All Hail Hale | UCB Innovation Inc.

– Right now on UCB Innovation Inc. (drum music)
(air whooshing) – Media companies have
been going out of business, but we have survived. Do you know why? – An angel investor who
doesn’t seem to care that we’re always in the red? (air whooshing)
– I love Nick Jonas so much that when I bumped into him on the subway, I literally exploded into 1,000 pieces. (air whooshing)
– I wanna be validated. I wanna be told that I’m very funny. When I walk out of the room, I’m being carried on people’s shoulders, otherwise I’ll be sad. (air whooshing) – That’s disgusting! – I love music, thank you. – I will make you suffer! (blues guitar music) – I know we’re really disappointed
in the amount of views our last innovation got. – You mean three? How is that even possible? You get one just for uploading it. – Keeley, did you set it
to unlisted or something? – What do I look like, an idiot? Please. – Listen up, I’m your lead innovator now. And we’ve gotta half the day. Turn this day around. All right, on your feet! The state of digital
content creation is dire. Unless you’re an influencer
or a major corporation, the deck is stacked against you. Hope, internet, dead. Social media, let’s pay to play. Media companies have been
going out of business left and right, but us, we have survived. Do you know why? – An angel investor who
doesn’t seem to care that we’re always in the red? – Because we stick together! Our content is dumber, slower, and lower budget than ever before. You, what’s your name? – Tasha. – Where are you from?
– Indiana, born and raised. – Who are you? – Molly, I’m from Northern Maine. – That explains a lot. Who are you? – Michelle, from LA. – You moved from LA to New York. That’s backwards, no one ever does that. Who are you? – Keeley, North Dorth Court. – Is that a real place? – I got nervous and I made up words. – My name’s Hale, and I was
raised by digital content! All right, here’s what we’re gonna do. Born-raised, you’re offense. You brainstorm new ideas for innovations. – I’m on it, sir. – Basically Canada. – Present!
– You’re our defense. Look at our competitors’ content, and you make sure we got
more jokes, better sound. ‘Cause sound’s all that
matters in the comedy video. – That is so true. – Backwards traveler. – Can I get a different nickname? – Special teams, you look at
hot topics, topical words, buzz words, trending, upcoming holidays. That’s some guaranteed views right there. – Got it. – And Keeley, assistant coach. – Why am I exed out? – You ex over to get me a towel ’cause I speeched myself into a sweat. All right, let’s all put
our hands in the middle. We are innovators, and
innovators innovate together! – [All] We are innovators,
innovators innovate together! – Yeah! – Man, this is gonna be great! (laughs) I’m gonna get a towel. (drum lick) (dramatic music)
– A real comedian performs for real people. Then a fake moderator
leads a real focus group while they watch. What is a joke? I mean, as a comedian,
I know what it is, duh. But as a fake research scientist, I need to ask that question because it’s like totally obvious, right? And gonna be really easy to answer. Pat Regan. – Nate, oh my goodness,
thank you for having me. This space is amazing. – So today, I’ve invited popular
New York standup Pat Regan to perform for a group
of internet participants of a real focus group. How do you describe your act? – Well, I am a brave, strong gay man and that definitely comes into my act. My bit is a little bit self-depricatory. And I’m just trying to be myself on stage. I have been a participant in a focus group and I love them. I love to work with other people, giving takes and opinions on products like juices, devices, and apps, but I’ve never been the product before. – And what kind of feedback on your act are you interested in receiving today? – I don’t love feedback in general. Like I would love like celebration. I wanna be validated. I wanna be told that I’m very funny. I wanna walk out of the room like being carried on people’s shoulders. Otherwise I’ll be sad. – Okay, well, that’s a
little bit of pressure, but we’ll aim for that. – All right, great, thank you so much. (upbeat jazz music) – Hi.
