Concrete Jungle: The Series – Pilot


(upbeat music) – And now, we move
on to coverage of
this year’s election. The presidential race is
heating up as candidates squared off in their first
political debate last night. – And during these
tough economic times, you need a candidate that
knows what’s best for America. My opponent doesn’t even seem
to know we’re having a debate. He’s not even at his podium. He’s over there. Digging through the garbage. (trash rustling) (hissing) (laughs) – It seems like those
animal candidates are always in trouble, Tom. (laughs) – Why don’t you shut
the (beep) up, Darlene. The New York Giants’
defensive end shocked the sports world today by becoming the first openly
gay professional athlete. Let’s go to reporter
Jennifer Collins for his first interview
since the announcement. – Thanks, Tom. Michael, this must have been
a tremendous burden to carry. Was it difficult to keep your
secret from your teammates? – Oh, absolutely not, baby. Because as you can tell,
it’s really not that obvious. I just felt like
this was something I needed to do for myself. – Do you feel that this
announcement will have any effect on the
way you’re perceived as a professional
football player? – I’m sorry, Jenny,
can I hold this? (microphone feedback) Ooh, this is nice. Oh, this doesn’t
change a thing, Jenny. I’m still the most dangerous
defensive end in the league. We got a big game on Sunday
against the Patriots. I’m gonna get so many sacks. So many big sacks. Tom Brady, you
better watch yo’ ass, baby, ’cause I’m coming for it. (fast paced music) – We’ll be back with
more news, at 11:00. (upbeat music) ♪ Look what the cat dragged in ♪ It’s a dog eat dog world
for man’s best friend ♪ In a fast paced rat
race that has no end ♪ You’re in last place so
much you might in fact go rent ♪ Man, it’s a
jungle in this town ♪ This could explain why
there’s so much monkeyin’ around ♪ Everyone’s a lion to
their subject in the crowd ♪ Then it’s out like a lamb
like a subway lookin’ down ♪ So what now, hoss? ♪ It’s lookin’ like
you got deep trouble ♪ Well, I guess
you’ve been outfoxed ♪ So welcome to
the Concrete Jungle (people talking in background) – Oh, dude, I gotta tell you about this human
girl I met today. I picked her up using this face. (whimpering) – What? That doesn’t work. – Nah, dude, it does. I can make humans do whatever
I want with that face. – You’re so full of shit, Frank. (Band-Aid ripping off) – Eat this dirty Band-Aid I
found stuck under the bar. – I’m not eatin’ a Band-Aid. – (speaking in a high
voice) Please, dude? – Yeah, okay. (ripping sound) (slapping bar) (chuckling) – You’re so gross, man. – God damn it. Don’t use that on me, Frank. (chuckling) – You humans are so weak-minded. (slurping drink) (toy squeaking) (chomping toy) (growling) – Drop it. (growling) – Drop it. (growling and chomping toy) (slurping drink) – So, I’m glad I
met this girl today. The coworkers at the office are really starting
to get to me. – And so I was like, Michelle, oh, my, God. If you wanna come
to my sweet 16, you better not give me
attitude like that again. Yeah? – Yeah.
– Totally. (loud, sustained music note) (drool dripping) (loud, sustained music note) (drool dripping) (drool dripping into glass) (smack) – Stop calling it
the office, Frank. You’re a janitor
at the high school you barely graduated from, and
they’re not your coworkers, they’re 17-year-old girls. – 16. – Really, Frank? – Look, dude, all I’m saying is I just really want
this date to go well. The last couple of
dates I’ve been on, anything that could
have gone wrong, did. Textbook Megan’s Law situation. Or, Murphy’s Law, I forget. – No, you were right
the first time. – Whatever. So, she’s one of these
super-artsy chicks. She’s dragging me to this
gallery opening in Chelsea. It’s gonna suck. – You know, a little culture
might be good for you, Frank. – Dude, I’m cultured as fuck. Ha, oh man, I love
these commercials. – What’s better:
faster or slower? – [Both) Faster. – Okay, why? – Oh, because, because
when you’re faster, then then the bad
guys are chasing you, you can, um, you can get away. But then the bad guys are
shootin’ missiles at you, and they’re like (making
explosion sounds), and you’re like (making
shooting sounds), and it’s like (making
explosion sounds). – What are you, a (beep) retard? What the hell is
wrong with this kid? – [Announcer] AT&T. (chuckling) – Man, I’m starvin’. Let’s get out of here. (slow, upbeat music) – Dude, isn’t that the
girl from our building that you’re obsessed with? You know, the one you’re always lookin’ at her
