. It's so heartwarming to see just how surprised Matt is by how much we love him, every time. Like pretty much everyone else is playing to the crowd, having the time of their lives, and then there he is all sheepish, walking onto stage to a packed hall standing in ovation, and this cute man's cute face has the audacity to be like "Oh gee willikers, that's unexpected! Me oh my, how delightful! For me? Shucks, you really shouldn't have!" as if he had genuinely no idea that each and every person in that room would strangle anyone who as much as looks at him wrong.

  7. They should do a fan contest and the winner gets to play a session with them
    Edit: I really want to play a session with them.

  8. Is a shame that the audio is a little bit bad picked, the cuts when there is no sound cuts the music too and make the sound very weird.

  9. These subtitles are a life saver. Thank you whoever put in the work. With the audio corrupted as it is it would be impossible to watch otherwise.

  10. Poor Travis, just selected a background that sounded cool, unknowing that he would be quizzed on his real life knowledge of Sailing. On the plus side, cool retirement activity.

  11. by flando maltrizian
    1:30 BWF ground rules
    4:25 Now to introduce the cast
    5:20 Surprise guest
    9:25 Everyone look under your seats
    11:00 Comic book sneak peak
    13:25 Samilton
    17:25 Episode Starts
    20:35 Parfait
    21:20 Creative use of Frumpkin
    23:40 Menacing Jester
    25:20 Travis brought a boat textbook
    30:10 Battle hardened sailors
    35:20 High rats
    37:15 Travis is the captain now
    40:00 Our first French accent
    41:25 Crew introductions
    44:05 Gilligan
    46:05 Quite large
    52:20 Caduceus has burial needs
    56:05 Caleb dies
    58:00 Retroactively eavesdropping
    1:01:35 How many ships do we need?
    1:02:30 Out-of-game artifacts
    1:04:25 Candle keep
    1:08:35 Sudden sexual tension
    1:10:15 Improvisational cartography
    1:12:45 All names MUST be mocked
    1:14:00 Caleb has some accent trouble
    1:15:35 Background for Fjord’s stjory
    1:17:55 Wall cheese
    1:19:10 How do whispers work?
    1:21:30 We all know that was coming sooner or later
    1:23:45 Coming entirely clean
    1:25:25 Hey, it’s art
    1:26:30 The tradition continues
    1:29:15 Laura is Laura
    1:33:45 You want to check that earlier
    1:35:45 Beauning
    1:38:05 Too bad he wasn’t on that show… LAURA
    1:40:45 Travis knows terms
    1:44:00 Jester checks for lumps
    1:50:25 At some point, thy should really get the sponsorship
    1:53:00 Sam gets spooky
    2:03:25 Break Starts
    2:10:35 Art Montage
    2:25:40 Momlan
    2:27:05 She certainly is Sam’s mom
    2:29:40 Break Ends
    2:34:30 Fjord fljirting
    2:36:40 Some Del Toro aesthetic
    2:38:20 Laura breaks the tension
    2:41:15 Only in fanfic
    2:43:10 Fjord channels Osker
    2:51:00 Molly’s tattoos
    2:53:05 Nott’s master plan
    2:57:35 Fjord’s dream
    3:07:20 Dream pigeons
    3:09:30 Loose Seamen
    3:12:00 Other people’s dreams
    3:13:45 Beau vs. Caleb
    3:15:35 Fix our Mistake
    3:21:05 Caduceus has read too many Reddit fan theories
    3:24:05 Episode Ends

  12. aw i wish they turned off the background music for Ilya S's animated intro during the art break. having the 2 songs overlap was less good than hearing only the intended music for the animated sequence

  13. It really sucks that they leave the most interesting plot points for the live shows. I love CR, but the live shows are just… not it. I get, they don't make it serious and joke around when there's the audience right before them and so they go out of character a lot, but that's something for a oneshot or a less serious session theme. Fjord's backstory is one of the most interesting mysteries from the beginning of the story and the live shows is just injustice to it.

  14. The Mighty Nein have this habit of approaching every situation in the worst most convoluted way possible, but if they hadn't they probably wouldn't be on as cool of an adventure so maybe they're just playing the long game?

  15. idk who decided to put such a high threshold on the gate for the microphones, but they obviously didn't care enough to listen to the mix during the performance.. I'm only 30 minutes in and i'm about ready to just skip this episode and watch the recap.