– [Group] Hi. – Donuts. – I don’t even wanna eat
it, I just wanna look at it. – Fantastic, do you need anything? – I’m okay, thank you. – When we invite participants
to one of our focus groups, it’s important that they
be hungry for discussion, and donuts. As a comedy institution, we’re interested in what
goes beyond the subjective and into the objective of
what makes something funny. There are no right or
wrong answers in here, just different points of view. In addition, don’t feel
like I need to monopolize the conversation here. This should be a dialogue
between everyone. It’s actually really beneficial for me to hear how your perceptions and what questions you have for each other because something that is
as subjective as comedy, we can hear the same joke and
hear two different meanings. (clears throat) So let’s start here. Our opening question
today, what is a joke? (relaxing music) The group was perfect. It was time to bring in Pat. Let’s please welcome Pat Regan. (clapping) – Oh my god, thank you so much. Wow. As soon as I walked in, I kind of panned the room
just to check out my audience. And when I saw them I immediately knew, jean jacket on the left
was gonna be my girl. ‘Cause that’s my crowd,
girls in jean jackets. I am honored to be the
first gay man in history to be unsuccessful. Sometimes I sit at my window
at night and think to myself, “Whoa, crazy to think like my first agent “hasn’t even been born yet,” you know? And then while I’m
walking down the street, I’ll try to peer into
strollers and make connects with the leaders of tomorrow. Maybe you’ve noticed by
this point in the set, I have very long eyelashes. And oftentimes, people
think that they’re fake, like I’ve put these on,
but FYI, they’re real. And just so you know, I’m actually getting a lash
reduction surgery soon. – Oh no. – Because they’re hurting my back! (women laugh) – They’re too big, I wanna
be able to run. (laughs) When I sing, always it
sounds exactly like Fergie when she was singing the national anthem at the NBA All-Star game. Like I watched that video and I was like, “Wow, she’s copying me.” (laughs) (woman laughs) But I am glad that have that video now ’cause I do think it will
be a helpful teaching tool for talking to our kids
about Fergie, you know? ‘Cause now we have this video to show them and we can say, “This is Fergie. “I’m sure you have questions.” (laughs) Because before Justin dated Britney, he dated Fergie when he
was 16 and she was 23. – No way.
– And they don’t teach that in the schools.
– No! – But I will teach it
to my adopted children when I homeschool them, and that’s just what works for my family. I have a job, stay seated, at a… I have a temp job. I’m a temp gay receptionist
at a commercial realty space. And the other day, there
was a board meeting. My first week there,
there was a board meeting, like me peripherally involved
with a board meeting. And so, I was sitting
at my desk in a sweater, like fully being a temp gay receptionist, and this young man walks in,
who’s like definitely also gay, and he’s like, “My parents
are in the board meeting.” And I was like, “Okay, do
literally whatever you want.” And so, he like went back
and chatted with people, and then this woman, who’s
like my direct report, brought him over to me and introduced him. And we had this like
awkward, short conversation, and he went to have a lavish
lunch with his parents. And then the woman came back and was like, “He like made me introduce him to you “’cause he thought you were hot.” Well, she said cute because I guess like no one will ever give me
hot, everyone says cute. It’s sick and sad, but
I’m telling the story, and she said hot. And then she’s like, “He
currently goes to Yale.” So I just got to thinking
about it and I was like, he goes to Yale. I’m sure he would want our
adopted children to go to Yale. And I kind of pictured us
reading in bed at night, and I would kind of gently remind him to let them make their own choices. And then he would say
something defensive back like, “You have no idea what it’s
like be part of my family, “okay, the pressure!” And then I would just
kind of calmly respond, “That isn’t fair.” And then he would say
something hurtful like, “You don’t understand my world. “You’re just a–” And then stop himself, and
I would say, “Just a what?” And he would say, “Never
mind, can we just drop it? “I’m tired.” And I would say, “No, finish your thought. “Just a what?” And he’d be like, “I’m sorry,
can we just go to bed.” And I would be like, “Just
a temp gay receptionist? “Is that it?” And then I would say, “I
think you better sleep “in one of the guestrooms tonight.” And as he kind of like
grumpily gathered up all of his blankets, I would take out my journal
and write to myself, “Wow, I thought I’d found
my happily ever after. “But life isn’t a fairytale, it’s life.” So I’m not going to pursue it. I did go to like a small Catholic school. And being a young gay boy
there’s, you know, whispers. Like my fifth grade teacher was this woman named Sister Alice, who used to throw chalk at me when I wasn’t paying attention, but she had terrible aim
and she would always miss and hit this girl Cynthia
who sat next to me. And now they wanna give
teachers guns, can you imagine? Poor Cynthia! (laughs) Thank you guys so much, this was so fun. I wanna encourage each
and every one of you to follow me on social media. I’ve been Pat Regan
this whole entire time. Goodbye. – [Group] Bye. (clapping) – Thank you, Pat. Pat Regan. – Reagan?