Facebook pictures, even though you’re
not friends with her? What’s her name again? – I’m not obsessed
with her, Frank. Her name’s Ashley. – Just go talk to her, already. Quit being such a homo. Are you gay? (slapping) You’re so gay, dude,
look how gay you are. – Stop.
– You’re so gay. – Stop. Stop.
(yipes) (farts) (groaning) – Ashley! – (whispering) Why the hell
did you do that, Frank? – (Whispering) Just get
over there and talk to her. – What do I say? – Why are you whispering? She’s all the way
across the street. She can’t hear
anything we’re saying. – I don’t know,
I’m really nervous. – Go ask her. Just go ask her out. (brushing off clothes) – Uh, are you eating out
of the garbage, dude? (smack) Well, maybe I’ll have a little. (slurping) what else is in here? – (loudly exhaling)
You can do this. (purposeful music) – Hey, Jack. Do you wanna sign my petition
to help save the cheetahs? – Not right now, Stanley. Kinda busy. – For a small donation
of 60 cents a day, you could really make a
significant difference in a cheetah’s life, Jack. – Maybe later, Stanley. – Ch-cheetah’s numbers have
been rapidly decreasing in the last couple
of years, Jack. But you can help. Here’s some facts
about cheetahs. Yellow. Spots. Fast. – I don’t give a fuck about
the cheetahs, Stanley. (tears splatting) (crying and sniffling) – Nobody cares
about the cheetahs. (crying) (loudly sighing) – God damn it, Stanley. – Uh, how’d it go, buddy? – I was walkin’ over, and. – Don’t worry, he’s cool. – I was walkin’ over
and I ran into Stanley. – That guy sucks. – I really was gonna talk
to her this time, too. – Mmmhmmm. (rustling food wrapper) – Are you eating
outta the garbage? – Yeah, it’s
actually pretty good. (stomach rumbling loudly) Oh, my god, I’m
gonna have diarrhea. – Frank, please find a bathroom. – Look, just because you’re
scared to go in public doesn’t mean I am, also. (peeing) – Fuck. – Hot dog? (cries out fearfully) (smacking hotdog) – Sorry. Seriously, though, Frank. Please find a bathroom. – Look, Jack. Us animals weren’t
meant to use bathrooms. So I’m gonna go drop one
on that pole over there, and you’re gonna watch. Hold this. (smacking) – Ah, you knocked my
contact out, you dick. – Hey, did you call
my name before? Are you eating out
of the garbage? – What? No, no, this is my friend’s. – What friend? – God damn it, dude. He’s the dog across the street. – That dog? – Hey Jack, you watching? I don’t know why he’s
so uptight about this. It’s not even illegal. (straining) (pooping splat) (police siren beeps) – You got a bag for that poop? – Pssh, yeah, whatever, pigster. (squeals) – What the fuck
did you just say? (whimpering) I think the human
should pick it up. – What’d you just say? (police speaker crackles) – Hey, human. Pick up this dog poop. – What? I’m not pickin’ up his poop. – He’s gettin’ hostile. Pull your gun. (gun safety clicking off) – Frank, stop. – Pick up that fucking poop. (screams) (gun fires) (all screaming) – I’m gonna need two bags. (chuckles) ♪ Let your instincts take over ♪ Concrete way cool, stay open ♪ Check it out ♪ Lion in the rain flow ♪ Monkey at a liquor store ♪ Kickin’ it in the jaw ♪ Like I’m kickin’ in the door ♪ Visitin’ with Biggy Smalls ♪ City boy ♪ Big as hell ♪ City is a wishing well ♪ All out summertime,
hotter than a living hell ♪ Leave my heart and get
the stuff out in the car ♪ That don’t need keys
to start, now let’s go ♪ Gentleman, tell a friend ♪ Devil’s on the loose ♪ Should be giving
back the melon ♪ And revel in this music ♪ Get it shakin’ like gelatin ♪ Have to see the experience ♪ Feel it in your skeleton ♪ Life, death, in between ♪ The way to finally make
it up out of the rain ♪ That’ll be the day ♪ Guess it’s all the same ♪ Concrete Jungle ♪ Sunshine to rain, let’s go

4 thoughts on “Concrete Jungle: The Series – Pilot

  1. This is everything that is amazing.  As an artist, I am inspired for real by this.  I wish you and your project nothing but success.

  2. Congratulations on your cartoon kickstarter success!  I've followed and shared this entire campaign and I think you have a hit on your hands.  I can see this on FX! Your campaign was total inspiration for my project.  Hope to work with you in the future!

    -Freed

  3. Loved it, only bit of criticism I'd suggest changing Jack's look a little bit, he looks a bit too much like the dude from Ugly Americans. Other wise no complaints, if every ep ends like this your gonna have a crap ton of laughs, subscribers, and other positive things comin' your way.

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