Ambition – Aspects of the Ego – Wayne Dyer

who you are now gets defined first of all by what you have and so you start having an ambition about from very early in your life it starts with your toys and the stuff that is yours and so on and then it goes to your you know your various possessions and your bank accounts and all of this kind of thing so in the you know at the very beginning in this ambition stage you are taught that you are what you have what you accumulate what you collect what you get to what you own and it's yours and therefore the lessons become the more that I have the better person that I am and so and the more the more valuable the stuff that I have is the more that it costs is even makes me even more important or much better than as I say over here in a way I'm all better we're more better so so we spend a lot of our energy a lot of our time a lot of our work and and our thoughts on how much stuff can I get how much can I accumulate and the problem that comes up with this is that if you believe that you are what you have if you really believe that and that's pretty much what we're taught then when you don't have or when it or when you lose it or when it's taken away from you or when it gets old or when someone steals it or whatever it might be whatever this stuff is that you have and that's who you are and it's it's no longer there and what we learn when we study the doll is that's that everything is cyclical you know things come in and then they leave things come in and it's true in our lives as well there are periods of great affluence and great abundance the stuff will come into our life and then it will dissolve and disappear and go someplace else and then something else will and and you know the cyclical nature of everything in the universe is that it's up and then it's down and that built into every storm is calmness and so on so so we have a you know almost like a dilemma if I am what I have then when I don't I'm not I start to get I start to get really terrified I start to get really scared when I don't have as much stuff as I want to have or when other people have more stuff so we spend a lot of our energy comparing ourselves to what other people haven't so that's the first lesson of the ego another aspect of what we learn in this ambition stage of our life is that the ego says I am not only what I have but I am what I do so now it's all about achievement and this is really huge in the whole ambition thing so that the more that I do the more that I achieve the more awards that I get the higher that I go and my my educational pursuits the more degrees that I have all of these kinds of things getting ahead of the next guy the whole corporate ladder business you know that we that we train young children in school and we train them in in our schools also we train them you know that what you do is you know you you have to compare yourself to how other people are doing so you're in a classroom of 30 kids and there's the ones who do the best on them on their exams and so on get the gold stars and when they're in the early grades so they get them all posted on the board and when they get a little bit higher they get into the National Honor Society and they have and they get more Awards and so on and there's this continuous emphasis on becoming more and more and more ambitious in your life and not only accumulating a lot of stuff but getting a lot of merit badges behind you and these merit badges you know come in the form of trophies and they come in the form of all kinds of award letters and things like this the problem with this for all of us is that if you are what you do then when you don't you aren't so if you now can't let's say you have an accident and you get hurt or you know you get dismissed from the job that you're in or somebody else gets it and you don't I mean there's an endless number of possibilities all of which everybody watching has experienced in their life at one time or another get to do and then you don't get to do and so one of the real problems in our society is that people get to a certain age and they can't do at the same level as someone younger than them is able to do then that's when they have thoughts of depression and anxiety and worry and fear and they go off to you know they find themselves swallowing a lot of medication and so on just to deal with that and suicide rates go really go way up as people get into the 50s and 60s and realized that they can't do what somebody else behind them is doing or that you get left behind but if you are believing that you are what you do and you don't understand this and so and then you know it all passes you by you see so ambition has its real upside for a while but it always ultimately has the downsides and the downside always is that I'm not going to always be able to do what I'm doing now or at the level that I'm doing it now or something some change is going to come along and I'm gonna be required to move into another direction but I don't know how to do that because I only know how to do this and that's who I am this is why I mean you're people saying that but this is who I am this is the only the only way I know how to be so that's the second aspect of the ego you know with with ambition is that we are taught this and this is this isn't just a a mild kind of influence that's on young people when they're when they're this is it's almost like a conspiracy I mean it's it's it's that big where that it's impossible to escape this whole plunging you into this world of ambition and having to believe that I have to accumulate more and I have to be ahead of the other guy this is what competition comes from this is winning this is I'm you know if all you have to do is watch a bunch of young people is there at about a football game and it's like how they're all doing this right all doing this and what is this me we're number one we're number one we're number one everybody everybody out there has to be number one we have to compete we have to be better than somebody else we have to accomplish and so and when we dull were depressed and we're hurt and we're in full of anguish and we have riots and all kinds of craziness all on this business of ambition then the third aspect of of ambition and taking on the ego is the belief now that not only am i what I what I have and what I do but I also become what other people think of me so my reputation becomes something really really important in young people we call this peer pressure we call this the time in in a young person's life when what other people think of them is really very important so there so we're going round and we're taught you know as young people that it's important to get along it's important to fit in it's important that other people like you it's important for you to to realize that if you don't if you're not liked by your friends you're not going to be very happy you're not going to get the things that you want for yourself in your life and so now we've we've taken this little beautiful creature who just showed up from a microscopic dot and everything was handled for it and it wasn't doing nothing it was just being done and we've imposed three really harsh kinds of requirements on this person forget all of this forget this little bundle of perfection you know that was created by God and it is a peace of God and let's set it over here and let's create a new one and make it believe that it has to accomplish it has to accumulate and it has to win the approval of other people now what I have learned over the years is that if someone I gave a seminar not too long ago and someone wrote me a letter and said the seminar did not live up to my expectations okay and was sort of complaining about whatever that was and I got thinking about that like how would our there were a thousand people at the seminar and how if I if I have a thousand people who come to my seminar all with expectations how in the world am I going to deliver a seminar and meet everybody else's expectations out there how can you how is it possible to do that you can't focus you can't go out there in front of an audience you can't perform you can't do anything in that focused on whether you're going to be approved of or liked or accepted by all of the people that are out there one of the things that you discover and you learn is that you you know you have to become independent of the good opinion of other people and as I've told each one of my children as they were growing up I'm not focused on you know whether people like you or don't like you you can't be responsible for that in fact you should forget about your reputation it's a meaningless construct because it doesn't exist within you you don't have a reputation that you did that is going to be something that you can hang on to and use wherever you go you know if you give a talk to a thousand people you got a thousand reputations the minute will they walk out and about you'll you'll ask them what was it about it did you like it at all and you get a thousand different responses that's the way the world is you know and when the greatest political landslide in American history I think it was Mondale and and Reagan I think that's what it was it was a you know like they said it was just a disaster for Mondale because he lost forty five percent of the people voted for for Walter Mondale for president or 45 percent so when you get half the people plus a few percentage points you got a landslide so you're looking for you know landslides are half the people plus one or two and you're doing great you know but all the people everybody that you meet ever you know trying to please everybody out there all the time so it would it would seem to me that the a person who is is focused on who they are rather than on what other people's expectations are would be someone who wouldn't at all be concerned about you know what other people think of them what their reputation is and so on so those three things are the the other the real guts of of ambition you

5 thoughts on “Ambition – Aspects of the Ego – Wayne Dyer

  1. It makes sense when heard in a seminar or on youtube but it's another story to keep that in mind in our everyday life.

  2. I want to share with you I have had possession stolen from me from family friends… and I've been taken advantage of many times because of my heart. I have so much anger inside of the people that have hurt me that it's hard to let go. Can you give me some advice or how can I let go of the people that have hurt me so much and have solace in my life? You are a wonderful speaker and a brilliant man thank you for sharing.

  3. The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin, and the less I care about what others think of me. I am my own cheerleader, and God approves of me. And that's good enough for me.👧

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