– Pat Regan. – I can’t hear anything. Oh, wait, I can now. – What descriptors would
you use for his persona, and the kind of act that he does? – If they drag me, I’m gonna freak. – Humble?
– Humble. – I was gonna say self-centered. All his stories are about
himself and his life. – I’m so scared of the
one in the black jacket. – Self-centered’s not the right word, but you know what I mean. – Claudia in particular
had some strong opinions about Pat’s act. She was… thorough. – He was always kind of
using the same tone of voice to tell us the story. Maybe there could be
more variation than that? I like comedians which sometimes not surely do a full impression, but just like I was in the
situation and they went like this and they kind of like take
a different body language, “So I was there and the guy
was like, what do you mean? “And I was like, oh my god, I don’t know!” You know, just, I don’t know. (laughs) – Yeah, I’m done. – This person was specifically like an urban, millennial, gay man that if he pushed that even further and gave us a more full picture
of what his life is like, you know, how is it different
than being a straight man, or a gay man in a small town, and what does he encounter everyday. And he already has the
voice, it’s very distinctive. So I don’t know, it’s just
he could push that persona even further. I’m not saying he should like
do hand gestures or anything, but… ‘Cause I’ve never seen a comic
with that specific persona. – That’s a book, she wants
me to write a book! (laughs) – I put a star next to the Fergie section. – It’s just ’cause it’s so current, and everyone has seen that video, and everyone just knows how bad it was. So, just bringing up the
video is funny in general, I feel like. – How ’bout the section
where he’s describing being the first unsuccessful gay man? Does that concept hit? – Doesn’t really make
sense to me, I have to say. – She’s too much of an ally. – I feel like to laugh at that, you have to feel like all
gay men are successful, and I don’t know enough about like what traits successful people have ’cause I’m not. (laughs) – As soon as he says us, I
thought he was gonna successful, but he said unsuccessful. I said, “Wait, what?” Well, why would you declare
yourself unsuccessful? – That’s the joke, they don’t… – They didn’t seem overly
impressed with Pat’s material, so I asked them to brainstorm
some material for him. How could we punch that up? – I wish for me that there
was a bit more interaction with the audience. – I don’t do that, honey. – If I was a comedian, I would say, “Ladies and gentlemen,
I have a quick question. “I’m just inching to see, is there any…” And then, you know, take it on from there. – I feel like I’m Ricky and he’s Lucy, and he’s like, put me in the show. You’re not in the show. – Then he maybe say,
“Here’s my top five reasons “why it’s unsuccessful,” or
“the top five common reason,” and then he starts building up. The first one is makes
you laugh a little bit, and then the last one
makes you go berserk. – So build more jokes that height. – He should talk about the
social networking side more. Just talk about Instagram,
he does all that, but not his followers doesn’t grow. – Oh, he’s lame on social media. – Assuming his target
audience is millennials then. – He could be like, “I have six followers
and they’re all bots.” – Tom is your first friend from Facebook. He will always be my (laughs). – So Tom from Myspace is
my only Facebook friend. (group laughs) That seems to get a reaction in here. – Now it’s Mark Zuckerberg. – (laughs) No, Tom from
Myspace isn’t going in! – Well, thank you everybody
for your participation today. What we’d like you to
do is just put a rating of the comedy performance
that you saw today. Between one and 10, one being
the lowest, 10 the highest. – Drag me, I want fours. – It’s completely anonymous. Help yourself to some coffee
and some donuts on the way out, and thank you so much for doing this. Have a great night.
– [Group] Thanks. – This group was definitely
interested in feedback, and also in donuts. I don’t know that we
defined the word joke today, but we definitely got Pat
some feedback on his jokes. All right, Pat, some
very interesting results. I would have to say that
that group liked you in a lot of ways. – Oh, that’s good to hear. – Did you feel that the
feedback was positive? – Some positive, some negative I felt. But I respect their
opinions and celebrate them. They just kept talking about like how much I should or shouldn’t
play into being a gay man, and I was like, don’t worry about it. Let me give you that gift,
don’t worry about it. – The research seemed pretty
conclusive from this group, albeit it a small sample size, that they yearned for interaction
with you during the set. – I think that maybe like reach
out to your support system, like interact with your loved ones, family, friends, peers, coworkers. I’m not necessarily there to make friends. You know what I mean? But if that’s what they
needed in that moment then I guess I wish I
could’ve given it to them. – Well, they all liked you. – Right.