  16. Marisha – Pirate captain at the Kentucky Derby
    Ashley & Tal – Captain Hook's crew from a children's production of Peter Pan
    Laura – knicked some garb from the cute boy dressed as a pirate at the Halloween party to flirt
    Travis – Admiral

    Sam – The Hamilton poster
    Matthew – Town Crier
    BWF – Pirate post-pirate ban, now accountant
    Liam – regular Caleb

  17. by flando maltrizian

    1:30 BWF ground rules

    4:25 Now to introduce the cast

    5:20 Surprise guest

    9:25 Everyone look under your seats

    11:00 Comic book sneak peak

    13:25 Samilton

    17:25 Episode Starts

    20:35 Parfait

    21:20 Creative use of Frumpkin

    23:40 Menacing Jester

    25:20 Travis brought a boat textbook

    30:10 Battle hardened sailors

    35:20 High rats

    37:15 Travis is the captain now

    40:00 Our first French accent

    41:25 Crew introductions

    44:05 Gilligan

    46:05 Quite large

    52:20 Caduceus has burial needs

    56:05 Caleb dies

    58:00 Retroactively eavesdropping

    1:01:35 How many ships do we need?

    1:02:30 Out-of-game artifacts

    1:04:25 Candle keep

    1:08:35 Sudden sexual tension

    1:10:15 Improvisational cartography

    1:12:45 All names MUST be mocked

    1:14:00 Caleb has some accent trouble

    1:15:35 Background for Fjord’s stjory

    1:17:55 Wall cheese

    1:19:10 How do whispers work?

    1:21:30 We all know that was coming sooner or later

    1:23:45 Coming entirely clean

    1:25:25 Hey, it’s art

    1:26:30 The tradition continues

    1:29:15 Laura is Laura

    1:33:45 You want to check that earlier

    1:35:45 Beauning

    1:38:05 Too bad he wasn’t on that show… LAURA

    1:40:45 Travis knows terms

    1:44:00 Jester checks for lumps

    1:50:25 At some point, thy should really get the sponsorship

    1:53:00 Sam gets spooky

    2:03:25 Break Starts

    2:10:35 Art Montage

    2:25:40 Momlan

    2:27:05 She certainly is Sam’s mom

    2:29:40 Break Ends

    2:34:30 Fjord fljirting

    2:36:40 Some Del Toro aesthetic

    2:38:20 Laura breaks the tension

    2:41:15 Only in fanfic

    2:43:10 Fjord channels Osker

    2:51:00 Molly’s tattoos

    2:53:05 Nott’s master plan

    2:57:35 Fjord’s dream

    3:07:20 Dream pigeons

    3:09:30 Loose Seamen

    3:12:00 Other people’s dreams

    3:13:45 Beau vs. Caleb

    3:15:35 Fix our Mistake

    3:21:05 Caduceus has read too many Reddit fan theories

    3:24:05 Episode Ends

  18. to anyone watching this video try putting a video game soundtrack on in the background turned down it helps smooth out the audio drops

  19. by flando maltrizian

    1:30 BWF ground rules

    4:25 Now to introduce the cast

    5:20 Surprise guest

    9:25 Everyone look under your seats

    11:00 Comic book sneak peak

    13:25 Samilton

    17:25 Episode Starts

    20:35 Parfait

    21:20 Creative use of Frumpkin

    23:40 Menacing Jester

    25:20 Travis brought a boat textbook

    30:10 Battle hardened sailors

    35:20 High rats

    37:15 Travis is the captain now

    40:00 Our first French accent

    41:25 Crew introductions

    44:05 Gilligan

    46:05 Quite large

    52:20 Caduceus has burial needs

    56:05 Caleb dies

    58:00 Retroactively eavesdropping

    1:01:35 How many ships do we need?

    1:02:30 Out-of-game artifacts

    1:04:25 Candle keep

    1:08:35 Sudden sexual tension

    1:10:15 Improvisational cartography

    1:12:45 All names MUST be mocked

    1:14:00 Caleb has some accent trouble

    1:15:35 Background for Fjord’s stjory

    1:17:55 Wall cheese

    1:19:10 How do whispers work?

    1:21:30 We all know that was coming sooner or later

    1:23:45 Coming entirely clean

    1:25:25 Hey, it’s art

    1:26:30 The tradition continues

    1:29:15 Laura is Laura

    1:33:45 You want to check that earlier

    1:35:45 Beauning

    1:38:05 Too bad he wasn’t on that show… LAURA

    1:40:45 Travis knows terms

    1:44:00 Jester checks for lumps

    1:50:25 At some point, thy should really get the sponsorship

    1:53:00 Sam gets spooky

    2:03:25 Break Starts

    2:10:35 Art Montage

    2:25:40 Momlan

    2:27:05 She certainly is Sam’s mom

    2:29:40 Break Ends

    2:34:30 Fjord fljirting

    2:36:40 Some Del Toro aesthetic

    2:38:20 Laura breaks the tension

    2:41:15 Only in fanfic

    2:43:10 Fjord channels Osker

    2:51:00 Molly’s tattoos

    2:53:05 Nott’s master plan

    2:57:35 Fjord’s dream

    3:07:20 Dream pigeons

    3:09:30 Loose Seamen

    3:12:00 Other people’s dreams

    3:13:45 Beau vs. Caleb

    3:15:35 Fix our Mistake

    3:21:05 Caduceus has read too many Reddit fan theories

    3:24:05 Episode Ends

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