[Rapping] Jump through hoops, while I take big poops Ladies call me Raisin Bran cause I got two scoops! If it hasn’t happened by now, I’ll never be the greatest rapper of all time. It would take a miracle. Miracles happen… [GUN SHOTS] [MORE GUN SHOTS] What happened?! Wooo-UHH! We lost electricity all over the world Nooo! And then, you were shot 30 times by a group of Bloods! OOOOhhh! Well that explains the guaze! Elie got you a gift! Wow. We know how much you love accessories. Well go on then, rap us a song would you please. Alright, I’ve got one. California…knows how to party. California…knows how to party. [RAPPING] Out on bail, fresh outta jail, California dreamin [RAPPING] Soon as I step on the SCENE I’m hearing hoochies screamin [RAPPING] Feenin for money and alcohol, the life of a west side player When did you write that?! Well I didn’t write it, 2Pac wrote it. Tupac Shakur. Two Who?! The greatest rapper of all time. NO! He’s no Macklemore. He’s no Young Blood. Isn’t he dating Halsey now? Oh yeah! [Yeah!] Brilliant! [Brilliant!] Sometimes it feels like someone else is doing the songwriting. [RAPPING] Perhaps I was addicted to the dark side Somewhere inside my childhood witnessed my heart die. We would like you to write something RIGHT NOW. Yeah, alright then. [RAPPING] I see no changes, wake up in the morning and I ask myself [RAPPING] Is life worth living, should I blast myself [RAPPING] I’m tired of being poor and even worse I’m black [RAPPING] My stomach hurts, so I’m looking for a purse to snatch. I’ve waited half my life for you to tell me you loved me. But I’m just a school teacher, and you’re the greatest rapper alive with too many hos! I don’t have too many hos! But YOU DO THOUGH. [RAPPING] I bet you got it twisted, you don’t know who to trust [RAPPING] So many player-hating [PAUSE] trying to sound like us Why are there so many pauses in it? That’s a good question Ed Sheeran It’s not about the words, it’s about the spaces in between. He’s like the WHITE Eminem Hey man, that’s 2Pac! He’s doing 2Pac… No! There’s no such thing as 2Pac! Ya’ll ain’t got 2Pac in the UK? What you mean, no, All Eyez on Me? That’s 2Pac! What are you talking about the MOVIE? Yeah! There was a movie! [The film with 2Pac!] Oh that’s 2Pac. [Yes]. THAT IS 2PAC! What are you doing!? Unbelievable! Wait, so you basically stole the music of one of the most beloved African American artists of all time and passed it off as your own work? [CLEARS THROAT] Yeah… I think we’re gonna have to bust some caps! Yeah, knee caps, yeah… [let’s do it!] Yeah, alright then… Oh! Ah! STOP! Not you too Ed Sheeran! I’m gonna change the shape of you! [MUSIC] Make money… [MUSIC] All eyez on me!