– I would say very much. In fact, you received an
average score of 6.97. – I wouldn’t call that super positive. I would call 6.97 like a funny coworker. I mean, I’ll take it ’cause
I celebrate their opinions and they’re valid, but it’s definitely not something I’m gonna write home to the fam about, “Hey, it’s going great in
New York, I got a 6.97.” – Did we do good research today? I don’t know I’m not
actually a researcher. But we did learn one thing. Eating donuts on camera
is fricking hilarious. Try to look good doing this. (blues guitar music) (sighs) – Hey, Hale. – What’s up, kid? – You need any help? – With what? – Your little limpy leg. – It’s an old cramp. – Oh, okay, well, I just wanted to say that I think you’re the best ever. – Okay, thanks, I guess. – Hey, you thirsty? You want some of my secret stuff? – No, thank you. – Really, you can have it. – I don’t want that. – Seriously, take some. – Fine! (upbeat music) (spits) That’s disgusting! I thought this was cola! – It is, it’s mixed with
orange juice and a lot of salt. That’s the secret. Okay, jeez, don’t meet your heroes. – We met this morning! – What? I think I’d remember that. – Get back to work! – Okay. – Hey, kid, wait. (groans) – Oh my god, it’s soaking wet! What is it raining? – What, no, I’m just sweating. – From what, jogging? – I was eating lunch! – In a pool? – Just get back to work! – Okay, okay, okay, oh my god,
it’s in my fucking throat. – Things need to change around here. (air whooshing)
(dramatic music) I’m gonna be the one to change it. Writing a memo. (air whooshing) – You don’t know shit, but you could, so sit up and take notes
while your favorite genius and his cabal of braniacs
download some knowledge into your cranium. You can’t learn it all at once, but you can learn One Fucking Thing. ‘Sup, dipsticks, I’m Michael Cruz Kayne, your favorite half-Filipino genius. My mother was a library book
and my dad was an abacus. I’m so smart that Princeton applied to me. Today on OFT, we’re gonna
talk about the nemesis of word nerds everywhere, the ineluctable drift of language. Time out. Do you know what ineluctable means? If so, great. If not, pause this video
and look it the fuck up! Curiosity and answer
seeking are tent poles of an intelligent society. And if you don’t have those tent poles, then you don’t have a fucking tent, and then the whole circus
is canceled, you dig? Okay, time in. So, the English language is drifting. Great, but what does that mean? Gradually language changes. If you think it doesn’t, see if there’s anywhere
in “Titus Andronicus” where Tamora says, “Damn,
dude, you fed me my own sons? “That is savage AF lol.” Or conversely, see how many
of your favorite pop songs use the word forsooth. Yeah, none. Now, the fact that we don’t say, “Privy, my good Uber driver,
wither are we bound,” doesn’t bother anyone because that diction seems extremely old to us. But what about the drift that’s happening right in front of us right now. People are losing their damn minds. Am I right, Will? – You got it, bro. – As you know, OFT is a
massive network of employees spread over different
departments all over the world. Will Martinez is our VP of the Words that Give
Nerds Wet Turds Department, or WTGNWTD. He’s like the 911 for words. What’s good, Will? – I just got a special
delivery of the words that make people freak out. – Ooh, what are we talking about? – Let me take a look, mm-hmm,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yup, just as I thought. It is the word that we get
literally a million times a day. – Oh, wow, maybe I should
literally deal with it. – Please, I’m literally dying right now! – Let’s do this. – Oh, I can’t do it right now. I gotta go to a DBMS party. – You mean BDSM? – No, damn big microscope party. I’m so excited, I can’t
be late to this one. I got the scopes.
– Cool. – What’s BDSM? – Uh, doesn’t matter. – Bye! – Okay! Just as you might have guessed, here is what gets the word
nerd’s turds all squishy. Literally is supposed to
mean in a literal sense or exactly. Here’s an example of standard usage. I asked my mom to pick
me up at the airport and she took me literally. She held me over her head for 30 seconds. My mom is very strong. Here literally is used to
mean in a literal sense because my mom actually picks me up. Textbook example. However, literally is now often used as its natural opposite, figuratively, which means not exactly or metaphorically. Here’s an example of that fucking usage. I love Nick Jonas so much that when I bumped into him on the subway, I literally exploded into 1,000 pieces. I do love Nick Jonas. That dude is delicious. But this usage freaks people out because I didn’t really explode, I really started spontaneously
crying and then I fainted. So, what do we tell people
who are like, “Really? “Did you literally explode? “Literally, literally?” Be relaxed, my dudes. Why are you going nuts about literally, when you use similar words
similarly all the time? If I don’t get the new
smartphone the day it comes out, I’m actually gonna kill someone. Actually, actually? Why don’t we freak out about that? Actually’s original
meaning was in reality, but we use it the same way
we often use truly or really, both of which often don’t
need in truth or in reality. The only difference is
that those words drifted from their original meanings
hundreds of years ago while literally is drifting now. Moral of the story, you might not like the drift
of words like literally, but you can’t fucking stop it. English doesn’t give a fuck about you. It’s gonna do its thing
irregardless of whether you like it. Irregardless, irregardless. I know, it’s killing you. Irregardless, that’s not
a word, make it stop! Well, here’s a little
bonus knowledge for you! Did you know that even though irregardless and regardless mean the same thing, English contains a lot of
words that mean the same thing. And that adding an
unnecessary prefix like ir is the same kind of drift that happened with adding re to
iterate to get reiterate. Even though reiterate and
iterate mean the same shit. What? Yes! Reiterate and iterate both mean to repeat. Allow me to iterate that for you. Reiterate and iterate both mean to repeat. How ’bout this shit, the word sanction drifted from its initial meaning of approved, like I begged my mom to sanction my haunted house birthday party, to another totally opposite
meaning to impose a penalty, like after I cried because my haunted house
birthday party was too scary, my mom sanctioned me by
taking away by Game Boy. And those are just two examples. If I listed every word that underwent some kind of definitional
drift since its origin, that list would go to the
moon and back literally. I’ll see you next time
on One Fucking Thing! Bye. (air whooshing) – My name is Dave Hill, and I’m here to do comedy for one person, who I guess has the time. (dramatic music) I’m gonna have to go out there and, I guess they call it barking, where you hand out flyers and beg people to come to the show, which I’ve never actually done. Wanna go to a free comedy show? Want a free piece of paper? Feel like that went well. Oh, hey, wanna go to a free comedy show? – Oh, yeah, thanks. – It’s now, it’s right now! Wanna go to a comedy show? – Are you going to make me laugh? – We’ll see. – All right.
– Good, well, come. – So what do you do for your real job? – Sound like my mother.
(woman laughs) What’s your name again? – My name is Cara. I’ve been a traveler
for the last five years and living all over here and there. Here I am in New York. – Let’s get you right here. – In the middle?
– Yeah. Perfect. Lady! Now coming to the stage, you know him from
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, The Tick, Full Frontal with Sam Bee. He’s got his own radio show on WFMU. He’s written couple books
and like all sorts of been on basic cable a lot, more than a lot of people even realize, and streaming services. And he’s not for everybody,
but those who like him, he’s their favorite. Dave Hill.
(clapping) Thank you, thank you so much, stop it. That’s enough. How am I doing on time?
(woman laughing) I’ll tell you a little bit about myself. I love music, thank you, thank you. And I know you’re thinking
like, Dave, what’s the big deal? Everyone loves music, but here’s a really cool thing about me, I love all kinds of music. Thank you. Ma’am, what kind of music do you like? No more cropper, okay. No, but I do, I love
rock music, I love jazz, I love rap, I love
classical, I love metal. Like you might not know it to look at me, but I’m probably like the
most metal motherfucker of all time. Like when I got to the
airport and the TSA guy says, “All metal objects must
go through the x-ray,” I just lie down on the
fucking conveyor belt. That’s how metal I am. The only kind of music I
don’t like is world music. It’s the only music that’s so shitty that no one country
will take credit for it. Like you hear it and you’re like, “Hey, Zimbabwe, that’s you guys, right?” And Zimbabwe’s like, “I
don’t think we did that.” Do you mind if I come out there? – No, I don’t think that’s (laughs). – What? – All right. – It’s fine, I just got out of my… Lost my focus. – Should I stand?
– No, no. Just stay where you are. Do you ever do this? Where you just like why,
what’s the point of anything? Like I’m grateful to
have a career in comedy. Then you go like what’s
it all mean, you know? For me, as life goes on I’m like, I don’t really care about anything except just hanging out
with my friends and family and like loved ones and
just like having some pizza or Chinese food or a
couple drinks or whatever. And I travel all over the world, and I just can’t believe
it, how lucky I’ve been. I mean, it could be a lot
better, let’s be honest. How am I doing on time? I should probably wrap it up. Just supposed to do a 10 minute set. – This is the best show. I’ve never had a personalized
show in my life. (laughs) – That’s why I’m number one. – My god, you should do
this for a living. (laughs) – I do do it for a living! Now you say that and it
plays on my insecurities. Do you like pizza? – Yeah, I like pizza.
– Do you wanna get pizza? – Yeah, let’s go get some pizza. – Need to actually put the mic back. Just a sec. No, wait. All right, that’s my time. (clapping) – Yeah, I didn’t expect to
like it that much. (laughs) And I really did. – I’ve done shows for
more people than that that didn’t go as well, and
that’s saying something. – It’s crazy cool. It’s like if you could do that
for everybody in a snapshot. Beautiful moment. – I think I could still
be in there talking to her if we both didn’t have all
this stuff going on today. That’s great, do you wanna– – All right, let’s go get that pizza. (air whooshing) ♪ It’s time to ♪ ♪ Hang out with ♪ ♪ Your Asian friend ♪ (rock music) – At last, I’ve waited
so long for this moment. A protein bar would really
hit the spot right now! (exhales loudly) Pretzels?! It’s not possible! I will make you suffer! (yells) Now, I’m mad! (exasperated breathing) – What the… are you insane? This is the most powerful vending
machine in all of history! It makes sense that only you
would truly be able to doubt the magnitude of this vending
machine’s power! (yells) – The vending machine surprised me. I’d say it won the first round, but now that you’re here,
it’s time for round two! (upbeat rock music) (both yelling) (exasperated breathing) (yelling) – It’s pure evil. If we let this dirt bag
vending machine live, it will continue to take money from everyone in the universe! (relaxing music) – You boys are all the same. All action, no patience. (laughs) (relaxing music) (xylophone music) (gong sounds) (choking grunts) – Was that–
– A girl? (blues guitar music) – Hey, did you guys see this memo that Hale sent out last night? Really calls a lot of people out on it. It’s also a lot of stuff
about former President Bush? – Eyes up here. – Boss? – Apparently my memo,
things I say before I think, didn’t go well with upper management. So I’ve been traded. – Traded? – Well, more accurately, I’ve been fired. Not gonna do what I know all
of you think that I’m gonna do, which is just to flip out!
(glass crashing) That’s what they want in this business! A guy to freak out so you can film him, and use it for a gif or loop
it, make a meme out of it, and have a whole series with
funny captions and fart noises! (group giggling) Now I think that’s
actually kind of amazing. Start working on it. You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna start a new
digital media company! (sighs) I mean, it’ll likely fail. But then, I’m gonna start
a single video channel! I mean, I likely won’t be
able to monetize my videos. But then, I’m gonna do
a viral Insta video! It’d be everywhere! But granted, if I don’t
follow up my posts, will likely also fail. But then, I’m gonna be writing on my blog, on my website that no one looks at. I’m taking this fish USB stick! – My screenplay’s on that! – Yeah, and so are the
best fart sound effects! Good luck without that! So, who’s coming with me? (sighs) All right, Keeley, let’s go. – Boss, I would, but we’re
three months from a raise, so– – We don’t get raises ’til January. – I just scared. – I’ll go with you. – Yes, intern! Let’s go. Do you know Adobe? – Hale, wait! (dramatic music) Oh, captain, my captain. – It’s not even a sports movie. – It’s not? (dramatic rock music) – Hey, kid, wait. – Oh my god, it’s soaking
wet, is it raining out? Oh! Oh (laughs) my god! – Wait.
(laughing) – Wait.
(slow motion laughing) – (pained groan) Oh my
god, it’s soaking wet! (pained groan) Oh my god,
it’s so wet! (laughs) (pained groan) What the hell, it’s so wet! (laughing) – Yeah, it’s just sweating! (dramatic rock music)

4 thoughts on “All Hail Hale | UCB Innovation Inc.

  1. He says he looks like an Idiot – he's got IDIOT written on his Face!!!

    HA HA
    HA HA
    HA HA

    (he said idiot….)

  2. I want to like this. I like the concept.
    That said, the outtakes are the best part. The creation gives me more laughs than the rest of it.

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